Tragic Turns

Chapter 13

Muse: Pantera

“Well?” mom questions. Behind her Barbie and Dumbo were giving me sad faces, trying to guilt me out of unveiling the truth.

“I really think they should tell you,” I say nervously.

She turns to them and gives a look that says “I’m waiting!”

“Lain please,” Elle whispers, tears slowly streaming down her face. She doesn’t cry when our dad leaves but she’ll cry when she needs to lay on the charm? How nice of her.

“Gerald?” my mother asks.

“Me and Elle were going to surprise you with, um, your birthday present. And Lain just wanted to spoil the surprise. Isn’t that right, Elain?” He may act dumb, but I had to give the guy credit with admitting he was a great liar.

My mom looked confused for a second and then a breathtaking smile replaced her formerly worried features. She believed the lie, how typical.

“Lain, I love surprises, why spoil the fun?” Great I’m the bad guy now. Her eyes glittered from her newly found joy as she turned towards Gerald, “Thank-you! Don’t tell me, I want to be surprised!” She looks at his plate of uneaten food and asks, “Why haven’t you eaten?”

“Oh, I was too busy tell Lain ‘bout your birthday” Once again… nice save.

“Well I guess I’ll leave ya’ll alone.” Wait, did I seriously just say ‘ya’ll’?

“Ya’ll?” Elle questions, raising her left eyebrow.

“Ugh! I didn’t mean it! Gosh! I’ve just been hanging out with—“I basically choked on my own words “—why am I explaining myself!? It’s just—ugh!—whatever.” I take a deep breath, “I am going to my room.” I look around the room and see three faces with expressions that suggest both shock and amusement.

“Is it your time of the month?” Dumbo jokes.

“What!? You are a moron! Why do I even talk to you people?” I shriek.

I run to my room and slam the door and blast some Pantera—my angry music.

What am I going to do? Should I just flat out tell my mom that Elle and Gerald are involved or should I wait until either he breaks up with her, she finds out, or they tell her themselves. The latter is a long shot I suppose, but still. I don’t see why I have this thrust upon my shoulders and they just expect me to be cool with it.

Maybe I should just stick with my second idea, my mom is not a dumb person and she has been proven to be observant at most times. She will eventually figure it out, question is though—when?

“Whoa,” I say looking around at my surroundings. I’m in a light room, no walls. Just light.

I sit around for awhile, and some very random things happen. One being, me speaking to my third grade teacher. Where did that come from? I know for a fact that this is a dream, it just feels like it.

The room turned dark all of a sudden and I saw my dad. He looked so evil, his dark blue eyes glitter with hate as her stares directly at me.

I scream as I awake. That is the last time I fall asleep with Pantera blaring. I feel as if I am forgetting something though. I can’t put my finger on it but that dream triggered something. Hmmm….

I grab my phone of the nightstand, unplug it from its charger and glance at the clock.

4:23.

Great what am I supposed to do until school? School. Ugh, I swear sometimes I worry myself with my forgetfulness.

I jump out of bed and run to the shower. Afterwards I try and decide what I should wear. I end up choosing some shorts with a Faith No More t-shirt and my beat up converse. I decide to try and draw as I let my hair dry.

I really wish I was more of a person of words, like Elle. I wish I was an excellent writer so I could get my point across in a more straightforward way. But instead I draw and paint my feelings. I didn’t want to risk getting paint all over me so I just grabbed some charcoal and a medium sized canvas.

When I was nearly done I look at my phone and find that it is nearly seven AM. My sister hadn’t woken yet and I didn’t plan on waking her. If she doesn’t want to be a good sister, why should I? I think it’s a fair trade.

She starts stirring at 7:19 and once she glances at the clock she runs out of the room to the bathroom. Meanwhile, I walk to the kitchen to make myself some cereal.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” she screams.

“You just looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to bother you,” I retort in an acerbic way.

“Must I always be the responsible one?” I roll my eyes to that ludicrous comment.

“You don’t look presentable,” she comments.

“I don’t care about what others think of me anymore. No more makeup and I’m dressing comfortable today so I really don’t care.” I snap, “And besides I’d rather look like this,” I say as I pull my hair up, “than like you.”

“That’s so dumb.” I don’t see why I ever looked up to her, she is rude and mean just so incredibly frustrating. I feel bad though because the second I thought that she readjusted her faux arm.

“I heard you speaking in your sleep.” Not really, but I just wanted to see what I could get out of this.

She looks confused. “What did I say?”

“Just mumbling something about Dumbo,” I say.

“I wish you wouldn’t call him that, it hurts his feelings,”

“Why should I care?” I look into her eyes and I see nothing beautiful about them. There just icicles now, before they were just cold.

She mumbles something under her breath.

“Bye, I’m leaving,” I say as I hear a knock on the door. Christopher had suggested we walk together and I didn’t have the heart to say no.

“Hi,” I mutter.

“What’s wrong with you?” I didn’t like his tone when he said that but I just ignored that and kept walking.

“Well?” I hate it when people don’t just drop it.

“Nothing!” I screech.

People kept starring at me as we walked towards the school. I didn’t like it.

“Hi, are you new here?” I heard that God knows how many times. I walk to the office and retrieve my schedule and make my way to the auditorium to wait for the bell.

I sit alone and try to memorize my schedule, hoping I will remain unbothered.

I glance up and see a familiar face. I couldn’t remember who she was until I heard someone shout out to her, “Hey Keira!” I remember now! She was the girl I saw when I walked around town with Christopher and his friends, the one who was hanging out with all of those older kids.

“What are you looking at?” Her friend sneers at me. Might as well make my first impression now.

“I don’t know,” I make a disgusted face, “and I don’t think I want to know.”

“Your mom.” Such creativity.

“That has got to be the worlds worst comeback, hands down. Where did you hear that?” I tap my chin for dramatic effect. “Family Guy?”

“Your dad.” And that’s a step up?

“My dad’s dead.”

“Oh, ermm.” She turns on her heels and storms away from me.

This. Sucks.

It was the sixth period of the day and I beyond annoyed. First days suck; you hear virtually the same rules in every class. I haven’t really had a full conversation yet, only simple yes or no answers.

“…Mandy Walker?”

“Here!” Role call sucks too.

“Okay well, I'm Mrs. Flores and I will be your History teacher for the rest of the year. She spoke nicely, it was the traditional Georgian Accent but her voice was light.

“I want you each to stand up and tell me and the class something about yourself,” My teachers in Ohio liked to do this, completely pointless and not to mention, annoying. And I think everyone else agreed with me too because groans erupted through-out the room.

“You,” She pointed at the girl in a green tank top and instructed her to start.

I was one of the last to go, third to last actually.

“I’m Elain, I go by Lain though and I moved from Ohio.” I sat back down the second the last syllable came out,

“Ohio?” she questions.

“Yes, Ohio.”

“Do you have relatives here?” She asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, my mom,” I say in a drained voice.

“Oh so your mom has lived here for awhile?” Why was this woman so nosy?

“Yes, a few years.” I'm sure my annoyance was clear in my voice.

“What’s her name?” Her brown eyes gleamed with curiosity.

“Amelia Smith.” My answer was clipped.

Heads snapped towards me, no gasps or anything but several people were burning holes through me with their eyes.

“Oh,” This time her voice was not pleasant.

It was official: I hate school.

I had seventh period lunch, and no one I knew was there. Great.

“So, like your mom is the one who is like dating that guy who like just graduated?” Three times this girl said like, she needs to extend her vocabulary before I can have an actual conversation with.

“Just ignore them, I do.” A girl with an Ipod touch, she was starring intently at suggested.

“Thanks,” She nods her head.

I eat my lunch, speaking to no one—not even the Ipod girl whose name I learned was Kristy from my eavesdropping.

The last two classes of the day went by without issues.

As I’m walking out of the school, Elle drives up with an unfamiliar face behind the wheel.

“Do you want a ride?” she asks.

The faded red car was covered in dirt and rust; the exhaust pipe had clouds of dark smoke coming from it. I agreed anyway.

“This is Holly she’s a freshman,” she pointed to the back seat where a girl shyly waved at me. “She’s like ten months older than you, and this is Izzy her sister,” The driver said ‘Hey’ to me and turned to talk to Janelle.

“Why’d you pick me up?” I ask, as I enter the car.

“Just trying to be nice.” Yeah right. She’s just trying to score some cool points with me so I don’t tell mom about her love affair with Dumbo.

“How do you like Metter?” Holly was pretty I suppose, long black hair, dark grey eyes (nearly black), and freckles on her nose and upper cheeks.

“Umm…” I hesitate.

“How I feel exactly,” she laughs.

“Did you grow up here?” I ask, surprised I’m actually interested in what she has to say.

“No we lived in Savannah until I was eleven then moved here,” she explains.

“Do you know what’s up with this girl named Keira? She’s in my grade and I saw her hanging out with some older kids one time.” Something about that girl just put me on edge, as if there was some part of the story I didn’t know. Well I barely knew anything.

“Ah, now that’s a story. Keira hangs with all the burn-out seniors. I know it’s not a big city or anything but there still are a few stoners. But yeah Keira—“

“Bye Holly! Thanks for the ride Izzy! Come on Elain,” Elle calls.

“Uh, I’ll see you tomorrow,” She nods her head in agreement to my previous statement.

As soon as I enter my bedroom I go straight to my drawing to finish, polish it up. I had drawn a still from my dream. My father with the demon eyes and I was going to add it to my growing number of portraits under my bed. Janelle and I had too many clothes, so I couldn’t keep them in the closet.

“Whoa! What it that!” Janelle exclaims pointing at my nightmare.

“Nightmare,” That’s my typical answer whenever she asks a question similar to the one she just asked.

I’m tired right now, been up since 5am its lateen, I just watched Romeo and Juliet. My brain has turned to go but since Gali begged me, I will finish.

After several minutes of silence, hearing only the sounds of the keyboard as she typed and my charcoal, I broke the calm.

“What do you see in him?” I was scared of her reaction; I didn’t want her to be mad. Even though I was extremely angry with my sister I didn’t want to cause anymore unnecessary drama.

“He makes me smile, and when I look at him its like I can see into him. It’s so strange. Believe me; I didn’t ever think this would happen. Tell me two months ago that I was going to fall in love with my mom’s boyfriend and I would have gone hysterical on you. It’s crazy but love is irrational. Love is like pi- natural, irrational and very important.” Her face broke out in a grin that could be compared to a sunset on a beach of Hawaii.

“Don’t tell me that, you sound so cliché! Love is irrational? You don’t love him Elle, you just think you do. But really, you don’t. And he doesn’t either! If he loved you he would’ve broke up with mom instead of making you watch them together. If he even cared about her he wouldn’t make her think they were still together. If you cared for him you wouldn’t have let him hurt everyone else he supposedly cares for. And Elle, he doesn’t care for anyone. That’s why he has no problem hurting everyone involved.” I didn’t want to get in a heated argument because it seems as if that is all we ever do but I’ve been keeping my cool lately and I feel its time to let her feel the full force of her actions.

“Lain, you know nothing! You think you do but you don’t! You haven’t heard our conversations you don’t know what he tells me! You don’t know what mom thinks of him! You don’t know what he thinks of me! Stop being such a know-it-all and be supportive or just stay out of it! I don’t need you to be involved with every aspect in my life! You’re just jealous that no one loves you!” She vents.

“Why do you that? You’re the one who keeps putting me in the middle! I can’t take sides, Elle. I don’t agree with either side. You’re the one who got me in this situation! I’m the only one making sense now! Amelia sees no wrong in her actions and neither do you. Dumbo is too worried about his needs to see what he’s doing to us! He doesn’t give a damn, Elle! He doesn’t! It’s all about Gerald in his mind and he won’t care if his needs get in the way of a family. Me and mom are the only people you have left and I don’t think you realize that!” I scream, “So stop being selfish and look around at what your, ‘irrational love’ is doing to me! You guys always forget about me and my feelings and you think you can just stomp all over me, like I don’t matter!” I finish.

“How is this hurting you Elain? I don’t get it! It’s not nearly as big a deal as your making it!” She has no brain!

“I'm not going to repeat myself, Janelle. Just shut-up.” I order in a monotone voice.

Love may be irrational. Maybe her feelings are true. Maybe his are too. That doesn’t change the fact that his will hurt everyone involved and in the end….. Is it really worth it?