You May Hold Me but I Am Not Your Slave

The air was still. No crickets chirped. The smoke was settling. All the guests left. And everyone was stunned, shocked, or just staring at the palace ruins. The building that gave us safety just this morning was now lying in heaps. Where would we go?

“Fuck!” an angry roar ripped through the humidity. Gasps filled that cut as heads turned to look at Saul. He threw a slab of wood at a tree and let it shatter into a thousand pieces. “Damn it Daniel!” he cursed throwing himself onto his knees. He bent his torso over holding in his rage. We watched silently.

I took a deep breath and walked to the edge of the ruble, and stared into it. I saw something that made bile rise in my throat. I snapped my head back to look to see how many people were still alive. 10. I counted 10. I looked back at the burned face peeking out above the charcoaled wood, and then lifted my eyes to oversee the minefield. Bodies lay everywhere. Creatures and The Fallen toppled over each other, burnt to a crisp. I backed away from the scene when tears started forming. I couldn’t believe it: who would have gotten away with this?

“Ali!” Beth cried my name as loud as she could. I looked back at her to see her running to me. She was sobbing when I wrapped my arms around her. I got on my knees and rocked her into a comfort trance. She stopped wailing and let her tears fall silently. I rested my head on hers and looked at the last 7 people that were still alive: Olivia, Nathan, Sam, Ashley, and 2 girls and a boy. They stood staring at me. I understand why they weren’t flipping out. They have gone through things like this. But, Beth and I haven’t. Saul’s body blocked my vision and I flashed my eyes up to his. He picked up Beth in his arms and helped me up. I walked away from them to the open arms of Olivia. I filled them and she smoothed my hair, and was, well a mother to me.

“Ashley.” Saul said, “You take Sam, Aaliyah, and Beth. I will take Nathan, Olivia, and the other 3. Drive the girls to your house. I will be there shortly: we have to get ready for whatever else may come.”

“Saul, you know we have-.” Ashley started.

He put a hand up and shot back, “I didn’t ask for comments. Go. Now.”

“C’mon.” Sam said prying me away from Olivia’s arms. I nodded and walked up to Saul. I didn’t look at him: I didn’t want him to see how much this all bothered me. I slid my hand against his chest to hold Beth. He handed her to me and I turned to get into Ashley’s car.

“Aaliyah.” Saul barely whispered. If he would have said my name any quieter I wouldn’t have known he said anything. I turned to face him but still didn’t make any eye contact. He placed a strong hand on my back and rubbed soothingly, “Are you going to be okay?”

“Sure.” I responded weakly and then faced my back to him to walk away.

*

I pushed Beth’s hair away from her face as she slept soundly. Her face looked like it was carved from rock and I didn’t want to wake her: she looked so beautiful. I leaned the back of my head on the window and stared out the window on the other side of the car. It was pitch black inside out outside of the car. The only thing that provided light was the headlights. I was still a little in shock, but that was dimming.

“Are you okay, Ali?” Ashley asked from the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, just wondering how the fire happened.”

“It was those damn rebels.”

“On Daniels side right?”

“Who else?” she scoffed.

“Right, sorry.” It was quiet for a minute or two.

“On the plus side of tonight, Saul couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.”

“Yeah right.”

Her eyes flashed up to the review mirror to look at me, “No, I’m serious. I think he likes you.”

I shook my head, “No, he doesn’t. I know he doesn’t.”

“Wow, you are blind!”

“How am I blind?”

“Why did you walk in with him today?”

“Because he was afraid to walk in by himself.”

She shook her head and laughed a little too much like a bubbly witch, “Saul afraid?” she giggled some more, “That never happens! Saul isn’t afraid of anything!”

“So, he lied to me?”

“Yeah, more than likely he just wanted to get you to go with him to the ball.”

“But he never asked to go to the ball with me; he just wanted me to walk in with him.”

“Exactly.”

“What?”

“Huh?”

“Am I missing something here?” I asked confused.

“Ohmigod,” she sighed, “He likes you! That’s what you’re missing!”

“No, I’m not going to believe he likes me. He has no interest for me. He threw me down in the library and slapped me on my first day here. He doesn’t like me.”

“Has he done it ever since?”

“No.”

“He likes you.”

“No he doesn’t!” I fought back. I don’t ever want someone like Saul liking me. He’s barbaric!

“Ali, I’ve known Saul ever since he became immortal. And I have never seen him look at a girl the way he looks at you. Okay?”

I kept my mouth shut and turned away from her direction. I had enough talking about Saul. He doesn’t like me. He’s here to protect me, and nothing else.

*

I’ve been up for a while now. The sun shining through my eyelids woke me up. But I kept them closed: I didn’t want to know where I was at. I’m tired of moving from place to place. I felt Beth stir so I might as well get up. I opened my eyes to see trees whizzing by out the opposite window to me. Beth was sitting up straight and swinging her legs back and forth. She should be in a booster seat. She’s only 3; it’s against the law to have a child this small sit like an adult. Her legs couldn’t touch the ground and she found this fun. She giggled and flailed her legs in the air once more, until she looked up at me. “Good morning, Ali.”

I smiled, “Good morning to you too.” She giggled and begun singing to herself. I’ve never heard so many words come out of her mouth in one day before, and I just woke up! I looked up front and saw Sam smiling back at me, “Where are we?”

“Westfield, New York.” She blinked and turned around. I noticed we were in a busy small town. “It’s right on Lake Ontario.”

“Oh.” I sat up straight and watched the small towns people work in their yards and push their kids on the par swings.

“I wanna!” Beth exclaimed pointing a chubby finger at the park.

I lowered it, “Later.” She pouted her lip but was easily distracted by the huge lake on her right.

“Swim!”

“Later, Beth.” I told her softly but then turned my direction to the lake house we pulled up to, “Is this where you two live?”

“This is where we live.” Ashley exaggerated the “we” part. So, this is my new home?

“This is where the survivors will be staying.” Sam opened her door and jumped out.

“Sam!” Ashley scolded.

“What!”

“Don’t make fun of the dead!”

“I wasn’t!” she defended. I got out with Beth at my hip. I looked down at myself and sighed: this dress is so dirty.

“Don’t worry, Ali. I have some clothes that will fit you.” Ashley said waving us into the house.

I walked in holding Beth’s hand. It felt so good inside. It was chilly against my bare shoulders, but it felt so good. I looked out over the grey lake: why isn’t it sunny? I mean, it is the summer. Shouldn’t it be sunny? The grey clouds were dark and dense. “You don’t like thunderstorms?” Sam asked standing next to me.

I nodded my head, “They are beautiful.”

“Here you go.” Ashley threw some clothes at me. The bathroom is down the hall and the second door on the left. I nodded and made my way to the powder room.

*

I sat on my bed thinking about how my life used to be. Always fun. Doing whatever I wanted to do. But now I am restricted, such a funny feeling really. Beth slept on the pillow next to me. Ash and Sam were nice enough to give us the king bed, since we’re both sharing it. She was sleeping. Although I have no clue how. Thre was a huge electrical storm tonight that blew our power out. So the only thing that was shining in my room was a thick, dark purple candle. Ash let me borrow some black SOFFE short shorts and an electric blue tank. My hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, but I didn’t care: it’s not like I’m gonna see any cute boys tonight, right? Wrong.

“Aaliyah, are you awake?”

“No, I’m just sitting criss-cross applesauce to increase nightmares.” I spat back.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know.”

I sighed, “What do you want, Saul?”

He came into the room, leaving the door open. So I knew he wasn’t going to stay for long. “I just wanted to check in.”

“Well, we’re fine.”

He came into the candlelight and I died. All he had on were a pair of black boxers. Oh. My. Gosh. His abs…..holy shit his abs….are so…sexy! “Are you sure?”

I ripped my gaze from his 8 pack to his silver eyes, “Y-yes.”

He sat on the edge of my bed and stared at me.

“What?”

He shook out of his trance, “Huh? Oh, nothing.” He stammered. I couldn’t help but giggle a little. He tilted his head like a confused dog. “What about her?” he whispered nodding his head to Beth.

I looked down at her, “She’s fine. She talked the most today than I have ever heard.”

“She did?”

“Mhm.”

“That’s good.”

It was quiet. We just sat on my bed staring at each other. No one made a move. It was actually…..calming. I’ve never felt this much at peace in a long time. But my mouth ruined it before I could stop it, “Yes?”

He shook his head, “Can I try something?” I hesitated but nodded. He lunged towards me slowly, carefully bringing his face close to mine. I inhaled sharply: what is he doing? He parted his lip. Oh gosh. And moved his mouth past mine. He whispered into my ear, “Goodnight, my girl.” And left the room. What the?