Fake Boyfriend

Karaoke parties can sometimes be the best and worst times of your life. When people just sing for the hell of it, knowing they can’t carry a tune, it’s a great time. When people take it way too seriously and break your eardrum, that’s when you hope the liquor will kick in soon. Why I chose to come to my friend Danica’s karaoke party is beyond me. I don’t know how she managed to convince me to do half the stuff she did. She was currently at the mic, rocking out a version of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” and thankfully not taking it seriously. She furiously waved at me, beckoning me forward. I waved her off and made my way towards the kitchen. That’s when I noticed him. Taylor had spotted me through the crowd. He had this idea in his head that we make the perfect couple and I was not about to fulfill his fantasies.

“Pagan!” he yelled at me. I turned around, trying to find an exit. People were blocking all of them and he would surely see where I had ran off to. I didn’t want him to follow me and corner me in an isolated place. Sometimes boys can’t seem to understand you don’t want to get together with them. I looked around, trying to find something that could help me out when I noticed a boy leaning against the wall. He had one leg bent, foot up against the wall, and a drink in his hand. Next thing I knew, I was standing in front of him with a look of sheer desperation in my eyes.

“Do me the biggest favor and act like you like me. If you do I’ll be your best friend forever,” I said. He opened his mouth to say something in reaction when Taylor approached us.

“Pagan, you’re a hard girl to keep up with. Haven‘t seen you in about a week,” Taylor said.

“Yeah and what a long week it‘s been. Hey listen, I wanted to introduce you to someone. This is my boyfriend,” I said, pointing towards the guy leaning against the wall.

“Oh. Nice to meet you. My name’s Taylor,” he managed to say. The sound of the depression in his voice almost made me feel sorry for him.

“Hi my name’s Jesse,” he said, stretching out his hand to shake Taylor’s. Taylor shook it with a slight grimace on his face but managed to keep his composure.

“I just wanted to stop by and tell you goodbye. I’m taking off. I got a busy day tomorrow. It was nice to see you Pagan. Nice to meet you Jesse,” he said. Jesse waved him bye and I watched him leave. When he was out the door and his headlights swept across the windows, I turned to thank Jesse to find him missing.

“Well, okay then,” I said to myself and found an empty spot on the couch. I parked myself there, pulling out my phone to see if Taylor had sent some sappy love text. My friends stopped to talk to me about the encounter they had seen earlier. Danica had abandoned the mic and pressed me for information.

“So what happened? And who was that guy you were talking to?” she asked.

“Danica this is your party. I was hoping you could tell me who he was,” I said, taking a sip of the drink she had brought me. As the liquid hit my tongue, I blanched. She had given me beer again, no matter how many times I protested.

“I think that he’s Morgan’s cousin. She said that she was bringing him since he’s just moved here. Was his name Jesse?” she said. I nodded, trying to pawn off the cup of beer on someone else.

“Well he did me a favor so I owe him,” I said.

“Yeah, you do. I think pretending to be your boyfriend warrants a proper introduction,” said a male voice. I looked up to see Jesse. Danica got up, did a quick introduction of herself and left the seat on the couch vacant for him.

“I’m really sorry about earlier. I went into panic mode and that was the only thing I could think of,” I said. He laughed and took the beer out of my hand, taking a sip.

“I figured that’s what happened. Sorry I had to disappear though. If you didn’t get a chance to notice where exactly I was standing, it was the line for the bathroom. You don’t want this beer, do you?” he asked, holding up the red plastic cup. I made a face and he smirked, lifting the beer to his lips to take another sip.

“So a proper introduction? I can do that. My name is Pagan Gallan and I’m a friend of Danica,” I said.

“Pagan? Religious parents?” he asked.

“More like bored parents. They were pregnant with me, saw a news report about Paganism and decided that would be a good name. My older brother managed to get a more normal name,” I said.

“Well I’m Jesse Lacey and Morgan is my cousin. She said you guys were friends too,” he said.

“Yes. I’ve only known Morgan for a few months but we’ve become pretty good friends. Word on the street is that you’ve just moved here,” I said.

“Word on the street huh? Yeah, I started moving stuff in today and Morgan insisted that I get out for a while,” he said. I rolled my eyes. I had been a victim of Morgan’s tactics many a times in the few months we have known each other. One night we ended up in Vegas. She said it wasn’t her idea but as we boarded the plane back, my hangover was screaming at her that she was to blame.

“Pagan! Get over here and sing a song with us!” Danica yelled across the room. I sighed and looked at Jesse. I hated to leave someone in the middle of the conversation.

“No go ahead. I was just about to leave. The movers are coming over early with the rest of my stuff. It was nice meeting you Pagan. Any friend of Morgan is a friend of mine and you said we‘d be best friends forever,” he said, extending his hand.

“And hopefully I won’t need to use you as a imaginary boyfriend again. Taylor will hopefully put the image of us getting together out of his thick head,” I said. I shook his hand and we went our separate ways.

The next afternoon I woke up with the worst headache known to mankind. I had partaken in one too many jaegarbombs the night before and I was paying for it. It didn’t help that I slept with my windows open and my neighbor had decided that playing music as loud as the stereo could possibly go with his windows open did not help the situation. I groaned as I pulled myself out of bed, wrapping my baby blue snowflake robe around my body. I made a cup of coffee and tried to quiet the banging in my head. When the banging started to match the pounding of the bass from next door, I decided it was time to take evasive action.

I straightened myself up as best I could. I fixed my hair by smoothing back the flyaways and wiped any remaining eyeliner away from my eyes. Now that I had dark circles under my eyes and they were rimmed with red, I decided that I was presentable as I was going to be without a shower. I slipped on a pair of flip flops, grabbed my cup of coffee, and made my way over the house next door. I could hear a voice singing along with the music but my head was too cloudy to recognize the band let alone who was singing. I pounded hard on the door and there was no response. I pounded hard again and once again no response. I stepped to the side of the house near one of the open windows and did what any hungover pissed off woman would do.

“Listen asshole! Some of us use Sundays to recover from a hangover. So if you could do me the biggest favor and TURN YOUR FUCKING MUSIC DOWN!” I screamed. The music suddenly stopped and I freaked. I scurried back to my house, losing my coffee cup in the process. When I got back to my house, I flopped down on the couch, realizing my close call. Whoever lived there would hopefully be confused as which neighbor had yelled at him. My reasoning was cracked open when the doorbell rang. I took a deep breath, fixed my hair once again, and answered the door.

“Jesse?” I asked in surprise. He stood before me, holding an empty and slightly chipped coffee mug.

“Howdy neighbor. You dropped this in your mad dash,” he said, holding out the mug. I took the mug from him and ran my fingers over the chipped rim.

“Thanks. I’m sorry about all that. Hangovers don’t exactly make you think clearly,” I said.

“I understand. I’ll keep the music down from now on. Next time don’t leave a trail of coffee behind you and I won’t know who it was,” he said, descending the step.

“You found out who it was from a trail of coffee?” I asked, following him out on the sidewalk.

“Not exactly. I could see you from where I was in the house. See you later, best friend,” he said. He disappeared into his house and I stood on the sidewalk speechless.

“You know, you were just there last night to look pretty. I was kidding about the whole best friend thing!” I screamed at his house. His head popped out the window, a broad smile on his face.

“To late now Pagan. You’re stuck with me. Get used to it,” he said and shut his window. I huffed and went back into my house. There was a blinking light on my answering machine and I hit the play button.

“Girl you better get up! We’re coming over in about an hour. It’s noon right now so be ready at 1. Love you chicka!” Danica said. I glanced at the clock and noticed I still had about 20 minutes to get ready.

I drug myself into the shower and cleaned off any remaining remnants of last night. I walked into my room dressed in only a towel and started getting dressed when I noticed something. Because of the ways our houses were built, Jesse’s bedroom window was only a few feet away from mine. The previous family that lived there didn’t have any use for the room and used it as storage. They were barely in there so I had no reason to be worried about them catching a free show. When I saw the door to his room open slightly, I slammed the blinds down. I dressed, went downstairs, and heard a car pulling up in the driveway. I went outside to greet Danica and Morgan and was shocked when I noticed Jesse was helping them out. He didn’t see me right away, but when he did he raised his hand and waved at me.

I could tell this boy was going to be the bane of my existence.