You May Hold Me but I Am Not Your Slave

So quiet. Hot. Sunny. And dry. Can you believe the freaking weather in Utah? Geezes! We already made it out of Nevada around 3:30 this afternoon, but now as the clock flips to the new number of 7:48 pm we are beginning to close in on Colorado. Of course Saul and I talked, but our conversations were unusually mellow. I reclined the passenger seat and propped my feet up on the dashboard. I put my hands behind my head and exhaled in exhaustion.

“Comfy?”

“Very. Much. So.”

“Looks like it, my girl.”

I peered up at Saul, “You should try it; feels so good.”

“Yeah, let me just park the car and waste time from looking for Beth. You’re so right. Let me be that type of lazy person.”

Okay…what crawled up his ass and laid eggs? “Fine, Mr. Grumpy Pants. Be like that.”

He rolled his eyes and sighed annoyed.

“Are you okay?”

“Does it seem like I look okay?”

I sat up and brought the chair back to its original position, “Why do you always snap like that? I was just messing around.”

“I don’t always do that.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Nu-uh.”

“Yes you do, Saul!”

He chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck playfully, “Oh my girl, take a little tease will you?”

I slumped in the seat and pouted. Butthead. “But seriously, what’s wrong?”

“I just want Beth home. I want this war to be over. And I want Daniel dead.” His voice was rich and careful. Thick and suffering from stress.

“Oh, but Saul, you won’t kill him.”

“Oh, but darling, yes I will.”

“No…” I trailed not wanting to get into an argument. It was once again silent, and this was beginning to annoy the shit out of me, so…what would any rocker chick do in a situation like this? If you guessed to turn on the radio then you are my new best friend. I surfed through the different stations, but couldn’t decide on one. I turned the knob so violently getting frustrated; technology and I weren’t meant to meet, but somehow we did. Unfortunately, this radio decided to hate on me, the screen glitched and went out. Crappers.

I sat back pretending as if nothing happened. Acting casual I looked over at Saul, catching him staring at me. His expression would make Hitler laugh; his face was fully showing the “I’m not stupid, so don’t act like nothing happened” look. Oh yeah, very commonly found among the men I’m near.

I looked from him to the radio and then back, “Your…um…radio won’t work.” I obliviously pointed out.

“Really? Fix it.”

“But,”

“Nope, fix it.”

I hung my mouth open.

“I don’t take open invitations, so close it, my girl.”

His statement of course only made it fall even more; thanks to his gross joke. “It is a private party anyways, and it was only a special sneak-peek at what you will never get.”

“Until tonight.”

“Ha! In your dreams!”

He licked his lips, “Exactly.”

“Sorry, but I don’t go down that road of sexual needs.”

“Who said anything about sexual needs? I was talking about gorging down pies with you.” He snickered.

“That was a lame tease.” I muttered switching my attention onto the broken radio.

“Yeah, well…I guess I’m lame.”

“No, just sometimes.”

He looked down onto me. His eyes trailed my body, “Oh, you’ll find out someday.”

I looked up at him, now he’s directly talking about sex. I know it…

“If you’re nice.”

“I’m never nice.”

“I know, that’s what makes all of this so fun.”

I turned on the radio and it came on. Are you serious? Was it even broken. “That was easy.” I said coolly.

He stifled a giggle and pressed his lips into a tight line.

“What?”

He kept his expression but shook his head. But I’m not that blonde.

“Was it even broken?”

“Nope. You pressed the knob in by accident, and you turned it off.”

I pursed my lips and glared up at him, only causing him to laugh and grab my hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed my fingers gently lightheartedly. “Butthead.” I snarled through my teeth, now, this act of hatred would have worked perfectly…but my stomach decided to get in on the act. It growled rudely and loudly. My arms clasped around it, holding it back from embarrassing me anymore then it already has.

“Oh yeah, you need to eat.” He reminded himself quietly as if he forgot humans need to eat on a regular basis.

“It’s okay. I just want to get to Beth.”

“No, you’re gonna eat.”

I began to protest, “Saul…”

“Aaliyah, something is going to go down your throat by the end of tonight!” okay, so he won. I am hungry. “Except for me.” I peered up at him grossed out. He looked down at me, back to the road, and then back to my face, “I’m kidding!” He saved himself from a bruising punch on his beautiful bicep.

“You better be.” I hissed.

“Aw, darling…” he ran a hand through my hair rubbing my neck, “Don’t be so sour. What do you want?”

“Food. Just get me some freaking food.”

“ha-ha, okay…McDonald’s it is then.”

I gagged. That is the most disgusting place ever! Except for their ice cream cones. “No way.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because their food tastes like ass.”

“Well, have you ever tasted ass?” he smirked getting off the freeway and into a side street.

“Nope, but it smells like it, so it might as well taste like it.”

“Unbelievable. Too bad, you’re eating there.” He pulled into a McDonalds and went straight to the drive through, “what do you want?” he asked rolling down his window.

“Just get me nuggets, I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Go, hurry up. I’ll be right in the front okay?”

I nodded hopping out of the car and dashing out of the lane. The new fall air was chilly in the dark, and only the street lights and the giant golden arches led the way. Once I was inside I wanted to throw up. Ugh, the smell….so nasty! I searched for the bathroom and found it. I went in, and I did my business….der. I walked out about five minutes later and made my way outside. Saul wasn’t in the front yet, so I decided to just sit and wait. I leaned against the yellow bike ramp and folded my arms, rubbing my arms to keep warm. I breathed out seeing my breath clearly, and started tapping my foot to The Immigrant Song. For some reason I imagined getting Beth back with a new pierces on her face. I don’t know why, but for some reason I have a feeling that Daniel won’t hurt Beth. Almost as if he’s her older brother, and will give cans beyond the limit of soda to four year old. Now I’m thinking like a crazy woman! How can he be a brother to her when he kidnapped her and beat me? Exactly…he can’t. He never will see her again. Ha-ha, Beth with a facial piercing. I cracked up laughing to myself, but was interrupted by a very soft cry. I looked down at my feet at a dirty sweatshirt. Something was underneath the hood. I backed away a little scared of what can be in it, but I sucked up a little courage and lifted the hood gently away from the ground. I saw something slender, grey, and long swerve back and forth with a tiny hiss. I shrieked and whispered, “I hate snakes.” But wait a second…snakes can’t cry. I picked up the hood and smiled warmly at what lay in a ball at my feet, “Well aren’t you adorable.” I cooed picking up the tiny grey and white kitten. It was shivering from the night air and barely fit in my palms, “Wow, you’re just a young thing aren’t you?” I smiled again bringing it into my chest. It immediately dug between my breasts to keep warm. And car honked while its headlights shined onto my body. It was Saul. I made the move to put the kitten down, but I couldn’t. This little dude was skinny, cold, and probably abandoned, so…it came into the heated car with me. I got in trying not to let Saul see it. I held onto the little dude while buckling up with one hand.

“What’s with you and holding your boobs? They gonna fall out or something?” he asked speeding out of the McDonalds parking lot.

“My bosom is perfectly fine thank you very much.”

“Yes they are.” He commented going back onto the freeway.

“Nice to know that you think that.”

It was quiet for about 10 minutes. Only the hum of the engine and huge semi-trucks filled the silence. I wanted to eat my dinner, but I couldn’t let go of Botis. Yes, I already named him. Botis is a demon. A real one from Hell. Ha-ha. Botis takes the form of a snake, and that’s why I named him that, because I thought he was a snake when I first saw his tail.

“I can smell it.” Saul abruptly pointed out.

Hehe, I shall commit the act of dumbness, “Smell what?”

“What’s in your breast? You’re warmer between your breasts, because it’s the core of your body, and you have a lot of blood flow there. Me being a vampire and all, I smell your scent everyday. It’s a heavy scent, especially on your chest. But, that animal that is taking my place on your body is a very musky and dirty smell. It clashes with you. So, what is it?”

I blinked dumbly, “I have not the slightest clue of what are you talking about. You think my boobs smell good?”

“Yes I do, and don’t change the subject. What did you bring along for the ride?”

Well, that’s an odd thing to say about a woman’s chest. I cupped Botis in my hands and held him out before Saul. “His name is Botis.”

Saul moaned, “You already named him?”

“Yes I did.”

“So we can’t get rid of it?”

I hung my mouth open.

“I told you, my girl, I don’t take open invites.”

“Oh hush it, and no…we aren’t getting rid of Botis. He’s my new kitty.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, “Oh brother, it probably has worms.”

“And from all the blood you drink you probably have AIDS.” I shot back stroking Botis’s head, making him purr.

“Well it smells.”

“And sometimes you do too.”

“It has fleas.” I looked down watching Botis nip at his hind leg.

“And you have me.”

“It purrs to loud.”

“And you moan too loud.” Okay, so this one isn’t true. Saul, well…he isn’t a moaner. He’s a heavy breather mostly. I’m the moaner. Hehe!

“It’s weird looking.”

“So are you in the morning! See, you two are like long lost brothers, except you’re hundreds of years older than him, and in human form. And it’s Botis, not it. And I’m keeping him, whether you like it or not.” I stuck my nose in the air. Everything that Saul said about him is true. Botis does smell, have fleas, and purrs too loud. But that makes me want him even more; so I can take care of him. I put Botis on my lap and started digging though my prison like dinner.

“I’m sexy in the morning, my girl, and don’t you forget that.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled while sipping my Root Beer.

“By the way, we should be in Chicago by late tomorrow night.”

“Okie dokie.”

“Aaliyah?”

“Hmm?”

He hesitated while taking my hand, “I love you.”

The way he said this scared me. Those 3 small words sent a chill up my spine. Fear, sorrow, and nervousness dripped off the tip of his tongue. It made me wonder…..it made me wonder.