Let My Heart Rest In Pieces

Let My Heart Rest In Pieces 092

Graduation

“Guys, I can’t find my cap. Help me find my cap!” Mikey squealed, running around the crowded gym in search for his black graduation cap, much like a lot of other high school graduates.

“Yeah, that’s not happening,” Tay said, giving the lanky boy an incredulous look before turning back to Roxy and I, “We’re outta here guys!”

We all commenced jumping around and shouting like girls from movies did, soon joined by Jeremy—who was doing too good of a job, if I might add. We stopped when our laughter broke our concentration.

“I can’t believe school is finally over for us,” Quinn said, strolling up to us like he had all of the time in the world, which I guess he did.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment since I entered fifth grade,” Dan sighed in content.

“Who ever knew this moment was going to happen for you?” Roxy teased, earning her a smack on the shoulder.

“It’s getting a little too crowded in here,” I complained, trying my hardest not to bump into all my fellow classmates, “Let’s head outside and try to find everyone.”

Everyone agreed with my plan and clung to each others gowns, determined not to lose the other. Dan, who was at the front, took the job as the horn blower, making train sounds to help us push through the crowds and eventually lead us outside. The night air felt cool on my skin and I sighed in relief, pulling down the zipper to my gown so I wasn’t confined in the hot material.

“I think Jepha said that we were all going to meet up at our usual morning spot,” Quinn announced, giving us some kind of direction as to where we were going.

“Let’s get to it then!” Rox shouted, her arm raised high like she was leading us into battle.

Jeremy and I were the last in our little line, and when given the opportunity, I jumped onto him piggy back style, almost knocking him over. Probably wasn’t my best idea, since we were walking on concrete, but he managed to catch us both.

“What the hell was that?!” he exclaimed, turning his head to look at me while I grinned.

“My feet hurt. I’m not used to wearing these heels.”

“I would argue with how stupid you are, but I never win our arguments, so I think I’ll just shut up.”

“Smart boy. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” I smirked.

“I still have the ability to drop you.”

I only held onto him tighter and prompted him to catch back up with our friends. However, it was still a long walk, and it seemed like Jeremy had something on his mind.

“You’re leaving soon.”

“Way to ruin the mood,” I pouted, slouching in his hold and resting my head on his shoulder.

“I thought we could talk about it now instead of later.”

“Yeah, I’m leaving soon,” I mumbled into his ear, “Too soon. I never thought I would regret going to school. I’m gonna miss you.”

“Don’t worry; in a couple weeks, my band is going to get super famous and I’ll fly out to see you every weekend.”

“Oh really?” I laughed, shaking my head, “I didn’t know you could see into the future.”

“I can, it’s just not always 100% accurate.”

“Meaning you can’t.”

“That’s not the point Envy!”

To emphases his point, he dropped me to my feet in front of our large group, putting me back on my uncomfortable black heels. I glared at his back, but he just ignored me and went over to hug his parents as they fawned over him.

“Envy!” the familiar voice of my father shouted before I was picked up from behind. I let out a little girly squeak before I let the noise fall to giggles as I was twirled around.

“Dad!”

“My little girl did it, she’s finally done.”

After a couple more seconds of twirling me in midair, the man put me down and I turned to face him, our smiled matching one another’s. I gave him a proper hug while he kissed my forehead, whispering into my ear how proud he was of me. I smiled even bigger, if it was possible at the moment, and hugged him even tighter.

“Until tomorrow; you know, when I leave to go learn for another four years.”

“Plus more, depending on what you want to do,” Dad tried to teased, though I could hear the sadness in his voice. I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes and saw the same thing I heard in his voice.

“My little girl is moving away. What am I going to do in the house all by myself?”

“I don’t know, in the beginning of this year you said you were going to be glad to get rid of me.”

“Oh yeah, I did, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” I glared, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I guess I’ll miss you a little bit,” he joked back, pulling me into for another hug.

“Excuse me Josh, but stop hogging your daughter!” Donna yelled, whisking me out of his arms to take me in her own. Our laughs mixed together like a melody.

I could hear my dad congratulating Mikey, since we had apparently swapped parents, before Donna pushed me away a little bit to look me up and down.

“And to think that you only came into our lives this year,” she sighed, wistful smile on her face, “just to bounce right back out.”

“I promise Dad that I would be visiting as much as possible; I’ll be make sure to see you constantly during those visits.”

“You better, or my boys will have a fit! And speaking of boys, I think Gerard is waving for me to toss you over.”

Looking in the direction she was, I saw that the pale boy along with our blonde and afroed friend. I bid the woman a goodbye and danced over to my older friends, enveloping them in a tight group hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” Ray sniffled dramatically, wiping away invisible tears while I rolled my brown eyes. Bob smacked him on the back of the head, telling him to cut the antics, before he turned to me with a genuine smile.

“But really, we are proud of you. It’s going to be a shame to see you off tomorrow.”

“Everyone keeps bringing that up!” I exclaimed, throwing my hands up into the air, “This is supposed to be a fun occasion!”

“She’s right. Our little Envy is done with high school!” Gerard laughed, messing up my hair like I was a little kid. I gave him the look he deserved.

“I’m definitely not going to miss you,” I said, turning away from him while his friends laughed at some face he was making.

“But Envy!” was all I heard him whine as I walked away.

As I looked around my group of friends, trying to find someone who wasn’t busy, I was surprised to see a small redhead headed my way. With a smile on my face, I jogged to meet her half way and hugged her tightly while we laughed. I pulled away and gave her a grin.

“That was an amazing ceremony, I was so close to crying!” Tamara announced, holding tightly onto my hands. I chuckled at her statement before looking behind her for a certain midget, but was confused when I didn’t see him.

“Where’s Veggie?”

Having to think about the nickname for a second, it took the girl a little bit to realize I was talking about Frankie. A sad smile lit up her face, and it toned down my smile a little.

“He called me earlier and told me that there was a family emergency. He had to go to his aunt’s house an hour from here and was forced to miss graduation. He told me to tell you congrats though.”

“Thanks,” I said, though my smile was mostly gone. I had been really looking forward to seeing the Pansy before I was supposed to leave. The redhead and I talked for a few more minutes before I was called back to my dad. He had decided that the Flat’s and the Moore’s were going to celebrate together at a nice dinner, since we all were already dressed up.

“Bye guys!” I yelled back to my friends, who were disbanding as well, “I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“To say goodbye forever!” Bert sobbed, making it sound real. I ignored him and blew them kisses as I got into my dad’s van for dinner.

~~~~~~

My eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the darkness in my mostly bare room, and my groggy brain was trying to understand why I was waking up at—a quick look at the clock—three in the morning. I was still cozy in my bed, I had been dreaming some rather nice things, and I was overall in a perfect sleep format. What the hell?

There was a tap somewhere in my room, something so small that is could just be the floorboards creaking. I furrowed my brow. Was that what had woken me up? I doubted it.

Then I heard it again, and since I was a little more awake, I was able to pinpoint the sound. It was coming from my window, almost like the tree outside was knocking against the glass. When I looked at the tree, however, there was no breeze to move the branches. Again, what the hell?

That’s when I witnessed a torn off branch being thrown at my window, making the same noise I was sure had woken me up, though who knows how long it had been persisting. What was throwing the branches?

Because I was a damn curious person, I got out from the comfort of my bed and shuffled over to the window, glancing down to see what the hell was going on. The sight below me sure as hell confused me.

I pulled the window up and poked my head out, sending down a glare. “Frankie?”

“The one and only!” he almost shouted, and I was sure he might have woken someone. I shushed him and he realized he needed to be quieter. “Come down here.”

“Are we really going to do this?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Fine, I’ll be down in a second,” I said, about to close the window and head down the stairs.

“What, you’re not going to climb down the tree?”

“Hell no!” I exclaimed rather loudly, looking at the boy like he had grown another head, “I will not be reminded of this years later by you saying ‘Hey V, remember when you broke your foot by jumping out the second floor?’”

“Way to ruin the fun,” he mumbled before I shut my window, quieting all noise from outside. I sighed in annoyance, ready to strangle the small boy once I got down stairs.

I made sure to be extra quiet as I snuck down, not wanting to wake my dad. Sure, he probably would have just allowed Frankie inside, but I don’t think that was what the boy wanted. I sneakily made my way outside and was greeted with the black haired boy sitting on the front steps, looking out at the stars.

“What are you doing here Frank? Tamara told me that you were at your aunt’s.”

“I was, but I snuck out so I could come see you.”

Now I was really confused. “Why?”

“V, are you and idiot? I wasn’t going to miss saying goodbye to you. It was bad enough I missed graduation.”

“I had forgotten about that,” I replied, solemnly thinking about what would happen later today.

Seeing my discomfort, Frankie changed the subject. “I can’t believe you did it though. Who knew your Senior year was going to end so quickly? Seems like just yesterday we were in the gym getting our schedule.”

“I remember that,” I said with a laugh, “I fell on my face and Quinn helped me up.”

“It’s going to be hard not having you all there next year,” he admitted, lying down on the ground with his arms behind his head, “I don’t know if I’m ready to be a Senior.”

“What do you mean?” I asked him quietly, turning so I could look at his face even though he wasn’t looking at me.

“I just don’t know if I’m cut out for school, you know? I understand it’s my last year, but there are so many other things I want to do. I kind of just want to focus on our band. We’re doing really good.”

“Your mom would kill you,” I joked.

He laughed loudly and nodded his head, messing up his long hair in the back. “She would, but I think she’d get over after a while. She’s always supported me in everything I do. Wow, tonight is supposed to be about you since you’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Everything should always be about me,” I scoffed, flipping my bed head while we laughed together.

“How are you taking everything?”

It was my turn to look up at the stars, though it wasn’t easy to look at them through the light of the streetlamps. “I’ve coped, I guess. I mean, it still makes me sad knowing that I’m going to be so far away from you guys, but I know I’ll see you all again, so that makes me happy. Who knew that New Jersey would feel more like home than California ever was.”

“We have that kind of effect on people,” Frankie chuckled, sitting up and fixing his hair.

“So while you guys are a famous band, try not to forget about the poor girl who’s stuck in school learning and giving away her money, alright?”

“We could never forget about you V. You’re too important.”

I could feel myself blushing at his comment, though it was so sweet I didn’t really care if he saw it or not. I sat up, stretching as I felt my eyes start to get heavy. “I really should go back to sleep. I have a big day tomorrow.”

“And I should get home before Mom realizes I stole the car.”

“I’m… going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” I voiced, shaking my head.

“Good luck Envy,” Frank said quietly, catching my eyes with his hazel ones, “and I’ll miss you. Have fun in school.”

I smiled sweetly back at him. “And have fun being in the most famous band in the world.”

He snorted at that and shook his head. “We’ll try and get there. No promises though. Have to get connections first.”

My eyes widened as I was reminded of something, something very important and no doubt life changing. God, why hadn’t I ever thought of it before?

“Frankie, don’t leave yet, I have to give you something!” I said excitedly, motioning him to stay put while I ran up to my room.

Most of my things had been packed up for the big move back over to California, but I had kept that card in a special place. Throwing my bedside drawer open, the business card was staring right at me, shining as if it knew its time had come to be important. I smiled at it and ran back down stairs, not even bothering to be quiet.

Frankie was standing there almost awkwardly, but he gave me a curious look when he saw me come back down almost out of breath. I didn’t give him a chance to comment before I thrust the small card into his hand.

“Alex said… he owed me…” I panted through my grin, watching as Frank read over the words on the card.

“Eyeball Records?” he questioned in awe, looking back at me.

“I know they’re not very well know right now, but it’s something, isn’t it?”

Frankie’s lips crashed against mine, so hard and so fast it was almost bruising, and I had to admit I wasn’t expecting it at all. But that’s how most of our kisses had been over this past year. I closed my brown eyes and kissed him back, ignoring the fact that I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend, and just enjoyed his lips on mine. He tasted so good and I licked at his lips, trying to memorize his taste. We stood there kissing until we had to break apart for breath and this time we were both panting.

“Thank you Envy,” he breathed out, “You’ve done so much for me I really don’t how to repay you.”

“That fifteen perfect you still owe me,” I teased, my lips still tangling, “And lots of shows over in California.”

The boy pulled me into a hug, holding me tight enough to make it even harder to breathe. I hugged him back just as tight, not wanting to let the smaller boy go, but did so a minute later.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too Frankie. See you soon?”

“Of course,” he whispered, though we both had no clue when we would see each other again.

I gave him one last smile and went into my house, leaning against the door as I closed it behind me.

“I love you, Frank Iero,” I sighed, shaking my head and heading back up to my room to sleep.

~~~~~~

She closed her front door and I stood there like an idiot for a minute, still struck by her act of kindness and our kiss.

“I love you, Envy Moore,” I sighed, wanting to kick myself. “Why didn’t I tell you that when I had the chance?”