Pieces of Me

JUNE,

My birthday had passed, I was now eightteen.All the guys and Alicia and my uncle had gotten me a present. Even Gerard. I really didn't want to open his, so I hid it under my bed and only opened the rest in front of George and Sophie.

When they fell asleep I slowly reached under my bed and picked up the wrapped box. I slowly and silently tore off the pink and black wrapping paper. He must have picked it out himself. I pulled the top oox off and a blank peice of paper that said "Still think about you, don't do anything rash."

I suddenly felt like Bella from the "Twilight" series, how Edward was always sayinh things like that to her. I know how she feels, maybe we're the same people at times. I took that piece of paper out and smiled slightly at the other presents.

A picture of me he had drawn looked up at me. My hair was down, half my eye was covered but still visable with my hair. And my lips were slightly open and I had a peading look. Did I always look this way at him? The words "Please don't leave me" were under me. Did he have a hard time writing this? Especially when I really did say this to him?

Under that were more pictures of us he had drawn. There was one that made me smile. It was a picture of me adn Gerard that I had seen before. I was up on his shoulders and he was holding my wrists so I wouldn't fall. I was smiling so wide and so was he.

They were all pictures of all of us together and he had finished that song he had been writing. I was right, I was about me.

I put down the present and pulled te covers close to me. Graduation day was coming and so was the wedding day. I wasn't looking forward to either. I had sent in letters to colledges I wanted to go to and ones that my Uncle wanted me to go to.

Since the guys have left, Gerard and I had become more distatnt, but my relationship wiht the rest of the guys is still the same. I was able to write to my mother, she had heard bits and pieces of what had happed to me over these two years. She was doing better, talking to therapists and eating better. She had even wrote that she had missed me, though I haven't gotten a phone call from her. Maybe I would be sad about it, but that day whe she left us ruined that "mother and daughter" bond.

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GERARD'S P.O.V

I have only three words, "I'm a mess," I don't know why and how I was able to put up with myself for so long. Since our last goodbye at Roxy's school my relationship with everyone has tumbled downwards. I've gotten into drinking again, but I've managed to leave the cocain alone.

She barely talks to me anymore, and I miss her, badly. Fights with Laura have become longer and more serious, sometimes over the stupidest things, I hardly apologize anymore. Who am I?

I feel like I did on "Warped Tour." And that sacres me. Speaking of scaring me, Roxy did scare me. When she threatened to kill herself or just plain give up, I got scared for her. I call George or Sophie everydy to check up on her, but I doubt she knows that. I'm proud of her, she managed to tell someone else about that Jack guy and now he's rotting in jail. She's graduating soon and going off to college. Look at her, and look at me.

I bet she barley thinks of me I hurt her so bad. I bet she even hates me. No, I can't say that. Sophie and George says there's barely a night where she doesn't cry, wether its just a little tear or sobbing. I hate myself for what I did to her, but it was for her own good, and mine.

I was scared about wht people would think, hell not about me, but about her. I'm sure they would call her all kinds of shit, and make up so many rumors abotu her. Why is it that doing the right thing never feels right?