There's Only So Much I Can Take

“Is she okay?” I heard someone ask.
I blinked my eyes open to see Max’s face right on top of mine.
“What happened?” I asked getting up slowly to find myself in Ronnie and my apartment.
Ronnie, Bryan, Robert, and Omar were surrounding the couch staring at me with relived eyes. Max too wore relived eyes but he looked ready to throw up.
“You fainted after Ronnie told you that there was no money left in your bank account.” Robert told me once he noticed that Max had no desire to have to tell me that.
“Ronnie did what?!” I barked narrowing my eyes at Ronnie.
“I drained our bank account on drugs.” Ronnie admitted scratching his head.
“No, no you are joking!” I declared.
Ronnie shook his head vigorously. He had to be joking. I hadn’t had time to get my new job so I could make the new back account. This wasn’t supposed to happen yet. It wasn’t even supposed to happen period. Why couldn’t Ronnie just get drunk like normal men, or even cheat?
“Out!” I yelled at Max, Bryan, Robert and Omar.
The four rushed out the door not wanting to see the argument we were going to have. Mostly they didn’t want to see two wonderful fighters go up against each other especially when one was a girl. I didn’t even want to see this but Ronnie had to be taught a lesson. Right now he was sober so he would have to learn it now.
“Why would you do this to me? To us?” I asked looking at the floor as I continued to sit on the couch.
“The drugs, they’re just so good. They make me feel normal.” Ronnie whispered sitting next to me.
“Sometimes I think you really need to go to rehab. This time I know you need to go to rehab. A man that can control his drug addiction doesn’t spend seven billion dollars on drugs in one day.” I told him.
Ronnie opened his mouth but closed it quickly. He took a quick glance at me but knew I wasn’t done so he stayed quiet.
“Seven billion dollars that my parents gave us so we could start out on our own after the town house was ruined. We chose an apartment. How do you expect us to pay for rent? I don’t have a job and you go on tour soon. I can’t wait a bunch of months for the check and I haven’t applied anywhere yet.” I told Ronnie.
“What do you want me to do? I’ll do anything!” he asked leaping up in anticipation.
“There’s nothing to do and that’s just it.” I sighed.
“Katie, there has to be something I can do.” Ronnie requested.
“Ronnie, there just isn’t anything to be done! You’ve done something nearly unfixable! We can’t tell my parents and we can’t wait for your tour check! We are s-c-r-e-w-e-d, screwed!” I yelled at him getting up too.
Ronnie whimpered and got back on the couch.
“Yeah, you can sleep out here. Don’t come near my room until you realize how self-centered you’ve been!” I screamed and walked into my room.
“But Katherine - ” Ronnie wailed from behind the door.
I opened it and looked him straight in the eyes. “Ronnie Radke, I’m serious. Don’t come in this room until tonight is up. Don’t even come near the door or there will be consequences to pay. I don’t like you very much right now and there’s not much that you can do that can make up for what you’ve done as I’ve just explained. Unless you can find me a high paying job.” I slammed the door shut in his face before taking to the bed. I didn’t bother taking off my clothes, I just slept in them. It was no big deal.
I heard the apartment door open and shut. Ronnie had left and to where, was something I did not know. All I knew was he wasn’t buying drugs.

“Wake up, Katie!” Ronnie exclaimed like a little boy on Christmas Day shaking me vigorously.
I attempted to push him off of me but he just kept going. “Okay fine, what do you want?”
Ronnie picked me up in his arms and shoved me in the bathroom. “Take a shower and make yourself pretty.”
I rolled my eyes in annoyance as I went into the shower. That boy was so weird sometimes. Despite that I left the shower and straightened my hair in a quick manner. I threw on a purple strapless shirt and a pair of dark wash destroyed denim short shorts before doing some quick make-up.
“Okay I’m ready.” I announced walking out of the room to find E’ggo Lego waffles on a plate with syrup covering them.
“Eat.” Ronnie commanded as he poured us both some orange juice.
There was no doubt Ronnie had something planned that he didn’t want to tell me just yet. At the moment though he was being so much colder than usual. Maybe he had something really romantic planned. There was no way he could soberly be this cold to me unless he had something spectacular planned.
Once I had finished, he threw my dishes into the sink and picked me up again only to drop me into the passenger seat of the car. On the ride to a brick town house there was no talking. All I did was watch trees pass by fast as Ronnie sped down the highway.
He refused to look or talk to me until we were on the doorstep of the house. He looked down at me and gave me a weak smile. “Promise me you’ll forgive me for everything I do in the future and everything I’ve done in the past.”
“Yeah of course, I love you.”
Ronnie grinned and kissed my head. “Thanks baby.”
He rang the doorbell four times and a couple extra times because he got impatient with whoever was supposed to let us in. Eventually he came but by this time Ronnie’s arm was protectively wrapped around my waist.
“Why hello, Ronald.” The man in at least his mid-forties greeted Ronnie. He looked at me and smiled in that disgusting perverted way old rapist men look at little girls.
I snuggled closer to Ronnie and he tightened his grip around my waist. We walked in following the old man who led us to his bedroom.
It was pretty cozy looking. It was a king size with dark red paisley sheets. The carpeting was made to look intelligent as it was a dark cream color. All the wood matched perfectly. No matter what the wood was made into it was a dark oak wood type. It was obvious the man had money and knew what to do with it.
Ronnie let go of me and walked to the white seat between the bay window and bookshelf. He pulled out a book but he didn’t read it, he watched the old man and me.
“My name is Rick. Remember that.” He said looking me up and down before taking a double take and stopping at my breasts.
Rick smiled menacingly at me. He then began to feel me up touching my breasts with care and aggression at the same time. Rick smiled at me and led me to the bed. He got on top of me and continued to feel me up before sliding off all my clothes.
Ronnie had sold me out as a prostitute!
This was the lowest thing he’d ever done. I could not believe this was his idea of a high paying job or something I’d even be interested in. There was no way to get out of it at this point though. Rick was already having his fun while Ronnie sat watching me moan and groan, scream and cry, yell and kick.
I felt degraded and upset. Ronnie knew how much I loathed this dirty work. He was so unrespectable of me sometimes.
Rick finished up. He threw my clothes at me before going to Ronnie to pay for the fun he’d had with me.
Before long I had my clothes on and I as bolting down the steps to the front door with my arms across my chest and tears streaming down my face. Tears weren’t supposed to have come down but I couldn’t help it. I had pretty much raped. I was scared and violated.
My body was shaking madly as I stood next to the Honda. I was tense all over as I continued to cover my chest.
“So how was your first day?” Ronnie asked with a smile on his face.
There was no way he could possibly be asking me this. It was like he expected that I’d had a mind-blowing experience. In my entire life, I’d never thought I’d be a prostitute. Nonetheless I’d imagined I would be the one to make myself the prostitute not be the one surprised by my job.
“It was abhorrent!” I exclaimed using an adjective I’d never thought I’d ever used in my life.
“Whoa, big word; thought you said you’d never use it.” Ronnie commented smiling.
“Same, but this is defiantly the time to use it.”
“You said we needed the money so I assumed you were desperate.” Ronnie shrugged getting into the driver’s seat of the car.
“I’m not that desperate! I have pride and this does not show my pride!” I yelled at him as I sat down in the passenger seat.
Ronnie peeked over at me to see that I was glaring at him.
“Ronald Radke, desperate means weakness and I’m not a weak person! You of all people should know that!” I exclaimed glaring at him. He opened his mouth but didn’t speak. “Just drive!” I growled slumping myself against the window.
Ronnie shut his mouth and continued to drive down the road to our apartment. He didn’t speak a word as he turned a corner onto the road of our penthouse.
The feeling of annoyance stayed in my stomach as I walked out of the car into the apartment building. Ronnie followed behind me. He was smart enough to know not to talk to me and that he should stay around three yards behind me.
Ronnie sat on the couch and flipped on the TV to some music channel. I, on the other hand, went straight to the bathroom and put on one of Ronnie’s big black pull-over sweatshirts. After my appalling experience, there was no way I was showing off my private parts.
“Are you sorry?” I asked sitting next to him.
Ronnie looked at me. “Of course, I thought you really actually wanted an easy job.”
“Alright.”
“I love you, Katherine, I really do.” Ronnie replied smiling down at me.
“Okay.” I commented.
The two of us just sat together watching, yet not really watching the television. We weren’t making any kind of contact at all. There was no reason that we should make contact. There was no reason to make contact. The silence said enough things that really shouldn't go unsaid.
Still I felt so empty after that even silence while I watched/didn't watch the TV with Ronnie next to me. In my mind, I still hadn't really forgiven for the prostitute thing, and I'm pretty sure he knew that. I'm just not sure if he really wants me to tell him I kind of hate me right now. It's one thing to say okay after your beloved tells you he loves you, but it's another story to not forgive someone after they say an apology and you say alright.
Jesus Christ, where did we go wrong?