So Scared of Getting Older, I'm Only Good at Being Young

I could feel the heat rising to my face. No, it was not because I was embarrassed, it was because I was completely outraged!

My intentions were not to have these girls hate me. All I was trying to do was play the game, and if I’d win, I'd win—no big deal.

But this—this was so not how I was hoping things would turn out.

And the thing is, my whole life, I could never stand having people not liking me. I’ve just always been so insecure. Mainly because of that prick of a boyfriend I had when I was nineteen. He completely destroyed my self-esteem, and it’s pretty much been down in the dumps since then.

I didn’t know what I was supposed to do next. Part of me wanted to run into the room and yell at all of the girls . . . but the other part of me wanted to crawl into my bed, curl into a ball, and forget any of this happened.

I went with option number two.

When I got into my room I peeled off my clothes, put on some pajamas and crawled into my comfy bed.

~

“ELMININATION TIME, LADIES!” Alex’s loud voice boomed through the intercom system, waking me up.

I flung my covers off my body and jumped out of bed. Panic raced through my veins. Elimination was now. I had no time to change out of my pjs—which consisted of a loose white v-neck and blue plaid boy-shorts.

I decided not to change, even though I'd be going on national television in my pajamas.

I ran into the elimination room, obviously the last girl to get in there, if the icy glares I was receiving was any indication.

“Sorry I'm late,” I huffed, getting up on the stands. “I took a nap earlier and no one woke me up.”

Alex laughed, “Nice pajamas.” I gave him a look that said sorry. “Anyway, it’s time for elimination, ladies. Only one of you will be going home tonight. You better hope that someone’s not you.” He grabbed the first necklace out of the box. “Jamie, could you please come down here?”

Jamie, dressed to perfection in a black baby-doll dress and red high heels, made her way down to Alex.

“My little veterinarian,” he smiled at her, tapping her nose. “Would you please stay and be my girlfriend?”

“I wouldn’t dream of anything else,” she giggled as he placed the necklace around her neck. He gave her a quick kiss and she shuffled back onto the stands.

I looked at Jamie enviously. She was so pretty. And she was funny. Alex really liked her a lot. No way could I compete with her. No way.

Then I looked at all the other girls—the ones that wanted to get rid of me. No one wanted me here—well, besides Alex—and I didn’t even want to be here myself.

I knew what I was going to do—I knew what I had to do. I just wanted my life to be normal again. I couldn’t take this.

“Lynne,” Alex called my name. “Could you please come down here?” I slowly walked down to Alex. “Would you please stay and continue to be my girlfriend?”

I looked at him with tearful eyes, in fear of what I was about to say. “Um, Alex I’m sorry, but I c-can't stay.”

Alex’s brown eyes went wide, “W-what?”

“I-I can't stay,” I said quietly.

“Why not?” his voice broke.

I just shook my head and walked away. Because at that particular moment the tears in my eyes began cascading down my cheeks.

The truth was, I think I was starting to fall in love with Alex Gaskarth.