One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

Lauren had finally made up her mind the day before she left to go see Mike. She had to tell him. The guilt has been way too much for her to deal with. It was starting to make her hate Travis…just a little. She hasn’t been able to talk to him about it yet. Deep down she knew that she shouldn’t have snapped at him like she did. She knew alcohol was never her friend. It always caused her to act out her true feelings and emotions. She just wished it hadn’t been under those circumstances though.

Sighing before she picked up the phone, nervousness came over her as she punched in Mike’s number. She wanted more than anything for him to not pick up… but he did.

“Hey, what’s going on? You seem to be ignoring me,” he said cheerfully on the other line. If Lauren hadn’t called him for this reason, she probably would have smiled by just hearing his voice.

“I kind of was,” she said softly while playing with a loose thread on the bed’s comforter.

“What’s wrong?” he asked with his tone changing.

Before she answered, she let out a big sigh in hopes to calm her some. It didn’t work too well.

“I think I’m pregnant,” she said with her voice cracking a little.

There was dead silence on the other line. Lauren was prepared for this… or so she thought. She was thinking that Mike would have at least a verbal reaction not a silent one.

“Mike, please just say something,” she pleaded as a few stray tears fell from her eyes.

“What do you mean you think you’re pregnant?” he replied, a little more calm than Lauren expected.

“I’m late, but I haven’t taken a test yet.”

“Then why are you so worried about it? Take the test and then we’ll see what happens.”

“Because if I am, then I can’t be with you,” she said as tears started to fall steadily now.

“What? Why not?” he countered back, confused.

It took her a few seconds to work up the nerve to tell him. It was so hard for her.

“It wouldn’t be yours,” she was able to push out before losing it.

The rest of the conversation wasn’t something that Lauren remembered too well. She only knew that her and Mike were done. She expected that. But that wasn’t the reason for all the tears. She didn’t tell Mike, but she had taken a pregnancy test. It just wasn’t completed yet. If it was positive, she didn’t think that she would have the strength to tellTravis the father.

Once the ten minutes was up, she slowly made her way back to the bathroom where her future would be told to her. She did everything she could to not look at it before she made it to the counter. She didn’t want anything more than to close her eyes and have the sign be a different color and shape. Immediately, she dropped to the floor and started crying again. They weren’t flowing like they were minutes before. Surprisingly, she wanted to find Travis.

She pulled herself off the bathroom floor and worked her way downstairs. To her surprise, he was sitting on the couch watching some motocross competition. He looked up at her for a few seconds before turning away. She figured that would happen. With her not saying too much to him for the past two weeks, he’s sort of given up on trying to talk to her.

“Trav,” she softly said as she made her way towards him.

He looked back up at her with a sympathetic look. Seeing her eyes all red and puffy, he knew she had been crying.

“Can I just have a hug?” she asked, smiling slightly from how corny she thought her question sounded.

Seeing her smile for the first time in a long time caused him to smile also.

“Of course. Come here,” he responded, holding his arms out to her.

Her full smile showed through as she cuddled up to him. Wrapping her arms around him tight, this was one of the first times that she never wanted to let him go. Everything felt so right to her… except one little thing that is forming in her abdomen.

“Are we actually going to start conversing with each other again?” he asked with a grin teasing to show its way through.

“I’m sorry. There have been so many things going on in my head lately. I didn’t want to snap at you like I did before. I am really truly sorry though. I don’t blame you for anything, Trav,”besides getting me knocked up.

“I should have had more self-control though. How about we share the blame?” he suggested with his famous smile still showing through.

She smiled back in agreement as she nuzzled up to him more.

“Is Mike the source of these beautiful eyes looking like this?” he went on to ask, wanting slap his own mouth. He never wanted to throw the beautiful in there.

“We’re not together anymore.”

“I’m sorry, LP. You don’t need a man to be happy.”

“I just need you,” she unconsciously said softly to herself.

She sighed, knowing that Travis heard. Forcing herself to look up at him, she was surprised to see that he was smiling… like always.

“You love me a lot more than what you’re telling me,” he said with a knowing grin.

“Damn, Trav, you’re good,” she teased sitting up from her comfortable position in his arms. “I told you that I loved you though,” she went on, dropping her eyes from his.

“But you say it in like friendly situations. You confuse the hell out of me.”

“I’m just a confused little girl,” she smiled, looking into his brown eyes again.

His hand reached out to hers that she let him take. She examined them for a few seconds. They looked like they belonged that way. His tan rough hands felt so right against her small smooth ones. When she looked up at him again, his face seemed to be closer than what she remembered. A small smile flashed over her as he leaned closer. Their lips gently brushed against each other’s before Lauren pushed him again slightly. He looked back at her confused.

“Can we just… give this some time? I just don’t want to rush things,” she pulled that sentence together difficultly. She honestly didn’t know what she wanted other than Travis. She was just too afraid to admit it.

“Whatever you want, LP,” he said sweetly as they both smiled. “In the mean time, how about we practice? When’s the last time you were on a bike?” he asked as he pushed himself off the couch with Lauren soon following.

“My ankle's been giving me some issues. Maybe I should stay off of it a little longer,” she tried to get across to him.

“You look fine to me. Come on,” he said grabbing her arm gently and pulling her outside.

“But the baby,” she thought on their way to the garage.

She slowly let it go. She’s only about what? A week, week and a half pregnant? What would a little session hurt?