Over The Edge.

Word Count:2331

Ever since I was a child, my biggest fear has been heights. I hate tall buildings, I can't stand roller coasters, and I have never even thought about living in a two story house. I don't know what it is, but it never calmed down for me.

Every time I was some place that wasn't actually the ground, I just freaked out. My heart began racing and my thoughts jump to nightmares I've had of falling and falling, a never ending dream I don't like to think about. Before I knew it, the nightmares became more gruesome. I would fall asleep thinking about something nice and joyful, and then wake up with broken, bloody bones on my mind.

I never went to see a doctor, I never talked to anybody about, except for my mother and my husband. I was far too embarrassed to tell my friends or family members about it, so I kept quiet and asked Mom and Jack to not tell anyone either. Sure, fear of heights is common with many people, but that doesn't mean I feel comfortable freaking out and crying in front of people.

"Are you ready, honey?" Jack, my incredibly ,understanding husband asked me as he helped me into my coat before bending down and planting a feather-light kiss on my neck.

"Won't you tell me where we're going tonight?" I turned and asked him. I saw a wicked gleam enter his eyes, only meaning that he was up to know good. Earlier that day, he had called me at the office and told me to dress up tonight and that we had a date.. I wasn't sure where we were going, what we were doing, or if we'd be gone long. He refused to tell me anything.

"Not a chance. Tonight will be a surprise, so just enjoy it?" He tilted my chin up and kissed me as I thought of the things that could be running through his head.

"Let's go." He opened the front door for me and I walked out. The cold, windy Chicago air met my skin and I shivered.

When in the car, Jack smiled at me before heading out to wherever we were going...

I still had no clue.

______

I never even liked looking up at tall buildings. I've only been in an elevator once, and I hate taking the stairs because I know that I'm going higher and higher, each step that I take.

My mother once tried to get me to go on a child's roller coaster when I was seven. I said no over and over again, and I even started crying and begging to go home, and even when we did leave, I kept crying. I guess I let my mind wander around, and eventually I would think of the nastiest, ugliest, and most painful ways in which I could fall and die from being so high up.

My hands would sweat, and my stomach would feel horrible just at the mention of being anywhere higher than five feet from the ground.

I work at home as a baker, baking cakes, cookies, and all that jazz. I sometimes get tired of it, but at least my job doesn't require me leaving much or having to go anywhere but my kitchen and desk.

I have had to organize my life around my fear.

And I still do.

____

"Well, this was quite a surprise. I wasn't expecting to come to such a nice restaurant," I said as I wiped my napkin across my lips.

Turns out, Jack brought me to Deltorro's for dinner. I loved this place, even though we've only eaten here once. It was magnificent.

"I'm glad, although I still have one surprise up my sleeve." Jack said as he leaned closer to me over the table. I wondered what it could be.. Usually Jack wasn't so secretive or anything, so just the change of his mood was a surprise.

"And will you tell me this time?" I asked, smiling my most seductive smile, in hopes of him telling me, of course.

He laughed and said, "Not a chance, babe." He smiled and I knew that he knew what I was trying to do.. "C'mon, we have to go now." He backed his chair up and quietly waited for me to gather my coat and purse before taking my hand and leading me to the door.

_____________

"Come on Adrianne!" My friends said to me as we all got out of the van. I wasn't sure where we were at, but I knew I heard a waterfall...

"Um, where are we? What are we doing?" I asked. I could hear my own nerves jumping out of my voice as I spoke.

"We're going swimming!" Lacey said as she pulled her shirt off of to reveal a swimsuit.

I didn't bring any kind of clothing or swimsuit to go in, which seemed like a good excuse for me to leave.

"Well, I wa-" I began, but my friend Samantha cut in.

"Don't give us any excuse that you don't have any swim suit with you.. We already stole yours from your house!" She grinned at me.

Behind her, I noticed people were jumping down into the water.. Were we somewhere up high?

I got knots in my stomach immediately , and a lump rose in my throat quicker than I would have ever imagined.

"I don't wa-" I began, but again I was cut off, this time by Lacey.

"No, no, you have to! It's beautiful here! Come on!" She walked behind me and began pushing me closer to the edge of the rocks. I couldn't bring myself to look down, but judging by the top of the waterfall that was father in front of me, I knew we were high.

My fingers locked into tiny fists, and my body became cold and frighteningly still.

"No. I'm not going in." I had to force myself to talk.

To me, when I looked at it, it seemed silly for a seventeen year old to be this scared and afraid of a little....jump.. But that wasn't want my body or mind was telling me. It was screaming at me to run for it.

"Addie, don-"

"I'm not feeling well. I'm going home." And with that, I nearly ran the way home, even though it was miles away...

Never would I have jumped my way to the water.

______

"Oh, Jack! Why do I have to wear this blindfold?" I asked.

When we had gotten to the car after dinner, he ordered me to wear the damn thing, even though I said no. After telling me to put it on again, I did so, not wanting to start any little argument with him.

It'd been about thirty minutes that we were driving ,and I had no idea what so ever, of where we were or what time it was.

"We're here." He said. His voice sounded a bit tight, but he tried to play it off by kissing me lightly.

Before I knew it, I heard my door being opened, and felt his hand lightly take hold of my upper arm as he hauled me out and onto the ground.

"Now," We began walking. "I need you to trust me okay?" He asked, leading me into a quieter place other than the noisy streets. People's laughter, voices, and car's drifter away from my ears we, I'm guessing, entered a shop or something.

Trusting Jack has never been a problem. I always felt safe with him, and I knew he'd do anything to protect me.

I nodded my head yes, and we began walking again.

That's when I head a low 'bing. It sounded oddly familiar to an... an elevator.

"Wait, Jack!-" I swallowed and pulled back away from his grasp, but he tightened his hold and brought me to his side.

"You said, Adrianne. You said you trust me." And before I could back away again, I felt myself pulled into the tight little room, and heard the doors slowly close.

My heartbeat became more frantic, and my entire body became numb. Years since I've been in one of these.. I felt tears threatening to escape from behind the blindfold, but I refused to let them go.

'Jack is with you, Jack is with you. I continued saying to myself in my head. In a way, it helped.. But then thoughts of the elevator breaking down, and falling to the floor in a heart-stopping crash made my fears attack me again.

I can't do this.

"Jack, please... Please, let's just go home.." I begged in a low whisper. "Don't, please, let's just go..." My voice was too weak and my throat was so tight.. I couldn't speak anymore.

I felt his arms snake around my waist and his lips press against my ear as he began humming.

My slightly sweaty hands grasped onto his arms, and my nails nearly penetrated his skin.

Right when I thought I'd break down, I head the doors open again, and Jack then led me out. I still didn't know where I was, or what the point of this was.

"Excuse us," I heard Jack say to someone. As we walked, I noticed my feet stopped moving,until Jack gently nudged me with his hand. "It's okay Addie, I'm here, I won't let anything happen to you. I love you."

And the blindfold was gone.

I blinked for a second before I realized we were in a small glass deck.... The Chicago Sky Deck. We were literally standing on glass in the sky, nothing around us to hold on to, nothing to look at except the sky and the rest of Chicago.

I tried to step back, as my heart literally stopped beating and I couldn't breathe, but Jack held me where I was. He was forcing me to look out, to see everything that I've feared for so long. My back was pressed against his front, so I couldn't turn to run or hide even if I tried.

When I looked around me in the glass room, I saw it was just me and him, no one was around us.

"Don't." Jack said. I guess he thought I was looking for a way out, which I was..

I felt hot tears run down my cheeks, and I bit my lower lip p to keep from sobbing. I couldn't take this.. It was all too much. The thoughts of the glass breaking and shattering filled my mind..

"Jack, please, please, I can't- I don't want to be up here, I want to go-" I was near sobbing now. My stomach became tighter and tighter, and I thought I'd probably throw up now. I wiped the tears from my face and tried to breathe again, but I couldn't.

Why was he doing this? Why would he ever think to do this to me?!

I felt rage and betrayal set within me as I thought of this. My eyes landed on a building across from us and I quickly shut my eyes, refusing to open them again.

I was on the verge of dropping to my knees and begging for us to go. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be up here, I just wanted to leave and never come back.

"Open your eyes, love. For me, please." Jack whispered in my ear. As much as I wanted to do it for him, I couldn't because of me. I was afraid of heights, terrified of them since I was a little girl.

I tried to turn around, so that I could at least bury my face in Jack's jacket, anything to get away from the sight, but he wouldn't let me. He kept hold of me as I was, turned towards the dark blue sky, the taller and smaller buildings high and low.. and the cars that were driving beneath us. I didn't even look down there, but I bet it would have been hard to see at least one car down there.

Again, I began to cry, silently and as quietly as I could. My nerves were broken, my body numb, my blood frozen, and my mind swollen with deadly thoughts.

"Please, Adrianne. Just this once." Jack asked again. His voice was so low, I could barely hear him.

If I didn't, what then? Would he be angry with me?..

"I'd face my fear for you.. Won't you do the same?" His lips skimmed my neck, in a loving manner.

I thought about his question, and then I took a deep breath.

"If I do this, just this time, and only for a second.... Can we go home and never come back?" I asked him, all seriousness in my voice.

My eyes were burning from the tears, yet my eyes were still clamped shut. My body was shaking, my stomach seemed to be empty of everything, and I was still holding onto Jack's arm with all my strength. I was so scared, so so scared..I couldn't believe I was even up here. It felt like another one of my nightmares. I was in a suspended glass room, where was the safety in that?

I couldn't think of any answer.

"Just do it this once, and I promise we can go home. You can even where the blindfold on the way down." He chuckled, but the thought comforted me..

His arms held me tighter, and I felt myself shrink in them. He was letting me know he was there, telling me that I was safe...although I didn't feel safe all the way up here..

Just real quick, and then we can leave..

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but couldn't. A few tears rushed down again before I could stop them as my heart beat with anticipation. Just..real..fast..

1..

2...

My eyes opened before I could count myself to three.

I winced at the sight I was greeted with. Again, tall buildings..Except there seemed to be more. I could see the highway far along, and I noticed that I did indeed see cars over there... but 'over there' wasn't looking down..

Behind me, I felt Jack still, making me do the same.

What was it? What was happening?

"Jack wh-"

"Thank you, Addie. Thank you.." His voice seemed.. shocked? Surprised? Did he think that I wouldn't have done it?

I felt a sense of pride and courage in that, the fact that I was facing my fear right this moment.. But it still didn't stop the nervousness.

I sighed, and wiped at a tear before returning my hand back to Jack's arm and holding on tighter than before. I was feeling so many things... I felt satisfied because I did it for Jack, I was afraid, well for the obvious.. I felt sick just as before... But what I wasn't expecting was this boost of love I felt for my husband. He held me and comforted me, letting me know he was there, for this and for everything. He never let me go and he never drifted away from my clawing touch. I loved him more than anything.

"No, thank you Jack.." That was all I could say at the moment as my throat tightened. I felt like crying because I was up here, but also because Jack, the love of my life, helped me face my biggest fear.

"Want to go now?" He asked a moment later, kissing my bare shoulder. I nodded before he could finish the question, making him chuckle lightly.

But before we went out of this scary and terrifying glass room, I looked down.

I could barely see anything from my blurry, tear-filled eyes. I was up here, in the sky, high up for me to see Chicago and it's belongings. I would have never thought that I would be here..Had I known that we were coming up here to this place, I would have ran.

I turned to Jack, who smiled and kissed my forehead before wiping away the few tears that left my eyes.

Tonight was ....terrifyingly amazing..

But I don't think it erased my fear..

My fear of heights.