My Fear Of You.

Word Count:1256

I met Will when I was seventeen at a party my best friend, Eliza, was having.
Everybody knew Will, but yet no one was actually friends with him. He kept to himself most of the time, and hardly ever talked.

The night of the party, I had brought a date with me, Mike. I barely knew him, but he had asked out a few times before, so I thought I'd be nice and give him a chance finally. Throughout that whole night, Mike did nothing but drink, and it was starting to get out of hand, so I lured him outside and tried to take him home.

Now at my car, he grabbed my hand and asked what I was doing.

"I'm taking you home. You've had a lot to drink and I think it'd be best.." I said to him.
Before I knew it, he was backing me up against my car, crushing me in between his body and the door.

"Only if you give me a kiss, Sarah," he said with a slimy grin on his face before he bent down and pressed his mouth to my neck. I tried with all of my strength to push him off, to get away because I was getting really uncomfortable at the moment, but he didn't even move as I tried.

"No, Mike. Stop it, get off of me!" Still, nothing. The only thing he did was push me back, and I winced at how hard my back was pressed against the window. I even feared the window breaking at the most.

"Just give me a damn ki-" He raised his voice at me as one of his hands gripped my waist in a bone crushing grab. But just as quick as it was there, it left and so did Mike. I blinked, surprised at how fast he was gone, and then I wondered if it was my doing or not.

That's when I realized that some guy I didn't know had pulled him off of me. I watched as Mike stumbled back away from the guy's grip, and eventually fell back onto the muddy ground.

"I believe she told you to stop." He said before turning around to face me. I knew his face, but I don't remember his name..

"Are you okay?" He asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you," I said awkwardly. I jumped a little when he swiftly reached his hand out for a shake. It seemed to have startled him that I jumped, but I quickly grabbed his hand.

"Uh, hi. I'm Will." He said smoothly.

"Sarah," I said.

That was how I met the charming Will Phillips. We started dating only a few weeks later, and up to this day we still are.

Will is a charming guy, with a heart-stopping grin, and a velvety voice that has all the girls following him and hanging on ever word he says. He's incredibly handsome, very tall and muscular... What girl wouldn't want him, right?

We're both twenty-three now, and living in a one bedroom apartment. For the near six years we've been together, he never did anything wrong.

I was always the one who messed up. I am always the one who gets in his way and screws up..

Two years ago, he started hitting me. He didn't do it a lot, just sometimes here and there. The first time was because I failed to cook dinner before he came home.. That was fault.

The second time was a few days later, when I forgot to call my dad and tell him we couldn't make the car payment on time.... The hitting became worst each and everyday. He'd say he was sorry, and because I love him with every inch of my soul, body, and heart.. I forgave him.

I always do. I know he loves me just as much as I do, and I know he is sorry every time he does it. But how could I blame him? It's my own fault for the things that happen around here, if it's on my part or his.

Tonight is different though..

Last night Will beat me again, and he had kicked my rib rather hard. I can barely move, I've been in bed all day, and I know he is coming home in only a few minutes. Knowing that he's coming isn't even getting me to move an inch. I think my ribs are broken, my cheek has been bleeding, and my head hurts like never before.

I don't know what happened over the years.. I don't know what happened to have Will be like this.. Am I really this bad? Do I really deserve this?

"Sarah! I heard him slam the door as he yelled my name. I knew this was it, I knew he was coming to me now.

The dark room I'm in has been blessed with the light as he threw open the bedroom door and simply stood there. I tried my best to smile at him, to get on his good side at the most.
In only a few wide steps he quietly stood in front of me, looking down at me as I reached out for his hand. He snarled and moved away from me.

"Why are you in bed? Have you been laying down here all damn day?" he said, his voice just as cold as his eyes.

"Honey, baby, please... I think..I think my ribs are broken... I need to go the hospital-"

"You don't need to go anywhere! Are you trying to get away from me? Huh!?" Before I knew it, his hand was around my neck and I was out of the bed for the first time today. The pain that shot through my entire body made me scream with agony and hurt. Never have I felt like this, never has he been this dark.

I tried my best to talk, to let him know that I simply needed a doctor, I tried to comfort him , but nothing came out as his grip became tighter and I couldn't breathe anymore. Finally, he let me fall to the floor. I thought he'd leave, maybe he'd let me go this time.. I prayed for that to happen.

He bent over me as I tried to breathe again and he grabbed a handful of my hair and hauled me up. I screamed again as I felt all the pressure drop down to my ribs, but my scream was cut short by his hand covering my mouth.

"Shut up!" He yelled at me as he held me steady to bring his curled fist directly down to my cheek. He did that a few times, he kicked me in my chest and purposely kicked my hurting ribs. He smacked me, stood me up and pushed me up against the wall.

I love him. He may be viewed as a monster in most eyes...but I love him because he shows me affect-

"I'll teach you to never leave me again." I heard the sound of his belt buckle being undone.

He was taking his belt off to hit me with it. Those are what hurt the most, as he sometimes lashed it across my face..

He sighed in my ear as I scratched at his hands to get them off of my neck again.

"Oh, Sarah. This is your fault, you know that, baby." He kissed my cheek softly, but I saw that the darkness never left his eyes, only grew more fearful and dominating. I cried and cried, trying to beg to let me go, to not do this.. But nothing happened. It probably didn't even mean anything to him.

I'm not scared if him. I love him, even after all of this.. I love him and care for him with everything that is me. I don't fear my Will... I don't. How could I? It's all my doing... It's all my fault.

I layed on the floor, naked and cold as I heard Will start to leave. I stopped crying, although I'm not sure how I could. I hurt everywhere and the pain inside and outside of my body is so painful I want to scream, but I couldn't because my throat was raw from him choking me so much..

I laid there unmoving until I heard him call my name.

I've been lying. Yes, I am scared of him. Bu I do love him. My biggest fear is -

"Sarah." I turned to him to see Will standing above me, looking down at me with such darkness in his eyes.

My biggest fear is not waking up because of his hand. I don't want to go like this..

But right now, as I looked up at him, and I knew what was coming, my fear seemed to be charging head on at me.

His fist came down once again, knocking me out and sending me into the world of blackness and nothingness that has sadly, become familiar to me.

But I love him even through this...

I love...

And that was Sarah's last thought for the night, and possibly nights to come....