P.S. I Hate You

On Friday morning, I manage to wake up on time. That may because I went to bed on time… oh crud- I only helped Benji with his, and… nothing to mine. I groan, shoving a pillow over my head and screaming in it.

It doesn’t make the situation leave, unfortunately. Which sucks.

I stumble out of bed and run in and out of the shower in five minutes, trying to brush my teeth, change, and read part of my book all at the same time. I think I formulate another four bruises for my clumsiness during that. Then I realize my clothes don’t match- dark purple skinny pants and bright green T with words about saving earth. I glance in the mirror. Then I decide I don’t care, add a rainbow belt and scarf to my still soaking hair, and I’ll have to call it good. I work on my mascara while writing out some formulas and wear two different pairs of converses.

Today must not be my day. Again.

Benji stares at me when I come out. “Yeah, I know,” I groan. “But I don’t have the time. Did you eat?” He shakes his head. “Well, you go do that and then we can head out.”
He heads off and I try to write a poem I was supposed to write. In a hurry, I scramble one out and don’t even go over it. My grades are already sinking to all D’s, it can’t get much worse. I have to run around my room, trying to collect everything I need and realize my bruise on my back still hasn’t gone away- it hurts every time I bend over and so I have to try to reach the floor without bending my back. Awkward, anyone?

“Ready to go?” Gerald beams when I finally trot down. We’re two minutes off course.
“Uh, yeah?”
He nods. “I’ll take you two today, so you won’t be late.”

I blink. “Um, okay, then.”

“I’ll be out waiting and you two just hurry up,” he winks at Benji who stares back blankly, eating his cereal.

Mother’s dusting already, humming to herself. Talk about weird. Almost seems… normal. I shake my head, getting it out of my head. Right. Food. Need food. I shove some chips, soda, and cold pizza in a bag to eat for lunch, and then eat a pop tart for breakfast, heading out the door with my brother.

Gerald gets all friendly, asking how school’s doing and all. I’m just lucky we aren’t getting our grades yet. Sort of. It might be good to give them out when he’s all happy-slappy here, you know? Still, I’m glad to jump out of the car, looking for some pals.

Misty’s there, on the edge of the field, sketching something. I join her and we chat a little about random things, like the new movie that came out. She’s already seen it. I haven’t, with Benji and all… I wave goodbye as the bell rings, and sigh to myself. Benji. He needs protection more than I need that sort of fun. You know, like shopping, parties, and movies. I think deep about it on the way to class and Jaz springs up.

“Whoa, missy, what’s on your back?” She asks.

I glance up. “Hm? Oh… nothing much. Just the next quiz,” I lie with a shrug. They can’t tell when I’m lying, I’ve gotten so good at it. I can’t decide if that’s good or not.

“Quiz?” She looks at me blankly. “Holy monkies in a bucket, what quiz?”

I raise an eyebrow. “Um, the quiz… in, uh… English. Next week, right? I’m so caught even now, I’ll never get ready for that.” I hate keep telling these lies. Sometimes I’m so tempted to tell them- but why should I? It’s not like they could help me. And I don’t want to burden them or anything.

“Ooooh, that quiz. Oh my gosh, you’re right- they said it would count for part of our grade!” She gasps.

I snort. “Der. Every quiz counts for part of our grade.” Still, that gets my heart sinking like the titanic. English is good and all, but without any studying for what will be on the quiz, I could easily fail that… like everything else.

We reach our classes and meet up at lunch. It’s nice missing P.E. Gotta love that. I pick up Benji and we walk on home. There, I have a phone message saying I probably got one of the jobs I applied for, and they want me to come in tomorrow. I write that down and hurry up to help Benji with the report he needs to work on.

I think it’s sadistic how they come up with homework for the weekends. I mean, hello, weekends are supposed to be fun. If you could call going to a party, that… at seven, I do a quick rinse and change into the black dress I bought, along with some slim black boots and biker jacket that carries a red stripe on the sleeves.

Then I have a quick chat with Benji. “I’m going out tonight, okay? And… you’re going to stay here. Gerald was going to stay late at the office, remember? And mother’s in her room, reading, if you need her. If Gerald… you know. Lock the door. If you aren’t up here, then get out, and go over to… uh, Devin’s house, understand? If they aren’t home or don’t let you in…” I hesitate. “Call this,” I tell him, handing him my cell. “You turn it on, then push this button. It’s speed dial for my friend’s phone, and she can give it to me, and I’ll hurry home, okay? You should be safe,” I tell him. “If you get bored, go watch a movie, eat some ice cream. Go to bed early, and lock the door. I have the only other key, and it’s in my purse. You’ll be safe,” I repeat.

He hesitates, and nods. There’s a horn beeping and I run outside to join my friend crowding in the convertible. We laugh and joke the whole way there.

I get in and wander around. Beer by the pool, pot in the trees, unsafe in any bedroom, smelly in the bathrooms. Yep, got it clear. I get a few whistles and cleverly ignore them, just dancing with Misty, and maybe some of the others. Jaz comes over during one song. “Come on, we’re going swimming!” She grins.

“Ha, no,” I reply firmly, still shaking to the beat. “Go have fun and let me know when you do something a little less sick,” I grin and rolling her eyes, my friend leaves. I get pushed a little now and then in the crowd, but its like everyone else and I just ignore that.

Worn out, I finally head to the kitchen for something to drink. I empty a plastic cup and after rinsing it a few times, I just drink some tap water, since it’s safest. Then I head off to another room. Big mistake- this is where the others are smoking.

And so maybe, yeah, I have sensitive lungs or eyes or whatever, but I swear it was worse than smog or fog or whatever- you could barely see or anything. My eyes immediately started to burn. I rub them with a groan but it doesn’t help. I try to get across, but step on a few toes of protesting people. Lazy butts don’t even move to help me. I pause to drink some water but it’s just inhaling smoke.

I feel like I need to sneeze, but I start coughing, and lean against the wall for support. Someone comes over, offering me a cigarette and I just wave him or her away. “Just fine,” I mutter but inhale more smoke. Great. Now my lungs are burning. I try more water but it doesn’t help. I think it makes it worse.

I feel myself grabbed by the elbow as I have another coughing fit. My eyes swell with tears from stinging as I go through the rooms and reach the front porch. After a minute the coughing goes down, as does the watering eyes. I sniff, sitting on the steps. That’s better. “Uh, thanks about-” I start to whoever, looking up.

Caleb.

I cut my self off short. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “Say again?” He says with false politeness.

I glare up at him. “You heard me, now go away.”

“No, really, please.”

“I was fine,” I snap. “Now get your butt out of here.”

He smirks. “You call that fine?” I scowl. But my mind is gone with comebacks, which sucks. What to say, what to say…!! “Right, I’ll remember it next time, little Smoky,” he grins and struts off.

I hate him so much.

I sit on the steps, my chin in my hand that rests on my knees. My head is pounding from the coughing fit I had. Such evil, the smoking. I don’t get why people like it so much. Well- properly, they’re sucking. They suck. Heh. But the cigarette does the smoking, right? They’re sucking on the piece of crap. Therefore, smokers suck. I feel like a genius.
My head still hurts. I sit there alone for a little while until Sable and Regan come over and keep me some company. We crack all these funny jokes which aren’t really funny but we get sort of hyper and just goof around. Then Jaz comes over. “Uh, Kiley? Did you give a little kid my number?”

I swear, my heart nearly stopped beating. “Yes, hand over,” I say immediately, standing. She looks at me curiously, handing it over to me. “Benji?” I ask, walking away from everyone so they won’t hear. “What happened? Are you okay? Where are you?”

I can hear him breathing and he hesitates. “I’m scared,” he finally admits.

“What? Benji…” I moan pitifully. “It’s going to be okay, I promise. Is it Gerald? Where are you? I’m coming home right now.” I tell him quickly.

“No, it…” he doesn’t know how to explain. “The ‘lectricity doesn’t work. Mother left before…”
“Is Gerald there?” I furrow my brow, glancing around nervously. Have to make sure no one hears.

“No, not yet. And, Kiles? Um… I’m at Devin’s.”

That brings me up short. “Devin’s?” I almost feel like I’m being replaced… it sort of hurts. “What? Why? What did his mom say? What happened?”

“I got scared, so I went over and they said I could stay. Is it okay? I’m scared of the dark,” he says pitifully. “Are you coming soon?”

“Fine, fine,” I sigh, running my hands through my hair. “I’m coming, Benji. I’ll be home in a few minutes. Don’t you worry.” We hang up and I head over to return the phone. “Heading home?” I ask them hopefully.

They all laugh. I guess that’s a no. I sigh and talk around, seeing if anyone’s going yet. I hear someone say how Caleb said he was… so I decide to walk home. I clutch my jacket closer, as I walk. I’ve got this feeling how someone’s following me but I don’t turn back.
It’s only a few miles from my house, thank goodness. Annoying, yes, but I have to do something. Finally it’s annoying me way too much and I spin around, freaked out and upset.
It’s a car. And familiar.

“You have to be kidding me!” I cry, spinning my hands in the air. He’s smirking, looking all comfortable in his seat. I march over. “Do you think that’s funny, freaking me out?” I demand as the window rolls down a little.

“Yes,” He smirks.

I scowl. “Well it’s over, so leave me alone!” I turn and start walking again. He sticks with the same speed- which is very, very slow. Ugh.

“You walk like a snail, you know that, right?” He calls out.

“Great, now I can die happy,” I retort sarcastically. “Didn’t I tell you to go away?”

“Did I ever say I’d listen?” He returns it.

I really hate that smirk. I’m so tempted to cut it off…

We argue a ton more- which is distracting and I nearly fall on my face five times, and he laughs at them all. Finally, he suggests something that I could put him in the loony bin for, it’s so crazy. “Duckies, Shiloh, just get in my car already, or you’re going to kill yourself before you get back to Benji.”

Firstly, I stop short. “You heard me on the phone?”

“Nooo,” he draws it out. “I just knew you wouldn’t go home early for some other reason.” He gives me a look. “Are you getting in?”

“No.” I respond immediately, not even thinking about it.

He rolls his eyes. “It’s faster, it’s safer, and I promise not to hurt you physically. Now just get in already.”

“No. You might kill me.”

“Didn’t I already say…?”

“That means nothing,” I tell him. “And why should I trust you?”

He groans. “You shouldn’t, okay? But enough to just get in the freaking car, so just get in!” He demands.

“No.” Comes the automatic response with a blank face.

“Now!” He demands.

Silently I slip in and the glare turns from me, making me feel a tiny bit safer than a minute ago. That guy really does have issues. What would happen if I suggested some help, like anger management? I swear, he might’ve just attacked me.

We’re silent the whole ride home and kindly enough, he parks right at his door. I backtrack, wondering if he knew about Benji… he obviously doesn’t, when I see his face and go up to his door after he parks outside. “What are you doing?” he asks.

“Waiting for you to let me in,” I say simply.

“Why would you get in?” He asks suspiciously, slowly coming up and playing with his keys.
“Electricity is out,” I say.

“And…?”

It’s fun messing with him, but I spose I need to send over a straight answer. “Benji’s over here,” I roll my eyes. “Come on already.”

He grunts, still eyeing me suspiciously and actually lets me in first. He tries the lights but they don’t work. Then his mother’s voice comes in. “Caleb? Oh, good- you’re home. I’m afraid the small area lost all electricity.”

He glances at me and I smirk. His mother keeps talking. “Oh, and we have Benji over. Could you come help us with the matches, dear?”

He sighs, entering and I follow after.