Pieces of Me

That night when George and Sophie had gone to sleep, I let George sleep on my bed because he had back problems, I sat on the floor. Why would he lie to me? I tried to replay that girl's voice in my head. It didn't sound like any girl I knew, but then I remembered that girl's threat. I was dating the most popular guy in school and a lot of girls did like him. I tired to argue with myself, he could have gotten any other girl and he chose me. But then again I didn't know about any of his other past relationships. I heard Sophie roll over on her bed.

"You're still up?" she asked, I could tell she was half awake herself.

"Can't sleep." I whispered.

"Jack?" She asked.

"Yeah." I whispered, "That and so many other things."

"Wanna tell me?" she whispered.

"Well the thing is, I like this other guy to, but he's taken so I'm kind of forcing myself to date Jack. But now I think I kinda like him." I whispered, starring at the wall in front of me.

"Who is this guy?" she asked. I could trust Sophie, I knew I could.

"Jarred." I said softly.

"Your friend?" she asked. I nodded in the darkness, but I knew she could tell that it was "Jarred".

"So you're stuck between the two? Well if you ask me, just see how things work out between you and Jack, and when Jarred comes hint on how you really feel." she said. I wish it was that simple. I was about to ask her why I had to like the guy that was taken and another guy that might be cheating on me, but her heavy breaths told me she was already asleep. I felt a little better now that I had told someone my situation, but when Sophie finds out that Jarred is actually Gerard, it's going to be another story. I sighed in frustration and slammed my head down on my pillow, commanding myself to get to sleep.

The next day went by like normal, except other girls kept looking at me and whispering. I shot them dirty looks, daring anyone to say anything about me. They just giggled even more and walked away. At lunch I went to go sit down with Jack and the rest of the cheerleaders and jocks, but they all just starred at me. A guy who loved to pick on poor George looked over at me,

"How's little Georgie?" he asked using George's nickname to taunt me. My blood began to boil, I was already upset that people were talking about me.

"Better than you'll be if you don't shut the fuck up." I said looking up at him from my salad.

"Ooooo!" everyone else said taunting the other guy. Jack came over and put his tray on the table.

"Hey Jack, keep your bitch on a leash." he said still looking at me. Oh God I wanted to punch him in his trash talking mouth. Jack laughed. I looked up at him in surprise.

"C'mon guys." he said as he sat down and put an arm around me. What the hell? He didn't try to defend me at all. Just a "C'mon guys." I looked over at him and gave him an angered look. He looked back at me with a "What did I do?" look. I rolled my eyes, picked up my tray, threw it in the trash and walked away. I didn't need to take anyone's shit. As I walked away I heard them laugh at me, but I didn't hear Jack try to stop me or even ask what he did wrong. I decided to ditch for the rest of the day I was so frustrated. Uncle Steve had warned me he would ground me from the guys and would limit my monthly allowance, but I didn't care. I put my hood of my sweater over my head and just left through the cafeteria doors and kept walking until I got to my dorm. I turned up the cd player that now had Tegan and Sara in it, but I can't remember the cd, all I know id that the song "Where Does The Good Go?" was playing. The acoustic tune didn't match my feelings, but it did calm me down. How do you know when to let go? And after you do, when does your heart start to beat again? I sat on the bed and took off my sweater then went and pulled out the hoodie that Frank had given me, it still smelt like him. I put it on and tried to fool myself into thinking I was still at his house, when I closed my eyes I was, but when0n I opened them I was at my dorm, pissed at Jack and all of his friends.

"Don't start crying now, you won't stop." I said to myself. "Don't start now." I whispered. I blinked quickly and tried to push Jack and Gerard's face far from my mind. I tried to think about a project I had in english that was due in two weeks. It was on " Alice in Wonderland". If you ask me Alic just made that world of hers to get away from everything. I wish I had my own wonderland. I was starting to lose myself in my mind when I heard a knock at the door.

'Roxy open up, it's Jack." he said knocking on the door again.

"Go away you asshole!" I yelled to him.

"Babe, what's wrong." What the hell? What does he mean by what's wrong? I got up and answered the door.

"You lied to me about going to practice then didn't care when that guy called me a bitch." I said trying to hold back my tears, but the strange thing was, it wasn't him that was making me cry, it was the fact that I was in a relationship where the guy didn't really care about me.

"He was only messing around." he said leaning against the doorway.

"So I guess he was only messing around when he gave George a black eye and bloody nose." I challenged.

"Listen, I talked to them about it they said they'd stop." he defended himself.

"Then what about last night?" I asked.

"I lied, yes but I didn't do anything bad." he said.

" Lying to your girlfriend isn't bad?" I asked sarcastically.

"I mean I didn't do anything." he said. I shook my head and laughed cold heartedly.

"You're so full of it Jack." I said and tried to close the door on him.

"Don't give me that shit Roxy." he said as he stuck his foot into the door.

"No, I will." I said turning around to face him. He came into the room all the way and closed the door.

"I could have any other girl, but I'm with you." he said raising his voice. Images of Gerard fighting with me flashed into my mind. For a minute I pictured Gerard in front of me, in jeans and a regular black t-shirt and jean jacket, raising his voice at me for going out with Ryan.

"Yea, me and that other girl." I said quietly. He shook his head.

"You know what, whatever. Just go and be pissed, I don't care." he said and turned for the door.

" I knew you wouldn't." I yelled as he left. When he did leave, that was when I began to cry. I pulled up my sleeves and cried into them. I can't have Gerard love me, so I can't have any other guy love me? I silently cried and let the tears go ahead and fall. At first I cried because The tears just seemed like they wouldn't stop, but then I cried because it began to feel good. I t felt like I was letting this feelings I had to keep secret out. I cried for a good hour or so but gradually stopped. It was around one now, and George and Sophie would be back here at around an hour and a half or so. I wiped the smeared makeup off my face and reapplied it, trying to get rid of any trace that I was crying.

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TIME ELAPSE

*warning: This chapter features stunts performed in this crazy and messed up authors head, author must insist that no one attempt to try to recreate or reenact any stunts on this sho----eh, chapter, which means if you don't like brutal things don't read this chapter. I love BAM MARGERA!!

George and Sophie had gone to work and I was home alone. Jack had gone out partying, I had learned from one of his nicer friends who called and asked if I needed a ride when he saw that I didn't come with Jack. He was probably cheating on me right now. But I don't care, I've stopped caring. Ever since I've realized I can't stop Gerard from dating Laura, since I realized there's no hope, I don't care. I plugged in Sophie's ipod and played "I Miss You" by Avril Lavigne.I really didn't like her to much but this song explained how I felt and it made me feel like I wasn't the only one in the room. Gerard was the only guy who had enough of me to brake my heart. Every time I close my eyes I see Gerard's sweet soft lips curling into a smile, and every time I open my eyes I see Jack's ice cold eyes starring at me. Only a week more until I can see him and have an excuse to hug him for a long time again.

I don't remember what time it was but I know it was late and I was finishing up some homework. I was sitting on the edge of my bed and thinking at the same time maybe it would have been better if I had died with my dad.The door slammed open. I didn't even hear the door knob turn before it did. I shot my head up as he stumbled in and slammed the door shut behind him. I could hear him breathing hard as he stumbled towards me. I slowly got up off the bed and in front of him.

"You cheated on me, didn't you?" he slurred. I could smell the alcohol and weed on him.

"No." I said in disbelief.

"I didn't do shit!" I said as I musterd up the courage to challenge him even though he was drunk.

"Bullshit!" he yelled.

"You're the one who parties and cheats on me!" I yelled back. He tried to get even closer to me and almost fell. His eyes were red and twitching from the weed, and his face was a furious red. I gaged at the smell of drugs and booze filled my nose and burned my eyes.

"Stupid bitch." he finally slurred and slapped me so hard it knocked me back onto my bed. I lifted my hand to my face in shock as the stinging pain erupted on my cheek. I shrieked as he slammed his body on top of mine. "Get Off!" I screamed desperately. He punched me in my side and I yelped in pain. I blinked furiously as the smell of him overtook me. He was so heavy, and he pinned me down so easily, I tried to kick him but he kept my legs down with his own.

He sat up on me and tried to get my shirt off me.

"Stop it!" I screamed shakily. He ignored my plea and punched me hard in the stomach and I curled up in pain and to keep my shirt on. I folded my arms and tried to lock them in place. I twisted somehow onto my side, closed my eyes and braced myself. He punched my back and stomach and in desperation clawed at my shirt, scratching me, to get my shirt off. Eventually, he ripped it off of me.

Next he went for my pants. He managed to get my belt off even though I had moved my hands onto my hips and tried to keep them there.He began to beat me with that. The belt buckle got me in the face and now I could start to feel the blood ooze down my lips and onto my neck. I lifted my hands and tried to shield my face from the belt as it came down hard on me. As he twisted his legs to keep me down but at the same time get my pants off. He knocked over my lamp that was next to my bedside on a stand. I prayed for Sophie and George to suddenly come home and help me. I began to realize the horrible truth. "Oh God, he's going to rape me!" I hoped someone, anyone, would burst in and get him off me.

He managed to get my pants off, but now that he realized he still had to get my bra and underwear off I could hear him sigh and grunt in frustration. He was tired from the struggle, and he was waisted. He began to breath harder and then collapsed on top of me, asleep. I began to sob as the the pain and realization hit me. I quietly cried as he slept on top of me. I dared not to move, what if he woke up and tried to finish the what he had started? So I laid there in my bra and underwear, and him on top of me sobbing.