What It Takes

Jen

“Are you, um, with that Dave kid?” he asked me. I looked up from my coffee and gazed into his eyes. “Nope,” I answered and he smiled. It faltered though. “Do you want to be with him?” he asked and I didn’t answer. I looked out the window next to me instead, the cool December air swirling snow around.

Did I want to be with Dave? Yeah, most likely. Deep inside, I knew how much I wanted him, and I knew for what reasons too. But I pushed it deeper, making my lie more genuine sounding. “I have my eye on someone else,” I said, looking over at him. He smiled again and took a sip of his coffee.

He was absolutely stunning. His hair was dark brown naturally and his eyes darker than that. He was pale, but a beautiful porcelain pale. He always dressed himself nicely and not once had he done anything uncleanly. He smelled intoxicatingly sweet and his white teeth were always minty fresh. He was a football player by summer, and wrestler by winter. He was fit and tall and every girls dream. He had the best of manners and was kind to everyone. He was what everyone wanted, and what I had; but he wasn’t Dave.

I scolded myself. Now I actually have a legitimate reason to never speak to Dave ever again and get away with it. I can live my happily ever after ‘til break up with Andrew and never be questioned. I flipped my blonde hair over my shoulder. “You’re always with him though,” he stated, his voice flowing through my ears sweetly. I had been after him for a long time. “His best friend is going out with my best friend,” I said, shrugging.

“Aren’t Madi and Peyton, like, married?” he said, and I nodded. “See, we’re like best friend in laws!” I said, chuckling. He didn’t seem amused and kept searching my eyes for the answer. “I was interested in him but that died down a long time ago. Like I said, there is most certainly, someone else,” I said, lying. Unless he thought a long time ago was twenty minutes ago.

He leaned forward, a crooked smile gracing his features. “You keep saying that. Mind if I guess who it is?” he asked, and I leaned forward, resting my chin on my hands. “Go right ahead hot stuff,” I said calmly and he smirked. “Is he in our grade?” I nodded. “Does he go to our school?” I nodded again. “Is he in any classes we both have together?” I nodded, “Every single one.” He smiled. “Is he devilishly handsome?” I laughed and nodded again.

He got really close at this point. “Is he me?” he whispered, and I froze, the hair on the back of my neck standing up. “Yeah, he is. How’d you know?” I whispered back. He chuckled and leaned back in his chair, sipping his coffee slowly while watching me. “Lucky guess.” I laughed again. “I’m much more confident than you, not to mention straightforward. I like you, Jen. I like you a lot,” he said.

And right on cue the butterflies emerged, and I smiled, casting my eyes down. I was relieved that they were still there, and that I could become my regular old self again. “So maybe,” he said, and I looked up into his eyes, “We could go on an actual date sometime?” I nodded. “Yeah, definitely. That sounds really cool.”

He got serious. “And you’ll sit with me at lunch,” he said, sounding as if it was a question. That I didn’t know if I could do. We had combined tables and I didn’t know how approving any of my friends would be of my “split” from Dave; except Katelyn, she’d understand. His eyes stared into mine as I turned into a deer in headlights. He leaned forward. “Please, sit with me,” he said softly and I unfroze, my heart melting.

“Okay, yeah. I will.” He smiled and nodded before looking down at his phone. “The results are back up. Want to go back?” he said and I nodded eagerly, ready to see if I made the play or not. We left the small café and made our way to his silver Honda. I felt safe when he drove. He went the speed limit and kept the music low. We were back to the school within minutes, only talking about play stuff.

He hadn’t tried out but was staying for his friend Chris, who was. He obviously was a sweet guy. While we walked towards the school, our breath swirling in little mist, he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him. I looked up at him and smiled. We walked in through the back door and towards the chorus room.

I was shocked to see Dave sitting there, head resting on his knees. When he heard us walk in, he jumped up and was in front of us immediately. He grabbed Andrew by his sweatshirt and pushed him up against the wall. “You can’t just take my girl out, man,” he said angrily. I shook my head. “Who the hell is ‘your girl’? I don’t see anyone in this hallway!” I protested. “Shut up,” he said, before Andrew brushed him off.

“Look bro, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Jen’s with me,” he said, walking over to me, “And I’m not gonna fight you.” I shook my head once and proceeded towards the list. But Dave wasn’t giving up. “She is not with you. She likes me and I like her and that’s it, bro,” he spat. Andrew hesitated and looked down at me.

“Maybe I liked you once, but not anymore,” lie, “And if I ever have to talk to you again, it’ll be too soon,” lie, “And I would rather walk ten miles naked in the middle of a blizzard than be with you.” I was filled with lies today, but I was good at it so it wasn’t that big of a deal. “I don’t believe you,” he said confidently. I rolled my eyes. “Believe what you want,” I spat and I grabbed Andrew’s hand. I let my eyes scan the list and my heart sunk.

I hadn’t made the part I tried for.

“Wow Jen. Congratulations, you got the leading role!” Andrew said and I glanced up at the sheet with the big roles on it. There it was, my name with Peggy Sawyer after it. I made the leading role in 42nd Street. I squealed in delight and threw my arms around Andrew, who lifted me up and spun me in the air. I swooned slightly, having felt his glorious arm muscles flex against my body.

“I am so excited,” I breathed, smiling what I hoped was radiantly. “You’re so cute,” he said and I smiled even wider. “You wanna take me home so I can tell my dad?” I asked, and he nodded. “Sure thing Jelly Bean,” he said, and I giggled. For the first time tonight, I was genuinely happy that I was with Andrew.

Madison

“You’re…gay?” Peyton said, his face shocked. Chuck smiled a very small smile and nodded tightly. I sat next to him, crushing him into a hug. “You can stay with us as long as you have to,” I said and he nodded against my shoulder. I jumped up quickly as the phone rang against the shrill silence.

As I walked past Peyton, I tapped the bottom of his chin in order to make his mouth close. He was obviously still completely stunned. At least his attention was off of me for the moment. Earlier, the lawyer—my lawyer—called. Mr.Berman told me that he had just officially started my case. I was horribly confused and so eager to push it out of my mind.

I answered the home telephone without looking at the Caller I.D. which I should have. If I did, I wouldn’t have answered because it was my mother in law. Lisa informed me that we would be having a family dinner two days from now and that it would be formal. I would much rather shove a white hot fork through my ankle. I brought the news to Peyton who was talking quietly to Chuck.

“Great, just what I needed. Some dinner party,” he mumbled. Chuck fidgeted anxiously on the couch. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come here. I’m just going to be in the way,” he said and I rolled my eyes. “Please Chuck, relax. I’ll go set up the guest bedroom now. You must be beat. And maybe you shouldn’t go to school tomorrow,” I said.

He chuckled. “You’re babying me Madi,” he said, and I just shrugged. I put extra blankets in there and just made sure everything was clean. We hadn’t really used it in a while so it was mostly clean. “Chuck, room’s ready when you are. I’m going up to bed, you can help yourself to anything in the kitchen,” I said, trying to comfort him.

He nodded and kept talking to Peyton so I went upstairs to get ready for bed. I could barely even believe that Chuck was thrown out of his house and that he was gay. I had absolutely no problem with it, but it was just so sudden. What made him come out so suddenly? I didn’t want to push but I secretly wondered if maybe there was someone else involved.

That would be so cute if he was going out with someone. I wanted to meet him immediately. I wouldn’t push anything so soon, but eventually I would. I pulled on a pair of pajama pants and turned on the television. The news flashed across the screen but I changed it to music videos, bobbing my head to a Paramore song. I was hed my face and brushed my teeth in the bathroom.

I quickly decided to straighten my hair for the next day. Halfway through that, and a crappy rap song, my phone started buzzing on the vanity next to me. It was Will, since I learned my lesson and checked the screen. “Hello?” I answered and he burst into conversation. “Jen made the leading role in the school play!” he said, and I sat back in my chair. “And she couldn’t tell me this, why?”

He didn’t even take a breath. “I wasn’t done. You wanna hear this shit? She’s going out with Andrew Stevens,” he said, and I nearly dropped the phone. “What about Dave?” I asked, my eyes dinner plates in the mirror. “Who the hell knows? All she said was something about how he doesn’t deserve her and how he insulted her,” he informed me, and I rolled my eyes.

“Thanks for letting me know,” I said, and he hung up on me. I skidded out of the room and down the stairs, propelling myself into the arms of my husband who fell to the ground. “Hey what’s the rush?” he asked and Chuck stood over us laughing. I stood quickly, not helping him to his feet. “Jen’s going out with Andrew Stevens,” I blurted and their faces dropped.

“What about Dave?” they said at the same time. I shrugged. “Who fucking knows? She’s unpredictable and stubborn so don’t count on her and Dave being together anymore,” I said. Chuck sighed. “Well, I’m going to bed you guys. Thanks for letting me stay.” I rolled my eyes. “For the last time, no problem.”

I went back up with Peyton following me. He was done getting ready a lot faster than I was and he just watched me from under the covers, gently singing to some song on the TV. My hair was done so I set out an outfit and turned off the TV to get into bed. Peyton wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, warming up a little bit. We lay there in silence for a little bit.
“Can you believe about Chuck?” I asked, and I felt him fidget a little bit. “Not really. It’s so weird that I never ever got the feeling about it, you know?” he said, and I nodded. “I didn’t get that vibe from him either. But then again, it was always kind of about us,” I said, chuckling a little bit. “I hate that. I’m so glad we’re happy now and everything. So stable.”

I hesitated for a moment. “Yeah,” I agreed but I wasn’t really sure. When Mr. Berman called, I was kind of excited to see what he had to say. I wanted to know if there really was a way to be free again.

“So what was bothering you before?” he persisted. I rolled my eyes and sighed; was this boy a mind reader? “it doesn’t matter,” I said, shimmying away from him, “Just forget about it.” He wouldn’t let it go though, I knew that much. “Please tell me. I love you and I want to help you,” he said, and I sighed. “I’m on my period,” I lied and he rolled his eyes.

“Is that it? Wow, I’m really stupid. I forgot everything we learned in health,” he said. “And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” he added. “Thanks,” I whispered.

And for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t happy in his arms.