Pieces of Me

"Then how did you get out of your uncle's wedding?" he asked and leaned forward.

"I became invisible for about an hour?" I said smiling innocently. He rolled his eyes and sighed.

"So Frank?" he asked.

I sighed too, "Frank. But please don't be mad at him. I was the one who snuck out," I said.

He looked at my eyes as if there was something there. I blinked several times in case there was. The tension was driving me crazy and my heart beat began to climb, it was obvious with the machine beeping faster. I wanted to unplug the damn thing.

"I just wish you would have worn your heels," he said.

"I do to," I said and looked over at the lump under the blankets that was my bandaged foot.

"You looked pretty hott in them," he said and looked at me with a smirk that sent my heart rate through the roof and made me blush violently as the room began to get hotter and hotter.

"Thanks," I almost coughed out. Now my heart was really going and he could hear it. He laughed and leaned back.

"I probably shouldn't have done that," he said and drank the rest of his coffee then threw the empty cup at the blue waste basket.

"Why?" I ask.

"I just wanted to see you blush one last time," he said and looked down, avoiding me now.

"Last time?" I ask. He nodded.

"Why?" I asked again.

"Tour," he sighed.

"It's not like you're not gonna see me again," I said and smiled at him. He placed his hand on my leg, I sat up and put my hand over his.

"On tour for about two years Roxy. You're gonna go to school, and face it we just won't see each other as much," he said looking deep into my eyes I looked right back as it became harder to breath.

"I can go with you," I say softly.

"I'd prefer if you didn't," he said and pulled his hand off of me but I held onto his. He tried to look down and pull his hand away gently but I pulled it towards me,holding it against my neck.

"Why?" I asked, his response began to tug at my heartstrings.

"I can't be selfish," he said and pulled his hand away from me altogether. I could still feel his hand in mine though.

"Selfish?" I asked.

"Roxy, I'm living my dream, I'll be holding you back, your uncle will be pissed off at me, seeing that you can do no wrong in his eyes. That and the media might find out about all of this mess. They will find out about the last minute breakup by tomorrow. The media can be man eaters at time. They don't care who they hurt," he said looking me deep in the eyes. No Roxy, you promised yourself. He had to chose and this is his choice. Besides look, he was thinking about you the entire time.

I couldn't help myself. A small tear began to build up in each of my eyes. I began to blink fast and looked to the side trying to hide them as they slowly fell.

"Do you though?" I manage to ask.

"Do I what?" he asked leaning forward. He gently turned me to face him with his hand on my chin.

"Do you care who you hurt?" I asked.

"Oh Angel," he said softly and got up and sat on the bed and held me. I looked over at the window as he did. The sun was slowly setting on a nightmare if he really did mean this decision.

"What I did to you was wrong. These feelings I built into you was wrong for me to do," he said and put his hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair.

"Don't say that!" I said and hit him in his shoulder. He held me tighter and I buried my face in his neck.

"I never regretted any of this. Now tell me you didn't either," I began to cry and prayed that I would still be able to talk clearly as I did. He was silent and only held me close to him. I could feel his heart beat against my chest and he could hear mine thanks to the machine. They were both beating steady, but at a different pace.

"Rox...I-" but he stopped himself.

"No Gerard!" I cried.

"You didn't regret it. When we had sex you didn't stop yourself. You weren't drunk, you didn't get "caught up in the moment" you and I both know what we were doing!" I said wanting to yell but two to many people knew already.

"Some more than others," he said and he couldn't help himself but to laugh. I hit him in his shoulder.

"Ow!" he said and held me tighter so that now I couldn't even move that arm.

"You know what I mean!" I hiss into his ear.

"We all make mistakes," he said.

"That was no mistake and you know it," I cried next to his ear.