Something That Makes Me Whole

Orchid POV

"Beep...beep...beep..." Urgh, annoying beeping, piss off "...beep...beep...beep..." why won't someone turn off that damn beeping?! Slowly, and very groggily, I reached an arm out, trying to find the damn alarm and shut it up. Ouch, stretching my arm out hurts then. Suddenly I heard whispering, followed by the sound of a closing door as a hand took hold of mine and another began sweeping my hair back from my sticky face.

"Orchid?" A voice said softly. I recognised that voice. But that damn beeping was still there! And pain was slowly seeping into my body. "Orchid." The voice said again and I realised it was Brian.

"Urgh, turn the alarm off." I mumbled, reluctant to open my eyes since I was comfy, apart from the pain. But I could still feel Brian brushing my hair away. I assumed it was Brian anyway; just 'cause he was talking didn't necessarily mean it was him doing so, though why would more than two people be sharing a bed?

The beeping was driving me insane now so I let my eyes open, regretting it when I found myself staring straight up into some very bright lights. I closed my eyes instantly to block it out since it hurt. It seemed to dull a little so I slowly, testing it, opened my eyes. The light had been moved from directly above me now.

I blinked a few times to get my eyes to focus and the first thing I saw was Brian and yes, it was him stroking my hair. I took in the rest of my surroundings seeing some recliners and a table with paper and colouring pens scattered all over it over near a window with it's blinds drawn. A little wooden cabinet sat on the other side of the bed to Brian with a get well card, a vase of flowers and a jug of water resting a top of it. Actually there was a lot of flowers and cards.

Studying myself I saw I had tubes sticking out the back of both hands and my nose, attached to the various monitors in the room. I was on a bed, raised up till I was half sitting, half laying with quite a few pillows under my head. Over me was a white bed cover and then a pale blue one only ever used in hospitals. As well as the hospital gown.

Oh God dammit what had I done to myself?

I looked at Brian, thoroughly confused. "What-" I stopped to cough which came out all chesty, making my body jerk and hurt even more, so much so that Brian moved round the bed and poured me a glass of water that I accepted gratefully. I took small sips, the cool liquid sliding down my dry, sore throat.

"Better?" Brian asked as he sat back down in the chair at the side of the bed.

I gave a small nod before closing my eyes briefly, then opened them again. "As I was going to say, what did I do to myself?"

"Do you not remember?" Brian's eyes looked worried.

"What happened to me?" I replied, knowing I sounded worried myself but not being able to hide it.

"You-" he stalled, his eyes looked pained, like he didn't want to speak the words "I can't say it. Someone else will but I can't."

"Please?"

"You were kidnapped." He said quietly.

Oh shit, maybe he shouldn't have said. I remembered fainting; I remember waking up and hearing both Brian and Felix yelling; I remember screaming as I was bundled into a car; I remember the car ride; I remember being tied up; I remember the house and the room; I remember him telling me I was his soul mate, how were both out casts and therefore meant to be together; I remember him letting me have one phone call; I remember the way Brian cried as he told me I would be okay; then...I don't remember.

"What happened after the phone call?" I questioned, my voice low as tears from the memories.

Brian gulped and looked away from me, shaking his head. "Brian." I urged, gritting my teeth to let him know I meant it.

"He...raped...you." He barely whispered.

I stared at him in shock. I began to shake my head. "No you're lying!" I yelled, my voice a higher note than normal and panicky, wetness spreading on the skin around my eyes. It was true but I didn't want it to be. "Don't say that Brian he didn't!"

"Yes, he did Orchid!" Brian retorted, his voice almost pleading, almost breaking. "Why do you think I didn't want to be the one to tell you?"

"Why can't it just be a lie?" I cried, knowing how my body had been abused by the psychotic guy. My skin crawled at the thought and I began frantically trying to rub it away. I would do anything to get his DNA off me. Brian grabbed my hands in his to stop me, looking straight into my teary eyes as I tried to sniff the trail of snot that was making a break for freedom.

"Let go of me!" I cried, too many memories coming back. He had grabbed my like that.

"Not until you calm down." He replied.

"I mean it Brian, pleease..." I cried, struggling in his grasp. "Don't hold my wrists."

I think he realised then because he instantly let go and gave me an apologetic look. He sighed, before reaching out slowly as if testing to see how I would react, before cupping my face gently in his hands. Then he stared straight into my eyes, making me feel relaxed.

"I'm sorry Orchid." He apologised.

"It's not your fault." I whimpered in reply. "You told me to be careful and I wasn't."

"I know, but I shouldn't have let you go." He whispered. "Regardless of what happened you were out of my protection in New York and I didn't like it. I couldn't look after you, couldn't keep an eye on you. Couldn't distract you with arguments because you weren't here you weren't...with me."

"What are you trying to say?" I frowned at him. "That my bodyguards weren't doing their jobs properly? They couldn't exactly stop the guy from deciding to stalk me and they certainly couldn't do anything when it was-"

"What I'm trying to say is that I'm not ever letting you out of my sight again, Orchid." He butted in. I stared into his eyes as they stared back.

"Huh?"

"I love you."

I gulped, pulling my head away so he couldn't touch me. "That's what, what h- he said." I whimpered.

Oh God dammit, why did it have to be those three words? Brian was upset and I could tell and it upset me too that right now I was too emotionally unstable to say it back.