Heroes...And The Rest Of Us.
Chapter one
I really love tattoos. I have four, today I'm getting my fith and sixth. They all mean something to me, being as they are all for my family memebers. I have my sisters lip print on my wrist, my brother's army dog tags around my left ankle, Mike's birthday in Roman Numerals on my left shoulder blade, and the words 'Well hell just ain't the same without you babe' from hip to hip across my lower stomach. The top half of that one peeks out of my jeans. Only three men have ever seen the other half of it, but, we'll get to that later.
Today, I'm at the tattoo parlour with Mike, no he has never seen the other half of my tattoo. He is my brother, or he might as well be, we're not related in any way. I'm getting my father and his longtime girlfriend's initials on the inside of my right middle finger, so that when I flip someone off, they're right there with me.
"It's gonna hurt so fucking bad." Mike tells me after the stencil is placed on either side of my finger.
"I know, but, it's gonna look awesome!" I reply.
"Ready, hon?" My tattoo artist asks me.
"Yes, totally."
"Ok, here we go." He says.
The needle pricks my skin and he starts. Mike was right, it fucking hurts. I squeeze Mike's hand with my free one.
"Jesus, what was I thinking?" I say.
"Too late to turn back now, Sophie."
"Yeah, I know."
What seems like three hours later, the artist says he's done, and tells me to look in the mirror, which I do.
"It's amazing!"
"Do you love it?"
"Yes! I love it! Thank you so much."
I pay for the tattoo and Mike and I walk out to my truck, that I have probably put too much money into. It's a red GMC, 2005 pick-up, that I put a lift kit in and added 35' tires. It rocks pretty hard if I do say so myself.
"Where to?" I ask, as I pull myself up into the truck.
"Home." Mike answers.
I nod. Mike and I currently live together in a small house on the edge of town. I guess I should fill you in a little about my past so you can understand my present a little better.
I am the product of a one night stand. Nice, huh? My Dad was a wannabe rockstar in a local band and my Mother was a good catholic girl with her whole life ahead of her. They got together for about a month after I was born, but, she couldn't handle the fact that my father wasn't going to leave his other two kids and ex-wife, for her...So she left me. My dad raised me by himself until I was two, when he met Billie, who moved right into the mother role for me, and I will forever be grateful to her for that.
Mike was the product of love. His parents were meant to be together forever, but life got in the way. Mike's mother, Laura, died in a car accident when Mike was 14. Mike's father, filled with grief, turned to the bottle, and never came back. He soon started to get drunk and hit Mike. They would get into horrid fights, Marty would hit Mike and then Mike would run away. He would come to my dad's house and sneak into my bedroom window and stay until morning, when my dad or Billie would come in and send us to school. He always had to go home and the cycle would start again. He moved into our house when he was sixteen, and my parents finished Marty's job.Several times after he moved in, Marty would come over and he and Mike would fight bad, and the cops would be called and my dad would have to go pick Mike up from jail.
When I was sixteen, my mother showed up, out of nowhere, wanting a relationship with me. She had changed a lot, my dad said. She was now the Queen of Suburbia, Mayor of Stepford. Oh yeah. She had a new daughter, Ashley and a new husband. A brand new life, without me. To say we didn't get along was the understatement of the year. I stumbled onto her yard drunk one night and passed out, She sent me to rehab the next day, claiming I was 'Out of control'. Seven years later, were on better terms, we'll never be 100%, but, were OK where were at.
On to the men in my life. My first boyfriend was when I was oh, about years fifteen to seventeen. Jason, amazing until I found out he was selling drugs out of my house, to my BROTHERS! well, Mike and my brother, Braydon, but, seriously! Yeah, not so amazing after that. When I was twenty-one, I found John, and thought I had found the love of my life. We were crazy about each other, kinda literally, actually. We couldn't go ten minutes without talking to or seeing each other. I got tired after about a year and a half and I cheated. Yeah, I know, I'm a whore, whatever, shit happens. So yeah, When John found out a while later, he flipped, understandably. He left, turns out he went to a bar, got drunk, and ended up with some bar skank. I went to a different bar, got drunk and called the guy I had been sleeping with, Adam. Yeah, John and I were way too similar. I contiued my relationship with Adam, and by relationship, I mean, we slept together when I was lonely and he was around. A pretty bad way of going about things, but again, shit happens.
Now, present, finally huh?
I'm single, living with Mike, keeping him out of trouble and just having a good time with life.
We arrive home and hang out for a while.
"When do you have to go to work?" Mike asks me.
"6:30."
"Mmm"
"We have come so far, you and I." I say, not really sure why.
"No shit." He snorts "What brought that up?"
"I don't know, I was just thinking about shit, the past." I shrug.
"I try not to think about that, It wasn't fun for me."
"I'm sorry, Just promise never to go back to that place, the drugs and shit, I couldn't live without you."
"I promise. I couldn't live without you either."
"Well, now that we have that cleared up, are you hungry?" I ask.
"Not really."
This is basically how we talk on a day to day basis. Say something really deep and then on to lunch or something else stupid...you get the point.
I start playing with the patch they put on my tattoo, when my cell rings in the other room. I get up and walk over to my purse to answer. It's my friend, Daisy.
"Hey lady, where are you?" She starts.
"I'm home, I went and got my tattoo's today."
"Awesome."
"Yup."
"Well, I have man plans tonight, so I won't be able to come see you at work."
"Thats fine, plans with Dave, I assume?"
"Yeah, were gonna have dinner and...other stuff."
"Eww, Daisy, I don't need to know this!"
She laughs. "Well, I want to see your tattoos, I think you need to get your butt over here and show me before you go to work."
My turn to laugh. "Alright, I'll be right over."
I hang up and walk over to Mike, who's hanging out in the living room, texting. I put my arms around him and say, "I'm going over to Daisy's."
"OK."
"What are your plans for the evening?"
"I don't know, that's what I'm trying to figure out." He says, showing me his phone.
I hear a knock on the door and I go to answer. It's Mark, the guitar player in Mike's band.
"Hey," He says "is Mike here?"
"Yeah, come on in. I'm on my way out."
We walk into the living room, where Mark sits in the chair.
"Cops is like, the best show ever." Mike says.
"This dosen't look like Cops." Mark replies.
"Yeah, well, this is a commercial."
"Are you going to be here when I get back from Daisy's?" I ask him.
"How long are you going to be gone for?"
"Not too long, I have to work at six."
"I doubt that I will be home then."
"Alright, I'll see you guys later, then."
I walk out the door, purse in hand, and get in my truck. Daisy's apartment is about five minutes from my place. I pull in and park next to her car. I walk into the building past the woman in the lobby to the stairs. When I arrive at her door, I don't bother knocking, that's a right you receive when you've known someone since they were sixteen. I barge right in, but, the chain is hooked and I about rip the door off it's hinges. Daisy screams inside.
"Oh my God! You scared me!"
"Why is the door locked? You knew I was coming!"
"Sorry!"
Daisy has been my best "girl" friend since high school. She's about 5'2 on a good day, dyed blonde, has way more tattoo's than I do and is pretty much a trainwreck, but she's my trainwreck. I love her, and she would do pretty much anything for me.
"Let me see, let me see!!" She screams.
I flip her off and she grabs my finger.
"I love it!"
"Well, thank you."
"Wanna see what I bought?"
"Sure, why not."
She walks over to her purse, which is sitting on the counter next to mine, and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. She takes one out of the pack and holds it out for me to see.
"It's pink." I say, simply.
"Aren't they awesome? C'mon, lets go outside and try one, I'm not allowed to smoke inside anymore."
"OK, fine, do you have a lighter?"
"Yeah, c'mon!" She says, linking arms with me. We walk downstairs, talking a mile a minute like we always have. We were the girls in school that hemmed our uniforms shorter than they were supposed to be, swore in class. Oh yeah, we were those girls.
We laugh when she trips and almost falls down the stairs, dragging me with her.
"You fucking clutz!" I yell, so that practically the whole building can hear me.
She laughs loudly as we walk out the doors of the apartment building and light up. I inhale deeply, breathing in the menthol smoke.
"Those menthols hit me like a bag of rocks." I say as I sit indian style, leaned up against the side of the building.
"Yeah, I love them." She says, sitting on the ground, next to me, laying her head on my shoulder. We sit and smoke in silence for awhile when a familer yellow Camaro pulls up in front of us. John.
"Oh shit." I say.
"Oh shit is right, what the hell?"
He gets out and walks over to us and crouches down to our face level.
"Hey Daisy, how've you been?" He asks. He looks so hot, I haven't seen him in like, four months.
"I'm good, John, how are you?"
"Good." Short pause. "Good." He says and looks at me.
"I need to talk to you."
"Talk to me." I say.
"I was thinking maybe privately, in my car, maybe."
I sigh and look at Daisy and we both start to get up. We stab our pink cigarettes into the public ashtray. She holds her arms out to me for a hug, She is about four inches shorter than me, so I have to crouch down a little to hug her.
"Take care of you," She says into my ear "call me"
"I will." Forgetting that my purse with my keys and cell phone in it, is upstairs.
I follow John and get in the car, watching Daisy troop into the building.
"How have you been? He asks.
"Fine, living with Mike...but you probably knew that already. You?"
"I'm alright."
We pull out of town and drive is silence for a couple of miles, then he turns on to some dirt road that I had never noticed before.
"Where are we?" I ask.
"This is an access road to the lake."
"Oh." He pulls over on the side of the road and shuts the car off.
"I've really missed you, Sophie."
I don't really know what to say to this, so I just sit there like a bump on a log. Why is he doing this to me? Four months ago he wanted nothing to do with me. He starts talking again.
"I uh, I don't really know how to say this to you, But, we were so amazing, you and I just well...want to try again, see if we can fix this mess we made."
I start having weird brain flashes, of John leaving, my crying, drinking, Adam coming and picking me up from that horrible place I was. No, this isn't happening.
"Sophie?"
I snap back to reality and see him staring at me, waiting for an answer.
"John, you don't want this again, do you?"
He kind of laughs a little "Yes I want this."
I can't believe this is happening again. I have to break his heart again.
"I...John, I can't. God, I hate this. I don't want to take your heart and break it again. I know it would happen eventually, and I just can't do it again. I'm sorry."
He looks like someone just punched him in the gut. Totally dumbfounded.
"John?"
"Get the fuck out." He says, staring bullets through the windsheild.
"What?"
"You heard me, Get the fuck out of my fucking car!" He screams.
I jump a little at the sound and get out of the car.
"Shut the door." He spits at me. I do and before I even realize it, he starts the car and drives away fast, spinning gravel up at me.
"John! You can't just leave me like this!" I yell at the car, even though I know he can't hear me. I'm crying now, not really sure what to do. I have no purse, no cell phone, I'm really regretting that lapse in judgement.
I start to walk in the direction we came from. The clouds and rain the weatherman predicted are rolling in now, great. I'm at least ten miles from Daisy's house. The clouds open up when I get to the paved main road, and I'm instantly drenched. This is so not my day. What are the chances someone I know will drive by and see me? Not good.
Today, I'm at the tattoo parlour with Mike, no he has never seen the other half of my tattoo. He is my brother, or he might as well be, we're not related in any way. I'm getting my father and his longtime girlfriend's initials on the inside of my right middle finger, so that when I flip someone off, they're right there with me.
"It's gonna hurt so fucking bad." Mike tells me after the stencil is placed on either side of my finger.
"I know, but, it's gonna look awesome!" I reply.
"Ready, hon?" My tattoo artist asks me.
"Yes, totally."
"Ok, here we go." He says.
The needle pricks my skin and he starts. Mike was right, it fucking hurts. I squeeze Mike's hand with my free one.
"Jesus, what was I thinking?" I say.
"Too late to turn back now, Sophie."
"Yeah, I know."
What seems like three hours later, the artist says he's done, and tells me to look in the mirror, which I do.
"It's amazing!"
"Do you love it?"
"Yes! I love it! Thank you so much."
I pay for the tattoo and Mike and I walk out to my truck, that I have probably put too much money into. It's a red GMC, 2005 pick-up, that I put a lift kit in and added 35' tires. It rocks pretty hard if I do say so myself.
"Where to?" I ask, as I pull myself up into the truck.
"Home." Mike answers.
I nod. Mike and I currently live together in a small house on the edge of town. I guess I should fill you in a little about my past so you can understand my present a little better.
I am the product of a one night stand. Nice, huh? My Dad was a wannabe rockstar in a local band and my Mother was a good catholic girl with her whole life ahead of her. They got together for about a month after I was born, but, she couldn't handle the fact that my father wasn't going to leave his other two kids and ex-wife, for her...So she left me. My dad raised me by himself until I was two, when he met Billie, who moved right into the mother role for me, and I will forever be grateful to her for that.
Mike was the product of love. His parents were meant to be together forever, but life got in the way. Mike's mother, Laura, died in a car accident when Mike was 14. Mike's father, filled with grief, turned to the bottle, and never came back. He soon started to get drunk and hit Mike. They would get into horrid fights, Marty would hit Mike and then Mike would run away. He would come to my dad's house and sneak into my bedroom window and stay until morning, when my dad or Billie would come in and send us to school. He always had to go home and the cycle would start again. He moved into our house when he was sixteen, and my parents finished Marty's job.Several times after he moved in, Marty would come over and he and Mike would fight bad, and the cops would be called and my dad would have to go pick Mike up from jail.
When I was sixteen, my mother showed up, out of nowhere, wanting a relationship with me. She had changed a lot, my dad said. She was now the Queen of Suburbia, Mayor of Stepford. Oh yeah. She had a new daughter, Ashley and a new husband. A brand new life, without me. To say we didn't get along was the understatement of the year. I stumbled onto her yard drunk one night and passed out, She sent me to rehab the next day, claiming I was 'Out of control'. Seven years later, were on better terms, we'll never be 100%, but, were OK where were at.
On to the men in my life. My first boyfriend was when I was oh, about years fifteen to seventeen. Jason, amazing until I found out he was selling drugs out of my house, to my BROTHERS! well, Mike and my brother, Braydon, but, seriously! Yeah, not so amazing after that. When I was twenty-one, I found John, and thought I had found the love of my life. We were crazy about each other, kinda literally, actually. We couldn't go ten minutes without talking to or seeing each other. I got tired after about a year and a half and I cheated. Yeah, I know, I'm a whore, whatever, shit happens. So yeah, When John found out a while later, he flipped, understandably. He left, turns out he went to a bar, got drunk, and ended up with some bar skank. I went to a different bar, got drunk and called the guy I had been sleeping with, Adam. Yeah, John and I were way too similar. I contiued my relationship with Adam, and by relationship, I mean, we slept together when I was lonely and he was around. A pretty bad way of going about things, but again, shit happens.
Now, present, finally huh?
I'm single, living with Mike, keeping him out of trouble and just having a good time with life.
We arrive home and hang out for a while.
"When do you have to go to work?" Mike asks me.
"6:30."
"Mmm"
"We have come so far, you and I." I say, not really sure why.
"No shit." He snorts "What brought that up?"
"I don't know, I was just thinking about shit, the past." I shrug.
"I try not to think about that, It wasn't fun for me."
"I'm sorry, Just promise never to go back to that place, the drugs and shit, I couldn't live without you."
"I promise. I couldn't live without you either."
"Well, now that we have that cleared up, are you hungry?" I ask.
"Not really."
This is basically how we talk on a day to day basis. Say something really deep and then on to lunch or something else stupid...you get the point.
I start playing with the patch they put on my tattoo, when my cell rings in the other room. I get up and walk over to my purse to answer. It's my friend, Daisy.
"Hey lady, where are you?" She starts.
"I'm home, I went and got my tattoo's today."
"Awesome."
"Yup."
"Well, I have man plans tonight, so I won't be able to come see you at work."
"Thats fine, plans with Dave, I assume?"
"Yeah, were gonna have dinner and...other stuff."
"Eww, Daisy, I don't need to know this!"
She laughs. "Well, I want to see your tattoos, I think you need to get your butt over here and show me before you go to work."
My turn to laugh. "Alright, I'll be right over."
I hang up and walk over to Mike, who's hanging out in the living room, texting. I put my arms around him and say, "I'm going over to Daisy's."
"OK."
"What are your plans for the evening?"
"I don't know, that's what I'm trying to figure out." He says, showing me his phone.
I hear a knock on the door and I go to answer. It's Mark, the guitar player in Mike's band.
"Hey," He says "is Mike here?"
"Yeah, come on in. I'm on my way out."
We walk into the living room, where Mark sits in the chair.
"Cops is like, the best show ever." Mike says.
"This dosen't look like Cops." Mark replies.
"Yeah, well, this is a commercial."
"Are you going to be here when I get back from Daisy's?" I ask him.
"How long are you going to be gone for?"
"Not too long, I have to work at six."
"I doubt that I will be home then."
"Alright, I'll see you guys later, then."
I walk out the door, purse in hand, and get in my truck. Daisy's apartment is about five minutes from my place. I pull in and park next to her car. I walk into the building past the woman in the lobby to the stairs. When I arrive at her door, I don't bother knocking, that's a right you receive when you've known someone since they were sixteen. I barge right in, but, the chain is hooked and I about rip the door off it's hinges. Daisy screams inside.
"Oh my God! You scared me!"
"Why is the door locked? You knew I was coming!"
"Sorry!"
Daisy has been my best "girl" friend since high school. She's about 5'2 on a good day, dyed blonde, has way more tattoo's than I do and is pretty much a trainwreck, but she's my trainwreck. I love her, and she would do pretty much anything for me.
"Let me see, let me see!!" She screams.
I flip her off and she grabs my finger.
"I love it!"
"Well, thank you."
"Wanna see what I bought?"
"Sure, why not."
She walks over to her purse, which is sitting on the counter next to mine, and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. She takes one out of the pack and holds it out for me to see.
"It's pink." I say, simply.
"Aren't they awesome? C'mon, lets go outside and try one, I'm not allowed to smoke inside anymore."
"OK, fine, do you have a lighter?"
"Yeah, c'mon!" She says, linking arms with me. We walk downstairs, talking a mile a minute like we always have. We were the girls in school that hemmed our uniforms shorter than they were supposed to be, swore in class. Oh yeah, we were those girls.
We laugh when she trips and almost falls down the stairs, dragging me with her.
"You fucking clutz!" I yell, so that practically the whole building can hear me.
She laughs loudly as we walk out the doors of the apartment building and light up. I inhale deeply, breathing in the menthol smoke.
"Those menthols hit me like a bag of rocks." I say as I sit indian style, leaned up against the side of the building.
"Yeah, I love them." She says, sitting on the ground, next to me, laying her head on my shoulder. We sit and smoke in silence for awhile when a familer yellow Camaro pulls up in front of us. John.
"Oh shit." I say.
"Oh shit is right, what the hell?"
He gets out and walks over to us and crouches down to our face level.
"Hey Daisy, how've you been?" He asks. He looks so hot, I haven't seen him in like, four months.
"I'm good, John, how are you?"
"Good." Short pause. "Good." He says and looks at me.
"I need to talk to you."
"Talk to me." I say.
"I was thinking maybe privately, in my car, maybe."
I sigh and look at Daisy and we both start to get up. We stab our pink cigarettes into the public ashtray. She holds her arms out to me for a hug, She is about four inches shorter than me, so I have to crouch down a little to hug her.
"Take care of you," She says into my ear "call me"
"I will." Forgetting that my purse with my keys and cell phone in it, is upstairs.
I follow John and get in the car, watching Daisy troop into the building.
"How have you been? He asks.
"Fine, living with Mike...but you probably knew that already. You?"
"I'm alright."
We pull out of town and drive is silence for a couple of miles, then he turns on to some dirt road that I had never noticed before.
"Where are we?" I ask.
"This is an access road to the lake."
"Oh." He pulls over on the side of the road and shuts the car off.
"I've really missed you, Sophie."
I don't really know what to say to this, so I just sit there like a bump on a log. Why is he doing this to me? Four months ago he wanted nothing to do with me. He starts talking again.
"I uh, I don't really know how to say this to you, But, we were so amazing, you and I just well...want to try again, see if we can fix this mess we made."
I start having weird brain flashes, of John leaving, my crying, drinking, Adam coming and picking me up from that horrible place I was. No, this isn't happening.
"Sophie?"
I snap back to reality and see him staring at me, waiting for an answer.
"John, you don't want this again, do you?"
He kind of laughs a little "Yes I want this."
I can't believe this is happening again. I have to break his heart again.
"I...John, I can't. God, I hate this. I don't want to take your heart and break it again. I know it would happen eventually, and I just can't do it again. I'm sorry."
He looks like someone just punched him in the gut. Totally dumbfounded.
"John?"
"Get the fuck out." He says, staring bullets through the windsheild.
"What?"
"You heard me, Get the fuck out of my fucking car!" He screams.
I jump a little at the sound and get out of the car.
"Shut the door." He spits at me. I do and before I even realize it, he starts the car and drives away fast, spinning gravel up at me.
"John! You can't just leave me like this!" I yell at the car, even though I know he can't hear me. I'm crying now, not really sure what to do. I have no purse, no cell phone, I'm really regretting that lapse in judgement.
I start to walk in the direction we came from. The clouds and rain the weatherman predicted are rolling in now, great. I'm at least ten miles from Daisy's house. The clouds open up when I get to the paved main road, and I'm instantly drenched. This is so not my day. What are the chances someone I know will drive by and see me? Not good.
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