When Hope Begins to Fade

“Matt, I lied.” Amber’s voice was small and shaky as she spoke that night. Her heart rate had increased with the anxiety of having to tell Matt the whole truth. He stiffened and turned to look at her, a sudden feeling of anxiety sitting in.

“Oh God, about what Amber?” There was a million different scenarios running through his mind but two had come to the front. The first being about Aaron and the second being about when he’d confronted her about being pregnant.

“When we were fighting yesterday about what has been going on with me. Well I told you about the trip but that wasn’t all. The truth is other than keeping that from you, fearing the reaction of my mom and aunt when I told them I don’t want to be a permanent part of the store, and hiding what Kellan was planning from Alyce, I’ve had a bad feeling lately. I got it a few weeks ago when all of this started. I’d already had the bad feeling when I overheard my dad talking about how Aaron might be being released soon. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you.”

“I knew that there had to be something else. I can’t say anything though because I found out something like that too and didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to upset you if you didn’t already know. From now on though I vote that we tell each other everything because this was a disaster.”

With a small laugh and a nod Amber agreed. Now that she wasn’t hiding anything else from Matt she relaxed again.

***

While mumbling a string of curse words under her breath Amber walked into the house she’d called home for so long. Just inside the door and she could already hear several different voices coming from the dinning room. Matt’s simple good luck from that morning rang in her mind again. It would take all of her self-restraint not to place Aaron in the hospital today.

The closer she got to the dinning room the easier it was for her to make out the different voices. The first one was her father's, the next was that of Mr. Marshall, her mother’s, Mrs. Marshall, Aaron, and finally another female voice that she didn’t recognize. Just as she was preparing to enter she heard Lisa, who was obviously talking to Esme. With a deep breath she stepped into the dinning room and a silence fell over everyone.

After being greeted by her parents, sister, and Mr. and Mrs. Marshall, she took a seat. She hadn’t said a word that was even slightly directed at Aaron or take notice in the redhead seated at his side. Acting as if he simply did not exist would make him far more angry than any snide comment she could make.

“Amber this is Vivian, my girlfriend. Vivian this is Amber Davis.” He finally spoke, turning everyone’s attention towards the three of them.

“Hello Vivian. If you are smart you will dump this piece of trash on his ass right now before you get hurt. And for you Aaron there is only one thing I have to say to you, bite me.” Lisa quickly coughed to hide her laugh when her sister spoke.

“See Viv,” Aaron began as he swung an arm around Vivian’s shoulders. “I told you that she requires some Anger Management services.” Mr. Marshall slapped his son upside the head and Anthony took a deep breath.

“The only service I need,” Amber said, being careful to keep her cool. “Is a pest control service.” She smirked as Lisa burst into laughter. Vivian sighed and shook her head while Aaron glared at his enemy.

Amber had a plan this time around. After evaluating her approach last time she’d concluded this time would require a slightly different strategy. Now that she wasn’t hiding her relationship with Matt from anyone she could focus more thoroughly on how to expose Aaron for what he was. She’d learned long ago that if she kept her cool while spitting insults at him he lost his temper much faster and made himself look like the jackass he really was.

“Amber there is a pitcher of ice tea and some glasses in the kitchen, would you go get them for us?” Anthony asked, earning a nod from Amber.

“I’ll help.” Aaron stood up, smiling down at Vivian. Anger suddenly gripped Amber but she ignored it and took a few deep breaths.

“I didn’t need any help.” Her reaction was close to what could be called a growl as they entered the kitchen. The way the light was shinning in it gave her a strange feeling of déjà vu, back to a time when they were only 16 and fighting in this very kitchen.

“I’m shocked, you didn’t say anything about my unexpected visit to your apartment. I was fully expecting for you to have a long speech prepared to recite in front of everyone. By the way Vivian is on my side, she believes that I have changed. I’ve also convinced her it was illness that made me do all those horrible things. She hates your guts.” He backed her against the counter and smiled, making her feel as if she’d be sick. “So are you ready to accept that this time I won’t screw things up and that you will be mine?”

“Here is the one little detail you forgot while you were away. I’m smarter, sneakier, and far more capable than you are. This time around I will tear you down, piece by piece. You won’t come off looking like a little angel anymore you no good asshole, this time you will be the one looking like a total bastard.” She raised her hand and slapped him across the face, hard enough to cause him pain but not hard enough to leave a mark. “Let the games begin.” She grabbed the tray that held the glasses and added the pitcher to it before leaving him standing alone in the kitchen.

“I hear Alyce is engaged now. I couldn’t help but wonder how Amber felt about that when I first heard. The truth is I always thought that she’d be settled down before Alyce.” Aaron spoke up half an hour later, the first thing he’d said that involved her since their little discussion in the kitchen.

“Well you never were the sharpest tool in the shed. Why would I feel anything other than happiness for them? She is my best friend for God’s sake. If you were expecting me to be jealous or some other bullshit then that only proves how little you know.” Amber took a drink from her glass and looked over at Lisa.

“I have an idea! Why don’t we invite all the families together for a dinner tomorrow night, for old time’s sake. Both sides even!” Anthony was blissfully unaware of what both his daughters still saw in Aaron. He didn’t feel comfortable having him around his daughters yet, but for the sake of his friends he wouldn’t act differently towards him.

“That is a great idea!” Mr. Marshall agreed, excitement lighting up his eyes. Aaron sent a smirk in Amber’s direction and she groaned internally. She attended two family dinners a year now and wasn’t looking to increase that number any time soon.

Lisa suddenly leaned over, resting her head against her sister’s shoulder. She too only attended two or three dinners a year since she’d turned 18. Very quietly she let out a sigh of disappointment and squeezed her eyes closed.

With deep and even breaths, Amber thought about the fact that she had later that night to look forward to. Alyce was convince that the two of them needed to hang out and had instructed Lisa to meet them there. Keeping the plan in mind she glanced towards the clock, smiling when she saw the time. “Well I have to leave. Bye mom, dad, Mr. Marshall, Mrs. Marshall. See you later Lisa.”

She was halfway home when it finally sunk it. Now that everything she’d hidden from Matt was out in the open she felt as if a weight had lifted from her shoulders. Stopping the car at a red light she made a mental note to never keep anything else from him. Now the only unfinished business was to get rid of Aaron again.

Matt was already home when she walked through the door. He was trying to send a signal to her to make her look towards the kitchen but she didn’t get it. “Matt what are you trying to say? I don’t speak eye movements.”

A yell of “charge” filled the place seconds before Amber felt someone jump on her back. Stumbling forward, Amber had to grab onto the back of the couch to keep from falling over. Alyce laughed and detached herself from Amber’s back, extremely pleased with herself that she had pulled it off that well.

“What in hell is wrong with you?” Amber stared at her best friend with wide eyes and a frown. Alyce put her best innocent and pouty face, turning it up to full volume. Glancing between the two Matt chuckled and looked away.

“You know it was funny!” Amber rolled her eyes at Alyce and sat down on the couch. “What are you doing sitting down? We are going out tonight remember! There is no time for you and lover boy to be all mushy, gushy, and cuddly! So lets go before you start to get that way!”

While grinning up at her friend Amber slid closer to Matt, grabbing onto his arm. The smile on Alyce’s face faded as she watched the two sit there. After three minutes of silence she grabbed onto Amber’s ear lobe and pulled. “Ow! Ouch! Ow! Alyce let me go! This is so not fair! Ow!”

“I will return her soon Matt.” Clamping her hands around Alyce’s wrist, Amber made sure that she dug her nails in. As they reached the door Alyce let out a small scream of pain and released Amber’s ear lobe. “You little!”

“Well you asked for it! Pulling me by the ear lobe, geeze Alyce. Why didn’t you find a club, knock me out, and then drag me out of here by my hair?”

“Because I hadn’t even thought of that! Just be glad that I didn’t pull where your earrings are.” Alyce laughed as Amber mumbled a string of curses just before the door clicked closed.

Even though Alyce thought that she was capable of pulling one over on Amber she was wrong. From the second that she had told Amber they were going out that night Amber had known where. As Alyce drove towards the destination Amber was lost in thought.

Things just didn’t fit. The stress would have accounted for her exhaustion, since she’d been waking up at all hours of the night because of it. It shouldn’t have accounted for the nausea though. It just didn’t make a bit of sense to her.

“Here we are! Oh look, Lisa is on time!” Alyce’s voice broke through Amber’s thoughts, that seemed to be playing on loop.

Amber nodded and simply responded with “Mhhhuhh.” Removing the seat belt she felt a sudden feeling of familiarity. She was back at the place that she’d spent so much time with Matt when they had to hide. She was back where she didn’t want to be.

“So this is where you two would spend all your time?” Lisa asked as Alyce turned on all the lights. With a nod of her head Amber went to take a seat. The dust floated around in the air as Lisa looked around, not wondering why her sister hadn’t said a word.

“Yeah this is it. We’d turn all the lights on and crank the stereo system. Sometimes we actually bowled, other times we just sat here and talked and or goofed off. The good old days. What is wrong with you Amber?” Alyce turned a worried look toward her best friend, who was just staring at the lanes.

“The good old days Alyce? Maybe they were for you and Kellan. For Matt and I they were a living hell. Seriously Alyce we were hanging out here because we were hiding from my dad and Aaron and everyone other member of the any of the families. Now surprise, surprise the thing is back and I feel like my life is falling apart all over again.” Amber allowed her head to fall back, leaving her staring at the ceiling.

A silence fell over the three and it quickly grew awkward. Amber hadn’t moved an inch, she’d closed her eyes and took a sharp intake of breath but remained in the same spot. Lisa was looking around the bowling alley and trying to think of something to say. Alyce was just staring at the lanes as she waited for someone else to say something to break this silence. They all stayed that way for at least 15 minutes.

“I thought that girls night out were supposed to be fun. I mean shouldn’t we be bowling or something like giving manicures or pedicures?” Lisa glanced between the still not speaking best friends, praying that this would break the ice again.

“You are a genius Lisa! Do you think we should go to a salon or run and buy a kit?” Alyce’s face lit up as she thought of the possibilities. Amber just groaned.

“Doesn’t drinking fall under the category of something? You two can run and get a kit and I can get liquor.” Amber grinned as she succeeded in causing the other two to let out groans of agitation.

Seconds after closing her eyes Amber felt a hand grab each of her arms before they pulled her forward. There was a part of her that wanted to let her sister and best friend a have it, give them a piece of her mind, but decided not to do it. Maybe if I just stay silent then they’ll forget about me and it will be over sooner, she thought to herself.

Meanwhile, back at the apartment Matt was thinking about something that had been bothering him. This wasn’t the first time Matt had witnessed the toll that stress took on Amber, he had actually seen it many times before. In the past it had never actually made her sick though, it had drained her energy but never made her sick this way. He was beginning to question if Amber even knew what was really going on.

“It has to be something else, something that she doesn’t know about.” He mumbled to himself, convinced that had to be it. There wasn’t anything she’d changed recently though; her schedule was the same, she didn’t seem to be eating anything new, she hadn’t stopped eating anything recently either. That was when it dawned on him.

He walked directly to their refrigerator and pulled out the milk. With one sniff he detected something that smelled off. It didn’t smell as if there was anything wrong with the milk, and the sell by date was still a week away, but there was a small hint of slightly soured milk to it. He sat it on the counter and went to find Willow, the only way that he knew to test his theory.

The cat was in her usual spot, asleep in the middle of their bed. When Matt picked her up she admitted a small meow before yawning. “Amber can never know about this because she says that you can’t have milk unless it is pet milk.” He was quickly forming a plan in his mind on how to prove it to Amber if his theory was correct.

After setting Willow down on the kitchen floor he grabbed her “treat dish”, as Amber called it, and poured a little of the milk into it. When he sat it on the floor the cat leaned toward it and sniffed at it. She glared up at him and then lapped up a drink of it. The second she taste it she practically bounced away from it, complaining as she walked away from the dish.

Matt replaced the tampered-with milk in the refrigerator so that he could show Amber his discovery as he hit the speed dial on his cell. “Hello?”

“Jimmy, we’ve got a problem.”

***

“Come on Amber, we even have a blood red.” Lisa prompted, waving the bottle of nail polish in front of her sister’s face. Alyce pulled out a bottle of nail polish remover and waved it around as well.

“I said no.” Amber released a sigh and silently prayed that this would be the end of it. As she listened to Alyce and Lisa’s conversation it sank in how out of her comfort zone she was. They were discussing different color nail polishes, using the names printed on the sticker on the bottom of the bottle, as she thought about how much she wanted to go home.

“You feeling alright?” Alyce suddenly felt extremely worried about her friend, who wasn’t really moving or saying anything.

“I’m fine, just tired and out of my element.” Lisa laughed and shook her head, amused by her sister’s anti-nails stand.

“I’ll drive you home after my nails dry then. I can’t believe that you aren’t having fun or at least trying to have fun with this.” Alyce smiled sadly at Amber, hoping this would be the end of the unhappy atmosphere.

“Well next time you two decide that I need a girls night out I will drive myself. I’m sorry but this isn’t my idea of a good time that gets my mind off of things, at all. If you two are having fun then that is great you should hang out more often but this isn’t something that I classify as a night out.”

“So you’d rather spend all your time with your boyfriend instead of with us?” Lisa’s question slightly angered Amber but she refused to show it. With a groan she stood up and walked away from the pair.

“I don’t spend all my time with Matt. In fact I go months without seeing him at all. For the love of God Lisa you make it seem like I have no life outside my relationship with him. Maybe to you it looks like that but you have no idea what my life has been like lately so don’t start with your bullshit about how I spend all my time with him.”

“I think,” Alyce cut in before the sisters actually started fighting. “Amber is trying to say that she has just been dealing with everything being hectic lately.”

Amber rolled her eyes and shook her head. As far as she was concerned she didn’t need to explain herself to her younger sister. Lisa scoffed and went back to work on her nails. “Its alright Alyce, I’ll just call Matt to come get me.”

“No you won’t! I’m finished with this hand so I’ll take you now. I’ll be right back Lisa.” Alyce stood up, grabbing her purse as she did so. She smiled at Lisa and threw an arm around Amber’s shoulders as the two left.

***

Matt had just gotten home from the gym and out of the shower when he heard Amber’s key hit the door. Before he could walk into the living room he heard her keys hit the high bar and he knew that the night hadn’t went well for her. And its about to get worse, he thought as he entered the living room.

Amber was standing at the high bar, that separated their living room from the small kitchen, with her elbows propped onto it and her head in her hands. The light was reflecting off of her now solid black hair, she’d stopped streaking it a few months before, and he smiled. “Didn’t go well?”

“Lisa basically said that I have no life outside of you and I almost lost it. Even if that was true it wouldn’t be any of her damn business.” Matt could hear the sadness in her voice and place a hand on her back.

“It’ll be okay,” he was going to continue speaking but she turned around and just sighed. “That isn’t what is bothering you is it?”

“No! I’m so sick and tired of my family talking about how I live my life, or who I should live it with, what I should do, I thought we had got passed that five years ago!” Just as she finished she noticed the look of urgency in Matt’s eyes. “What happened?”

Matt backed up, fearing the impact it would have on her when she felt this way. “I didn’t want to spring this on you as soon as you got home but I guess I have to. It didn’t make sense that stress would actually make you sick. I’ve seen you stressed out many times before and it just didn’t fit. So I was thinking about any changes you’ve made or haven’t made lately; that is when I remembered that you always have a glass of milk in the morning. So I checked the carton.”

Amber’s face was twisted into a mask of complete confusion. “Matt listen to me, I have checked the date on everything I eat and I haven’t ate anything that was past its date. The milk is good for another week.”

“Yeah I know,” Matt walked toward the refrigerator, opening it and grabbing the milk. “But you don’t smell it before you drink it or have it in your bowl of cereal either, so I did. It isn’t completely spoiled but smell it.”

She took the carton from her boyfriend’s hands and opened it, taking a sniff of it. “It smells like there is a bit of spoiled milk mixed in. That isn’t possible.” Her worried eyes met Matt’s slightly angry ones.

“There is only one person who would want to make you sick Amber and he has already been in our apartment. He could have gotten in several times before then or he has someone working with him. It is the only thing that makes sense.”

“Except he has been in a mental hospital until a few days ago, so that means his girlfriend is helping him. That son of a bitch!” Amber tossed the tampered-with carton of milk into the sink and let the rage take over.

Matt just let her express her anger in a string of expletive names that were directed at Aaron and his girlfriend. “Amber we will get them just don’t show them that they are winning. I promise you that I’ll make sure they never do anything again just trust me.”

Unfortunately Amber was far past listening to reason. All she wanted was revenge against them, both of them. What she felt like doing was finding the two of them and taking out her anger on their faces. She hadn’t been this mad in years and she didn’t expect to ever be this mad again.

Pacing across the kitchen she formed a plan. Not only would she bring Aaron down she’d take Vivian with him. When she got done with them they’d be sorry, they’d beg her to go easy on them. Her fists clenched tighter and she felt as her nails threatened to break the skin of her palms, not that this made her try to control her anger.

Watching as Amber angrily paced he couldn’t help but think She is back and this time she’s gonna go for blood. For a second he thought about trying to get her to calm down but he knew that it was no use. The truth was he wanted revenge just as bad as she did and they would get it. “I’ll make them pay. I will make both of them pay. They have no idea who they are screwing with.” Matt just smiled at his girlfriend’s words and nodded.