Pieces of Me

He sat quietly as he held me and I cried on his shoulder. He didn't mind that his shoulder was stained with tears or that his shoulder was pretty wet now he just held me, patiently waiting for me to get it together.

"Now I know," I began to sing softly. To myself or to him, I don't know.

"That I can't make you stay, but where's your heart? But where's your heart?" I sang.

"And I know there's nothing I can say, to change that part, to change that part," he sang right back as softly as I did. Of course he sounded much better than I did, but I think I got my point across.

" I wish," he finally said as I heard him sniffle. I didn't really see Gerard cry all that much to be honest. He usually hid it well, while I only tried my best but failed miserably. But I felt that tear drop off his face and land softly on the crook of my back giving me the chills as it ran down the curve of my neck to my shoulder and disappeared into my shirt.

"I wish that there was some way," he whispered.

"There is," I said and pulled my self from his arms and looked into his eyes, both my hands cradling his face.

"We can keep our mouths shut, you kept Laura a secret for a year," I said and smiled trying to get him to smile as well. He only looked to the side, starring at the chair he was sitting in.

"That's because she's not in the media, Roxy you have fans of your own! You saw them how they cheered for you that one time. And you don't have any reason to be on tour with us! Your uncle already told some magazine that you were going off to college," he said and put his hands on mine on his face.

"We can try," I begged.

"What if they find out?" he sighed.

"I'm eighteen! They can't do anything. And you're Gerard fucking Way, what you say is like law to many of your fans," I said searching for any other excuse that I could get him to reconsider. But Gerard is a hell of a stubborn man.

"Roxy, I-" but he was cut off by his cell phone going off.

"Shit," he mumbled as he pulled out his phone and brought it up to his ear.

"Hello?" he called.

"Oh, yeah I'm here, nah she was just sleeping. Alright. No they didn't say anything. Okay then, see you soon. Wait, both? Mikey did? Does Steve know, he might get pissed. Oh alright then," he said then hung up and stood up, putting the phone back into his pocket.

"Wipe away your tears honey, everyone's coming back here, but Jamia's a little drunk, so is Sophie," he said and smiled as he wiped away a tear of his own.

"Sophie?" I asked.

"Apparently she was worried so much Mikey just gave her a glass of champagne, a beer, a few shots and now she's better," he said.

"So how drunk is she?" I asked.

"We'll see," he said and sat back down on the chair.

"You're makeup is all smeared," he said and quickly licked his thumb and tried to wipe right under my cheek.

"Ew," I said and pushed his hand away.

"I don't have cooties," he smirked and sat back down as I tried to fix my makeup with out a mirror.

"You never know," I said and smiled back at him.

Sophie stumbled in barefoot, Ray holding her shoes and Bob with a hand on her shoulder, directing her into the room.

"Keep it down Soph, you're gonna get us kicked out," he said as he shut the door behind all of them.

"Can you call the nurse and get this out of me?" I asked my uncle as I lifted my left arm.

"Marcy just spoke with the nurse, she says they'll be right in," he assured me. Gerard nodded and began to twiddle his thumbs. The room had an awkward silence and I couldn't help but to notice that everyone would glance at Gerard every now and then but didn't say anything.

"We'll need to keep these two in the back," Frank said as he kissed Jamia's hair.

"Won't we?" he whispered into her ear.

"I'm not that drunk," she slurred and hit him in the arm, Frank winced but didn't say anything.

"You're sister is though," Mikey said.

Sophie looked up at him and smiled lazily and giggled. I couldn't help but to smile.

"Oh Roxy, are you better now?" she asked suddenly trying to walk forward but stumbled. George immediately stepped forward in case she fell back.

"Yeah just about Soph," I said hoping she wouldn't pass out any time soon.

"That's good," she said and leaned back on George.

"I'm tired Gie," she yawned. Gerard looked up at her, thinking she was talking to him.

"Don't sleep on me!" he said giving her a little shake.

She only opened her eyes, blinked them a few times then closed them again.

"I think we should get going before I have to carry this one out," George said looking over at my uncle.

Right on cue a nurse walked in and carefully took the I.V out of me. I looked over at Frank and Jamia instead. Franks arms were wrapped around her waist as Jamia just watched the nurse. Frank placed his head on hers and she looked up at him and smiled. Her eyes had never seemed so bright as she starred into his eyes. Frank looked the exact same way, as if they were just radiating that feeling of love.

Can Gerard and I ever be like that and not have to hide it? Can we ever go in public like that? I wanted what Frank and Jamia had, and I want it to last. I want a romance novel romance.

The nurse put a band aid on my wrist then smiled down at me. I immediately kicked the blankets off of me and sat up.

"Not yet sweet heart," she said.

"You need to keep of that for for about two weeks," she said and went out of the room.

"Two weeks?" I asked looking over at my uncle.

"Maybe that'll teach you not to run off," he shrugged and wrapped an arm around Marcy.

The nurse came back in with crutches. I looked at them as she came in front of me, I crossed my arms and pouted. I felt like I was five and I was not happy. I didn't want to be on crutches for two whole damn weeks.

She had me carefully stand up with the help of Kirk and adjusted the crutches so they fit under me just right.

"She'll be all ready for tomorrow," the nurse said and smiled.

"So they just need her here just for observations?" Frank asked.

"Yes, that's it. It's in case her body doesn't agree with the other blood," the nurse said adjusting her thick brown rimmed glasses.

"Well kiddo," My uncle yawned as he checked his watch.

"We need to get going," he said.

"We can..we can sleep here can't we?" Sophie slurred.

"No honey, we're in a hospital," George said.

"Oh shit, let's leave then," she slurred and tried to run for the door.

"Jesus!" Bob grunted as he practically dove for her before she hit the floor when she stumbled.

"Sorry," she said innocently.

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GERARD'S P.O.V

The drive home was a silent one. A long silent one. I had hurt both girls I was in love with. At least I think I was in love with one. I shook my head as I turned off the highway. Laura had been getting her stuff out while I was at the hospital, which is part of the reason I was there.

The other part of me was deeply worried to Roxy. I felt so guilty at the fact that it was my fault too. Especially since she had lost so much blood. I gripped the steering wheel tighter and closed my eyes as I came to a light, the red glowing off my car.

When I got home it was a wreck. Laura's stuff was gone and so was half my house. She had been in a tantrum when she came, tearing pictures, knocking things off the wall. I picked up a broken lamp and began to sweep up the broken glass when I began to think.

When I was up there at the alter I saw Roxy...crying. I saw her growing up, growing old. Her eyes staying the same, lifeless. the same lifelessness that I had seen when I told her I was choosing Laura. I couldn't do that to her. I think...I think...I'm in love with Roxy.

I threw the broom at the wall and screamed at it. Why did I fall for the girl I can't have? Why is she falling for me? Why did this all have to happen?

"Damn it all!" I yelled again and fell onto my knees, the glass going through my nice pants, but I didn't care

***
ROXY'S P.O.V

I lay in my hospital bed unable to sleep because of the beeping of my heart. I wish it would stop. Not just the beeping but also my heart. I didn't want it to beat if I couldn't be with Gerard. I had tried to move on, I had denied I was falling for him for a while but there's no denying it. I'm in love with him.

And there's no denying it.

We just can't be.