P.S. I Hate You

The bell woke me up from my doze. "Stupid bell," I mutter and turn on my side and wince quickly. NOT a good idea. Ow, ow... The nurse comes in and says to just stay off it and just in case, promises to write out a note that I'm excused from P.E. for the next two weeks.

I could have HUGGED her!

Then I remember my school ends when the bell rings... at 3 pm. My last class ends a half hour before, right when Benji is getting out! I gasp, grabbing my bag and running out, shoving past people. Benji gets so scared whenever I'm late, but half an hour! "Move!" I call out but everyone's going through. I groan in frustration, trip down the stairs three times and jump the last four steps.

I wince cause I landed a little funny but I'm out of time. I start running when I suddenly trip and the notebooks that wouldn't fit in my heavy backpack go flying. "Stupid, little..." I start muttering and climb back onto my knees, seeing what tripped me.

A foot.

Attached to legs....

Attached to Caleb.

"You!" I say in exasperation. "Why is it always you, you big jerkwad! Thanks a lot! I'm sure you're happy now!"

"Well..." He drawls.

"Oh, save it for those who care," I snap and start collecting my notebooks.

"Oh, no worries. Everyone cares about me," He smirks, obviously throwing in the fact how most of our teachers hate me. I glare. "But no worries. I'm sure I'll see you in the crowd and I'll wave as I pass by."

"Keep dreaming," my voice is dripping with sarcasm. I've grabbed the last and stand. "Or better yet, swallow yourself and vanish. I'm sure we'd all be amazed- not to mention happy as pie." I shoot him a dirty look and start jogging, slowly speeding up, and filled with adrenaline.

He sucks. He sucks. He sucks.It falls into rhythm in my steps as I leave the school and start the next five blocks. He sucks. He sucks. He sucks. He sucks.

I reach the school panting. I chew my lip and hold onto my backpack. I don't see him. Where could he be? It's just about empty with a few scragglers. "Benji?" I call out, looking around. He's not at the park near by. Finally I jog into the building and there he is, in a chair, head down and swinging his feet because he's still too small to reach the bottom.

I sigh in relief. "Thank goodness. Benji?" I call out. His head perks up hopefully. Seeing its me, he runs over, swinging his backpack. "Hey little man!" I get on my knees to look him in the eye. "I'm so, so sorry I was so late. I won't do this ever, ever, ever again. I promise. Forgive me?"

"Ever, ever, ever again." He repeats cautiously. I nod quickly. He grins and flings his arms around me. "Yep!" I hug him tightly in return. "Okay, let's get out of here," I mutter. I wave to the secretary who looks at me sourly.

I take his hand and backpack and head out. Walking out, there's the car... him. I glare as it comes up and there's another boy who comes running out of the office. I look away sourly and we walk on.

"I'm tired," Benji complains. I look down. We've walked two blocks so far. "Fine, little man." I shove my extra things in his backpack and put him on my back. "But hold on, cause I'm carrying both bags, okay?" I tell him. He nods and breathes on my neck softly.

Half an hour later we reach the shoe store and I put him down. We spend a while roaming, looking for the right pair of shoes for my little brother. He finds some cool superhero ones and I decide they'll stay together long enough. I pay for them, and we throw his old shoes away so he can wear his new shoes.

I stop him for a small ice cream to share before going on home. He gets on my back again, so I'm left to carry him and two very heavy backpacks all the way home- the shoe store was farther than my school and I'm hoping I won't die from the bruise my little brother is leaning on.

Finally! "Hey big man, we're here." I announce outside the house. He gets down and stumbles, tired. "You go on in and nap for a little bit, then I'll help you with your school stuff, okay? But run fast into your room," I order quietly. He obeys and hurries off.

I put my bag on the steps and go weed for a little, just going over the day. Bending over hurts my back, but mother says it strains her back too much and Gerald said it's my responsibility, yada yada blah. Eugh.

I wipe my forehead and wince when the sweat trickles into my cuts. OUCH. Salt wounds=contemplated suicide.

"Bugger," I mutter and try to ignore the pain. I can't help but notice that Caleb has come out to wash his car and glare his way but he refuses to look my way. Not that I'd want him to, of course. EVIL maggot.

I get out the lawn mower and start pushing. Of course, mother chose the house with the worst grass spot- it heads down to the sidewalk like a hill and it's awful, trying to push this old heap about. It sucks, but by listening to my ipod on full blast, it's not that bad.

Finally! I edge the lawn and sweep and stumble inside. I grab a few bucks from my mother's wallet- hey, she said I could whenever I do the lawn. I take everything upstairs and put some of it into my savings and the rest in my wallet.

I wash my face and walk into my little brother's room. Such a cute little guy... but I wake him up and even though he has some learning disabilities- and a little lisp- we work on and he figures it out. But he really does love math where not everything messes his eyes up.

I work on my own homework after in the kitchen as Benji sets the table for dinner. I finish my line out for an essay, the questions for science and math, and read for history. Just a few more things... the front door bangs open and Benji freezes.

The front door only bangs like that in one occasion.

I close my eyes, my throat tightening. He hasn't gotten drunk for a month, so I suppose it had to be time. I wonder where mother is... right- a garden party. I swallow and try to think fast. "Benji-"

But he's here. "Hey!" He growls. We turn. "Yourrrr not donnnn, little mannnnn." We both wince. This is much worse than last time.

"He's almost done," I say cautiously. Gerald turns to me, squinting.

"You! You never apolooooogizeded," he mutters, pointing the now empty beer bottle my way. I slowly inch off the stool, glancing to Benji who's frozen in fear.

"I'm sorry," I say slowly.

He snorts and throws the bottle my way. Thank goodness, it's way off target. But I still flinch, my heart beating loudly. "Stop moving!" He blares at me. I slowly wipe the spittle off my face. He's so drunk then, he's going to pass out. Any minute, please, any minute....

"You little!" He then strings off all these curses my way. I make a motion to Benji who quickly clamps his hands over his ears. But I can't talk back or anything, because Benji is still here. If Gerald forgets about him, then Benji can run. He has to run...

"Where do you think you're going?" He growls deeply. Benji had taken a step towards the stairs. "Get back over here, young man, don't walk away from me!"

Gerald's off the deep end. "No!" I shout, before he can reach my brother. "He didn't do anything! Leave him alone!" Gerald stomps over and slaps me across the face. I fall against the counter and wince.

"Don't you tell me what to do! Donever tell'n me what I should do! Do you know who I am, kid?" He shouts and then more and more curses. I'd use them towards Caleb, knowing all this crap, but I promised dad as a kid I'd never speak like that. Just thinking of him like that starts tears in my eyes.

Gerald notices and laughs and more shouting. He yanks me by my hair and shoves me across the hall. I grab the golf club, trying to ward him off. "Benji, in your room," I command him. Still holding his hands over his ears, he runs. Gerald lunges but I whack him with the golf club, making him stumble.

Benji's safe.

I'm not. I can't believe I just did that... neither can he. A new light shines in his eyes and glares with deep hatred. "You little brat. Your daddy spoiled you, the awful man. Dead, dead man."

More words against my daddy. It makes me shake in anger. "No! Stop it!" And I throw the golf club. But it does no good, cause it's next to him. He grabs it and my arm in just moments.

"Who do you think you are?"

I cough at the smell of his breath. "Just...a..." I don't finish cause he tosses me aside and swipes me with the club on the legs. I crawl away, trying to escape but I'm just cornering myself.

The front door. I glance towards the stairs. Benji's safe. I have keys, a ladder. I'm at the front door and I walk out. Gerald wouldn't dare come out like this. Even drunk like he is, he knows better. And now… I’m free from him. For just so long…

"Hey, freak."

I glance up from holding my knees and glare at Caleb. "Get off our property."

"So friendly" he says sarcastically. "Nice face. Looks a little better now, too."

I touch the left side of my face... I'd fallen against the counter and gotten it on the edge. Little cut. I also taste something... I spit some blood out at his feet. He jumps aside and I smirk. "Get out."

He rolls his eyes. "Duh. My mom wanted to give you this," He shows an envelope and tosses it on the ground in front, meaning I'll have to go pick it up. I glare until he's out of sight.

Finally, I pick it up.

Shilohs,

Thanks so much for the treats, they were delicious and I'm afraid I'll have to ask you for that amazing recipe! We're also so grateful for the warm welcome into your neighborhood and were wondering if you would like to join us for a family barbecue this Saturday at seven.
The Williams.

I shove it in my back pocket and walk around the house, grabbing a ladder from the shed in the back. I put it against Benji's window, climb and knock. He sees it's me and opens the window. We shut it and I read a few books to him until I decide it's safe enough to grab some food for the two of us, and my homework, and stay hidden away.