The High School from Hell

I opened the door, ever so slightly smiling sheepishly. "Yes?" I said smiling widely, trying to look innocent. He was holding up a poster, a poster with an... inappropriate drawing that was conveniently placed on the door of the boys locker room after soccer practice.

"This." He snarled handing it to me. I gazed at my own hand, a little caricature of Matt making kissy faces at a soccer ball, hearts in the air. He was also singing "I want to make love to you," the lyrics framing the picture. My dad looked over my shoulder and laughed. Then he caught Matt's eyes, coughed, mumbled "dinner and uhh... yeah," and walked back into the kitchen.

"What about it?" I asked handing it back to him.

"WHAT ABOUT IT?" He repeated angrily, "WHY?! WHY?! WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY?"

"Who said it was me?" I asked indignantly.

"You signed it." Awh damnit. Habit. /he shoved it back into my hands as though its very presence disgusted him.

"Okay, so it was me. You've got to admit its pretty funny."

"Funny? Not the word I was thinking. You OWE me for the Rosch." He growled and stalked back down the street. Baby. This is hilarious, I don't know what he's talking about.

It is pretty funny..

YOU SEE! Well fine, see if I ever draw his ass again. I slammed the door and went back into the kitchen mumbling under my breath about "overreacting," and "babies,"

"You are going to get yourself in trouble Addy." My dad smirked, setting a plate of, Ooooooh, BLACK BEAN SOUP. Yum. Just the kind of thing for this freezing ass cloudy day.

"That's happens to me a lot in case you hadn't notice, AND IT WAS HILARIOUS!" I added in my defense, indignant that I should be blamed for such a comic feat.

"That's not the point," My dad said between bites, "the point is that boy looked murderous, you're lucky we're going away for thanksgiving or he might plot your death."

"He's already giving health problems by his mere presence," I mumbled my face scrunched up in a disgruntled pout.

"It's your funeral," He shrugged. Why does everybody keep saying that? Its not that big of a deal.

Yes but now you owe him one.

I wonder... Why isn't he just taking his revenge? That would make a WHOLE lot more sense... I'm not sure which is scarier. Owing Matt a favor or him getting his revenge. It can only mean one thing. He already has a plan, and he's putting it to action. Which is so not good. So, so not good. Hmm... maybe I'll con dad into making me chocolate cake... yum..

I MISS MY BED... My warm batgirl comforter, my fluffly monster pillows, my springy mattress. So not fair. Not that this isn't better then driving my dads lame ass CR-V. Planes make me sick. Bad movies, bad music, bad seats, jerks in front of you who don't shut up. Yeah. God, I feel like puking. I HATE PLANES. I whimpered as we hit some turbulence and clung to my seatbelt. OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO CRASH, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD--

SHUT UP. WE ARE NOT GOING TO CRASH. YOU HEAR ME?!

Yes, oh Yoda wise and all knowing.

You bet'chor ass!

Feeling too sick and scared to roll my eyes I shut them tightly. Breath, breath... whooo... just breath...

"Please stay seated and buckle your seat belts we are preparing to land." Pffft. Yeah, who takes there seat belt off on a PLANE?! I stay seated and buckled in with the window shut the whole damn time. I AIN'T GOING NO PLACE UNTIL WE ARE FIRMLY ON THE GROUND. Mmmhhmmm mmmhmm mmmm hmhmhmmm...

Are you humming The Maine?

Calms me down.

Riiiighht...

Oh shut up.

"Addy, hunny, we've landed." My dad whispered. YES! I jumped up and started shoving my way through the crowd, ignoring the "oof!"s and "hey!"s and "watch where you're going!"s. SHUT UP BITCHES I'M GETTING OFF THIS DAMN PLANE RIGHT NOW. I waited for my dad, who hadn't shoved, pushed, and rammed his way through the crowd. I tapped my foot impatiently while I waited and snarled at him when he made a joke about my fear of planes. SO NOT MY FAULT. PLANES CRASH. RAWR.

Scary...

Thank you.

I think YOU need a sarcasm sign.

You know my sarc-dar doesn't work when I'm stressed.

Sarc-dar?

Sarcasm radar. Kinda like Gaydar.

Oh.

I walked with my dad to the luggage trolley, train, revolvy thingy to grab our bags and headed out to where Johnny was waiting for us. Damn I hope his mom let him bring the Explorer, I sooo don't want to have to drive an hour in his old truck.

"Hey, Johnny." My dad chuckled gave him the "man hug" you know that weird thing they do. I rolled my eyes and pulled Johnny into a one armed hugged and said "Please tell me you have the Explorer." He laughed and walked away.

"I'M FREAKIN' SERIOUS!" I shouted running after him, which wasn't easy, my bag is ENORMOUS. "WAIT UUUUUP." I groaned. We trudged out to the parking lot where--

"OH MY GOD GRANDPA LET YOU BRING THE MERCEDES?! He must freakin' love me." I gasped. "Why in the world would he let you drive?" I added, flabbergasted.

Hah, flabbergasted.

"He didn't." Said a cheery, fond voice from the driver's seat.

"AUNT LILY!" I squealing shoving my duffel into Johnny's arms and hugging her tightly, ignoring Johnny's "Damn Addy, what did you PACK?" Before I go any further, I should probably explain the er... largeness of my family. First there's my Grandma and Grandpa, French Ballroom Dancing Champions who settled in Texas because everything's cheaper in Texas. They had four kids, from oldest to youngest: Marilyn, John, Lori, Adeline. Aunt Marilyn married Uncle Kyle they had four kids, from oldest to youngest: Kaitlyn 19(who got married last spring), James 17, Karen 16, Layla 14. Uncle John married Aunt Lily, he died in May two years ago from cancer and then Johnny came to stay with us in California for his senior year Johnny turned nineteen in August. They had two more kids: fraternal twins Shane and Cayla who are twelve. Then there's Aunt Lori and Uncle Louis who have three girls and a brand new baby boy. Joanie 14, Abby 11, Lacey 10, and little Raymond Jason (RJ) who is going to be a year in December. Then o' course my mom, who had just one kid ME!

And aren't we lucky...

... No one asked you. Anyways, for Thanksgiving vacation(MY FREAKING SCHOOL GETS A WHOLE WEEK OFF!! At Lincoln we only got three days..) at my Grandparents mansion just outside of Austin. Everybody gets together and my Grandma cooks, oh my god delicious(she insipered my dad to become a chef). OFF TO GRANDMOTHERS HOUSE WE GO!

I'd forgotten for BIG their house is! Its gotta be the biggest house in TEXAS. Okay, over exaggerating a bit. I can't wait to see everyone! Thanksgiving is like our own little family reunion. Except everyone's nice and nobody gossips. Sure, half the fam wont be here until Wednesday, but that means I get my Grandma's cooking all to myself for today, Monday, AND Tuesday! Aaaaw YEAH. Biznatched. Fist in the air-- and bring it back down for a victorious pose. Yeeeheheheesssss...

...Oo;...

You don't seem to grasp how AMAZING Grandma's cooking is, FOR SURE. I'm not kidding, its the best damn food I've ever had.

"Eline, hunny, I was so worried about you!" Speaking of whom, "How's your school going? You getting along with everyone well? Are you eating enough, you look a bit thin, made any new friends?"

"Grandma I'm fine, really. School is fine, yes I've made friends, and I intend to gain twenty pounds this week so no worries." I laughed hugging her around the middle. My Grandma is short like me and has the same hazel eyes I inherited from my mother, and my mother from her. Thin, weathered, warm smile, she's got to be the greatest person I know. Her and Granddad were really kind to my dad who decided to stick it to his parents and stay with my mom and his unborn child, they took him in and they finished high school and even helped him get through culinary school. They're the nicest people you ever met, and believe in the good in people. Maybe not assholes like Justin, tch, but ya know.

"Addy!" EEEE!!!

"AUNT LORI!" I squealed hugging her too. Aunt Lori looks a lot like Grandad. Tall, red hair, skin like the moon, tehehe... All of Lori's kids are pale except 'lil RJ. But maybe it's to soon to tell.

"How've you been! I haven't seen you since---" She stopped herself but hurried on, "You have to come see Joanie! She's dying to see you! She's been locked up in the guest bedroom all day saying 'when's Addy getting here?', you might want to go see her before she explodes. She's in the pink room."

"Oh, aren't I the popular one!" I smiled, "I go do that now. JOHNNY. TAKE MY BAGS UP TO THE BLUE ROOM!"

"WHAT! THEY'RE YOUR BAGS!"

"Johnny, stop being a baby." Aunt Lily said, walking over to hug Grandma.

"HAH. I win." I chuckled and raced down the drive and into the house. Up the stairs I gooooo, lalalala. I opened the door to the pink room, each of the guest bedroom have a color and thats how we define them, and said Joanie sitting nervously on one of the beds, Lacey was sitting on the other bed saying, "I don't understand why you can't--" But then the spotted me and glomped me. Ouuuuuch...

"G-guys-- can't--- breath--" They jumped off me and Joanie shoved Lacey out of the room.

"I need to talk to her alone Lace, 'kay?" And shut the door in her face.

"I'LL GET AN EXPLANATION JOANIE." Lacey called, but it sounded like she was already heading for the stairs.

"What's up Joanie?" I said, an eyebrow raised.

"Umm... well... er..." She started pacing as I sat down on the bed she just left.

"Spit it out woman."

"I need your help... I.. um... sorta been seeing this guy--" Oh God nothing good starts with that sentence, "-- and umm..."

"You figured that if you didn't do something either you'd end up like me or your parents would think that you'd end up like me?" I said in a resigned tone.

"He's been, well, for lack of a non-cliche term, pressuring me... I-I don't think I can break up with him alone." Joanie, gazed at the ceiling. I've always said she's far too nice. Poor thing.

"Alright let's go now." She dropped her gaze to look at me in surprise.

"Now?"

"Why not? Its a Sunday afternoon, he's probably at the mall with his friends. We can con Grandad into letting us take the Nova, I'm the only one he'll let drive it anyways."

"But-but... Okay." We got up and went down to the living room were Grandpa was watching television.

"Gramps, can me and Joanie take the Nova for a ride?" Grandpa looked up in shock, then laughed.

"Addy, hunny, for you anything. You practically built that car anyways." He smiled and gave me a one armed hug before Joanie and I set off. Lets meet this dumb shit so I can kill him before dinner.

God I love this car. It may be a chevy, but damn if she isn't sweet. Who's a pretty girl, Antoinette? Who's my beautiful baby? Mmm.. 8 cylinder, manual, 1970 corvette, yellow, racing strips, four speed transmission, power disc breaks, best engine money could buy. This bishie is HOT. It's also my Grandad's baby. He spent the money on it, Johnny and I built it. He won't let Johnny drive though, and who could blame him Johnny drives like a maniac, its hilarious. He lets me drive. It think its because out of all his children/grandkids I'm the only one who got Grandmas eyes. They're a bit of a weak spot for him. You should see how he dotes on her, its cute. He even named the Nova after her. Antoinette. ITS ADORABLE.

Yes, they do seem to have a normal relationship don't they... unlike some people...

WHAT WAS THAT?!

Nothing, nothing...

THAT'S RIGHT NOTHING!!

I just meant that you seem a bit obsessed with the cars you drive.

I.. I do not.

Well, you often call them your "baby"s and treat them like--

Like WHAT?!

Like they actually ARE your children.

So what if I'm attached to my cars? They keep me going, literally. Pfft. Without me you wouldn't be here, and without my cars I couldn't be anywhere either.

Fair point, but I don't treat you like you're my child.

Of course you don't. One, that's creepy. Two, you're a bitch.

... Who asked you anyways.

You?

... shut up...

Hah. I so win. I pulled into a parking spot and Joanie and I hopped out.

"Let's go see if we can find this loser eh?"

"Okay."

"What's his name anyways?"

"Todd."

"Bad sign, you remember Kaitlyn's stalker guy? His name was Todd."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that..."

"Tch. You are far to nice, I swear you're like Grandma reincarnate."

"Are you saying I'm an old lady."

"Grandma wasn't an old lady her whole life ya know."

"I know, but its hard to picture her any other-- there he is..." She trailed off in a mutter, pointing toward a group of boys sitting on the fountain ledge. We walked over to them, Joanie one nervous step behind me.

"Which one of you is Todd?" I growled.

"Who's asking," The one in the middle sneered with a cocky grin.

"Joanie cousin, asshole." I growled, sizing him up. He's not that tall, though taller than me, dirty brown hair, lanky. Weak looking. A kid.

"Joanie, what is this?" The cocky one growled.

"Go ahead Joanie, this is your fight, tell him." I said, and put a hand on her shoulder encouragingly.

"It's over." She said firmly to the cocky Todd.

"Like hell it is, its over when you're on your--" But he didn't finish the sentence, I gabbed him by the collar and yanked him over so I could growl in his face, "You don't want to finish that sentence you little shit."

"You better be glad its me she chose to tell," I said shoving him backwards, "all I'll do if you don't leave her alone is castrate you, if she had asked Johnny," I grinned, "Well lets just said Johnny's been to Juvie for a lot less than your ass, come on Joanie. We're done here."

Wow. I'm impressed.

Thank you.

That was very... Almost Xena of you.

Are you saying I'm a lesbian?

No.. If you were a lesbian you wouldn't have the hots for Matt.

I DO NOT HAVE THE HOTS FOR MATT.

DO SO.

DO NOT.

Dooo sooooo.

DO NOT! SHUT UP I SAY!

Denial is not just a river in egypt ya know.

First: THAT WAS SO LAME, second: DO NOT.

Me thinks the lady doth protest to muuuuch!

We hang around Romeo and Juliet to much...

That could possibly be true..

No joke. We walked back to the Nova, Joanie considerably in higher spirits, and drove back to the house.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" HELP HELP HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPP!!! EEEEK!! I screamed in fear as Kaitlyn dragged me from the car and squeezed the living daylight out of me.

"A-ah... Kaitlyn-- you--you're k-killing me--" I wheezed, but that only made her squeeze harder. "KAITLYN YOU'RE CHOCKING ME." I gasped for air as she finally let me go. "Its good to see you but you don't have to kill me ya know."

"Yes I do! You weren't here when I got here! Plus I haven't seen you in FOREVER." She glared at me playfully.

"I know I know." I said, linking arms with her and Joanie as we skipped into the house.

"Oi, Grandma, what's for dinner?" I called. Mmmm... dinner...

YEEEEEHEHEEESSS... MY TURN TO PICK THE GAME. Thanksgiving dinner is over, the Packers WON and now my victorious streak will continue! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Yesss... They should have known the game I'd choose. I have never lost this game. EVER. I will reign VICTORIOUS. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

You've already done that.

Shut up! Nothing will distract me from my moment of triumph! BWAHAHAHAHA!! TRIUMPH I SAY. Yeheheheheeeeesssss... I wiiiiinnnn...

"Come on Addy pick a game!"

"Wait, wait, Dex and I have an announcement!" Kaitlyn stood up with her hubby. We're all sitting in the living, eating our pumpkin pie, the adults are chatting and the cousins young and old are gathered around to play: Annual Pick a Game Cousins Only After Dinner While Eating Pie TRADITION!! HAHAHA. I waited patiently as she twitched nervously.

"I'm.. Going to have a baby!" There was an instant uproar, everyone was cheering and yaying, and hugging. OH MY GOD I'M COUSIN TO HAVE A... second cousin?

That sounds about right.

SECOND COUSIN!!! YAY!

"Congratulations!" I hugged both her and Dex before I said down again, cheerfully joining the babble.

"Oh Addy, have you thought of a game yet?" Karen asked through the chatter.

"Heheheh... Oh yes. We're playing-" A pause for dramatic affect, "-- SIGNS!"

"SWEET!" Several people chorused. Let me explain a bit about the game. For those who don't know, for signs you sit in a big circle with some lucky player in the middle and you pick your "sign"s. A "sign" is kind of like a sign in sign language. Each person picks a different one. Now, in the beginning, the person in the middle spins around in a circle with their eyes closed for fifteen seconds while "the sign" gets passed around. I shall explain the "passing of the sign". It means one person in the circle does somebody else's sign, whatever they chose, and that person has to "accept" the sign by doing their own sign, when they have done that they have accepted the sign and they officially have the sign. Now you keep passing the sign to different people while trying to keep the person in the middle from finding "the sign". After the fifteen seconds they open their eyes and try to guess who has the sign, while people keep passing it. You have to watch people and see if you can see them passing the sign by doing someone else's or accepting. If you make a guess and the person has the sign and hasn't passed they have to come in the middle, otherwise you have to stay there until you find it. Problem is is that the people in the circle can do the person in the middle's sign, whatever they choose, to confuse them. We've gotten so good at this game over the years that its hard for newbies to keep up we're so fast. Its an amazing, complicated, hilarious, and simple game once you get used to it. I once played with a bunch of newbies, and put myself in the middle and after the fifteen seconds, caught the person with the sign the second I opened my eyes. It was like magic. Anywho. ON WITH THE GAME!!

"Johnny, YOU GET IN THE MIDDLE." I smirked.

"WHY?"

"'Cause I say so. And I'll start off with the sign!" BWAHAHA. Johnny got in the middle and closed his eyes.

"One."

I passed it to James.

"Two."

James passed it to Shane.

"Three."

Shane passed it to Layla.

"Four."

Layla passed it back to me.

"Five."

I passed it to Karen.

"Six."

Karen passed it to Abby.

"Seven."

Abby to Lacey.

"Eight."

Lacey to Kaitlyn.

"Nine."

Kaitlyn to Cayla.

"Ten."

Cayla to Joanie.

"Eleven."

Joanie to James.

"Twelve."

James to Shane.

"Thirteen."

Shane to me.

"Fourteen."

Me to Joanie.

"Fifteen." Johnny opened his eyes and gazed at us, turning slowly on the spot to watch our movements. Behind his back Joanie passed it to Kaitlyn--

"Kaitlyn do you have the sign."

"Nope."

"I saw her pass it to you!"

"Maybe, but I haven't accepted it yet." She stuck her tongue out at him. HAH. I love this game!

Sooo tired... jet laaaggg... I hate planes. I really do, they're death traps. People don't realize how horrible they air. You get sick, the food is worse than hospital food, people are always hijacking them, turbulence, make you so tired you want to sleep for a week. Not to mention the mean stewardess who glares at you for complaining about the plane. FREEDOM OF SPEECH. I'm allowed to say the plane is crappy if I want to, soooorry. Its not MY fault they're unsafe. Its not MY fault they stink. Its not MY fault they make me sick. Or tired. Or cranky. Or that the movie just plain SUCKED. I can't BELIEVE I have to go to school on Monday. No fair! I hopped out of the passenger seat of my dad's CR-V and headed for the house when--

"ADDY WAIT!" I turned around... What... why is Nathan here? So confused... so tired...

"Hey Nathan." My dad said grabbing his stuff and headed into the house. YEAH THANKS FOR LEAVING MY HERE DAD. Pfft.

"Hey Addy's dad. Addy you have to help me!" Nathan said with a look of desperation.

"What?" I groaned.

"I have a stalker!" He whimpered.

"If you even think of asking me to be your pretend girlfriend--"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. She's following me around! PLEASE. I went out with her once and she got crazy so I left and now I can't get rid of her!" One question.

What's that?

WHY AM I ALWAYS DOING THESE JOBS?!

... 'Cause you're scary like that.

... Why...?

"But--.. but.. nappy! Sooo tired..." I sighed... So. Not. Fair...

"NATEY MY LOVE!" HOLY SHIT!! A BRIGHT PINK BUG?! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. I stared in horror as a brunette in pigtails jumped out of the horrible Bug and ran to jump on Nathan. I held my arm out just as she came near enough and she hit my lit a tree branch and toppled over. REJECTED.

"Nice." Nathan said appreciatively.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY NATEY!" She screamed, on her feet in a flash.

"YOUR Natey? Shoo fly don't bother me." Geez. Aaron, Nathan, Joanie. I feel so used.

"Shut up WHORE." She sneered.

Uh-oh... A-Addy...?

WHERE'S THE DRILL?! I'LL KILL HER! HER HEAD IS MINE.