Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My Heart Rest In Pieces 039

Making The Twenty

Wednesday had come at me so fast, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. Usually the days didn’t speed by me this quickly, and I wondered why most school days couldn’t be like this. Maybe it was my body’s way of getting me out of the strange routine that I seemed to be falling into.

Drake and I haven’t gotten any better. Sure, we still say ‘I love you’ when we leave each others presence, but we seem to just be slowly drifting away from one another. Speaking of drifting, I didn’t see him a lot at lunch any more. He always said that he had other things to do with teachers, then left us. I wondered what was wrong with him, but he said he was perfectly fine.

As if to counter Drake’s disappearance, Frank started hanging out around me more, and by Wednesday, I trusted him more than I had when we first became friends. He just had that kind of effect on me. The more the boy hung around me, the more I started to like him. It was kind of hard not to, with his handsome looks, intoxicating smell, and the sound of his laughter that felt like velvet to the ears. I knew it was wrong to feel this way towards Frankie when I had Drake, but the intelligent part of my brain seemed to instantly shut off whenever we brushed hands; whenever he looked at me.

And then there was Ms. Den. She had come back to school on Monday, to most of her student’s displeasure. She was back to her cold, hard shell that she used at school, and it was hard to believe that the kind and gentle woman that I saw at the hospital was the one who most students loved to hate. Now that I knew her secret, it seemed that she was a tad nicer to me. Only a tad though, she didn’t want to alarm students with kindness. I think they would all go into shock.

The past two days I had stayed after school, practicing my auditions songs with Mr. Smith. The first time I had asked, he was surprised. No one had really asked for help, thinking they had to do this independently. But once our training started, he hounded me until things were perfect. Sometimes, I sang so much that my throat was sore. That was when we would stop, and he would send me home for the day. Even if he could be strict, he was a damn good teacher and knew exactly what he was doing. He had trained me as much as he could, preparing me for today. I was ready, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t nervous.

~~~~~

“You guys are all going to be there, right? Cheering me on and beating up the judges if they don’t pass me?”

“Of course!” Bert exclaimed, throwing his arm over my shoulder and kissing the top of my head sloppily. I scrunched my face up at that, moving away from him and trying to get the slobber out of my hair.

“I wouldn’t miss your audition for the world!” Roxy said, giving me a gentle smile as we walked out of the school doors. The whole group was behind me, excluding Drake who said he would catch up with us at the audition, saying he had things to do.

“What time do we have to be there by?” Jepha asked when he caught up to me.

“Four, so you guys have two hours to do what you want. My number is twenty six, so I’m hoping that it won’t take that long for me to get this over and done with.”

“How many people are there going to be?” Mikey questioned.

“Sixty two.”

I heard groans from everyone and couldn’t help but laugh. “Guys, chill. I know that’s a lot, but hopefully some of them will chicken out, choke, or just suck and the judges won’t need that much time to respond. Now if you’ll excuse me, my father is here to take me away to the theatre. See you guys later!”

Everyone waved bye as I raced to my father’s van, throwing my stuff in the back then sitting in the passenger’s seat. I buckled up and then we were off.

“How was school?” Dad asked, keeping his eyes on the road while I reached over to kiss his cheek.

“It was good, really good actually. Today seemed to zoom by and all the teachers were nicer than usual.”

“Are you ready for this?”

“Totally,” I responded with a huge grin on my face. Dad turned to give me a smile, ruffling my hair, pulling his hand away soon after.

“Why is your hair wet?”

“Bert slobbered on my head.”

“Ugh, now his spit is on my hand.”

~~~~~

When I had been dropped off in the back entrance, I had been full of confidence, thinking nothing of the other competition I had. That all changed when I walked through the door and was thrown into a large group of students. Sixty two didn’t seem like that big of a number when you thought about it, but when you’re squeezed into a room full of that many people, it seems like an enormous amount.

Looking around, I noticed that the majority of people that had joined this competition were girls, which was the norm. There were a couple guys hanging around each other, but they were outnumbered completely. I felt kind of bad for them.

There were different styles of girls standing around, practicing and talking to friends. I felt under dressed when I saw that a lot of them had dressed up for the occasion, but there really wasn’t anything I could do about it now.

“Envy, there you are!” I heard Tamara say before I saw her coming towards me. She had to barge her way through groups of people, and I was surprised at the force she could use with that little body. She looked just as she had in class today, and I was relieved that I wasn’t the only one wearing normal clothes.

“Hi Tamara,” I greeted, giving her a light hug. When I stepped back, I saw that she had a large sticker on her stomach that read ‘15’ in bold lettering.

“You’re 15? Lucky,” I told her with a pout, making the smile already on her face grow larger.

“I don’t know if being one of the first to go is better or worse. You have to sit there and wait for everyone to get done.”

“Very true,” I mused.

“Oh, you don’t have your number yet. Let’s go get it before they mark you absent.”

I followed her small form to a table close to the double doors that led to the stage. A woman sat there, looking utterly bored and out of place in a room full of teenagers. When we walked up, she gave us an uninterested look.

“How can I help you?”

“I just came here to get my number. I’m Envy Moore.”

The woman looked at the list in her hands, her finger tapping at my name when she found it. “Envy Moore, number 26. Here you are, and good luck.”

I took the numbered sticker from her and put it on my stomach, where it could be seen. Tamara and I walked away, finding a small space against the wall to sit down and just relax.

“So, how much longer before the auditions begin?”

“Around twenty minutes I think. It shouldn’t be too long now. It’s the waiting while everything is going on that is the hardest.”

So she and I waited like good little girls for those twenty minutes, talking about different subjects that made us giggle and keep our minds off of the nerve racking feelings that ran through us. We were interrupted in our conversation when the double doors opened, revealing a man in a pin striped suit standing there, looking hard and judgmental. I wonder who he could be. Note the sarcasm.

“We do not call you by name, but by your number, so I suggest you all stay quite so that you do not miss your number being called. One.”

A small girl stood up, looking like she was about to jump out of her skin. She reluctantly followed the man, the doors closing behind her ominously. Suddenly, I wasn’t so eager to be one of the first to go.

It took only five minutes until the next person was called, although this time a kinder looking woman called out the numbers, which I am sure everyone preferred.

“I’m so nervous,” the red headed girl said from beside me, causing my attention to go to her. I gave her a small smile.

“Don’t worry, you were good enough to get the solo in the concert, and you’ll be good enough to get through these auditions. I promise it.”

“Thanks Envy.”

Then everything was quiet between us as we practiced our songs in our heads, going over the words countless times. It made time seem to go quickly, and before I knew it, it was my friend’s turn to go. I gave her a thumbs up when she left me.

The bad thing about her leaving was that I was now alone, and would be until my number was called. After you had auditioned and gotten your comments from the judges, you were told to sit down in the audience and keep quiet for the rest of the contestants. It was slowly making this room feel empty, and I just wanted to get this over with.

“Twenty six.”

I jumped up from my spot, my heart beating erratically as I walked through the doors. It seemed as I was walking down death row, I was that nervous and scared. But I mentally slapped myself and got a grip, walking like I was the hottest stuff on the block.

When I walked onto stage, I saw three people sitting at a large desk, papers in front of them that probably told them everything about me. When I was in the middle of the stage, I gave them all a smile.

“Envy Moore, correct?” The strict one who had come through the doors asked, although it sounded more like a demand. After he said that, I heard a couple of my friends yell ‘Yeah!’ but were shut up, probably by one of the girls.

“Yes, that is me,” I said politely.

“And what school do you come from?” The woman in the middle asked. I was pretty sure she already knew the answer though.

“Belleville High School.”

“Alright then, you can go.” The last woman said, getting out her scoring papers. I nodded and readied myself to sing my heart out.

“ If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love you
I will always love you
You, my darling you

Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry
We both know I'm not what you, you need

And I will always love you
I will always love you

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish to you, joy and happiness
But above all this, I wish you love”

I watched the people’s faces that sat in the audience, my friends, my father, people I didn’t know, and took a deep breath. The next words I belted out were louder than the rest had been, causing the noise to bounce all over the room and give me goose bumps.

“ And I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I will always love you
I, I will always love you

You, darling, I love you
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.”

I was panting kind of heavily when I was done, but the grin on my face was wide. Once everyone knew I was done, my friends and Dad stood up in the back, whistling, hollering, and screaming at me at how well I had done. They were shushed soon when the judges wanted to comment on me.

“That was fantastic,” said the woman in the middle, her smile as wide as mine, “I have no negative comments on it at all!”

“Thank you,” I said quietly.

“I, too, think it was quite wonderful,” the other woman said, “You do a great job in both low and high pitching notes, while only most people can do one or the other. Good job Envy.”

I thanked her and turned my attention to the man, who was sitting back with the same expression on his face as when I first came in.

“I can agree that it was quite good, but I have some things to say. While you do wonderfully all around, I believe when you belt out you sound better than when you are quiet. I know it was for anticipation’s sake, but I would stick to songs that are loud so that your spectacular voice can be heard.”

“Thank you,” I told them all, smiling as I walked off the stage and ran to my cheerers. They all hugged me to them, whispering things into my ears and telling me how awesome I was. I was happy that they were all here to support me. All but one.

Although Drake and I hadn’t been the closest for the last few days, I still trusted him enough to come, but then he decided to skip it? I was hurt and angry at the same time, but I celebrated with the people who had come. We were told to sit down so that the rest of the people could go.

~~~~~

“Oh thank God, all of you are finally done!” Quinn almost shouted, making me giggle. I had to agree with him though, having to wait so long just for results was boring as hell. But as the boy had said, everything was done and now, we were just waiting for the judges.

The three of them were huddled together, whispering and going through all the papers in front of them. The man was the one that was writing down the amount of people that were going to make it to the next ‘round’.

When they had decided, all three stood up to face us, but the microphone was still in the man’s hand. “We are now going to announce the students that are going to go on, and we're getting rid of very many. There will only be twenty who come back next week.”

Talking broke out amongst all of us, and it was a normal reaction. They were cutting out forty people, and this was only the first section of the competition.

“Wow, harsh,” Frankie mumbled. I nodded with him, biting my lip as my stomach twisted in anticipation. Frank saw this and took my hand, squeezing it comfortingly. I blushed and gave him a smile, listening to the man as he began to name off of the list.

As the list came to a close and I still hadn’t been called, I started to lose hope that I would go on at all. It was saddening, especially since they had given me such good compliments. And after I had worked so hard…

“Lucy Lore, Jennifer Stone, Christine Ball, Tamara Schlosser, and Envy Moore. That is all.”

I was speechless for only a minute before I started screaming and jumping around, my friends (and of course Dad, the weirdo) doing the same with me. Seeing as Frankie was the closest on to me, I jumped into his arms and he held me in the air, swinging me around as I laughed. Everyone else decided that the thing to do at that moment was to dog pile us, which they did.

There was nothing that could beat this feeling. Success and love from the people closest to you. Life was good.