The High School from Hell

"It was last April... Johnny's father had died and he had come to live with us, he was having a really hard time and Aunt Lily thought he should spend some time with me, I who had lost my mother four years earlier. I met Justin at a Halloween party, the night I turned sixteen, Johnny was determined to make me have fun. There's one reason I hate my birthday," I chuckled humorlessly.

"Anyways, Johnny wanted to go out and party with his Senior friends, I went with to be his... designated driver. So to speak. Anyways, I had a soda, Justin spiked it while Johnny was playing poker. He dragged me upstairs, and he raped me. And he recorded it. But the idiot didn't put enough GHP in my drink and it was starting to wear off. I started fighting back. His sister, June, who used to be my best friend, we met on the Varsity Volleyball team, was furious when she found out that I had the nerve to call her brother a rapist. She cut out a part of the video before she sent it to everyone in the entire school. When I started fighting back Justin freaked. He grabbed my hair and slammed me against the headboard of the bed and ran," I ran my fingers through the left side if my hair and showed him the ugly triangle shaped scar I usually keep hidden.

"I don't know how Johnny knew, but he did and if he hadn't found me when he did I would've died. I was in intensive care for three weeks fazing in and out of a coma, when I got out, I found out that Johnny and my Father had pressed charges and used the video for evidence. We won. Johnny wanted to take me out, take my mind off the fact I was now failing and the left side of my brain was seriously screwed over. Brain damage and all. I'm actually really lucky I'm not a vegetable. Anyways, we went to Prom, yeah I went to Prom with my cousin. I just didn't realize that June had spent those three weeks telling everyone I was a liar and a whore. That was without a doubt the second worst night of my life." I finished, with a grim smile, "You know what totally sucks? The bastard only got five years." I laughed, a little too loudly.

"Addy I'm sorry," Matt said. AGAIN. I stood from his bed where we had been sitting.

"Oh my God if you say you're sorry one more time I swear I'll kill you." I said grabbing my bag from where I dropped it on the floor.

"I'm--" I glared at him before he got the words out. "Fine. But that doesn't change the fact that I feel like a total dick."

"A dick you may be," I joked. "So much for studying.." I mumbled. "I'm going home, my dad's probably freaking out. Did you know I have a sibling?" I laughed.

"What?"

"Yeah, my dad knocked up Ms. Cross. He told me before I came here. Besides I think I'm going to need that bribery food he made. Because if you've been sent the video I'm sure June sent it to everybody else in the school." I said turning the door handle.

"Addy," I paused, but Matt seemed to be having trouble finding the right words to say.

"Don't worry about it Matt. See you Monday." I said exiting the house in a rush, not pausing to say goodbye to Mikey who was now looking doubly confused. I didn't feel like crying anymore, but I didn't feel like going home to face my dad either and if I called Johnny he'd hop in his truck and drive through the night to come and see me. Not that I would mind that, but he's taking classes this semester. I want him to stay there. So I walked. In the rain. But I didn't mind. My mind was to busy reeling about all this new information. I have a brother or sister. June thinks its necessary to track me down wherever I go and ruin me because, you know, JUSTIN'S the victim in all of this. Sure. I glare at the clouds as rain pounds against my skin. I can't help wondering about Monday. Which was going to suck. Even if Matt is surprisingly sweet enough to... I doubt that anyone else is. Oh god! I bet Nathan and Rexy have already seen it too, and Mace... Aaron... I grunted in anger and punched the nearest tree, resulting in nothing but bleeding, bruised knuckles. I probably broke my hand damnit. Well that didn't make me feel any better, but even will my pulsing painful hand I didn't feel any worse. I guess you can feel any worse than this. At this one exact moment in time I was sure, I couldn't possibly feel worse...

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OH. BOY. I am STUFFED. In the past... well... weekend, I think I've eaten at LEAST a ton of varied deserts. and successfully avoided my friends. It didn't help things when I finally forced myself to go home that my father announced he was going to MARRY Ms Cross. Not that I'm not proud of my dad for doing the right thing, but I'm about to have a sibling, a stepmother, an irreversibly ruined reputation, and two more years of unbearable high school. Lucky me. Tomorrow is Monday and I'm not to excited, but... I know I have to face it but it doesn't seem fair. I guzzle down a bottle of Pepto Bismal-- Éclairs somehow just don't mix with brownies, cookies and double chocolate chip choco chunk chocolate cake. Go figure. For future notice-- comfort food IS A BAD HABIT. I pulled on my new batman pajamas, courtesy of Dad who I did tell about... you know the video, he felt so bad especially on top of knocking up my teacher so I got a lot of new sympathy things this weekend. And lots of hugs. I really want a Nathan hug, but as I said, I've been avoiding them.

Buut whhhyyy? I love Nathan.

I prefer not to deal with that awkward situation if I have to, Matt was bad enough.

Yeah, but you're not in love with Nathan, and they're your friends.

I'm not in LOVE with ANYBODY. I grabbed my sweater and headed for the bathroom to brush my teeth when my dad called for me.

"Hunny? Come down here for a minute please." I groaned and trudged downstairs. I stopped at the end of the stairs and flipped around, ran up the stairs, into my room and slammed the door behind me. Next thing I heard was the pounding on the door I locked.

"ADDY!! OPEN UP THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" Nathan screamed from behind the door.

"NO!"

"ADDY!"

"NOT HAPPEN!!"

"ADDY PLEASE!" Rexy called, pleading.

"NO!"

"Addy...?" It was Mace, "Come on, hun. I promise we wont bite you."

... I hate that boy...

You love him. He's like the awesomest not as insane as Nathan bestest buddy boyfriend to your bestest girlfriend.

I did not follow that.

I know.

Okay then... Growling extremely colorful profanities, I unlocked the door and stepped aside as they all piled in the room, jumping onto my bed and cuddling Bun-Bun to my chest.

"Can I ask why you are barging into my room?" I snapped, a little rudely.

"Barging? You've been avoiding us all weekend!" Nathan exclaimed, but Rexy put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a look.

"We can't, none of us, understand what this must be doing to you Addy, we can't," Mace said seriously, "But we're supposed to be your friends, at least let us try."

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" I looked up at the ceiling.

"We're not asking you to," Mace countered, "We just don't want you to go through this by yourself. Please, I really don't want to keep talking mushy, my girlfriend might think I'm gay." He joked, I laughed, and Nathan and Rexy joined in nervously, seeing that I was finally laughing.

"Alright, alright, alright, we're all to macho for this kinda crap, that's drown our sorrows in funny cartoons, dimwitted humor, and good ol' fart jokes." I grinned.

"Hear, hear!" Mace shouted, jumping up.

"You mean, 'aye, aye'." Rexy stuck out her tongue.

"Come on, babe, let's go for a ride." Nathan said with a wide grin, holding out his hand for me. I took it with a small smile.

"Let us play like the dumb witty comedians to which we aspire." He linked arms with me.

"Heck yes!" Maybe tomorrow won't be so bad.

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I woke up and untangled myself from the various limbs around me and stumbled out to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and groaned loudly, I looked like CRAP. I reentered my room, grabbed my things, tripped over Nathan's head on my way out and up in the shower. Knowing that Rexy would almost literally die if she didn't have a hot shower, I did not take my time and jumped out fairly quickly and finished my bathroom routine. With a shadow of gloom over my head I walked back into my room with a grim look on my face.

"WAKE UP!" I shouted, making everyone jump from my floor.

"Whhhhhaaaaat?" Nathan groaned, still kind of miffed that I had forbidden him to sleep naked at my house. Five words for you: NOT EVEN GOING TO HAPPEN.

"I can smell breakfast, and we have school." I said, hitting him with a pillow. "Up you get, first one up gets the shower." That got them all up, but the boys were no match for Rexy's savageness.

"I guess this sucks for you Mace." I said, patting him on the back.

"What why?" He whimpered.

"Because you still smell fairly decent, and Nathan can't go a day without a shower, or we all suffer." I grinned.

"Oh HAHA Addy." Nathan sniffed.

"She's right you know," Mace admitted.

"It's true." I walked downstairs. Breakfast passed quickly, with alot of jokes and quips, but underneath it all I was distracted. It's horrible knowing that I'm alone in this, my mind whirled as I stepped into the passenger seat. My friends can say they'll be there, but they just don't know. It's not something you can empathize with, or even comprehend, unless you've been through it. It's the worst feeling in the world, and on top of it, no one believes you, everyone turns they're back on you. You're alone. Alone, alone, alone. ALWAYS. Because no one can understand. And it sucks.

Don't be so dramatic.

You KILLED the moment!

What moment?

My wallowing in self-pity moment!

Yeah, well, somebody had to do it.

I hate you.

The feeling's mutual, I assure you.

I'd stick my tongue out at you, if you weren't in my head that is.

Yeah, yeah.

I closed my eyes, Nathan was driving us to school today... school... I groaned mentally. I clenched my fingers, which were starting to shake, in my lap. I could feel the blood drain from my face. Nobody spoke until we arrived in the parking lot, when Nathan leaned over, squeezing my hand and whispered, "You don't have to do this, love."

I took a deep breath and looked up at the looming school, "Yes. I do." I stepped out of his car, hitching my bag over my shoulder and walked toward the steps of the school, my heart pumped painfully in my throat. Rexy put her arm around my shoulders, and the four of us walked through the doors into the lions den.

People were staring. Understatement. Even the WALLS were staring, whispering, talking about me as though I'm deaf. It's a comforting feeling.

Allow me, SARCASM.

Very nice.

Thank you.

You're welcome. I stopped in my tracks, and stared at Matt back, my hand tingling slightly. He squeezed my hand as he passed by. I gulped, and braced myself further, Bekka was coming over. But to my surprise, she didn't say a word. She just stopped in front of me and extended her hand. I stared at it for a second before shaking it cautiously. That seemed to be all she wanted and she walked away after that. Wow.

For sure.

Don't say that.

Why not?

Because it's lame.

Fine.

Alright then. I glanced up at my friends, who are all taller than me damn them, and took a deep breath, lets get this day OVER with. My friends hugged me tightly as they left me at my class. Only Ms. Cross was there, she looked up at me, reached over and squeezed my hand. I smiled at her, thinking of my unborn sibling, and sitting down in my usual seat. My hands aren't shaking as much, I heard chatter and laughter as the room filled. But, strangely enough I was less bothered by it as I thought I would be. I looked at the people I've barely spoken too, or enough noticed, and realized that I just didn't care what they thought, or maybe, they didn't care at all. I have great friends, an enemy who called a truce, a family who looks out for me, who cares what these people say? I think that it's taken me this long to learn that. I know that it was different in Lincoln, but I barely know these people, and as Dr. Seuss says, "Be yourself because the people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind,".

You have Dr. Seuss quotes at the top of your head.

Well... Yeah.

You are a strange person Adeline Rosch.

I know. I'm deep.

In your own odd little way, I suppose.

But I am none the less. I should be a poet-- OR BETTER YET, something I'm already good at, A BROODING ARTIST. Brilliant.

Yes. Superb.

Pfft. Don't mock me I'm having a life-changing moment here.

Fine.

Anyways, as I kept not pay attention to Ms Cross talking about Hamlet and avoided the fleeting glances in my directions, I glanced over at Matt who was leaning against his right hand, hid jet black hair falling messily into his eyes, fiddling with a pencil in his left, every once in a while doodling on his notes. My eyes traced his jawline, and up to his beautiful-- OH MY GOSH.

WHAT!

I figured out the color of his eyes!

What?

Seafoam green!

What?

Seafoam green! The color of his eyes is seafoam green!

Congratulations.

YES.

SARCASM.

HEY! You're not allowed to you the Sarcasm sign against me!

WELL IT TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!

FINE.

FINE.

FINE! Sweet Jebesus, can't have one moment... effing shiza... not even... good lord... Moving on, I stared at Matt's SEAFOAM GREEN eyes for a few seconds, before looking up at Ms. Cross. No baby bump yet, I guess. Maybe a little. But juuust barely. I have a little brother or sister in there. Jebesus, that's crazy. And a cousin on the way. Golly. So many children so little time, just kidding.

You are SO weird.

Pretty much, yes.

Wow.

What?

I expected you to get mad.

Nope.

Oh. Well then... okay.

Okay. I glance over and look at Matt again, studying his face. Man he is pretty... mmm...

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Well. The day's almost over. I survived. And they say the first step is the hardest.

Isn't that an AA saying?

I dunno, maybe.

That's just weird that you know that.

I know all lot of things. So?

So, where do you get all this information.

I dunno.. The point is, I survived classes, lunch and just finished the LAST of my paintings, oh heck yes, and I feeling pretty okay. Completely and undeniably not as bad as Prom night. That was a freaking disaster. Never doing THAT again, that's for sure. I walked down the halls toward the entrance feeling pretty damn good. June didn't win this time, in fact far from it. I can't even tell you the number of people coming up to me to tell me either, "I'm so sorry," or "hang in there," or something along those lines. I thought that this day was going to be horrible. But I guess I misjudged the peoples of West Wood High, even Bekka, now that was WEIRD.

"BOO!"

"MOTHER FUCKER! SHIT MATT DON'T DO THAT!" I swore loudly, smacking his shoulder with a good amount of strength.

"Ouch!" He whined, rubbing where I smacked him.

"Oh you so deserved that." I rolled my eyes.

"You don't have to hit so hard." He complained.

"Don't be a pansy, Matty."

"That really hurt."

"You must be gay, I didn't see you at painting, did you actually stay out of trouble for one day." I grinned.

"First off, I'm not in trouble ALL the time, secondly; if you call me gay again, I'm'a hafta prove you otherwise." He smirked, slinging an arm around my shoulders.

"Not in trouble, please," I scoffed, shoving him away from me, "And haven't you said that before? See now, you keep saying that and, how did you put it... oh yes, 'no apocalypse'? Come on Matt, as I've said you don't have the--"

...

Matt kissed me, Matt is kissing me, and I'm kissing him BACK. He slipped his hand through my hair and pulled me closer-- and then he pulled away, quite suddenly, slid me a grin, then just... walked away. Oh.. my... holy... mother of... I... ... ...

Addy?

Addy!

...

ADDY!

...

OH CRAP I THINK SHE'S GONE CATATONIC! ADDY!

Matt... just... kissed... I... I...

... Addy...?

Oh my God.

... What is it hun?

I like Matt.

What...?

HOLY EFFING DAMN I LIKE MATTHEW SILENT.

Took you long enough.

HOLY HELL.

I've been trying to tell you!

I KNOW.

You never listened.

I KNOW.

Hate to say I told you so.

No you don't. Holy crap... son of a... well damn.

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Okay, so I've officially decided not to freak out, not working quite as I had hoped, but that's okay. It's nice to recap that fantastic kiss over and over again, since it happened till now at 10:00 PM, maybe then I'll get sick of it, forget about it and move on, because lets face it: Me and Matt? Not even gonna happen. Not in a million freaking years. But it's doubtful I'll forget about that kiss. It was better than Aaron's kiss. It must be hereditary, or something like that. Mmm... that boy... with his messy hair, his strong jaw, those man guns of his we call arms, those beautiful... amazing... eyes of his... mmmh... Oh god I gotta get out of the house. I leaped from my bed, slipped on my shoes, grabbed a jacket and split, kissing my dad on the cheek on my way out. "Bye Daddy, going for a walk."

"Okay, bye hunny, don't forget that Angie's coming over tomorrow, so be there, we're going to have a chat, okay?" Oh that'll be lovely. Fun, fun, fun. Me, my dad, and my knocked up English teacher havin' a heart to heart. Yes.

"Sure, dad, if you say so." I mumbled walking down the sidewalk, toward the park a couple blocks down. Oh damn, I should have brought Biscuit. I did the facepalm thing and continued the dark street. Damn it's cold, I pulled on my jacket and wrapped my arms around my chest. Cold as it may be, however, keeps my hormones in check, and let me tell yah, that is a very good thing at this point. Hormones make me a wee bit crazy. Yeah... Anyways. I shivered slightly as I walked down the cobble path to the duck pond where I sat, gazing out at the water praying the local security man doesn't report me or zap me with a tazor. That would be bad.

THAT WOULD BE AWESOME.

Of course you would think that.

What's that supposed to me?

You're a psycho.

Oh... well that's true. I mean I am part of you.

Oh you suck.

I know you do.

MOVING ALONG NOW. I breathed deeply, thanking God it wasn't raining, that would have SUCKED.

"Hey."

"MOTHER OF JOSEPH. Is it really that pertinent to sneak up on my every time you see me?" I snapped, putting my hand over my heart, and glared up at Matt. "What d'you want."

"Is it really such a crime to be concerned when I see my lovely neighbor walk out of the house in the middle of the night?" He said mocking a hurt expression.

"First of all, it's not the middle of the night, it's barely ten o'clock. And secondly, some might consider that stalking." I joked.

"I'm not stalking. Don't be a silly apple pie." He grinned.

"Um... it's chocolate cake, thank you," I stuck out my tongue.

"My bad." I met his eyes for a second, then turned away. Not a good idea Addy, seriously not a good idea. Awkward...

"Well... this is quite interesting." Matt muttered.

"And what's that?"

"Well, after I asked you to be my date for the ball you kind of freaked out and started hitting me, I kiss you and expected worse, but not even a comment." He glances at me, looking like he was bracing himself.

"I..." I groaned and stood. "You are so not making this easy..."

"What does that mean!" He stood and chased after me as I walked speedily away.

"Well, let's think about this for a moment." I said tapping my chin and kept walking. "I'm a hormonal teenage female, who's only human, and that kiss was pretty amazing, and it would make my life soooo much easier if we never mention it again. Ever." I said, staring determinedly at the ground.

"Woah, woah, woah,--" He grabbed my arm and pulled me around, "--what?" He smiled widely.

"Oh God I can't believe I said that out loud." I moaned sat down on the nearest thing, the swing, and put my face in my hands.

"Hey, hey--" He whispered kneeling in front of me. "--Whassa matter?" He pulled my hands gently from my face.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I mumbled, staring down at my palms, which he still held in his, tracing circles with his thumbs.

"Look at me," He said, "Look at me!" He chuckled lifting my chin, pressing his lips against mine, running his fingers in my hair. I leaned against him enthusiastically, wrapping my arms around his neck. I suddenly realized who I was MAKING OUT WITH, and stepped away.

"What are you doing?" He murmured, brushing my hair away from my face.

"You're being totally, completely unfair, you know that," I muttered, as he kissed me again.

"And why is that," He trailed kisses up my jawline.

"Matt!" I said, jumping up.

"Whaaat?" He groaned standing up in front of me.

"Do you realize what we're doing?" I cried, waving my arms between us.

"I was under the impression I was kissing you and it was good." He shrugged.

"That's precisely the problem, I'm Addy, you're Matt, we've hated each other since I got here," I rambled.

"Addy?" He cut in with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah?" I mumbled.

"I like you, okay, I do, and I have for awhile. Does that help?"

"Huh?" Now I'm confused.

"I. LIKE. YOU. Since before Halloween." He clarified, grinning now. Then I did something only every rational teenage girl with a crush would do. I kissed him. He was surprised at first, but he responded with enthusiasm. It was so amazing-- vanilla and cinnamon, seafoam green eyes, mysterious smile-- OH MY GOD I THOUGHT THOSE LIPS WERE FAMILIAR, FREAKING ASSHOLE. I pulled away from him and smacked him upside the head.

"OW. What the hell was that for!" He growled.

"That was for dressing up like batman and kissing me while I was totally out of it you JERK!" I snapped, flipping around and walking away.

"HEY! Don't you walk away from me!" He called, grabbing my wrist.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me!" I said.

"There's a reason I didn't tell you, because you would have killed me if you had found out and I didn't know you were out of it, and I wanted to know what it-- I mean I--" he trailed off.

"Are you blushing." I smiled.

"NO!" He said indignantly.

"Awh, how very innocent pre-pubescent little boy of you!" I laughed.

"Oh, shut up Blondie."

"You shut up," I shoved him playfully.

"Oh yeah?" He grinned wolfishly at me. Uh-oh. He leaned over, and I was immediately afraid.

"Matt?" I said cautiously, and squealed when he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. "MATT! MATT PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT!!" I screamed.

"Geez, shut up Addy, you're going to wake up the whole neighborhood." He laughed.

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY MISTER." I snarled in a whisper.

"Really? I think it is!" He put me down and face me grinned. "I'm going to kiss you whether you like it or not." He said leaning in.

"That's okay, I don't mind, I'll sick Johnny on you later," I whispered, and he pressed his lips on mine-- and it was perfect.