Pieces of Me

I walked up the stairs, a knot forming in my stomach again. I came to the door and knocked on it. I fixed my hair up and threw my backstage pass that I had worn down the stairs. Some drunk girl opened the door.

"Uh hi?" She slurred. I walked in past her. There would be me in maybe half an hour or so. Rap was being blasted, I could feel the drum beat in my body it was so loud. But I didn't care. I did this out of desperation.

There were so many people dancing in the front, rubbing up on each other, most were totally wasted. I spotted a huge bottle of Vodka. That's what I needed. I walked over and didn't even pour it into a cup, I twisted off the cap and took a huge swig, as big as my mouth could contain. I quickly swallowed it and took another. I set the bottle down and began to cough. My throat was burning it had an awful strong taste.

"Damn, this girl knows how to party!" Some guy said and wrapped the arm he was holding his drink with, around me.

"Hey baby, what's your name," He asked.

"What would it matter?" I asked and grabbed his cup and gulped that down to,

"Good point, wanna dance?" he slurred.

"Not tonight bud," I slurred right back and walked toward the back of the dorm, I saw a huge keg of beer where a few girls were giggling out of control. I pushed one over, not caring that one of them was in my p.e class.

"Move," I slurred and took a plastic cup out of the bag hey were in and filled it up to the brim with beer. I was basically binge drinking. That shit got you wasted very fast.

I closed my eyes, trying to keep myself balanced then opened them again and filled the cup up again.

"Shit," I mumbled and tried to keep my self up by leaning on the keg.
I chugged the cup again and flung it across the room. I imagined it hitting Laura in the head. Why the hell should I care about them? I saved Gerard's ass, and how does he thank me? By forgetting me and marrying some whore.

"I wondered if you were gonna come!" I heard a familiar voice say. Oh no, not him. This was the only string attached if I came, Jack.

"Well I'm here," I slurred trying to give him a tone that said "Warning: In a crappy mood, try to hit on at own risk"

He put his arm around me, his drink in my face. "Hey, tonight no strings attached let's just have fun," he slurred.

I reached for his cup. "Hey, this is mine, you gotta get your own, girl," he smiled at me. I giggled with out meaning to. I ignored him and pulled his arm closer by the sleeve and took his drink and gulped it down.

"You know you're still mine right?" he slurred.

I laughed loudly. "You're funny," I slurred back.

"You, you think that' I,' hick hickuped right then 'Just because I came here I'm yours," I managed to slur.

"Well you are, I don't care what you say," he said back.

"C'mon, let's go outside," he said and pushed me towards the door. I slipped a few times, but with all the alcohol I had in me I didn't care. I carefully went down the stairs and outside, stumbling every few steps. It was so hot inside, but so nice out here. I attempted to spin with my arms out but I fell flat on my ass and laughed.

"You know, maybe you're better than him," I said as he sat down next to me.

"At least you would notice me'" I slurred looking straight at the parking lot. "Unlike an ungrateful bastard I know!" I yelled at a gray Honda.

"Then come here and give me a kiss,'" he slurred.

I looked over at him and laughed very loudly. "I said maybe," I slurred.

"Only, one way to find out," he said and got up, stumbling towards me.

"I'd rather leave it a,' I hick uped again. 'A mystery," I said and smiled. I was drunk, drunker than drunk. Was this how Gerard was once? Did he know he was putting me through this?
I couldn't stop smiling, but I knew I shouldn't.

"I guess one kiss," I managed to slur out. he grabbed me by my waist and kissed me on my lips. It was not how Gerard did it in my dream, his was passionate, gentle, amazing. His was wet, forced, as if this was going to be his last one forever.

I suddenly realized what I was doing, even though I was drunk as drunk could get and extremely clumsy. I pushed him away from me.

"No, I can't," I slurred and tried to walk away. He pulled me back gently by my elbow.

"C'mon let's have some fun," he slurred and laughed as he pulled me into his arms, and grabbed my butt.

"No, let go," I slurred, trying to get his arms off of me. But they wouldn't budge. I stood still and let him hold me, my head was starting to hurt though.

"C'mon let's go back to my place,"

"N-no," I choked out.

"Baby, don't start acting this way," he slurred and rubbed my back. I pulled back, pretending I was trying to hold his hand. But instead of grasping it I dropped it and walked away.

"Hey! I'm not done with you!" he yelled over at me.

"Well I'm done with you," I slurred and tried to walk away.

I walked over to the road that would lead be back to the north dormitories where I could cry all I want to and be in the comfort of friends. I was drunk, and it did feel good, I had an excuse to let out any emotion I wanted.

I kept walking until I felt like a bull had hit me and knocked me to the floor.

"Don't you ever walk away from me!" Jack whispered in my ear.

"Get up!" He said and got off of me. But I was to stunned to do anything. My dream seemed to be replaying itself. Though this empty road was nothing like the nightmare forest. I slowly tried to get up on my feet but stumbled and fell again.

"I said get up!" he said harshly and slapped me across the face.

I yelped in pain, but slowly rose to my feet. My cheek didn't hurt as much thanks to the vodka and beer. That gave me the upper hand, I would be able to fight back, and not go down as easily.

"Don't you ever fucking touch me again!" I said putting as much venom in my words as I possibly could.

He smirked at me, "Who's gonna stop me?" he asked and came over to me and ran his fingers through my hair. I pushed his hand away from my face. He gave me a vicious look and slapped me in the back of the head with so much force I fell down.

"Get back up," He said. Even the alcohol couldn't make this much pain go away. I didn't even try to get up, I stayed on the ground. I tried to focus on how much better this felt compared to seeing that ring on Laura's finger.

''I said get back up, damn it!" he said and kicked me in my side. I screamed at the sharp pain, and hoped he hadn't broken anything. I remembered what Gerard had whispered in my ear, "If it's a guy, I will murder him." I tried to make that voice stay with me as he continued to kick me, step on me, and punch my back.

Gerard, I'm taking this just for you.

For a few mere seconds he stopped, I was shaking in fear and pain, but I manage to drag myself up to my knees.

"And I said, don't touch me!" I whispered and punched him as hard as I could in his weak spot. He made a groaning noise and doubled over. I managed to smile.

"Jack! Where are you?" I heard some girl call. I fell back down on my back, exhausted and in pain.

Jack managed to get up, pick me up and look around. I was in so much pain to care what he was going to do with me. I felt and heard him walk over somewhere and then he dropped me. I groaned in pain, he had dropped me in a rose bush, where no one could see me.

"Coming!" he yelled and ran away from the scene of the crime.

I laid in the bush, motionless for about ten minutes and then got up, and had to drag myself home.

***

I knocked on our door, George opened it. I immediately felt safe and practically collapsed on him.

"Oh my god, Sophie!" he yelled back into the room.

"What's wro-" she couldn't finish her sentence because she screamed way to loud before she could.

"Oh My god, Roxy, what the hell happened?" she asked. George piked me up and gently laid me down on my bed. I was grateful he was strong enough to carry me there, I was to tired to take my own self to my bed.

"Jack," I said and managed to pull myself up. Sophi went into the bathroom and came out with band aides and neosporin.

"That bastard!" she said angrily.

"I'm gonna kill him for this," George said, balling his fists up. Number one rule : Don't ever get George pissed. He can take beatings but when he gets really mad, it's one of the stupidest things you could do.

That night was spent cleaning me up and plots on how to kill Jack.

"Gerard will definitely kick his ass," Sophie said putting a band aid on my face.

"No! We can't tell him, or any of them!" I quickly said making George miss where he was going to put a wash cloth on me and accidental slapped it on me.

"Ow!" I yelped.

"Well if you would stay still," he laughed.

"Why not!" Sophie snapped back.

"They have other shit going on," was my pathetic excuse, and I knew it was.

"Oh so you getting beat senseless isn't important?" She challenged.

"It is, it's just," I tried to think of a believable excuse.

"Okay, I give you until tomorrow to tell everyone, including Gerard. If you don't do it, we will,"George said. And by his tone I knew that was the end of it, they were forcing me to tell Gerard.