Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My Heart Rest In Pieces 086

Leave It All Behind

“Graduation!”

“Graduation!”

“Graduating!”

“If you sing that one more time, I’m gonna beat you all!” Bert yelled, covering his ears and putting his head on the lunch table. All the Seniors at the table had shit eating grins on their faces. Mine might have been the biggest.

“You guys would be doing the same thing if you were Seniors,” Quinn teased, looking so damn smug.

“But we’re not Seniors!” Jepha huffed, looking sad and defeated.

“You can sing the song next year then,” Taylor laughed. We were all just so happy to be so much closer to leaving high school forever.

“Man, I wish I was leaving,” Tamara sighed, one of the four Juniors who would be all alone soon. They were only missing Frank, who was spending his whole day at home sick.

“I just can’t wait to get out of here,” Dan sighed, having a dreamy look in his eyes.

“But then we go off to college, so it’s a short lived freedom,” Mike interrupted. Everyone nodded their head and Roxy turned to look at me.

“You never told me where you were going! It’s almost the end of the year, you have to had picked one already.”

“I did. It’s Pepperdine University back over in California. They gave me a full ride and a free place to live.”

I have been expecting something huge and dramatic once I told everyone—something way bigger than what Jeremy and I had gone over. However, everyone just congratulated me on getting so much from the school and to still remember them when I got rich. I laughed along with them and the conversation was soon forgotten after that; replaced with more teasing of the Juniors and repetition of the Graduation song.

We laughed and joked and just had a good time with each other the entirety of lunch, which was the same thing that we did every day. I looked at every different face that talked and thought about how familiar they had all become to me in this school year.

They were all my best friends, even if we didn’t individually hang out all the time. I knew them all so well that I could finish their thoughts and I felt like right now, my life was already somewhat completed. What would life be like once they were gone from my life when I moved?

I held onto Jeremy’s hand tighter, remembering what he had said to me in my room. He turned his head, showing me his eyes and gave me a gentle smile along with a small kiss. I returned them both before he jumped back into the conversation. I had to cherish the time that I had with everyone, no matter how little it was.

I would miss them a whole damn lot. I hoped they would miss me just as much.

~~~~~~

The last note from the band rang out into the empty stage and auditorium and I felt breathless. In only one whole hour, I had performed my entire act for the very up and coming concert. That included singing every song, putting on every complicated outfit, and exiting and entering every damn door in the place. Good thing running in heels was easy, or this would have taken longer.

My breathing was hard as I looked down at Mr. Smith, who was sitting in the middle of the room to test my voice. He had kept his promise when he said he was going to torture me at practice. I never knew that he was such a sore and vindictive loser.

“That was pretty good. You sang okay, though you were breathing hard for some reason.”

I glared daggers at him while he just smirked at me. God, he was so infuriating, but hot at the same time. Damn that volleyball game, it was putting traitorous thoughts into my head!

“Yeah, I wonder,” I mumbled, putting the weight on one foot while my hands were on my hips.

He laughed at me and nodded his head to me and to the band. “You’re free to go Envy. Tamara should be here soon.”

“Is she going to go through the same rigorous torment that I did?”

“Of course not,” the man scoffed, “she didn’t play against me in the game.”

I made a frustrated noise and just walked off, stomping my cute heels dramatically so he knew that I was mad. Not that it wasn’t that obvious on my face, but it gave it a double effect.

I made my way to the dressing room so I could take off the dress and put back, but as I was doing so, Tamara was coming out of the dressing room and heading my way. We really weren’t supposed to see each other’s clothes until the actual concert, but now we had kind of ruined it.

We both stopped, realizing that some of the surprise had been ruined, and smiled sheepishly at each other.

“Oops,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Your dress is gorgeous. It’s totally you,” I confessed, seeing as I couldn’t just un-see it. She looked over at mine and her mouth was slightly open.

“Me, what about you? You fit into all of that perfectly, like the dress was made for you. I can’t to see your other outfits if this is one of them.”

I smiled at her compliment. “Yours as well. I just want the concert to be here because I’ll have already graduated high school.”

Tamara huffed, being reminded she still had another year to complete, but then her eyes changed. They looked sad and I was confused.

“When are you leaving to go to your school?”

“I leave a week after graduation. It’s before school even lets out for you guys. Honestly, I actually have to start packing soon.”

“Wow, that’s not much time. Maybe two weeks. And since finals are coming up for you guys next week, we won’t really see much of you.”

Tamara had brought to the surface things I hadn’t even really thought about. All of us were excited to get out and just hang out, but I didn’t really have that luxury. While they had a whole summer to laze around and just have fun, I was going to be long gone before anyone really realized it. Thinking about it, it made me really sad.

“I guess that’s true,” I said softly, letting my eyes show how sad I really was.

“I know we haven’t known each other that long, and that we’re not the best of friends, but I’m really going to miss you Envy. You just got here, and now you’re leaving. Our group isn’t going to be the same without you.”

“I promise to call all the time and to visit whenever I can. Trust me; my father isn’t going to let me get out of not coming to every holiday in the year. So you’ll see me.”

“Yeah,” was all she said before explaining she should get going. I let her and went into the dressing room to change. I got back into my street clothes and hiked my bag over my shoulder before I left to get to the van.

I sat in the driver’s seat for a few moments in silence. I hadn’t even started the van yet, so there was no hum of the engine. Just the silence of the calm day outside.

I hadn’t been here even a year, but I was about to leave and I was leaving so much behind. My father, who was the most important member of my family, my friends, my boyfriend, and a job that I loved with all my heart. None of those comforts were going to be there with me in California. I could still visit my other family, but it just wouldn’t be the same.

Before I could start regretting my decision of colleges, I started the car and blasted the radio to drown out the thoughts from my mind.

When I got home, my dad had left me a note saying that he went to go bother the Way family because he was bored, so I had the whole house by myself. I really didn’t want to be by myself to let those nasty thoughts sink in, so I picked up the phone and called Jeremy. The teen picked up the phone on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Hey Jeremy, will you come over to hang out?”

“Sure, I’ll be right there. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just alone and want someone to hang out with.”

That short conversation was what led to us lying in my bed, doing nothing but just being with one another. My head is on his chest while he ran a hand through my hair. I had told him what had been running through my mind all day and he listened. We hadn’t said anything for a while, but the silence was calm.

“Envy, just because you’re leaving doesn’t mean everyone is just going to forget about you,” Jeremy whispered, breaking the silence, “you’re the most important part of our group of friends.”

I laughed at that and turned my head up to look at him. “How is that?”

“Well, you made our group bigger. You added Tamara and I to it.”

“Oh yeah, because two people totally count.”

“Let me finish woman!” he exclaimed while I laughed, “Everyone is closer to our older friends, you got Roxy to grow some balls to get into a relationship with Gerard. Because of your job at Unlimited Sound, I met Adam and Scott, who I’ve started a band with. We’ll soon be rich and famous and it’s all because of you.”

“I still don’t think that counts. I’m just a bridge to all of that.”

“Without that bridge, we wouldn’t have gotten there,” the blonde said softly, stroking my face while I looked into his mix matched eyes. “And even though the bridge is going to be a million miles away, it doesn’t mean you forget about her. There’s no way anyone is going to forget about you. You’re everyone’s best friend.”

“I just don’t want to grow up any more. Although I’m excited to graduate, I just want to suspend time,” I mumbled, burying my face farther into Jeremy’s chest, “I don’t want to leave any more.”

“Your education is important, V. And you can come back when you’re ready, right? It’s only four years, so when you’ve got your degree and still want to come back, you can.”

“Will you be there the entire way?” I asked, though it came out soft since I was talking into his body. When he responded, I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Of course. To Infinity And Beyond, remember?”