P.S. I Hate You

The night lasted without any more incidents and nearing midnight I left Benji’s room, grabbed my schoolwork and ran back to my room. I spent the following hour going over my homework since my essay counted for 45% of our grade for the month and that always sucks. But it ended up being another two hours at my puny desk to finish everything. Being too tired to move, I fell asleep there.

And it’s not comfy. I groan upon wakening, feeling nauseous and sore. I stumble into the shower blindly – running into the wall, sink, and door before getting in- and climb out twenty minutes later, feeling only slightly more awake.

I gather my things, wearing a thermal black top and white T with gray skulls, most ragged jeans, shoes and bag, then I peak in that Benji’s getting ready. He is, so I head down.

Gerald peaks up over his coffee looking exhausted. “Morning. Homework done?” He asks. This is the part I hate the most- once drunk, he practically forgets everything up to the moment he wakes up with the hangover. So he doesn’t really get how he hits us. I shrug and trip over the golf club still lying there.

I fix some breakfast and manage to swallow nearly half just as Benji comes down and eats three times much as I do. “Ready?” I ask him. He nods and we call goodbye and leave for the day.

“Hey baby girl!”

You’ll only find one girl in the entire school shouting that so early in the morning. I barely have time to look around when she lunges on me. I laugh. “Jaz! Have enough coffee yet?” I joke.

“Are you kidding?” She shrieks in my ear and finally letting go. “I’ve just gotten started!” She laughs and I see a few freshies sneaking past with wide eyes.

“Hey, you’re scaring the munchkins and you’d better be ice with class,” I roll my eyes and pick my notebook back up that I had dropped when she came.

“Aw, they’ll live,” she says casually. “Anyways, I tried to call last night but you were a no-go. Awesome party and you should’ve come!”

“No joke?” I ask in surprise. “Wasn’t it once a rule to just have parties on the weekend?” It’s not like I go to parties much, due to Benji, but someone’s gotta protect my pals and now and then, I just need to hang around.

“No joke,” she swears, pulling me towards school. “And since you ditched, you HAVE to come after school and shopping.”

I groan. “Jaz, what did I tell you? Nothing after school!” Or no one’ll pick up my bro, of course.

She ‘tsks’ me. “Don’t you even, gal. You’re coming with me, no excuses, okay? You’ve been owing me foreeeeever, missy,” she gives me a look, pokes me on the nose, winks and runs off.

Jaz isn’t around to hear me sigh, groan, and hit my head on my locker. It’s true, though- I have owed her for three months, now. Why? I had to ditch her party- biggest ever- an hour in because Benji called me. That night, Jaz was also dumped and since everyone else disappeared, all I could do was talk real quick on the phone and get back to Gerald.

Obviously, no I have not told anyone about Benji. I mean sure, they know I have a little bro, and they’ve been over a time or two. But they don’t know that much and it’s better and safer- that way.

So my classes are spent with me distracted. How to get out of this? And still keep her happy? Take Benji? No… ditch her? She’d kill me. What to do… what to do!!

“Shiloh!” I jerk my head up in surprise. Ooo, not happy. Crap. He’s obviously been calling me a while…

Sniggers. I turn to glare at Caleb. Our teacher clears his throat and I turn back, blushing a little and slumping in my seat. “Well?” He asks.

“Um… could you repeat this question?” I wince as I ask it.

He purses his lips and goes back to the front.

So yeah, the rest of the day goes like this. Until the end when Jaz snags me. “Hey! Ready?” She asks, still hyper.

I pull on my fingers nervously. “Yeah, um, Jaz, about that…”

She folds her arms giving me a sour face, her good mood gone. “I’m sorry, you wouldn’t be dropping out, would you?”

“Um, no… just… I don’t have… much money to spend?” I say weakly. Jaz doesn’t mean to do this at all, it’s just… you know. But what do I do? I start glancing at everyone. What to do… “And… I need to… put a book away,” I say quickly, turn and run down the hall, tripping twice in the process.

I slam my head on my locker. What do I do? “If you need help with hitting yourself, I’d be glad to help,” comes a sarcastic voice.

I freeze. What if…? I whirl around to face a smirking Caleb. “You!” I say amazed.
“Yeeees,” He drags it out slowly like I’m a dimwit. “Ready to bow down and kiss my feet? It’s okay, I won’t kick you,” he adds snidely.

I snort. “I’d rather kiss a camel’s butt and that’s saying something, buttwipe. Get outta here before I sock you- again,” I smirk, turning my back to him. That, my dear friends, is called an ultimatum.

He scoffs but can’t think of anything else to say. So he starts walking off. Then I remember my situation and get sick almost. This, my dear friends, is called stupidity. “Wait!” I shout and run after him, shoving a few people.

“Finally coming to me?” He grins. “Knew you’d do it sooner or later. I’m simply irresistible.”

“Yes, to the pigs- we all know,” I add. He glares and turns. “Dang it!” I hit myself on the forehead. “Wait!” I grab his arm and make him turn. “I… I need a favor,” I tell him and bite my tongue.

Further stupidity. Stupid idea. He raises an eyebrow and nearly chokes on the laughter coming out. “Nice one!” And some further jokes I’d rather not recall.

“Just shut it, will you?” I grit my teeth.

“This is tooo good,” He smirks. “I’m holding you on this one.”

“Fine.” I snap.

He’s surprised- I am, too, at myself. I can’t believe I just roped myself into this. No good will come… I sigh, rubbing my forehead. “You have a little bro, I have a little bro, same ages, right?” I press.

He nods, rolling his eyes. “Duh.”

Don’t kill him, don’t kill him, don’t kill him… ”I can’t pick him up. Could you please take him over to your place for a few hours, and our bros can play?” I choke on my own words. I can’t believe I just said ‘our.’ Ew, ew, ew, EW!!!

He looks at me amused. “Oh yeah? What do I get out of it?”

I should have known. “Community service?” I try. He shakes his head. “Come on, I’m in a hurry! Yay or nay, buddy?”

“You have to do something for me,” he argues. “Agree?”

“Yeah, fine, whatever,” I mutter, seeing Jaz looking for me. “What is it?”

He smirks. “Mow my lawn.”

“That’s all? Sure.”

He waggles his finger. “Ay, I wasn’t done. You have to do it for the next two months.” I swallow. But… do I have much choice? “And wash my car.” He smirks.

My fingers dance on my backpack strap. Jaz is coming over, looking at us curiously. “You know what? Fine, forget it,” I snap and head to leave.

“No,” he grabs my wrist, this time to stop me. It’s weird how he’s so big, I can’t help but notice- his grasp encloses my wrist easily. Weird.

Anyways! “What?” I ask annoyed.

He rolls his eyes and mutters something incoherently. “Just the lawn for two months,” he decides.

“Gal!” Jaz whistles.

I swallow. “Fine! Happy? And make sure you tell Benji I said he’d be okay, got it? And don’t help him with his schoolwork,” I add sharply. “And no candy!” I run off to Jazz, thinking if Caleb dared help with his schoolwork, he’d find out Benji’s learning problems but no one helps him figure it out like I do. And candy makes him hyper for about two hours and then he’s miserable and moody.

“Took you long enough. Who you talking to?” She asks. The sun had been in her eyes and she hadn’t seen him that good, thank goodness.

“No one. Just some kid in Calculus who wanted to ask a question. Are you ready? I have somewhere to be at dinner and all, so…” I trail off.

“I’m ready!” She shrieks and heads to her car. I can’t help but look back to see Caleb trudging out with a friend, joking and messing around. I can’t believe I just did this, how could I? And what will Benji think? I chew on my lip. “Daaaaarliiiing, I’m waaaaaitiiiiiing!”

I roll my eyes but can’t help the smile. “Yeah, yeah, missy, I’m in.”

Shopping… almost distracts me. But not enough. I keep worrying about Benji but there’s no way to find out now. I almost curse why I don’t have Caleb’s number and then it’s DUH in my face and I slap myself.

“Hey, Kiley, you okay?” Jaz asks. “You’re so distracted and you keep slapping yourself.”
“Not anymore than normal,” I joke, covering it up. I swallow and change the subject. “So what do you think of this?”

It’s a small black dress with a laced bodice and ribbons at the end. “That is so you!” She gasps. “Get it, and you better wear it to the next school dance!”

I roll my eyes. “Jaz, no one goes to those anymore.”

“Au contraire, ma petite,” she grins. “I do!”

“That’s cause you’re the freak,” I mutter under my breath, walking back into the dressing room to get in my normal clothes.

“I heard that!” She sings to me.

“No you didn’t!” I return.

The dress was seriously on sale so I buy it, along with a suit jacket and fingerless black lace gloves. Or Halloween will work, since it’s next month and all…

“Anywhere else?” Jaz asks.

I shake my head. “It’s late, Jaz. Sorry to cut it short, but you need to give me more planning time, next time, kay? Could you take me home now?”

“Mmmmhmm….” She stares as one guy passes, and then grabs my hand and we leave. We spend the ride home yelling out the lyrics by Senses Fail and finally, my house.

I wave as she leaves, then hurry over to Caleb’s and knock on their door furiously. The door opens… to reveal whatshername, Caleb’s mom? “Uh… hi,” I smile. “Um, is my little brother here? Benji?”

“Oh yes!” She smiles. “So you’re Kiley. They just got back, mind you. Caleb took them to get ice cream after they helped unload some packages,” she explains. “Come on in and I’ll go get him.”

I follow her gingerly towards the kitchen, chewing my lip nervously. Benji is laughing with the little kids and Caleb making funny faces- and stops, seeing me. His face tightens a little and he only nods my way. I return the nod. “Hey Benji,” I turn to him. “You ready to go?”
“Do I have to?” He asks pitifully.

I look at him in surprise. He’s never… done that before. “Uh, um. Benji… you…” I scratch my head and see everyone’s staring at me. I nearly wince. “Um, your schoolwork, remember?”

“Can’t he do that later?” The other kid pleads with me.

I don’t… my heart beat speeds a little. This is… completely new to me. I don’t want to be mean to the kids, since they’re having a great time, but… his homework and all… “Uh, um, well,” I stutter. I glance at the mother. “I… guess. Um… but you’ll have to return soon, kay?” I clear my throat. “When you guys are ready for dinner then you can send him back,” I mumble to the mom.

“Oh, he- would you both like to stay for dinner? I’m making my popular pasta salad,” she offers.

My stomach almost growls. I have this complete obsession with pasta salad, how did she know?! But… I glance at Caleb. “That…um, it’s nice, but… I have to go… work,” I finish lamely. “And clean.”

She looks almost disappointed and I feel a tinge of guilt. “So, yeah. Sorry. Um… I guess you can send Benji over whenever, then. But not too late,” I add quickly. “I have to be the one to help him with his schoolwork.”

“Oh, alright. Well, then I suppose you’d better go,” She says sympathetically. “Caleb, walk her out,” she instructs.

She turns just in time to not see our faces of loathing towards each other. She leaves the room. “Don’t bother,” I mutter, flicking some hair out of my eyes. “I have to go.”

I hear him sigh as I turn and head out. I hear footsteps following and don’t turn till I reach the front door. Caleb. I raise an eyebrow. “My mom,” He says bluntly.

“Whatever,” I mutter and start to leave. I hesitate before he shuts the door. “And…” I close my eyes and hate myself. He’s waiting with the usual stupid cockiness. “Thanks, ugly,” I mutter and run off before he can send me a retort.

I hurry inside, banging my hand on the doorframe. Mom’s working on the vacuuming so I run up to my room to do my homework and hang up my new clothes.

An hour and a half later, it’s just past seven and I head down. Gerald and mom are dancing to some old music and take no notice of me. I grab a banana and granola bar and run back to my room. Forty minutes later, Benji knocks on my door.

“I’m back,” he says.

“A’ight, bud. Just gimme a minute,” I mutter, working on a hard math problem. I sigh.
“You… aren’t mad, are you?” His little voice asks.

I turn in surprise. “Mad?” I repeat and he’s looking down, sitting on my bed. “Ben, why would I be mad?”

“I wanted to be there,” he mutters.

“Hey, hey, don’t give me that,” I order. “You’re allowed to have friends, okay? I was just surprised. But I’m happy, okay? About you having a friend. And you aren’t mad at me, for not picking you up, right?” I ask quickly.

He shakes his head. “Caleb’s cool,” he says suddenly.

“Oh really?” My voice hardens a little, but he takes no notice and goes into a detailed explanation how everything went without me. Caleb this, Caleb that, and Devin… who must be the other little guy. “That’s awesome,” I finally interrupt his rant. “I’m glad your time rocked. But you know what? It’s getting late and we need to work on your homework, little man. Are you read?”

He makes a face but nods and we proceed to spend the following hour working on it. By then, he was tired but I still made him bath, clean up, and then he could go to bed. I still had another hour of schoolwork, leaving me exhausted.

So yeah, homework BITES.