Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My Heart Rest In Pieces 036

Broken Bond

“This is the Adel household, please leave a message after the beep.”

With an aggravated sigh, I ended the call and harshly placed the phone it the cradle. This was the fifth time I had called his house and no one had picked up yet. Not even his parents. This was seriously starting to make me angry, as well as confused. Drake was a gentleman and a kind boyfriend; he wouldn’t just run off without telling me.

Feeling defeated, I lay on my bed, fingers fiddling with the locks of my hair. I was at a loss at what to do now. Today I told myself I could call as many times as it took until someone answered, but that seemed stupid. If there wasn’t an answer the first time, there probably wouldn’t be one the thousandth time.

A sudden thought popped into my head, something I should have realized a long time ago. I slapped my head once I realized how stupid I was and ran out of my room, going to grab the van keys.

“I’ll be back in a while Dad!” I yelled, throwing some shoes on.

“Can I ask where you’re going?”

“The hospital!” I replied moments before the door closed behind me.

Ms. Den had been absent just as long as Drake had, and he knew about her illness. He must be there with her!

As I started to drive away, I mumbled under my breath that that still wasn’t a good enough excuse not to tell me anything. That boy was in trouble.

I parked the van in one of the empty spots, just a little crooked but I really didn’t care, and stomped inside towards the front desk. The lady behind it gave me a kind smile.

“How can I help you today ma’am?” she questioned with a smile.

“I wanted to know where, um… a woman by the last name Den was at? All I really know is that she’s in the oncology ward.” It didn’t hit me until right now that I didn’t know Ms. Den’s first name.

The nurse gave me a strange look, but looked it up in the computer. “Is it a Ms. Gina Den?”

“Uh, yes,” I answered. There was no way that there was another woman by the last name of Den there, but I was hoping if there was this was the right one.

“She’s in room 405.”

“Thank you,” I said, giving her a small nod and heading for the elevator.

When I reached the fourth floor, two people sitting on benches across from room 405 caught my attention. I made a b line for them. “Mr. and Mrs. Adel,” I greeted kindly, a smile on my lips.

“Hello Envy,” Mrs. Adel greeted me, “What are you doing here?”

“I came to see D- I mean, Ms. Den.”

“Ah, so you have heard of her condition then?” Mr. Adel asked and I nodded my head.

“She told me herself not too long ago.”

“It is such a shame,” the woman said, tsking, “We’ve known Gina Den for such a long time and it’s horrible to see her fading.” Her husband put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Am I allowed to go inside, or is that why you two are out here?”

“Oh, you are free to go in, we were just giving Drake and Gina a few minutes alone.”

“It was nice seeing you,” I said then walked quietly into the room.

The first thing I heard when I entered was a soft and bell like laugh coming from a woman, along with the deep chuckle of Drake. I felt so stupid right now, intruding on the two. Before I could turn around and head out of the room, Ms. Den spotted me.

“Envy,” she said, not stating it as a question. Confused, Drake turned around and saw what the blond was talking about. But I wasn’t focusing on him. My gaze was on the woman in the bed.

Her blond hair that I had always seen tied up in a strict bun at the top of her head was not there. Instead, her hair fell freely down, framing her face and bringing out her green eyes, which for once were not hidden by glasses. At this time, she seemed much softer than she usually did, and with that smile on her face, Ms. Den looked like an entirely different woman.

“Envy, what are you doing here-“

“Drake, will you give me and Miss. Moore a minute?”

The boy was surprised at the request, but got up as told. He walked to me, stopped to look at me for a moment, as if he was trying to read my face, but ended up leave soon. Once the two of us were alone, I bit my lip.

“Come sit here next to me Envy,” Ms. Den requested, motioning to the seat where my boyfriend had just occupied. I did as told, still feeling awkward.

“This is… sort of weird,” I mumbled, not looking at her, but around the room.

“Because I’m usually mean?”

I didn’t say anything, but she giggled. Giggled! This is not the same woman who was my Physics teacher. Maybe the drugs they had given her were making the woman a little loopy.

“You didn’t think I didn’t know what everyone thought about me, did you?”

“Well-“

“I’ve had that façade since I started teaching Envy. I wanted people to hate me, hate me but acknowledge that I was a damn good teacher.”

“You wanted us to hate you?” I asked, incredulous, “Why?”

It was Ms. Den’s turn to look away and feel slightly awkward. “I learned that I had cancer three years ago, only two months before I was going to start teaching Senior Physics. I couldn’t refuse the job, because that would leave many kids teacher less until they found a replacement for me. I also didn’t want sympathy from the children around me, I didn’t want sympathy from anyone. I had no clue what I was going to do. I came up with the idea to just be a bitch of a teacher and to keep my secret just that, a secret.”

“But, I don’t understand why you had to be, well, you know,” I asked.

“To stop myself from forming bonds,” she sighed, locking eyes with me. All of her emotions were right in plain sight, anyone could have read them. There were a lot there, but something that stuck out the most was fear.

“It’s bad enough that my death will impact the Adel family, I couldn’t use my new method on them because I had already known them before I found out, but I stopped myself from making any more friends. I wanted to stay alone so that no one would feel pain when I passed away.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” I whispered.

She smiled at me. “Although I’m very sorry for it, you’ve been the only person to break through that wall I’ve put up. You remind me so much of myself when I was a teenager, smart, reckless, and a smart ass. I’ve created a strong bond with you that at first seemed like two strong personalities butting against each other. But I soon found out that I was attracted to you because we are so much alike.”

She placed her pale hand on top of mine, squeezing it slightly. “If I ever had a daughter, I would imagine her a lot like you.”

I blushed at the compliment that she had given me. As I thought about the new Ms. Den, I could see how we seemed similar, and it was sort of strange.

“Ms. Den-“

“Please, call me Gina.”

“Gina,” I started, trying out the new word, “I don’t think closing yourself off from people is the best decision. Cutting yourself off from everyone doesn’t really make any sense to me.”

“I don’t expect it to Envy, not a lot of people get my logic to this. But I know what I’m doing. Not only am I protecting people from me, I'm protecting myself. I will be gone soon, there is no changing that, and as that day gets closer by the minute, I start to think about all the people I am leaving behind, making a list of people that will mourn me. I wish it was an empty list, but I can’t change that. I don’t want to think about everyone that will be hurting.”

“Gina…”

“On your way out, will you tell Drake’s parents to come in here so I can see them before they leave?”

Looks like I was being dismissed. I nodded my head, leaving my seat, and headed out the door. I closed it softly behind me after I left then looked at the two adults.

“She wants to speak with you before you leave.”

Without a word to me, they entered the room, leaving me and Drake in the hallway alone. I turned slightly away from him so I wouldn't have to look in his eyes.

“What are you doing here Envy?”

“I came to see Ms. Den.”

“That’s crap and you know it. You came here to see me, didn’t you?”

“If you know all the answers,” I seethed, “then why the hell are you asking questions?”

“What is your problem?!”

“My problem,” I announced, whipping around to face him, “is that I’m being ignored by you.”

“I came here to see my dying friend.”

I narrowed my eyes at him and Drake did the same. “All I am asking for is a damn phone call Drake. A simple one like, ‘Hey Envy, I’ll be seeing Ms. Den at the hospital so I’ll be away for a few days’. That would have been sufficient.”

“That was none of your business to know,” he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. I looked at him, mouth hung open slightly.

“Are you kidding me? None of my business? I’m your girlfriend Drake, we share information like this.”

“Sometimes we don’t have to share some things.”

“Is that what you think, that you can just keep stuff from me and everything will be okay? I’ve shared everything with you, but you think its okay to just keep things from me? This is not a double standard relationship!”

“I’m not trying to make it one, Envy,” he sighed, extending his hand out to me. I hesitantly took it and the boy took me into his arms. The anger faded away instantly as I felt home in his arms. He held me close, kissing the top of my head.

“I love you Envy.”

My eyes widened slightly at his words, and my throat seemed to constrict. I wasn’t sure if I could say it to him, but I didn’t want to leave him hanging.

“I-I love you too.”

His hold got tighter and he kissed my head again, glad that I had returned his confession. The bad thing was, I wasn’t exactly sure I had meant it.