Fake Boyfriend

- Pagan -

Leave it to Morgan to make me feel awkward. She and Craig had gotten engaged a week after the whole Joseph episode and now I was stuck at some fancy party for their engagement by myself at a hotel banquet room. She was dancing with Craig and Danica was dancing with Braxton. I sat alone at the table stirring my drink slowly. Jesse was making the rounds with his family leaving me to fend for myself.

“You look bored,” a voice said from beside me. I turned, snapped out of my alternative reality, to see an older woman.

“Just a little,” I said.

“Being single at one of these things can be killer. I’ve been to one too many of these when I wasn’t married myself. Luckily now I’ve got a ring on my finger and a man who I’ve whipped into shape. What’s your story?” she said. She didn’t seem drunk and judging by the rock on her finger, she had plenty of money to entertain herself. Who was I to deny her my life story?

“I just got out of a really bad relationship,” I said.

“Oh been there done that. You have to learn to land on your feet. You’ll get the hang of it eventually. Do you want to do me a favor and indulge me a little?” she asked.

“Um, I guess it depends on the favor,” I replied. I had no idea why this lady had taken sudden interest in me.

“Go out on the dance floor and let me find a guy for you to dance with,” she said.

“You serious? I’m not doing that,” I said.

“What have you got to lose? If all else fails, at least you won’t be sitting here by yourself for five minutes. After that you can go back to your brooding,” she said.

“Valid point. Just make sure he’s cute or I’ll find out your name,” I said. She clapped her hands and I walked out on the dance floor. I started dancing with Danica and Braxton just to pass the time as I was anxious to see who exactly she brought out on the dance floor.

- Jesse -

I stood around with the men of the family, talking sports and being manly. It was a custom at any kind of family gathering that men and women would separate and talk about each other. In the middle of my cousin Clark complaining about his wife’s shopping habits I felt a presence behind me.

“Hi Aunt Beth,” I said without turning around.

“Jesse Thomas, so nice to see you. Now put down your beer and come with me,” she said. I shrugged to the guys and let her drag me away.

“Aunt Beth, care to explain what exactly you need?” I said as she led me across the room by the tie.

“I just want you to dance with someone. Think you can do that?” she asked.

“I’ve always wondered where Morgan gets her ambition but I think I’ve figured out where it comes from,” I said. She stopped on the dance floor a few feet away from Danica and Pagan.

“Just have a little fun and dance with the pretty girl will you. Now young lady, may I present you my nephew,” she said. She pushed Pagan and me together rather fast and our bodies collided.

“Aunt Beth--”

“Now have fun you two,” she said.

“Aunt Beth--”

“Be careful. She’s had her heart broken. Pick up the pieces,” she whispered in my ear. She patted my back and walked away, leaving me and Pagan pressed together.

“So who was that and how did she manage to talk me into this?” she asked. I took a step back from her to make some distance.

“That would be Morgan’s mother, my Aunt Beth.”

“That explains a lot. Well, we better humor her. Shall we?” she asked. She held out her hand and I took it. A new song started and I remembered it as “Hurricane” by The Hush Sound. It was one of Morgan’s favorite songs.

Quote

And since the roof fell in, I'll lean on what matters
Caught in the slightest wind, everything else unravels
You're standing in my doorway seven cities ago
The days are racing, but you come back too slow

As the song ended Pagan let out a long sigh. She leaned her head against my shoulder but her posture was not relaxed.

“You want to get out of here for a little bit?” I asked her.

“You snag the closest bottle of champagne and I’ll meet you by the side door,” she said. She walked slowly to the side door and slipped out quietly. I walked over to the bar and grabbed a full bottle of champagne and two glasses before making my way outside. When I got outside Pagan was trying to remove her shoes. She had on these ridiculous pair of red high heels.

“You know, I don’t understand why exactly women wear those things,” I said uncorking the bottle.

“It makes our butt look nice. Men like to watch us walk when we wear these,” she said.

“Oh come on. That’s a lie,” I said.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. I think it’s a lie. We are mainly concerned for your safety,” I said.

“Oh come on. You know you like watching girls walk in heels.”

“Safety first.”

“Oh you can watch me walk if you want to, want to,” she said in a singsong voice. She started strutting around but almost fell on her ass.

“All right calm down. Just sit down and take off those heinous things,” I said. I took off my suit jacket and set it down on the step for her. She sat down and kicked off her heels. I grabbed one of the glasses to pour her a drink when she ripped the bottle from my hand and took a swig.

“Glasses? We don’t need no stinking glasses!” she said.

“Just trying to be classy. But since I don’t see any of my family around here, screw it,” I said and tossed back a large gulp.

“There you go Lacey. But save some for me. I need it more then you.”

“I’m here with my family. I need this more then you,” I said. We passed the bottle back and forth for a few minutes, going deeper into our pity party when I heard some footsteps coming.

“Crap we’re busted,” Pagan said. When the person came into the light, we were both surprised.

“Ah neighbor guy. This doesn’t surprise me,” Joseph said.

“Joseph what are you doing here?” she demanded.

“Look baby, I thought you understood that we were in a casual relationship. Now, I’m fully prepared to let you come back if you understand that,” he said.

“You’re such a douche,” I muttered.

“What neighbor guy?”

“His name is Jesse and he’s right. You are a douche,” Pagan said, standing up to face him. The champagne made her a little wobbly on her feet but her message was clear.

“Pagan come on. Let’s try again,” he said. I had enough with him. I stood up, passing the bottle to Pagan and getting in between the two.

“I think it’s time you leave.”

“See Pagan’s awake this time so you can’t use that whole excuse that she’s sleeping. Just get out of the way,” he said.

“No.” I expected more back talk from him but instead I got a fist to the face.

“Jesse!” Pagan yelled as I went down on one knee, grasping my face.

“Who’s the douche now?” Joseph said, gearing up his body for another go round. I could barely see out of one eye but I was ready to take him.

“Hey, don’t make me call the cops!” a man screamed from the steps.

“Whatever guy, no problems here. I was just leaving,” Joseph said and walked away.

With Pagan’s help, the mystery man (who I learned was Danica’s father) helped me to the kitchen. Pagan stayed with me, wiping away the blood as gently as she could and applying the ice pack to my eye.

“I hope this doesn’t make me seem any less manly,” I said. She was a bit blurry and I had to squint the one good eye to see her better.

“No it doesn’t. If anything, you gained points on the manly scale. That’s twice you’ve defended me against him,” she said.

“Nope, just once.”

“I heard what he said and I saw him come over the day after the date. You stood up for me which is more then I can say for any other guy friend I know,” she said. She sat across from me and held my hand. The quiet passed and I laced my fingers through hers. I couldn’t tell through the blur that was my eyesight what her face was telling me. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or if she was smiling. I couldn’t--

“There you two are! Holy hell, Jesse what happened?” Morgan said, interrupting my thoughts.

“Just a rumble in the parking lot. I was the Sharks, Joseph was the Jets,” I said. Pagan snorted out a laugh. Morgan got about half an inch from my face and made me pull away the ice pack. With her so close I could see her face, especially as it drifted down to my lap where Pagan and my hands were still attached.

“Right, I’ll just leave you two alone.” Pagan abruptly released my hand. I heard her get up and saw her figure walk over to Morgan.

“Actually if you could get someone to drive us home. I rode here with Danica and Braxton,” she said.

“Yeah I’ll go get Dan. He said he would drive you guys home,” Morgan said and I heard the doors swing open and shut.

“Who’s Dan?” I asked.

“Dan is Danica’s dad. Guess who she was named after. Come on, we’ll go meet him by the door. And for your other eye’s benefit, I am thinking of taking Braxton up on his offer for his friend of a friend to take Joseph out. It is free and all,” she said and helped me up.

“Tell him I’ll help hide the body. I‘ve got a good shovel,” I said. If anyone commented on my appearance as we walked by, I didn’t know. I could barely see them. I could hear them but my head was starting to hurt. Figures a skinny guy would pack the hardest punch.