Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My Heart Rest In Pieces 064

Merry Christmas

Christmas was right around the corner, and I was getting super excited about my trip back to California. I had been off from school for a week or so now, and I hadn't done much but hang out with my friends. We'd had countless snow ball fights, and I had actually managed to win the first ever one I had been in. How, I did not know, but it happened and I couldn't be any more proud. All things considered, everyone ganged up on me every other time after that, but that first victory could not be watered down.

When everyone heard that I wasn't going to be here Christmas day, instead all the way on the other side of the country, they threatened to throw a tantrum to get me to stay. That lasted all of five minutes before I told them to knock it off. My Opa had gotten us those tickets, and I wasn't going to waste the money.

After some bickering and attempts of kidnap—don't ask—they finally got it through their heads that I was leaving, and I got blessings instead of threats. Each and every one of my friends was at the airport when me and my father were to leave. Let's just say, it took quite a while for me to rip myself from their hugs to board the plane.

~~~~~

"Oh my god, it's so warm here!" I squealed when I stepped outside of the airport, letting the California sun sink into my pale skin. Screw the low and sometimes negative numbers in New Jersey, it was so much better here in the Golden State.

"I do have to say that I have missed it here, and we’ve only been gone a couple months," my father sighed, his brown eyes closed and smile on his face.

I jumped when I heard a horn honk close to us, and turned to see that Tracy was standing there, her face in such a huge grin I was surprised that it had not split her face in half. Dad and I ran to her, enveloping her in a hug at the same time.

"Oh, get off of me you two before you kill me!"

"Where are your kids?" I asked, looking around for the triplet of red heads.

"I left them at home; none of them know that you're coming here. I thought it could be kind of a present for them for Christmas."

I liked that idea, and kept quiet that my stay here would be a present all in its own for me. Those teens, even though my family, were my best friends here. We had been so close to one another that when we left, it was heart breaking not to see them every day like I had for so many years. Even if it was only for a week, I would enjoy every second back in my home.

The drive back to my aunt's house was very stressing as well as exciting. I wanted so badly to see and surprise my cousins and other such family members, but there was also a foreboding feeling deep in my chest that I kept pushing back. I knew exactly what it was for, and I wanted to put it off as long as I could.

The car quietly coasted up the driveway before coming to a stop. I jumped out of the backseat, ignoring my bags in the trunk, and rushed to the door, opening it calmly. I stepped through silently, looking at the back of the twin's heads.

Morgan was looking down and seemed to be writing something, homework maybe, while Greg was mindlessly watching TV. I looked around for Tyler and found him on the floor, doing some kind of puzzle and looking like it had stumped him. None of the three looked up when the door opened.

I rolled my brown eyes, impressed by their observation skills. Remembering a move that I had seen Quinn do when he first entered my house, I sort of ran at the couch before jumping over the back, landing kind of awkwardly in between the two, who were startled at my entrance.

"Can you guys make some room? I'm squished over here."

"Envy!"

I was in the middle of an "Envy sandwich" between the twins, who were shouting things into my ear, and I felt more weight added to us, and I could only believe it to be Tyler. I laughed while they did and we sat like that, holding onto one another tightly until Tracy came in and said that was enough.

"What are you doing here?" all three said in unison, their eyes glued to me in astonishment.

I grinned at them all and leaned back, relaxing against the comfy couch. "Well, I'm here as your Christmas present."

"Best Christmas present ever!" And once again, I was enveloped in a hug.

~~~~~

With all the family around like this, and I do mean all the family, it was inevitable that the days were going to speed by fast. But as if I had only come on Christmas Eve, Christmas was here, right here and right now, and although I was excited, it marked the last full day here in California.

"Wake up Envy!" I heard someone yell before a heavy body fell on top of me, making me groan in pain and push them off. I heard and felt them fall to the floor and I turned my back to them, smirking in my victory.

"You are so mean!" Greg's familiar voice moaned while his brother just laughed at the doorway.

"Come on V, it's Christmas and we have presents to open."

"And Grandpa is here, and apparently your friends all sent your presents to his house."

"They did what now?" I asked, sitting up and looking at both red heads for confirmation. They nodded their heads and I sighed, running a hand through my morning hair.

"My friends would do something like that," I grumbled and got out of bed. For once, my sleeping clothes didn't consist of fifty pounds of material to keep me warm and I was finally able to wear shorts again.

"Come on, I wanna see what they got you. There are a lot of boxes!" Greg said with a giggle and dashed down stairs. I cocked my eyebrow at Morgan, who could only shrug his shoulders. We walked down the three story house together, talking silently to one another. I wished him a Merry Christmas just as we came into the living room.

I went over to Opa and gave him a hug, embarrassedly thanking him for shipping over the presents that my idiot friends had sent him. When I got back home, I had to ask how they had even gotten his address.

I made sure to give everyone presents from me, that way while I opened all of these, they were preoccupied themselves. I had gotten Opa a photo album, filled with a bunch of old pictures from family gatherings and such; as I joke, I gave the twins matching sweaters, one having the letter F, while the other had G. They had both told me about this one book, Harry Potter, where there were these red headed twins that were pranksters and their mother got them sweaters for Christmas. When opening it, they glared at me, but I knew they found it as funny as I did.

For Tracy, I gave her a gift card worth $100 dollars that she could spend anywhere. I suggested she go to a spa, but the decision was up to her. Tyler got a bunch of "money" that was only good at his favorite ice cream shop and he couldn't have been happier.

While they all unwrapped those, and others they had gotten, I went to work on mine. The first one I opened was from Bob and smiled when I saw what it was. Since he was the manager of a music shop and knew about my ability to sing, he had gotten me a pure white microphone, all shiny and new, and in silver glitter, it spelled out my name elegantly.

I set that one aside and worked on my other one, finding it from Roxy. I opened it and found a very beautiful strapless dress, a deep purple in color, with swirly designs here and there, a thick black bow under the breasts. When I took it out, I found it a little short, and a note fluttered down. I picked up the small piece of paper and read what was on it.

Open with Taylor's present ;)

I was cautious when I found Taylor's box, hoping that it wasn't anything that would end up killing me, and groaned on the inside when I saw it. A pair of heels, the same color as the dress, covered in purple glitter, and the heel itself was around six inches. It reminded me of a more devious pair of slippers from The Wizard of Oz.

I cursed the two girls in my head and moved on. Why didn't they accept the way I dressed? I pushed that from my mind when I opened the next one, which was from none other than Frankie. I took out a black beanie and turned it around to see the lettering on the front. In the material, the words "My Chemical Romance" had been sown in and I couldn't help but chuckle. I was their first groupie after all.

I placed the hat snuggly on my head and pulled another present from my friends this way, discovering that it was from Ray. It only took me a second to recognize what it was, and I rolled my eyes yet again. I think I might end up doing that a lot with my friend's gifts. It was a fake afro wig, the exact color of Ray's, and it had an assortment of different colored pics in it.

Since I had Frankie's hat on, I couldn't put the wig on, so I just pushed it into my opened pile and picked Quinn's gift. It turned out to be a piece of his sling. Since he hadn't needed a cast, we all found it suitable to sign the sling with silly comments. He had cut out the piece that he himself had signed, which read "You all are idiots".

I laughed once again and could only agree with the written statement. I made sure that the little piece of plastic, or whatever it was, didn't get lost and grabbed the next box. Mikey's name was scrawled on the top and I opened the package to find a bunch of what looked like strings for a guitar. I pulled them out and saw that they were melded together in a circle and figured out that they were bracelets, most likely made from bass strings since he played that particular instrument.

I slipped the metal on, shivering at the coolness of them all and picked up another present from the other Way. It was a thick piece of paper and when I turned it over, I saw that it was a very realistic drawing of me, colored beautifully and everything. I "aww"ed and placed it gently with everything else.

Bert, Jepha, and Dan's presents all came in one box since they were kind of small. Bert's was a glass heart that had sand from the beach in it. Jepha's was a metal jewelry box that had my name engraved onto the top. Dan's was a large volleyball keychain that had a red spot on it and the words "Frank's blood" next to it.

The last present I received was from Jeremy. It looked like a little book and when I opened it, I snorted. It was a homemade coupon book made up of favors that the boy could do for me, as well as other offers. Things like "Free dinner at my house" and "chance to beat me in a singing contest".

I made sure to put all my gifts into the largest box and stood up. I wished everyone a Merry Christmas and excused myself to get ready.

~~~~~

The surprisingly warm winter breeze hit my bare arms, making me shiver. I kneeled down in the still green grass and stared at the stone in front of me, reaching out to trace the letters in it.

I was all alone in the cemetery this Christmas morning. I was sure that other people would be here later in the day, but they all wanted to spend time with the living right now. And Dad was not here because he had visited the day before. He said it was alright for me to go alone, and that I needed the time by myself.

"Hey Mom," I whispered down to her grave, letting my fingers run through the grass, "It's been a while, has it not? We’ve been living in New Jersey now for around five or six months now. When you say it like that, it doesn't seem like such a long time, but it has to be with all the memories I have, right?"

I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and let out a shaky sigh before I continued. "I've met some really good people there, Mom. I have so many good friends; I think you would love them all. They're all very silly, and they truly love me. I really wish that you could meet them.

"I've had some pretty good times over there, but with those times comes hard times, and heaven forbid I have had those. But it's all part of the experience, right? We win some, we lose some."

I pulled up my shirt and showed it to the grave, as if my mother was right there and she could actually see it. "I got a tattoo in your memory. I know you loved lilies so I wanted to get one so I could always have that reminder. I got this one too," I said, pulling down my shirt and pointing to the one on my wrist, "It's a little set tattoo. Frankie, the boy's who's initials are on my wrist, got one like this but with EM on it. I think they turned out pretty amazing… That boy himself if pretty amazing."

I stroked the soft skin of my arm, tracing the letters over and over with my fingers. "He's also a heart breaker. We're best friends, but I want to be more. He has a girlfriend though, and they are perfect for each other. I didn't like their relationship before, but Tamara is so nice… I just have to accept them, and the pain I get when I see them together. Did you ever go through that type of thing when you were young?"

The breeze was my only answer and the tears that had weld up in my eyes spilled down my cheeks. I wiped them away, but more came to replace each and every one. "At least you found Dad, and you guys were so happy. I want that happy family again. I want- I want you."

I sat there and cried for I don't know how long, reliving the brief memories with my mother. I remembered her beautiful hair, her ocean blue eyes, her silk like laughter. If anyone in the world was perfect, it would be my mother. And I guess perfection can only last so long in this world before it's taken away.

"Merry Christmas," I sobbed.