Pieces of Me

I spent around a half hour reading every grave stone. Most had older people, some around my dad's age but none of them so far were his. What saddened me was a girl's grave, a little younger than me, she was sixteen. That would have been the age I would have died. It made me think. Would it really be better for me to be here, buried under all this? Would it really stop the pain, or am I just taking life for gratitude?

I checked her name, "Sara Reeds". Would Sara take the chance to be alive in half a second if she could? I stood back up and continued to scan the gravestones. Finally I recognized a name. Dad's grave stone. I clutched the bouquet and ran to it and got on my knees in the grass in front of it. the grass had long been growing, showing no sign that he had been recently buried.

"Dad," I smiled, my eyes stinging and threatening to let the tears slip.

I put the bouquet in front of the grave stone, next to a planted tulip plant, bearing only one flower. The other bouquets held dead flowers, some holding only stems from the dead flowers.

I hugged the tombstone, the closest I would ever get to hugging him again.

"It's me," I smiled and wiped a tear from my eye.

"I graduated, see!" I said and brought out the folded diploma they had mailed me.

"Just like you said you knew I could. I even got to say something at the ceremony," I said and wiped another tear.

"And Mom's writing to me now. She doesn't call all that much but she's writing. She says she misses us. Hard to believe huh?" I folded my hands in my lap, trying to hide the hole.

"She sounded sad when I said you...passed," The last word was still hard to say.

"I miss you," I said and let a tear fall onto a rose pedal.

"But Uncle Steve's taking good care of me and I have great friends. Four of them are like my older brothers. The fifth, well I don't know. His name's Gerard. He's a great guy, but lately it's been so awkward," I suddenly got the image of Dad crossing his arms at me, wanting to know who this person was. I laughed through happy but sad tears.

" He has a band, and is really nice. I think, I'm in love with him Dad. I don't really know, I'm not to sure of anything right now," I said.

i spent the entire afternoon talking to my Dad. I didn't see it as talking to a gravestone, I saw it was talking to him. I knew that he already knew the things that had been happening with me but i told them all anyways. Everything from waking up in the hospital, being so damn confused and Jack, and up until now. It felt good to tell him that.

I did cry a lot, but they were tears of relief. When I knew I had to go, the sun was getting low, it was around seven. and even though it was growing colder, it suddenly felt warmer by the gravestone.

I wiped my cheeks from the falling tears and smiled and hugged the gravestone one last time.

"I'll be back Dad, maybe this time with the guys and Uncle Steve. I know you'll love them," I smiled and got up making my way to the gate.

Except there was a bit of a problem. The gate was now locked. A big metal chain wrapped around its bars, sealed with a lock. I shook the gates, hoping I would not have to spend the night here. Don't get me wrong there's something peaceful about cemeteries, but not at night! It was creepy, especially since I was alone.

"Open damn it!" I yelled but I knew just shaking the gates wouldn't open them.

"Fuck," I whined. I had to think of a way to get out. This time the walls were taller than me, ivy growing on the red bricks. I looked down at my ballerina flats. I could try to climb the wall if I got a good grip on the ivy but the ballerina flats might make me slip.

It wasn't night yet but in a bout an hour it would be, and there was no way I could miss my bus. What was I going to do, walk back to my dorm? I backed up until I touched a tomb stone and ran and jumped at the ivy, grabbing a fist full of it. I was maybe a little less than a foot above the ground.

I was dangling and my hands were starting to hurt. It reminded me when Ryan and I had to sneak into the hotel, I really wish he was here, he could help me up he was so strong. But there was no one here, well anyone else who was alive any ways. I smiled at my joke as I propped my feet against the wall.

"Spider Man makes it look too easy," I muttered as I tried to grab another fist full of ivy and pushed myself up with my right foot. So far so good the top of the wall was just a few inches from my hands. With my other hand I grabbed more ivy and with my other foot I pushed myself up again.

"Yes!" I said with excitement, I could now reach the top of the wall. I grabbed it and began to pull myself up. As I put my foot up to prop myself up again the exact thing I predicted would happened, happened.

My ballet flat smeared the leaves, making them slippery. I slipped and could hear my stalkings rip again and I felt the wall and ivy scrape up my right leg as well as the palms of my hands.

"Shit," I cursed under my breath.

I again tried to pull myself up, hoping not to slip again, but this time with my other leg. I managed to get myself p on top of the wall. I sighed and then looked down. I could sprain an ankle if I jumped from here. But I might fall regardless, if I tried to climb down. I decided to attempt to climb back down.

I only lowered myself a few inches from the top off the wall then my hands lost grip of the strong ivy. I fell on my ass.

"Okay, next time, I'll check the cemetery's schedule," I said standing up and rubbing my butt.

I jogged to the front of the cemetery because it was getting dark now. And I didn't want to be stuck here at night. I don't care what Gerard says about vampires or any other creature of the dark. I don't know if they're all "Casper the friendly ghosts" or merciless souls like in horror movies, and I was not about to find out.

I came to the main entrance almost out of breath and just in time. It was dark, and the street lights were on. I didn't even try to not rip my dress or stalkings again. I full on jumped over the wall, hoping I had Mexican blood in me. I smiled at my joke when my feet touched the other side of the side walk.

I walked over to the bus stop hoping the next one would come soon.