Something That Makes Me Whole

I stumbled from my room, having spent the first night in ages in my own bed. And I was alone unlike some people. I'd hardly left my room the night before after my discussion with Brian since his face had gone all...down and I didn't want to see his sad features. Felix had just come into my room with ice-cream and Sarah and we sat chatting like back in the old days (old, ha!).

I moved the clothes that had been left on the floor so the place looked a bit tidier before making myself some toast and going back to my room to turn on the computer. Whilst it was booting up I studied the photos I had stuck around it; they were mostly of my brother and sister.

Suddenly I was wrenched away from my thoughts by a crashing sound followed by the sound of retching. "Brian?" I called out. There was no reply except for the continued sound of retching. I climbed to my feet and went to investigate.

Brian's bedroom door was open but nobody was in the kitchen or living room. I wandered over to the bathroom to find the door wide open and Brian leaning up the side of the bathtub with sweat on his forehead and his skin pasty. "Are you okay?" I asked, moving across to him.

"Orchid I'm fine." He insisted, waving me out of the room. Before he could say anymore he whirled around and emptied the contents of his stomach. I moved over to him and pulled back his hair from his face and rubbed his back.

"Brian you are not fine." I then said as I helped him to his feet; it felt odd having his arm around my waist instead of Jimmy's but odd in the good 'I'd-like-this-to-happen-far-more-often' way.

Then we manoeuvred him out and I guided him to my room so he could slump down on my bed. Which he did and covered himself with the quilt. "I can keep an eye on you in here while I work and don't say work on yours because it's all saved here, plus I don't want to look at your porn."

He smiled weakly and rested his head down on the pillows whilst I logged into MSN. I glanced at him and saw he had kicked the covers off, but had his eyes closed. I stood and went to get drinks. When I returned I had a plastic bowl on my head, a glass of water in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other.

Brian laughed at me and I figured it was my new headdress as I set my mug down then turned back to him. I put the bowl on the floor and the glass on the cabinet. Then I produced a thermometer from the waist band of my shorts, shook it and shoved it under his tongue. "If you need to puke, do it in the bowl. If you can that is." I smiled before taking the thermometer and looking at the reading. "Damn Haner, you've got a fever."

"I do not have a fever." He protested. "Just a stomach bug."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "Don't argue with me Brian." I said as I sat back at my desk. "You're ill."

"Yes, the model who accidentally went to 'become a medical professional 101'."

"Well at least you can still smart mouth people." I snapped sarcastically. We fell silent as I tapped away at my computer and he laid there in my bed. I left a few times to get myself some coffee and each time, Brian watched me leave and enter before closing his eyes again. He kept switching between covering himself up with the covers and kicking them off.

Bollocks did he not have a fever.

"Orchid, if you stick around you'll get it too." Brian finally mumbled after a while in which I think he had fallen asleep.

"You can't look after yourself."

"If we're both ill-"

"Why do you even care?" I asked, turning to look at him. "The only thing you care about is bedding everyone on your 'to fuck list' and Amber."

"I do care about things."

"Like?"

"My music. I care about that a lot."

"Jesus Brian." I said exasperated. "Why can't you just be the same guy you are when Amber's here? I like that Brian. That's the Brian I would happily get in bed with but when she's not here I just, I despise you some times. At the minute I really can't wait to go to New York."

"Oh."

There he was with that damn 'oh' again and sad features, so I turned back to my computer so I didn't have to look at him. "Jimmy wasn't happy about that article last night." He then said.

"Neither would you be if a magazine printed an article saying that the woman you're sleeping with is being linked with the guy she is living with who happens to be one of your mates."

He mumbled something that I didn't catch though I don't think I was supposed to hear it. Suddenly, for some unknown reason, I remembered he'd had a girl with him the night before.

I span around to see him with his eyes closed and his bare chest rising and falling steadily. For a moment I kinda froze, dreaming about laying beside him with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. I couldn't believe his heart had only ever beat for one person and she'd turned bitch on him. He could have any girl - he did have any girl - he just couldn't love them because of Kate. "Is Zoe-"

"Chloe." He mumbled as he turned on his side and shivered, not once opening his eyes; I stood and pulled the covers over him again.

"Chloe, Zoe whatever but is she still here?"

He nodded his head slightly and I left the room and strolled over to his own room, not really caring if she was naked. She was laid on his bed under the covers, but all her clothes were out in the other room because I had gathered them together earlier.

I grabbed something up off his floor, one his tops I guessed and hit her with it. She stirred then blinked up at me. "C'mon you gotta go. Romeo is ill and don't think of calling the room because he won't see you again. You were just an easy fuck. He's not your prince Charming."

The girl stared up at me and pushed her yellow-blonde hair from her face as she sat up and pulled on the top I had hit her with. Then she looked at me a bit more and blinked. Then her face made that annoying 'oh my God I recognize you' face. "You're Orchid-Rose Watson, aren't you?" She grinned at me.

"No shit Shirlock." Of course she would know; she was the type that religously read Vogue and didn't eat anything but rice cakes because they want to be super skinny like I was when I was anorexic because they think it looks attractive.

"Oh my God, you're like, my favourite model!" She giggled climbing from the bed to stand in front and five inches down from me. "When you did Gucci's summer collection last year you looked absolutely fabulous. You had the perfect skinny body, I'm aiming for a body like that."

"You mean last year when I almost died of anorexia?" I said raising my eyebrows in disbelief. "How could you be so fucking stupid!!!? I almost died because I was that skinny! Go eat some fucking food and stop with the rice cake diet you're fine, now leave! Your bits of string are by the door."

I stood there frowning and my chest heaving after my rant, listening as the door slammed closed and Brian started retching again. I leaned back against the wall, closed my eyes and sighed before going through to him.

I really couldn't wait for New York.