You May Hold Me but I Am Not Your Slave

Knock. Knock. Knock. I sat up in my bed with strength: over the past week I’ve gained my momentum and health back. “Who is it?” I asked to the person behind the door.

“Olivia and Nathan!”

“Oh my gosh come in!” I was excited now. I haven’t seen them since they left while I was still in New York: mostly because of Saul. He only let himself and Beth in the room.

They walked in all smiles with a sunflower, “For you.” Olivia pranced over to my side and did a silly curtsy for show, while holding out the flower.

“Ha-ha! Thank you.”

Nathan sat on the end of my bed and watched Olivia carefully, “So how are you feeling?” she got up and rubbed my arm, “Oh geez! You’re freezing!”

“I am not.” I mumbled, “What are you guys doing in here?”

“You don’t want us? Fine.” Nathan started to leave jokingly.

“Well, Saul won’t let anyone in until I’m ready to go out.”

“Saul Shmaul! Who cares, he can’t keep us away from out favorite fucked up girl!” Nathan jumped on the bed and sat down making me go up a little.

“Ha-ha! We don’t think it’s fair that we can’t see you and he can.” Olivia said in a calmer tone.

“Ah, I see. Well…he hasn’t been in here since early this morning. He woke me up at like 4 just to tell me that he won’t be back here until later tonight.”

“And that’s true. He has another troop he’s sending out.” Olivia muttered grabbing the cup next to me and walking into the bathroom.

Nathan waited until she was back in the room with the Sunflower floating in water, “So, did you and Daniel ever talk? Like, civilized people?”

“Well…yes and no,” they both perked up confused, “He only wants us dead: it isn’t natural to keep something alive that’s suppose to be deceased.”

“Yeah, but a lot of people say that.” Olivia pointed out sitting in front of Nathan. He instantly wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into him.

“And he only took me because it was a way to get Saul. If he can kill Saul then all of The Fallen will be killed by Death.”

I looked down mentioning Death. I heard Nathan and Olivia gasp, “So it’s true?” he whispered.

“What is?” I looked up furrowing my eyebrows.

“You encountered Death?”

I looked at him for the longest time before responding, “Yes?”

“What was she like?” he shot back faster. Now, it wasn’t only me looking at Nathan like he was figuring out an impossible math problem.

“Ugly. Blurry. Slimy. And…she?” I caught onto the female part. “That nasty thing is a chick?”

“How would you know?” Olivia backed off of him giving him the ‘tell me more about…her’ look.

“Uh, wow…you two don’t really know huh?” he scratched the back of his neck and sighed, as we looked on for more as if there were a story. And, to a cliché part of my life there was. “Death…yes, her name is Kirra. It means Dark Lady in Celtic. She is supposedly the most beautiful creature ever to be seen. There used to be no such thing as Death itself, until her murder. She had everything. Men. Money. Good health. She attracted many men, but only one is who fell for her for her: Saul.” A pain shot through my heart and circled it….never leaving, “When Saul became immortal he was positively evil. He was Death. He was the monster who attracted men and woman as if he were brandy, and then killed them. Kirra though, ah…Kirra was once The Fallen. She was 20, the same age as Saul. And when that night came to kill Kirra, Saul couldn’t bring himself to do it. He kept her as a pet. Hurting her, messing with her head, and always breaking promises. You could say he was in love, but Kirra never returned the feelings. He grew angry and hurt: he hated himself for being this monster. The monster nobody would love. So, in rage and jealousy he killed Kirra after years of keeping her alive. Now, no one knows – not even Saul- how Kirra became Death. She rose from the dead and took Saul’s place. And as punishment he became a Guardian. To save those from the hands of Kirra. Saul was also being punished for killing the one he loved by dealing with her wrath. She doesn’t remember a thing between her and Saul, only that she hates him. He isn’t in love with her anymore. 600 years have gone by since this mishap, and his feelings for her died off quick. All she really is now is the soul of Death in her body. They will fight each other forever. She is nothing to him. But, that’s why he is so protective over you Aaliyah: he doesn’t want to hurt you.”

Olivia’s mouth hung open and so did mine. It felt as if I could cry, but…I don’t know what to feel right now. “So, how does this story come into play?” she asked.

“I can’t say. Saul would kill me if I told you girls. But what I can say is that, Ali, he’s more interested in saving you from anything that comes your way.”

I blinked confused, “This doesn’t make any sense! Thanks for that little background check, but that has nothing to do with why Saul is so protective over me! I mean, he doesn’t throw himself in front of moving trains to save Olivia! Why is it me?”

Olivia and Nathan got up and walked to the door. He turned around grabbing Olivia’s hand while looking at me. He spoke in a smooth voice, “Like I said: I cannot tell you. It’s not in my place.” they left without another word and I was once again alone.

*

“And you know what also sucks?” I shoved a spoonful of Birthday Cake ice cream into my mouth. Ashley, Sam, and I sat on the floor in front of the fireplace gossiping, “He can’t even stand to be near me after we fight!” I swallowed hard and spoke as if I were British due to the cold treat, “It’s like, he’s afraid I’ll disappear if he gets to close.”

I watched them dig into their own ice cream boxes. Ashley took a hue spoonful, but only nibbled on it, “I know! I’ve noticed that too. I’ve never seen him act like that before.”

“Well I have.” Sam pointed out digging for more chocolate.

Ashley kicked her foot, “Sam shut up.” She hissed.

I giggled and almost choked on my dessert, “Dude, its fine. I already know about Kirra and Saul. Nathan told me all about her earlier.” I rolled my eyes and mocked his male voice, “Saul loved her, but she didn’t love him. So he killed her and she became Death. And now Saul is being punished by dealing with her wrath. Yah, I know.” I heaved another spoonful into my mouth and waited for their replies.

They were staring at me like I had just performed a strip tease, “You weren’t suppose to know about her.” Sam whispered.

“Why not? I won’t be able to do anything about her. It happened 600 years ago.”

Ashley shook her head getting up, “Saul isn’t going to be happy. He hates that memory.”

She walked into the kitchen and put her ice cream back into the freezer, “Who cares. Why is so bad for me to know about her?”

I went into the kitchen with Sam following me and washed my spoon. Ashley leaned against the counter and I jumped up onto it. “It’s not the fact that you know about her, but more leaning onto Nathan’s part in this all. He shouldn’t have told you about her.”

Sam yawned and walked out, “I’m going to bed.” she announced. I watched her join the blackness of the halls and sighed when I heard her door shut.

“What do you mean? Why is everything so secretive in this place?”

She pulled her hair up into a ponytail and shrugged, “There are just some things that should not be shared with anyone else.”

“I don’t get what the big deal is about this. So what if I know.”

“Know what?” Saul came into the kitchen taking off his leather jacket. He had a small smile on his face as he looked at me questionably.

“Nothing.” I responded. He raised an eyebrow and started going through the fridge.

Ashley snickered and left the room, “Secrets.” She chimed. I stuck out my tongue and rolled my eyes. I looked back at Saul as he poured his stupid blood into a glass.

“So, you’re up and making yourself around the cabin I see.” He mumbled taking a sip while leaning on the counter across from me.

“Yeah, I was getting bored of just sitting there in bed.” I glanced at the clock for a random reason: 11:23 pm. Awesome.

He nodded and smiled a bloody one.

“That’s gross.”

“Tastes good though.” I gagged at his remark. How can he say that? He finished off his dinner and washed his cup, “So, what were you and Ashley talking about?”

“Nothing important really. Just girl stuff.”

“Uh-huh. And, this girl stuff his secretive?”

“Well, duh. You’re a guy and I’m a girl. Two totally different types of humans. So we have our right to keep secrets, and so do you men.”

He stepped forward pressing his chest on my knees. He looked up at my high position and smirked, “Like what type of secrets?”

I bent over bringing my face close to his, “Like the type of secret you are never going to know about.” I whispered.

I started going back into my original stance, but he placed a hand on the small of my back and the other on my cheek, “I don’t like secrets.”

I smiled and pressed my forehead onto his, “For a man who doesn’t like secrets sure has a lot of them.”

He glared at me looking up. He tilted his head up almost making our lips touch. This movement made me want to lunge at him and have him all to myself, but that would be crossing the line, and that feeling is an alien to my senses. “I have my reasons, my girl.”

“And so do I.” I crossed my arms leaning away from him.

He smirked again and patted my thigh leaving me alone in the kitchen, “Good night.” Was all he said.

I bit my lip holding in my breath. What just happened there? I wanted to kiss him!