You May Hold Me but I Am Not Your Slave

The air was spilling over with Beth’s laughter: due to her ticklish stomach. We were down on the lakeside beneath the house, enjoying the little sun we had today. It’s been off and on sunshine today, probably the best weather we’ve had since we got here. 1 week. It’s been exactly a week since Saul and I had our fight. And him staying away from me is the only promise he’s ever kept so far. 5 months. I’ve been gone from Seattle for 5 months. Crazy how time flies.

“Hey girly!” I looked up to see Sam and Ashley running to me.

“What’s up?”

“Meeting, Saul says everyone in the front room now.” they sounded alarmed and fright took over their faces.

“Okay.” I got up taking Beth’s hand and ran after Sam and Ash. I followed them into the house and into the front room. Once Beth saw Olivia she hightailed it over to her, while I got knocked over by a very stressed someone.

“What the?” Saul stepped over me and stood by the couch. I got up glaring, “Thanks a lot.” I hissed.

He raised his hands half way and wiggled his fingers, “No touchy remember?”

I rolled my eyes: it’s been this way for the past week. He’s been avoiding me at all costs. I thought I would love that, but…I don’t know…it’s hard for me to deal with him ignoring me.

“I’ll tell you what’s happening when Aaliyah gets her big ass off the floor.”

“Dick.” I mumbled getting up and sitting on the arm of the couch.

“Okay,” He started, “I’m heading out tonight. Troops in Canada are ready to go against Daniels coven. Um, Nathan and Olivia you two are coming with me. So are you three,” he motioned to the other three survivors: Maddie, Kyle, and Tripp. “Aaliyah, you and Beth are staying here with Ash and Sam. We leave tonight so get ready.”

“I can fight.” I pointed out. I’m tired of always having to stay away from things.

The room fell silent and all eyes fell on me, “Not a chance girly. Do you want to be killed?” Nathan asked sarcasticly.

“I can fight. I’m not powerless.”

“Psh, suicidal?” Sam scoffed.

Ashley slapped Sam’s arm, “Sam shut up!”

I rolled my eyes and looked at Saul, “I can fight. Let me do this.”

He shook his head.

“C’mon, Beth can stay here with Ash and Sam.”

He crossed his arms and leaned against the window.

“What makes me different from Olivia? We are both girls and Fallen, but yet you let her go and not me?”

He tightened his lips and narrowed his eyes.

“Psh, whatever I’m going.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No.” he said leaning forward.

“Why?”

It took him awhile to answer, “I need someone here to take care of Beth.”

“Ash and Sam can.”

“No!” he roared. What the heck? I didn’t even raise my voice once, “You are staying here Aaliyah: you’re safe here!”

I didn’t respond. I was actually somewhat satisfied: I needed this type of attention from him. I have no idea why.

“Get ready.” He mumbled leaving the room. I heard him bound down the hallway and slam a door shut. From then on everything was silent.

*

Dinner was awful. Not the food, the food was great. But no one said a word. The air was tensed and the sound of forks scraping the plates made it worse. Everybody looked down at their plate while eating, except for Saul. He would take a gulp of his blood and look straight ahead at something invisible. He was in his own little world.

“Well, not that this isn’t fun or anything, but I got something better to do.” Sam said suddenly getting up. “C’mon Ashley. You too Ali.” Ashley immediately got up and I followed. Before turning the corner I looked back at the table. Everyone was watching us leave, everyone but Saul. He gazed up at me through his eyelashes, and he looked positively dangerous. I skipped around the corner and collided into Ash and Sam. They grabbed onto me bringing my arms behind my back and covering my mouth. I screamed the same time a chair scooted across the floor in the kitchen. I heard hushed whispers and all three of us waited until someone came around the corner. But no one did.

Sam and Ash dragged me into the sitting room, and tossed me onto the couch. Ash immediately got onto the computer while Sam sat down next to me, “What the hell you guys? What’s up?”

“You.” Sam said.

“What about me?”

“Stop messing with Saul. Geez, he’s under enough pressure and he doesn’t need you barking at him all the time.” Ashley explained.

“I’m not the one barking. I didn’t do anything wrong today and he yelled at me.”

“It’s because you’re pushing him.” Sam exclaimed.

“I’m not meaning to I swear!”

“Why do you hate him?” Ashley asked spinning in the computer chair.

I rolled my eyes, “Why do you think I hate him?” I scoffed.

Sam mumbled turning away from me, “You have no idea what he feels for you…”

“Sam!” Ashley scolded, “Shut up!”

“Wait, what did you say Sam?”

“Nothing,” she replied, “I said you have no idea how sorry he is.”

“Oh.” I wasn’t quite sure if I should believe her or not. I mean, Ashley did yell at her to keep her mouth shut. So what did she really say?

*

I padded down the long hallway barefoot and in rolled up red sweats. My Korn tank was sticking to every curve of my body and moved perfectly with me as I ran after Beth. I was getting her ready for bed, but when I was brushing my hair she found that as the opportunity to run from my reach. Now she was running around the house without any clothes but her underwear on. She was heading towards the front room, where everyone was getting ready to go. I slowed to a walk when I reached the room and watched Beth as she ran into the open arms of Saul. He crouched down holding his arms out and wrapped them around her bony body when she collided with him. He picked her up and chuckled when she giggled from the tight hug. I felt a small smile spread and tried to hide it. I was devastated that they were all leaving.

“Where in the world is your shirt?” he asked Beth. She giggled and looked back at me. his gaze followed hers and it landed on my face. He kept his eyes with mine, and this strange tingle arose from my toes up. It radiated through my knees and nestled in the pit of my stomach. I folded my arms and dropped my eyes, but I still felt his eyes on me.

“Well, I’m ready to go!” Nathan announced.

“Good, so am I.” Saul looked around the room, “Where’s Olivia?”

“I’m here.” Olivia walked out of the hallway and gathered me into her arms. She hugged me tightly and buried her face in the nook of my neck. I returned her hug just as hard. I’m going to miss her. She’s taken care of me ever since I came to live with Saul. “Take care, okay?” it wasn’t until now that I noticed she was crying. I released her and pulled her away a little.

“Don’t cry.” I cooed.

“I don’t wanna die like this.” She sobbed and dove right back into my arms. I started tearing up and I looked up at whoever was watching us. Everyone stood in a clump watching us like a movie.

“You’re not going to die.” I kept back my tears, “You’re going to come back. All of you are.” I stared out in front of me blankly.

It was silent for a while. Hugs were passed to Sam and Ashley, but Olivia never let go of me, not until they pried her away, “C’mon Olivia.” Nathan took her in his arms now. I was now empty handed and stood awkwardly as they all began filing out the door. Sam and Ashley walked out with them to watch them leave, and left me alone with Saul and Beth.

“So, this is really it huh? I’ve never been this close to war before.” I exclaimed walking over to him.

He nodded, “Until the curtain comes crashing down.” He set Beth down and stood up straight looking at me.

“Well, be careful.” Was all I could say. I didn’t know exactly what to do. So I took Beth’s hand and turned away.

“I’m not leaving yet.” He mumbled turning me around. I came into his chest and felt his arms wrap around me. I lost control of my arms and they too wrapped around his body. It was weird giving him a genuine hug. I relaxed my body and somehow molded with the way his chest rolled. I fit perfectly within him. I laid the side of my head on him and inhaled deeply. He smelled so good. Old Spice and soft musky sent. Absolutely amazing.

“Now I can leave.” He announced satisfied. We let go of each other and I backed away shamefully. I hate his guts but why did I just wish him good luck?

“When will you be back?” my stupid unstoppable mouth rambled on.

“What’s it to you?” he asked stepping out the door.

I walked outside with him and stopped on the porch. He walked to his car and got in. “Because it means the world to me to know when a soldier comes home.” I uttered under my breath.