P.S. I Hate You

I'm woken up... by being poked. I grunt and peak an eye open. Benji's looking at me worried. "I thought you were dead," he says solemnly.

I sigh. "Benji, I sleep like the dead but that's something totally different, kay? No worries. And what are you doing here?"

He points at the time. "FLIPPING DUCKS!" I screech and run out for a five-minute shower, change into t-shirt with eyeballs, jeans I keep scribbling on, and I grab a beanie for my still wet curling hair. "Got everything?" I demand of Benji, trying to put on my mascara as I shove everything into my school bag. I see him nod. "Good. Grab something for the go and I'll be there in a second." I wrap a few chains around my arms, put on my shoes and hurry downstairs.

"Thanks, little man," I mutter when he offers me a cold piece of pizza. It'll have to do. "Time's a-racing, come on. Bye!" I call out and get two waves from the adults before we walk out. "I really need a car, don't I?" I sigh, trying to wring out the rest of my water from my hair. The school isn't that far away, but it's the traffic that causes the problem.

"Like Caleb!" Benji cries with a grin.

As though on cue, his car passes by. "Speak of the devil, and he shall appear," I mutter, glaring. I see the other kid- Devin?- waving. I roll my eyes. "Come on, we have to hurry," I call to Benji who's already lagging behind. Finally we reach his school. "You have fun and I'll be back- on time- and thanks for waking me up." I blow a kiss. "Rock the school, kid!" He grins, waves, and disappears in the crowd of midgets. I hurry off to my classes, wincing when I recall my bruise- my bag is just light enough to keep banging against my bag.

-----

I reach class too late and need a tardy slip. It cracks the teachers up, but I don't get why. And even though schools 'just started' they all think we need to go in depth, so in each class, I have at least three chapters, a few random charts and few papers to write. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!

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"I nominate my hamster to be the new principle!" Levi cries at lunch. A few kids who hear him laugh. Jaz is very quick to second the motion and the two begin to loudly plot how to get rid of the principle and install Chuckles Atticus Morgaine the Third. Levi doesn't even know where he got that name. But we all call him Chuck.

"Party this Friday!" Rhea loudly whispers as she runs to our table, late again. "At the Sorenson's. Who's up for it?" She looks at us brightly. A few shrug and the others nod. Then to me. "You too? I can give you a ride, if need be," she offers.

"Yeah!"

"You gotta go!"

"Der, you missed the last one!"

"We'll drag her!"

"Please??"

The table voices their pleas. I chew on my lip. "Um... I... should be able to... maybe?" I offer. I haven't exactly left Benji in the house since... well, not since last school year. I dragged him everywhere during the summer, or shipped him off to his friends' or our cousin's. They all stare curiously and some glare. "Fine!" I say, acting offended. "If it means that much, pick me up at eight-thirty, gorgeous."

"You'll love it, love," she winks, plopping it down. "I'm so stoked and just bought this adorable top, guys!" She keeps talking and we all listen or have our own conversations or concentrate on our food.

-----

School finally ends, thank goodness. Or at least, for me. I have the time to finally just take my time and walk to Benji's school. I also read some of Catcher in the Rye for English. I've read it three times and still think its... hm. Okay, I haven't actually made up my mind. I get caught up and enjoy it while I'm reading it, but when I finish it? I hate it. Oh well....

Reaching his school, I munch on a nutrition bar I never finished at lunch and he finally comes out. "Hey, kid," I call out with a wave. We start walking and I see Caleb pass by finally and- gives me the finger.

I yell out a very inappropriate word, putting my hands over my bro's ears just in time. We're still close enough to the elementary school that I receive a dirty look from some safety person in one of those hideous tacky orange vests.

"Mind if we stop by a few places first?" I ask Benji. He shrugs. I take that as a yes and start on another route.

-------

The 'errands' were filling out applications to get a job because I obviously really need one. I'm not big on babysitting or anything any more, so... I need another source of income besides my parents money. And college, anyone? I couldn't possibly get in with a scholarship so I have to start on something. I asked for applications, even if they weren't hiring. I filled out about ten, thanked each person, and finally dragged Benji home.

------

Mother was pacing when we entered the house. "Where have you been?!" She shrieked, putting a hand over her heart as we entered. "I've been waiting forever!"

"More like an hour," I correct her, shoving my shoes off. "Why? Something going on?"

She glares at me and wraps Benji in a hug. "I was so worried something had happened! How did I not know you'd both been killed? Missing? Kidnapped? I had no idea where you two were!"

I roll my eyes. "Like anyone would kidnap us? There's no reason to," I shrug.

She glares. "You! I thought you'd be smarter than this! At least calling to let me know, would have been helpful! My nerves- I almost had a breakdown, you know! Kiley, I just can't believe you'd do this! Haven't I taught you anything about responsibility? Do I have to ground you?"

I think that was meant to be threatening.

But it just made me want to laugh. Even though my mom looked furious.

"You don't have any problems with your nerves," I tell her pointedly.

She's nearly shaking. "Well, I just might now! I hope you're happy!" She throws up her hands, walking around in circles. "What's happened?" She finally hisses to me.

I turn from toasting a bagel. I look at her blankly. "Huh?"

"You never, ever used to be like this! Wearing black, listening to- to that static, and now this? The lack of responsibility!" She bursts.

I roll my eyes. "Derrrrr," I joke but it's not so humorous. "Hm. Might've come about when Gerald starting hurting Benji and somebody had to be there to stop him. How's that for responsibility?" I spit, glaring at her.

She pulls her in her chin. "I- I don't know what you're talking about."
I snort, ready to laugh. "Yeah, cause this is as easy to read as roadkill, mother dearest." I stare at her in disgust. "I'm the one who's watching out for squirt, here, kay? You're always cooking the most obscene meals or frantically cleaning the house, why I'm the one who's standing up and watching out for what's more important here. Benji. So you know what? Don't ever talk to me about your stupid theory of responsibility again. It's just ridiculous." I start up the stairs, where Benji's already escaped. I pause, feeling bad a little. "But if it makes you feel better, next time we're going to be gone longer, I'll try to remember and call."

Benji's not in my room or his and it only takes me a second to figure out where he is. There's another spare bedroom, next to mine, where the garage is beneath. He's got his legs tucked up to his knees on the roof. I shut the door and climb out the window, next to him.

"You okay?" I ask him.

He nods silently. I nod back and we just watch cars pass for a little while in the quiet evening.