Pieces of Me

We sound like a bunch of geese as we climbed the stairs to get inside the apartment because we were laughing and talking so much. Everyone made their way to my room and threw their bags onto the floor, not bothering to unpack. George even went and threw his bag at my closet and then threw himself onto my bed.

"Yeah," he sighed to himself.

"I'm sleeping here," he said and looked over at me.

"Then you'll have to make room for me," I said.

"I'm a bed hog," he said and turned to watch us come in on his side.

"Yeah and besides, I get i get dibs on the bed," Sophie said and jumped onto my bed landing on Sophie.

"Girl I will punch you if you do not get off," George said.

"Gie, you couldn't punch a pillow," Sophie said and gave him a hug.

I smiled, I really did miss them. I turned my head and followed Kirk with my eyes as he probed around my room.

"It's a little plain," he said

"Yeah, it's because I just moved in practically," I said

"Oh, so this only your share of what's from the dorm?" he asked.

"Yup, but my uncle promised to buy me a few other things," I smiled.

"I'm bored!" George announced.

"Hey let's go somewhere," Sophie said and opened my window.

"Where?" I asked.

"Don't you live here, you're the one who's supposed to know," Sophie said and waved out the window.

"How come people don't wave back?" she asked.

"It's New York, Soph," I said.

"Yeah smart one," Kirk said and went over and slapped her gently.

We decided on just walking around. Uncle Steve made us swear we would stay together and handed me fifty bucks to shop around but told me to keep a dollar just in case. He said that's what saved Ray one time when they left him at a hotel once. There was absolutely no phone service and he had to go around all day and ask for a dollar in pennies nickles and dimes. Ray swore that no one in that place had a quarter and the hotel's phones were out.

We shopped around mostly trying things on in the mall. George had us running around and practically stalking this one guy who he thought was cute and swore was gay or bi. We slowly followed the guy around as he walked with a few other people.

But they soon caught on. Who wouldn't notice a bunch of older teens trying to sneak around with big awkward bags of clothes.

When we got back my uncle had dinner ready.

"What smells good?" George asked coming in.

"Dinner," My uncle said as he took out plates and put them on the table.

After dinner we went to my room and fought over my little stereo for who's ipod it should play. As we listened to music we joked around about the day as night slowly lingered on. A knot began to form in my stomach. The feelings of the thought that I had slept with Gerard were eating me inside.

That's it, I had to tell them. But not when Kirk is around. No, he can't know for sure. Only Sophie and George at the most. And even then that's taking a chance. What if they tell one of the guys, or confront Gerard about it?

My hands shook though it looked as if I was totally relaxed. My head shot up as the phone rang. I picked it up since it was right next to me.

"Hello?"asked.

"Hi is Sophie or Kirk there?" A female's voice asked. It must have been Jamia.

"Yeah hold on," I said

"Soph, catch," I said to her and threw the phone. She caught it and began to talk to her sister.

I leaned my head back, deciding that I would blast the music, forcing Kirk to take the phone outside the room with him. I faded in and out of how they would react to my news. But finally Sophie handed Kirk the phone.

"What's up Jam?" he asked.

I took the remote from George and said "I love this song," and turned it up.

Kirk got up and just as planned left the room. I took a big breath and got up.

"You guys, I need to tell you something.," I said

"What?" George said over the music.

"Come here," I said mentioning to the both of them.

As they scooted closer the door opened again and I cringed, hoping Kirk wouldn't come in. But instead he tossed the phone at us, it landed right next to me, and I thought he said something, but the music was to loud tell. Sophie went over and turned the music off altogether and scooted over to me.

"What is it?" she asked.

I sighed and began to rethink my decision to tell them.

"You know you can tell us anything, honey," George said putting a hand on my lap. Sophie followed suit.

"I, I love Gerard," I squeaked out as I fought over control of the flow of tears as my emotions began to sweep through me.

"We all do," Sophie said.
'
"No, I mean, I'm in love," I said. I can't lose it now.

"But he's getting married." Sophie said and gave me a sympathetic look that gave me no comfort though I know she was trying her best.

"And that'd the thing. I've been trying to get myself to stop," I said as a single tear fell from my eye and onto George's ring on his hand. It showed my reflection.

"Is it really that hard?" George asked.

"That's not the thing," I said. Now I was shaking with nervousness.

"You see, on Saturday he invited me to spend the night," I said. Sophie's grip on my leg tightened.

"One thing lead to another," I said, now it was getting harder for me to speak.

"I slept with him," I managed to choke out. I put my hands over my face with shame.

It was silent and then I felt them get up and just hug me. They didn't say anything if they thought it was wrong or not, they just hugged me.

"Ow!" George said and stood up.

"Stupid phone," he said and pressed the off button on it and put it back on the receiver.