Pieces of Me

My cheeks felt extremely hot, I was blushing. My legs felt like jello and for some reason I forgot all about all the horrible things he had said about me. Either I'm in love, or I am one slip up from being in a mental hospital.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" I whispered. My eyes wide in surprise, as I clinged to his arms so scared that he would let me go.

He smirked and kissed my forehead. "C'mon," he merely said and gently led me inside the building.

"Which dorm is yours?" he asked as we went up the blue stair case.

Shit, what was my dorm number? I was so lucky I was still able to remember how to speak English, let alone remember my dorm's number. Hell, I would be happy to sleep in a box tonight, so long as he was there.

"I think it's seventy-six," I replied.

I unlocked the door and we got in. He stepped into the bathroom and then motioned for me to go over as well. I went and sat on the edge of the bathtub as he went into the medicine cabinet pulling out band-aids, a wash cloth and rubbing alcohol.

I took a quick breath when I saw the alcohol, that shit burned like crazy. He smiled as he looked at me from the corner of his eyes and put the washcloth under the faucet as he turned it on.

"It'll only sting for a little while," he said and carried all of the stuff to the floor and got on his knees so his face was right in front of mine.

"They always say that," I sighed.

He laughed and put the warm cloth to my face. I involuntarily pulled my face back, he smiled and gently held my head with his other hand.

He silently cleaned my face and arms. When he cleaned my face his eyes never left mine. His soft hazel eyes seemed to warm me even though the water from the wash cloth began to get cold. I might have been shivering from that or the fact it was only me and him and that he had kissed me. When he cleaned off my arms and put bandages on a few cuts he seemed so focused on trying not to hurt me.

"I feel so guilty," he finally murmured.

"It wasn't your fault," I said and pulled my sleeve up farther.

"Partly," he said and pressed the cloth to a cut.

With my one free hand I gently lifted up his chin so he was looking me straight in the eyes.

"But you saved me. More than you know," I whispered. My lips were quivering.

He pulled his head away and pulled down my sleeve and got up and went to lean over the sink. He sighed and rolled his hands into fists, I could feel the tension roll off of him. I slowly got up as well.

"Why did you take it for me?" he asked.

"Because I saw she didn't like when I got attention. I heard you both fighting. And I didn't want to be taken away from Sophie or George. Don't get selfish now," I said

He turned around and gave me a questioning glance.

"I didn't take it for just you. Hell part of the time I was trying to force myself to stop liking you, trying to convince myself it could never happen," I said.

He nodded in understand meant. "You should have told me yesterday," was all he said.

"After how close we had gotten, I couldn't! I..I..Don't do this to me," I choked out.

Tears began to slide down my cheeks. Tears of relief, tears of forgiveness, tears of happiness, tears of confusion. I had no idea one person could feel all these emotions at once.

"Were you scared of me?" he asked gently.

"Yes and no," I said and folded my arms.

"I...I was scared to admit that I lied to you, and I wanted to tell you so that you could hold me and tell me everything was okay, that we would get through this...like you used to do," I said. That last part of my sentence was so hard to say.

"Used to? Are you saying I've changed?" he asked.

"Immensely," I replied.

"How?" he asked.

"You don't draw as much as you used to. A lot of your patience has disappeared, you seemed tired most of the time, and you never have fun anymore. At least not when Laura's around," I said.

"Oh Angel, don't cry," he whispered and came over and hugged me.

I couldn't help but to cry. I wrapped my arms around him and slowly breathed in his familiar, comforting scent.

"I think this angel can't fly anymore..." I said sadly. He tightened his grip around me and put a hand behind my head, making me rest it against hi shoulder. He knew I was saying that this was just about the last thing that I could take. Anymore heartbreak, let downs, fights any anything, would push me to the brink of my sanity. There's only so much one person can take.

I felt something warm on my neck. A drop of water, a drop of a tear. He was crying. This time I tightened my grip.

"You never answered my question," I whispered into his shoulder.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" I asked.

"It only makes it that much harder Roxy,"

"No, don't say that," I said and began to cry even harder. He meant, he couldn't decide who to pick, me or Laura.

"Don't leave me in the dark again! I'm tired of crying at night by myself. Tired of only dreaming of being in your arms," I said and grasped his back even more with my hands.

"Don't let me fall again Gerard. I don't think I can get back up anymore," I cried.

I felt more tears on the back of my neck as they trickled down the side of it and down my shoulder into my shirt. He gently pulled me back so I could look into his eyes, as they leaked tears of heartbreak.

"I will never let you fall," he whispered and put his hand on my cheek.

"I will never let anyone harm you again," he said.

"But Gerard, how can you protect me when your so far from me on tour and in Laura's arms?!?" I cried. He wiped a tear that slid down my cheek with his thumb.

"I only wish it was that simple," he cried and pulled me back into his arms.

"Then make it," I whispered softly.

"I can't," he whispered back, disparity screaming from his choked words.

"It seems you never can," I said and this time pulled myself from his arms.

"Angel," he whispered as his hand grazed my shoulder as he tried to bring me back into his arms.

I went out from the bathroom and went over to my bed. I got on it and curled into a ball, pulling my knees close to my chest. I heard him walk over and sit on the bed. He sniffled and grabbed a tissue from the table side. I didn't need a tissue, I was used to crying.

"Forget about deciding tonight. I owe you this much," he said and laid down on the bed and pulled me to his chest. I tensed up, locking my arms around my legs. He didn't try to do anymore. He only curled his arms around my waist, my back against his chest.

I slowly dropped my legs and put my arms on top of his and turned around, looking into his eyes. He wasn't crying anymore, though his eyes were still damp. I put one hand on his cheek.

"Gerard Arthur Way," I whispered.

"I love you,"

He did not smile, he did not cry, he did not smirk. He closed his eyes, pulled me closer so my head rested under his chin.

"Roxanne," he whispered, and then I could feel him smile, he let out a small chuckle.

"I don't know your middle name," he whispered into my ear.

"Marie," I whispered. I had always hated my middle name.

"Roxanne Marie Olivander, I believe I am falling for yo,." he whispered.