Fake Boyfriend

- Jesse -

Never go grocery shopping with a woman. We men go in, get what we need, and leave. Women of course get distracted and you end up spending a hour longer at the grocery store then you expected. After listening to Pagan complain about my food choices, I excused myself to the next aisle over as she browsed through the chips. I pretended to make myself busy with taco seasoning when I had a familiar voice from the other end of the aisle.

“Jesse?” Karina said. I caught a glimpse of her from the corner of my eye and bailed. I did not expect to run into her at the grocery store of all places, let alone in a different town. I hurried up to Pagan who has holding two bags of chips.

“Do me the biggest favor and act like you like me. If you do I’ll be your best friend forever,” I said and slid my arm around her waist.

“Huh?” she said, completely oblivious to me repeating the same words she had said the night we first met.

“Jesse! I knew it was you,” Karina’s voice said from beside me.

“Oh hey! I thought I heard someone say my name. I thought it was Pagan. Karina this is my girlfriend Pagan,” I said. Pagan plastered a fake smile on her face as she faced Karina but I knew she was irritated with me.

“Nice to meet you Karina. Jesse and I are just doing some shopping,” Pagan said sweetly and she hit me with the bag of chips in the chest.

“Oh yeah, I think I like these better,” I said, barely glancing at the chips before throwing them in the cart.

“We should catch up sometime Jesse. Nice to meet you Pagan,” Karina said in the same dejected tone Taylor had. She walked away and I turned to Pagan. She looked like she was about to beat me with the can of salsa that had magically appeared in her hand.

“What? I gave you warning. You did the same to me and I didn’t want to kill you. I just wanted to pee,” I said. She set the salsa down slowly in the cart.

“You’ll live for now Lacey, but who knows about tomorrow,” she said.

“I’ll sleep with a knife under my pillow,” I said, pushing the cart further down the aisle following her.

“Sounds like you fear me,” she said. Even from behind her I could tell she was happy with herself. Her step had a little more hop in it. Her gestures were more childlike and animated.

“It’s not fear, it’s precaution.” She stopped dead in front of me causing me to run into her with the cart. Slowly she spun around on the ball of her foot with a smile that caused my fight or flight response to act up.

“Dean Winchester,” she stated.

“Legendary badass,” I said. She smiled and continued walking down the aisle.

“Never pegged you for a Supernatural fan.” She tossed a bag of something into the cart but my attention was suddenly drawn the end of the aisle. There with some buxom bottle blonde was Joseph. I could tell by the way they were standing, their body language, that they were not related.

“I think I saw some cheap pretzels a couple of aisles over,” I said, nudging her along with the cart. Luckily she didn’t turn around but I did. I saw the blonde plant a grossly offensive in public kiss on Joseph’s lips.

As the night wore on and the movie played, I kept quiet. I couldn’t risk talking or the girls would think something was up. Too bad my cousin knew me better then I thought she did. She stared at me as we sat around Pagan’s kitchen table. I kept raising my eyebrow at her hoping maybe she thought I was scheming something, throw her off my trail. I should’ve known that would not work.

“You’ve been usually quiet this evening Mr. Lacey,” Danica said. She beat Morgan to the punch. She must’ve seen her staring at me.

“Yeah I agree. It’s kind of creeping me out,” Pagan said, organizing her MnM’s into a color coded square.

“It’s nothing. Just have something on my mind,” I said. I stole one of Pagan’s red MnM’s, ruining her perfect square. I would’ve found it amusing to watch her scramble for another red one but the scene from earlier replayed itself again in my head.

“Is it a girl?” Morgan asked.

“No. Well yes, you could say that. But no romance. Well, there is romance, but just not with me,” I said. The three girls looked at me with a unison confused look.

“What?” Danica asked. I knew it was time to man up and tell the truth.

“Ladies, could I have a moment to talk to Pagan?” I said. Morgan raised her eyebrow and kissed the top of my head before dragging Danica away. It was times like this that I wished her kitchen had a door.

“What’s up? Is the about Karina? Look I can spot a crazy ex girlfriend from a mile away. No worries,” she said.

“What about a cheating boyfriend?” The smile left her face.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw Joseph when we were at the store, after Karina left. He was kissing another girl,” I said. She exploded. I had to hold the table down to keep her from flipping it over.

“I don’t believe you!” she screamed.

“Pagan why would I lie to you?” I pleaded to her, taking a few steps away from her.

“To get at me. To annoy me, irritate me. To get your fucking kicks from watching me feel weak and stupid!” She started to charge at me.

“Pagan I would never do something like this! I give you my word I’m trying to protect you. Trying to make sure you don’t get hurt is now suddenly a crime. I know my previous history--”

“Your previous history is taking shots at me whenever they present themselves. So excuse me for doubting your word. Just get out,” she said. She was inches from my face, on her toes trying to match my height.

“Pagan come on, just hear me out.” She shoved me hard.

“Get out!”

So I left and slouched back to my house. Passing by Morgan and Danica was hard. Their shocked expressions prevented me from forming words to explain this situation. Morgan pleaded for me to talk to her as I stepped out the door but I ignored her. When I was back in my house my frustrations came out. I grabbed the baseball bat sitting in the umbrella rack and beat the couch. Luckily the only thing that managed to break was a lamp and my pride.