Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My heart Rest In Pieces 033

I Ain’t No Sissy

“Envy, what’s up with you? You’re usually more talkative than this,” I heard Bert question worriedly, his tone being the thing to snap me out of the trance I had been in.

“Huh? Oh, nothing’s wrong, just thinking.”

“Don’t do that,” Quinn advised, “Thinking is bad for the brain.”

That got a small smile from me and I watched as everyone continued with the conversation they had been having. It didn’t take me long to go back to my out of mind zone, but no one seemed to notice right away this time.

I bit my lip in nervousness and concentration. There was only one thing on my mind, and it was something huge. Every thought that went through my brain was about Ms. Den. Did she really have cancer? Maybe she was just in there visiting someone she knew. But what about a couple days ago when she was having trouble breathing? And it might explain the reasons that she made us do our work quietly instead of lecturing like she enjoyed to.

There was another thing to kink my story though. Usually people who had cancer, even mild things that could be taken care of, were nice and treated every day like it was their last. They didn’t do mundane things like teach at a school and did not treat people like she sometimes could. This was really starting to confuse me.

“Envy,” the deep voice of Drake voiced, his large hand touching my back. I snapped out of it for the second time and looked up at my boyfriend.

“Are you sure there is nothing wrong with you? You seem off today.”

“I’m totally fine,” I said with a smile, which was true, “Like I said before, I’m just thinking.”

“How about a penny for your thoughts then?”

I rolled my eyes, giving the dark skinned boy a look. “My thoughts are way more expensive than a penny. Nice try though.”

The bell that signaled the starting of class rang, making our group shuffle from their morning spots. Another Monday to have to endure, another day of school to suffer through.

As usual, I kissed Drake on the cheek, waved goodbye to everyone, and headed off to my English class. As I trudged through the hallways alone, I stopped abruptly. My mind wondered again to what I had thought only minutes before.

To some people, this wasn’t just another Monday. Today, this could be the last day. Today could be the last time to learn something before a person faded away.

I shivered at the dark realization and kept walking.

When I reached my destination, I noticed that all of the seats had been rearranged so that there were pairs of desks scattered all around the room. Although we were AP students, everyone was huddled around the front of the room, not knowing what to do. You can’t mess with nerds and their seating placement man, it just isn’t right.

“Okay class, here’s what I want you to do,” Mrs. Colt said when she came into the classroom, squeezing through the throng of lost students, “Pick a partner that you want to work with. We’re going to be doing some projects after we finish reading this book.”

I squinted at the large book she held up, the title being The Poisonwood Bible. It sounded… fun, to say the least.

“Well, go on! Pick your partners.”

Everything seemed to be in a rush, not so much pushing and shoving, but people trying to quickly get to their friends before someone else claimed them. I was left in confusion, not sure who I was going to pick. I wasn’t the social butterfly like some people were.

Finally, everyone seemed to have a partner except for a tall boy in a black shirt and dark blue jeans leaning against the wall. His blond hair was swept to one side, sort of framing his unique eyes. The right one was brown, while the other was blue.

“Looks like you and Jeremy will be partners Envy,” Mrs. Colt said, seating herself at her desk, “Go sit down somewhere everyone.”

We all did as instructed, Jeremy picking our seat in the way back. It wouldn’t have been my ideal location, seeing as my eye sight wasn’t the best, but I wasn’t going to complain.

“Um, I’m Envy, but I’m sure you already know that, seeing as we’re in the same class,” I said in a small voice, kind of at a loss. Jeremy’s body language was totally unwelcoming to me, his arms folded across his chest, facing forward, shoulders tense. Why did I have a feeling that this was going to be a reluctant partnership?

“Yeah, I know who you are,” he almost whispered, and his voice seemed very… sultry, and not like he was trying either. I blushed deeply, turning away from him. I did not need to be thinking those thoughts when I was happily in a relationship.

“It’s nice to make your acquaintance,” I was able to mumble out before our teacher started giving us a brief summary of the book.

Once class was over, Jeremy was the first one out of the class, even though he had been in the back. I frowned at his action; I didn’t think it was that bad working with me.

But the grumpy teenager was the last thing on my mind when I stepped out of the doorway and realized where I was going. Physics with Ms. Den, someone who confused me completely. I braced my shoulders and walked with confidence into the classroom, finding my seat next to Mikey.

“Hey V,” the boy greeted, his glasses off as he cleaned them on his shirt.

“Hey Mikey.”

“I want absolute silence today, class,” Ms. Den ordered, standing at the front of the room. Once again, she was dressed just like normal, but there was another thing off about her, only this time I knew what it was. She was pale, as if she had either seen a ghost or lost a good amount of blood.

“This weekend I finished grading all your papers, and almost everyone in this class did horribly. Today I am giving you the opportunity to fix all the mistakes you made. Take out your book, find out where the answer is, and write it down. This is the only day I will allow this, so if you do not get to the last of them, those will still count against you.”

We all went to get our papers when she called, and once everyone had them, the only sound that could be heard was that of people writing and flipping pages in the book.

I was one of the lucky ones who hadn’t missed many, but fifteen was still a lot and I was kept busy throughout the whole class. Being the nice person I was, I let Mikey copy some of the answers I had when he couldn’t find any. Hopefully he put it in different wording and she wouldn’t be able to tell.

At one point, I didn’t think I was going to finish, but thankfully, the bell rang only a minute or so after I turned in everything. I heard some people groan, meaning that they hadn’t been as lucky as I was.

I packed as slowly as I possibly could, waving Mikey away when he asked if I wanted him to wait for me. It seemed to take too long until the room was clear of everyone, but once it was, I walked up to Ms. Den’s desk, who was grading the papers that we had all handed in.

“What is it that you want Miss. Moore?” she asked icily, making me wince.

“I, um, wanted to talk to you for a second.”

The blond woman sighed, but nodded, putting down her red pen and staring at me. “About what exactly?”

“Well, on Saturday, my father and I went to the doctor’s and after we got through with my check up, I saw, um, you there. You were headed to the Cancer ward. I know it’s none of my business, but I wanted to know if-“

“To save you the trouble of asking, Envy, the answer is yes. I do have a form of cancer, which is malignant. I figure you’re smart enough to know what that means.”

~~~~~

“You’re really starting to worry me Envy. This morning it wasn’t too bad, you were just out of it and thinking. Now you’re not even paying attention. What is wrong with you?”

“There’s nothing wrong with me Drake, I wouldn’t lie to you about that,” I mumbled to the boy as we walked towards our lunch table.

I heard a frustrated sigh come from him, and before I knew it, he was in front of me. I looked up at him as he looked down at me, his eyes hard. “Don’t lie to me Envy.”

“I’m not lying!” I said, exasperated, “There’s nothing wrong with me personally, I’m just thinking about something serious.”

“Like what? You know you can tell me anything, don’t you?”

I brought his face down to mine, giving him a quick kiss. “Yes, I know that. Right now isn’t the best time. How about after school, or can you not wait that long?”

Drake nodded slowly. “I can wait.”

“Good, now let’s go.”

He followed me as I led the two of us to the lunch table, which was already full by the time we got there. Frank seemed embarrassed by what they were talking about, and I questioned it once I was seated.

“They keep on bringing up how stupid I was to leave you guys. I know my mistake, okay? And I promise it will never happen again.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t still give you a hard time about it,” Taylor said, taking a bite into her sandwich, talking with food in her mouth, “You were being a serious ass.”

Frank let out a groan, hitting his head on the table. “I know!” he exclaimed, although the sentence was muffled.

“Did you explain to Alice and all of them that you weren’t going to talk to them anymore?” I asked, my cheek resting on my hand.

Frankie locked his hazel eyes with mine; they seemed a lot greener today, making my heart beat just a little bit faster. But, uh, only because I was shocked by the fact they were a different color today. Yeah, that was it.

He chuckled a little bit before he answered. “She was not happy what so ever. She screamed at me a little while before she just stalked away. Whatever, it doesn’t matter; I have my real friends back.”

“Aw, that was sweet Frankie-poo!” Dan gushed, hugging the boy and totally hiding him from view.

Frank quickly pushed away from the boy, rolling his eyes before an excited smile lit up his face. “So guess what happened this weekend?”

“You started to grow body hair?” Jepha said seriously.

“No! I mean, that’s already happened, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about!” he yelled while everyone else laughed.

“What happened Frank?”

“Gerard, Ray and I decided to start a band!”

“Aren’t you missing a few people?” Bert asked him.

“Yeah, we need a bassist and a drummer, but we started looking.”

“Why didn’t you ask me? You know I play the bass!” Mikey shouted, all offended.

“No offense Mikey, but you’re not that good yet!”

The lanky boy pouted, crossing his arms. “I’m learning, alright?”

“What did you guys call yourselves?”

“Hey,” Frankie started, “We just got this band together yesterday, alright? It’s gonna take some time!” Dan and him started to wrestle for what seemed like no apparent reason. Boys.

“So, what are we all doing for Halloween this month?” Roxy asked us, changing the topic.

“I don’t know, go trick-or-treating as usual?” Quinn said, wincing when the two wrestling boys hit his arm, “Watch it you two!”

“What about Frank’s birthday?” I said.

“We celebrate that a couple days before Halloween,” Frank answered when he was free, smoothing out his hair, “But since I’ll be turning 18, I’m going to get a tattoo!”

“How original.”

“Shut it you!”

“Maybe I’ll get one with you,” I said nonchalantly, “Holding your hand while you scream in pain.”

“I ain’t no sissy!”

I smirked. “You don’t know that until you have the needles on your body.”

“How do you know you won’t be the one crying like a baby?” the small boy asked defensively.

“Because I ain’t no sissy,” I replied, quoting his words.

~~~~~

I sat in the grass in front of the school, criss cross apple sauce to be exact, picking random blades of the grass from the ground before throwing them back to the ground. At this moment in time, I was waiting for Drake to meet me so I could explain what had been bothering me all of today.

“Guess who,” his familiar voice asked, placing his hands over my eyes. If they would have been open and uncovered, I would have rolled them.

“Gee, I wonder,” I said sarcastically while he laughed softly. Drake sat next to me, his arm touching my shoulder as we watched the students take off for home together.

“So, what has been bothering you?” he asked, not looking at me.

“I just got some shocking news is all, and I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

“What was the news?”

I bit my lip and looked at him, which signaled him to do the same. He saw some kind of emotion in my eyes, and his brows furrowed. “Seriously V, what was it?”

“On Saturday I had a doctor’s appointment, and once I got through with it, my father and I went to go home. Before we left the building, though, I saw Ms. Den heading into the Oncolo- Cancer Ward. I asked her about it today and she told me that she did have cancer. Cancer that will end up killing her.”

“Oh,” Drake said gently, looking away from me and into the street full of speeding cards. I frowned at him and at the answer he gave to me.

“What do you mean by oh? This is a serious matter!”

“Hey, calm down. I know it is. I just… I’ve known about her having cancer for some time now.”

My mouth was opening, and I was trying to say something, but I’m sure I just looked like some kind of fish out of water. Once my speech was working, I said, “You knew?”

He only nodded his head, slowly turning his head towards me. “Yes. That’s why she and I get along so well, because she told me her secret.”

There were so many questions I wanted to ask him at the moment, but only one seemed to matter at this moment in time. I cleared my throat before I asked him.

“How much longer does she have left?”

“Three months,” he whispered, “She’ll be lucky if she makes it to Christmas.”