Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My Heart Rest In Pieces 060

You Needed It

All too soon, the Thanksgiving holiday was over and gone, and I had to bid my family a sad goodbye. It was hard to let them go, because having them here for a week felt like I was back in California again, surrounded by my past life. I wasn't afraid to admit that I cried like a baby when I had to send them off. At least I wasn't the only one; the boys didn't want to part with me either. Fortunately, we promised to meet up on Christmas, and I was counting down the days until I could meet up with them again.

Monday came rolling around after that, and I was not excited about dragging myself back to school at all, but it was something that had to be done. On the walk to school, the reluctant faces of Mikey and Frankie matched mine, and we walked to school in a reluctant silence.

As if the fact it wasn't a Monday wasn't bad enough, when I walked into second period Physics, my heart could only break again when I noticed that a new teacher stood in Ms. Den's place, and the dull man didn't even mention what had ever happened to the one that preceded him, just went on with his teaching.

During the period, there were many times where I thought I was going to break down, but fifteen minutes into the class, Mikey grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it. I looked over at him and he gave me a look that showed me that he was always going to be there for me. I relied on his constant touch to make it through, and he and I were one of the first few people to leave once the bell rang.

In Chorus, Mr. Smith went straight into how we needed to work on some music for the big winter concert we were going to be having. He assigned the best in the class solos, which included Tamara and I, saying that we would have to sacrifice our own time to practice and get costumes for our respective songs. I got Santa Baby; Taylor seemed more excited about it than I did.

Lunch came quicker than it usually did, probably due to the fact that I wasn't looking forward to it. I was quiet throughout the time, talking a little bit here and there and laughing when someone said something funny. I could only seem to focus on the fact that the seat next to mine was empty. No Drake, and no Frank to take his place; he was busy with his own girlfriend now. I only smiled softly at the two, although it held no happiness, and responded to a question that had been directed at me.

We had a sub in Piano class, and while everyone decided that this was the perfect time not to do anything and just talk, I sat behind one of the pianos and played. I wasn't sure if it was really a song, but I hit the keys and played what my mind told me to. No one found it strange that I was playing, and no one paid attention as I did so.

The rest of the day after that was just a blur. Volleyball, the walk home with an added individual, seeing as Tamara was going to Frankie's house, and an afternoon spent locked in my room doing homework.

As I lay in my bed, trying to go to sleep late in the night, so many thoughts ran through my mind. Where had this numbness sprung from? Why had I started to cut myself off once again?

And the one thing that repeated through my brain until I fell asleep later was: How could I continue to try and be strong when everything around me seemed to be crumbling?

~~~~~

The next morning when I woke up, I discovered that it was colder than it had been the day before, and that it had snowed once again during the night. I cursed my wardrobe for not being stocked for anything for this weather and bundled myself up as best as I could. I pathetically kept my pj pants on and pulled my jeans over them, throwing on a long sleeved, purple shirt. To finish off my warm outfit, I added a bulky, white jacket and a beanie that covered my ears.

When I saw Dad, who was leaving for work early that morning, he was just as heavily clothed as I was. He only shook his head and headed out the door with a curse. Unlike me, at least he could jump into the safety of his van. I had to walk the long trek to school, in the snow. I was thankful that the time had changed a little while ago and I was able to feel the warmth of the rising sun hit me as I shuffled through the white snow.

I was attacked from behind on my way to school from an unknown enemy, their ammunition a large snowball that had hit the back of my head. A large amount of the pile ended up down my shirt and I couldn't suppress the scream that ripped from my mouth when it hit my warm skin.

I started to dance around, trying to get it out before it melted, and heard a deep and familiar laughter coming from behind me. I stopped my jig and turned around, seeing Frank doubling over at me. I only glared at him for a second before picking up a large pile of the snow, packing it into a sphere almost professionally, and threw it at him. I couldn't stop the smirk that came when it hit him right in the face.

It was my turn to laugh, and I didn't muffle it in any way, letting the foreign sound echo around the empty streets. Frank could only stand there shocked that I had hit him, but it did not last very long. In an instant, he had gently tackled me to the ground, something I didn't know was possible, and we both fell to the cold ground on our sides.

"What did you do that for?" I groaned, not making a move to get up, even though the ground was very cold. Frank didn't do anything either, just looked at me and gave me the opportunity to stare into his beautiful hazel eyes.

"It looked like you need a little pick me up," he whispered, brushing back some of the hair that had fallen into my face.

I smiled at him, a real smile, and put my hand on top of his. Strangely, both mine and his were warm. "I did need it. Thank you."