Pieces of Me

After dinner everyone said they were going to have another cup of coffee and just hang out.

"Hey guys, I'm gonna go outside, I don't feel to good." I said as I excused myself from the table.

"You sure Angel? We could wrap it up now and Frank could take you home if you don't feel well." Gerard said with a concerned look. Frank nodded in agreement.

"I just need some fresh air." I said as I headed for the front of the restaurant. I sort of told the truth. I didn't feel to well. But all I wanted was to go home, and snuggle up under the blankets and try to forget that he has someone new and that, he's forgotten me.

I went outside and leaned against a wall and slowly let myself slide off against it onto the snow. It was cold, but it was better than being in there. I needed Sophie and George. I wanted to shovel down chocolate and watch t.v and rant about our teachers. I didn't want to be here right now. Do you think if I disappeared he would care? Will he be to wrapped up with her to even notice?

All this time that I had been with him. When he let me cry on his shoulder, when he held me while I did, when he would lift me on his shoulders, that one time I was sick and he made sure I took my medicine and slept. Why hadn't I seen it then? I was just a kid, I still am I kid. But I know now, oh god do I know now. And when he held me back during the crash, and when I returned the favor but risking my life to save him. I still have the scars, a bloody reminder of how much I love him.

And at the same time a reminder that I had gone against him, and that if I had listened to him that accident wouldn't have happened. It was all my fault, I know it was, even if he does deny it, even if the court said it was the other drivers fault. He can't change the past, no one can. It was me that had gotten us into that mess.

It began to snow, and I began to shiver. It doesn't matter now. He has someone, I'm to late, and there is no way I can ever tell him. I can barely tell myself!

"Roxy?" I heard a voice. I turned over to see Alicia.

"Yah?" I asked. She had a mug of coffee. She walked over and sat down next to me.

"Okay what's up?" she asked as she handed me her mug. I took a sip. It was hot against my ice cold lips.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Come on, I know you're hiding something" she said.

"It's just, I don't know." I said. I heard the door open again. It was Mikey.

"Oh there you are babe." he said as he came over and helped her up and pecked her lips.

"Ready to go?" he asked her.

"I am, I don't know about Roxy though." she said as she looked over at me. I nodded and finished off the coffee. I got up and went over by the door and leaned against it and shivered. My pants were soaked from sitting on the snow.

"Roxy you should go inside, your lips are blue." Mikey said as he looked over at me. I smiled and touched my lips, they were numb with cold.

"We leaving now?" I asked him

"Yah." he said I looked through the doors glass. Gerard and them were talking to some waitress and laughing.

"Ugh, they always do this." Mikey said as he looked into the glass too.

"Maybe she's just a fan." I said looking back to him.

"Yah, but even when we weren't famous they can start a long ass conversation with anyone." Mikey said. I laughed.

After they finished talking to the waitress they came outside.

"So just straight to my place then?" Gerard asked the rest of them.

"Sure." Ray said. I shut my mouth and tried not to show how cold I was, but it was hard considering I wasn't to sure if my ass was still attached to me it was so numb. Gerard had his arm wrapped around Laura who was shivering. I wish he would do that to me.

"Roxy you look like a snow man, eh, girl" Frank said when he turned to me.

"It's just a little cold." I said.

"Yah, just a little." he laughed at me and we headed for his car.

"It's gonna suck if you get sick now." he said as he started up the car and turned up the heat and radio.

"I know." I said as I pulled my legs up to my chest and put the hood on the sweater over my head.

They seemed so, in love, I guess, Gerard and Laura.

GERARD'S P.O.V

I started up the car as Laura kissed my cheek.

"That was nice." she said as she put on her seat belt. I put on the heater, she seemed cold. I chuckle to myself as I pictured Roxy standing next to Alicia. Her pants were soaked, and her lips were blue.

"So was Roxy that way to you babe?" she asked me. I turned on the blinker to go left as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"What do you mean?" I asked

"Well, she kept glaring at me, and she wouldn't shake my hand." she said with a concerned look. I laughed.

"No, she was meaner. At least she didn't bite your hand like she did to Ray. The first few days she was with us, we couldn't get her to talk much, she didn't trust us. But one night I heard her crying so I went to see what was wrong but she didn't want t show she was crying. I tried to comfort her but at first she was, she was just so stiff. But when she learned she could trust us she was nicer and for a while she only trusted us." I explained

"Like when she got a tutor, Anne." I began

"You mean my sister?" she asked with a smile.

I nodded. "Roxy hated her."

Laura laughed. "I know, she got her fired. But it's just, she sounded like this great kid, she saved you, sang with you, but she seems so cold."

"She is great, just give her time." I said.

I really do hope Roxy likes Laura. I still haven't told her that Laura is Anne's older sister. That might ruin any chance of Roxy liking Laura. I had met Laura through Anne actually. I invited Anne for lunch to talk to her and tell her how things were going and that we were sorry for how Roxy acted to her, though I'm sure Rox wasn't sorry at all. And she brought her sister, Laura. We hit off right away and before I knew it we were seeing each other almost everyday.