Pieces of Me

“So what’s up?” he asked me.

“Just wanted to call you, see what’s up,” I said as I heard Sophie roll over on her bed.

“My room mates are asleep so yeah,” I said and smiled over at them. I heard him chuckle.

“So they your only friends?” he asked.

“That’s more than you had in high school,” I smirked.

“Hey, I had friends, they just weren’t real,” we both laughed.

“I had friends, who do you think the rest of these guys were? Anyways, hows school?” he asked. Gerard always checked up on my school work. That’s the only part of him that ever annoys me, but I know he means well.

“School sucks,but I’m doing the work. Almost got fired last week, helped Sophie with her homework, then called you," I said. I heard the t.v go on over there then someone whisper. I could hear Gerard go upstairs to a room, probably his.

“So you just called cause you missed me?” he asked as in a childish voice. I could picture him doing his bunny face.

“You? Nah, just wanted to bug you,” I laughed.

“I miss all of you guys,” I said quietly. I heard him sigh.

“Hate to admit it, but I miss you too,” he said and laughed.

“You’re mean,” I said.

“Hey, I said I missed you,” he said sweetly. I wish I could talk to him in person.

“So when do you get Christmas break?” he asked. I looked over to our calender where we circled breaks in red.

“Umm, in another two weeks,”I said as I flipped through the calender pages.

“I’m saving up for presents for you guys, plus Sophie and Gie,” I said using George’s nickname

“Kick ass, two presents!” he said.

“No,” I laughed, I could picture Gerard dancing at the thought he was going to get two presents.

“That’s George’s nickname, along with Georgie,” I smiled.

“Oh so you gave my name to him? I see how it is,” he chuckled.

“Hey babe! You gonna stay on the phone all night or you gonna come sit with me and we can “watch” the movie together, if you catch my drift,” the woman's voice said.

I don’t know what got into me. I don’t know why I did what I did. Something ran in my blood. I suddenly decided I hate who ever that woman was, I suddenly hated her more than all the girls that tease at us and try to beat us up over here.

“Leave me for some other girl, fine I see how it is,” I said trying to hide my hurt voice as I hung up. I regretted doing that not even a second after that came from my mouth. He’s not my boyfriend, so what do I care, he’s like thirteen years older than me. I shouldn't’t care if he has a girlfriend, I should be happy even.

“You’re jealous,” the little voice inside me said.

“Oh fuck, not you again,” I said back to it.

“You like him,” she taunted.

“No, he’s just a friend,” I corrected it.

“No, you’re a liar,” she said back, I could almost here that voice laughing.

“You enjoy this don’t you?” I asked coldly.

“Just admit it,” it said back.

“Just fuck off,” I said out loud. I peaked over at Sophie and George, it’s a good thing they hadn’t heard me.

Confused, and cold, (George had take most of my blankets) I climbed into bed, I knew I wouldn't’t be able to sleep. It wouldn't be the first night though. I had always had a hard time sleeping since I got here. I guess it’s because the people that grew onto and loved me and I had become so used to, weren’t here. And I couldn't’t here him snoring from the back. No matter how loud or weird t sounded it actually made me drift off to sleep. And most mornings I would always find his or the other guy’s blanket on me.

I starred at the ceiling, his voice saying he missed me haunted me. I tried to push it out with thoughts of schoolwork, but his smile kept coming up in my mind. I do love him, just not like that though, right?

I closed my eyes and slowly drifted off to sleep.

“Roxy, wake up!” Sophie said as she shook me awake. I opened my eyes and Sophie and the rest of the guys except Gerard were on the side of my bed. I gasped and wrapped my arms around Mikey, who was closest to me.

“C’mon, you’re going to be late!” Sophie said and practically dragged me out of bed.

“What the hell, late for what?” I asked.

“Gee's wedding duh!” she said as our dorm suddeny turned into a beautiful old church with stained glass windows.

“Gie’s getting married? So which one’s wearing the dress?” I asked laughing as Sophie and I sat down on a pew where the guys had suddenly appeared at.

“Not Gie, Gee,” she said and pointed to a man who was waiting at the alter. I gasped as I saw the man who was wearing the black and red suit with his black hair was Gerard.

“Who’s he marring?” I asked Sophie. She didn’t answer, she stood up and looked towards the back doors where the bride was coming down. I couldn’t see her face.

Slowly she walked down to Gerard. I tried to yell to Gerard what was going on, but I couldn’t talk. I opened my mouth, nothing. Oh my God, what's’s wrong with me!?! I looked up at Gerard he was putting his ring onto her finger.

“Gee wait!” I tried to yell. Nothing came out. As the woman began to slip her ring on his finger I ran to the alter. But with every step I took, the alter got farther, and farther, and farther away from me.

I could see the priest asking if anyone wold object. I ran my hardest to the alter, but my feet, they felt like cinder blocks. Please, Gerard there’s something I need to tell you. I looked up, it was to late, they were kissing.

It felt like someone had stabbed my heart, ripping it, shredding it. I could feel the blood from my scars from where I used to cut myself bleed. What was happening? I felt week, as they made their way to me.

I stretched my arm out to Gerard as he began to pass me.

“Please help me,” I begged, my words coming out in a faint whisper. He looked at me, bending over me and looking at my bleeding wrists.

He shook his head, with a hurt expression.

“Gee please, I saved you! You sometimes call me angel! You’re my hero, and I lo- I lov-” but it was too late. They had passed me. Everyone was leaving with them, throwing flower pedals, and rice at them. I felt tears run down my face.

I looked back at the alter where my worst nightmare had come true. But now it was set for a funeral. I looked around as things began to blur. I had a dress on, my hair was neat, I was a deathly paper pale. It was my funeral. I was dead.’

I felt hands wrap around me and lift me. All of the guys carried me towards a black and silver coffin. No, please, hear me. I didn’t even have the strength to open my mouth. Gerard was carrying my legs. I raised my eyes to him.

“Gerard, I need to tell you something,” I wanted to say. I wanted to at least hug him one last time. I wanted to tell him something I had been wanting to tell him since I discovered his music.

They opened the coffin and put me in. Each starred at me and walked away, until it was Gerard’s turn. He came up to me, and ran his finger across my cheek. He kissed my forehead then looked at me.

“Don’t leave me,” I wanted to say. So many words left unsaid. He pulled the coffin shut and it went dark.