Pieces of Me

I slowly moved from under him so I wouldn't wake him up. But looking back on it now, he was out cold I don't think if I were to throw him on the floor would wake him up. I quickly threw on my pants, belt and another shirt on, grabbed my cell phone and got out quickly. I ran down those stairs as if any minute he would wake up and realize I was gone and go after me. I pushed open the doors and ran down the street not looking back. I ran as hard fast and long as I could, until I has struggling to breath and it felt like someone was stabbing me in my side. Tears were streaming down my face mixing with the blood. I had no idea where I was, and I didn't care, I was away from Jack I looked around, the road had nobody on it and the lights from the houses were off.

I sat down on the sidewalk trying to breath and control the tears as I punched in the number. As the the phone rang I prayed hey would answer.

"Mmmm, this better be good." he said groggily.

"Te-Tel-," I tried to say between breaths and sobs.

"Tell-tell -m-me that m-m-my life is wor-worth living." I begged into the phone. For a minute there was complete silence then I heard him throw off his blankets and go out of the room.

"Rox what's wrong?" he asked.

"Te-tell m-me." I said trying to get my breathing back to normal.

"Roxy, you need to tell me what's wrong so I can help." he instructed.

"Jus-just tell me." I said.

"Angel, you know we all love you, so don't do anything stupid." he said, I could hear him going down stairs.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"No." I said touching my busted lip. I gasped as the stinging sensation came over my lips.

"What happened, are you hurt?" he asked more urgently.

''Yeah." I said and realized I was calming down, just his voice made me better.

"How bad?" he asked. Shit, I didn't want to worry him, he might tell Uncle Steve and have me pulled out, and who knows what Jack would do to Sophie and George.

"Just a little." I said ignoring the pain that was now actually taking hold of me.

"Are you sure, Rox?" he asked.

"Yeah, sorry I worried you." I said.

"As long as you're okay, okay I'm going to go back to bed, or do you want me to stay on with you?" he asked.

"Stay with me." I whispered. I didn't know where to go now. I was scared to go back, and that was the only place I could go, I had no where else to go.

"Alright, do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked calmly.

"I can't." I whispered.

"Yes, you can." he said. back. I hated lying to him, I wish I could tell him. I knew if I did he would probably find a way to come here right this moment. But first he would probably get all the guys , and Alicia. He would probably kill Jack if I told him. But seriously, he would first call my uncle, who would then pull me out and sue Jack blind, then Jack would go after Sophie and George, and I know for a fact he's not afraid to go beyond beating them, I know for a fact he would even go as far as killing them in the most brutal and inhumane way possible with all of his friends.

"No Gerard, I can't." I said. I looked around again and realized I had to get Jack out. What would happen when George and or Sophie got home and found Jack on my bed? My knees shook at the thought of going back, but I had to.

"Tell me." he begged. His tone of voice tore at me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. And I was, I felt like I was putting a gun to my own head and was about to pull the trigger. I began to turn around to go back to my dorm and try to get him out. This time though, if he tried to get me again I would be ready, just one kick in that one certain place would bring him down.

"Roxy, what ever it is, I won't get mad at you or anything." he said trying to coax it out of me. I wish I could tell him.

"I know." I sighed sadly.

"Gerard I'm sorry I woke you up, I need to go." I said

"Roxy, be careful, I love you, goodnight." he sighed.

"I love you to." I said into the phone wishing he would love me the way I want him to.

I tucked the phone back into my back pocket and took off my belt, the studs on it had busted my lip, and hurt me pretty badly, now if he tries anything, his blood will be on it. I made my way back and went slowly back up the stairs as my heart beat hard and quick. I pushed open the door as I quietly as I could. He wasn't asleep on my anymore. He sat on the edge of my bed, his head in his hands. He had picked up the lamp, and my clothes weren't on the floor. He slowly looked up from his hands to look at me. The belt in my hand grew heavy.

"Roxy." he whispered. I pushed the door open even more to show him that I had the belt raised high if he tried anything. For a moment we starred at each other until he finally stood up. I gasped and moved the belt out in front of me, I was ready to smack him across the face if I needed to.

"No, I won't----," he managed to say in a hoarse whisper as he put his hand up to my hand.

"I won't let you hurt me again." I said in a scared whisper. He put his hand down and looked at me. I looked into his ice cold blue eyes, I still saw no compassion even though he spoke in a whisper.

"I'm sorry." he said making no move to try to come towards me again.

"You beat me to the point where I bled, you tried to rape me." I said, the belt still in my hand. I could now see a pained look on his face, but his eyes, they stayed the same

"Roxy, I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was doing." he said.

"I was drunk, I still am." he said and took a step closer to me.

"That's no excuse." I said.

"Roxy, I would never want to hurt you, I'm so sorry." he said and came even closer. I didn't know what to do, smack him with the belt or try to see into his problem more.

"You did more than hurt me." I said taking a step back.

"Roxy, please," he said and stretched a hand out towards me. I starred down at it for a second, not sure what to do. He took the opportunity to come up and envelope me in his arms. I freaked out and started to punch him in his back and side. I heard him sigh n pain but he held me tight.

"Let me go." I said quickly.

"Roxy, just, please---" he whispered. I stopped struggling and wrapped my arms around him. I could see he wouldn’t let go unless I did so. He hugged me for a long time and I wished he would let go. I finally pushed him off and went into my room more then turned around to look at him

"You should go." I said quietly.

"Roxy I honestly-" he began to say but I cut him off.

"Just go." I said. With out arguing he turned and left. I finally dropped my belt and sighed. My body ached all over, he had said sorry, but I didn't trust him. I didn't trust him the day I met him.

I managed to fix the place up so when George and Sophie came home it wouldn't look like anything happened. I went into the bathroom and pulled off my shirt. The scratches were scabbed over, and blue bruises were beginning to appear where he had hit me. I wiped the blood off me with cold water, my lip wasn't to bad, I hoped it wasn't to bad I can't go in for stitches. I redid my makeup and tried to use lipstick that Sophie had to cover the red opening of my lip. I whined with the burning sensation but continued to apply it.

When they did come home I was under my bed covers and said I was tired and wanted to go to bed. So they clicked off the light and changed into their pajamas quietly. That night I couldn't sleep, it hurt to much, and I did get about an hours sleep until I had a nightmare about Jack beating me again. He was drunk and high, he didn't know what he was doing, it won't happen again, I hope. Why do all the other girls want him? They party with him and have to see him when he gets drunk. I wonder if he's abusive or anything like this around his friends. I pulled the covers down to my chin and wiped the lipstick off before it got all over my sheets. The lines "Another line with out a hook" from "I'm Not Okay" came to my mind. Was that what I was to Jack, another line with out a hook? I needed the guys badly right now. But they were almost half the country away from me, though they'll be here in a week. What do I do then? I can't tell them, but I might never get another chance to. I'll have to keep my mouth shut, again. Hey, I've kept it shut for this long and look what it's done to me, I'm sure it can't get to bad after this stage. Gerard has a million girls and women who love him, what would make me so special? Plus, if he likes girls like Laura then he would never be interested in a girl like me.

A/N: THANKS YOU GUYS!!! COMMENTS R LOVED!!!!