Heroes...And The Rest Of Us.

It's been a month since I told Adam that I'm pregnant. We went to the Doctor and he confirmed that I was three weeks pregnant, making me almost two months along now. We chose not to tell anyone about the baby, at least until I start showing, mostly because we aren't sure what the fuck were going to do yet. The only people that know are Mike, Austin and Mark, and they're sworn to secrecy.

It's two days before Thanksgiving, Adam left today to go to his sisters for the holiday, I'm planning on going to Joe and Billie's for dinner. I'm laying on my couch, in my house alone, reading a book about being pregnant and not knowing what to do. Kinda depressing actually. I get a text from Adam's roommate/bandmate, Barry.

'Wanna come out and play?' it says

'Yes, I'm so bored!'

'Neil and his wife r coming over to play cards, you're more than welcome to come'

'I'm on my way. Anything I can bring?'

'Yourself'

Awesome, plans for the night. I get up off the couch and check my appearance in the full length mirror in my bedroom. Not bad, I grab my purse, lock Charlie in the bathroom and head out. When I get there, Barry's car is alone in the driveway. I walk in the front door and call out for Barry.

"Hey, what's up?" He says, coming out from the kitchen.

"Nothing. Where are Neil and his wife... I can't remember her name."

"Janin, their running late, some baby sitter issue or some bullshit" He hands me a bowl of chips.

"Gotcha"

"Want a beer?"

"No, thanks. Ive gotta drive"

"You don't have to get wasted" He says with a smirk.

"Thanks anyway" Lying to your friends sucks ass.

He drops the subject quickly, thank God. I eat a couple of chips and my body decides it needs to pee, Ive never peed so much in my life. I set the chips on the counter and go to the bathroom. When I stand up from peeing, I get a cramp in my gut that feels like Ive just been punched.

"Oh my God" I say, bracing myself on the bathroom counter. I manage to zip my pants and flush the toilet, when it happens again. This time worse, it brings me to my knees. I scream for Barry, fearing the worse for my baby. I hear him come to the closed door.

"Sophie?"

"Barry, come in here. I need help!" I scream. I'm curled up in an almost fetal position on the floor when he comes in.

"Oh my God, Sophie whats wrong?" He asks, rushing to me.

"My baby, I'm pregnant, you have to help me."

"Holy fuck. OK, here we go." He says, picking me up off the ground carefully. He takes me out of the bathroom and out of the house to his car, setting me in the passenger seat. He runs around to the driver side and starts the car, speeding out of the driveway.

"What hurts?" He asks

"My stomach, cramps, bad one's. Like not normal cramps."

"Does Adam know you're pregnant?"

"Yes"

"How far along are you?"

"Almost two months, eeyyooww!" I scream

"Whoa, hang on Soph, We'll be there soon. Fuck!" He yells

"What?"

"I forgot my cell, and you don't have your purse, we can't call Adam until we get to the hospital. We need to get him back here." I nod. Oh my God, baby. Please stop hurting me like this. When we arrive at the hospital, Barry looks at me.

"Alright, we're here." He says, parking the car. He gets out and runs to my side, opening the door he picks me up and carries me to the emergency room.

"We need a doctor. She's two month's pregnant and having severe cramps" He yells when we get inside. A nurse brings a stretcher and Barry sets me down on it. The nurse hands him a clipboard and a pen.

"I'm going to need you to fill this out sir." She says to Barry.

"OK, hey girl, it's gonna be OK, I'll be right there." He says to me when the nurses wheel me into a room. They put me in a gown and start hooking me up to a bunch of machines, monitering my heart and the baby's heart.

"What's wrong with my baby?" I ask

No one is answering my questions. One nurse finally tells me that my blood pressure is very high and that I need to stay calm. A doctor comes in after they give me some medicine that's supposed to help the pain.

"Hello Ms. Ross, Your friend is making a big racket out there wanting to see you, so we're gonna check you out and see if we can get him in here for you." He smile's reassuringly at me. He looks at the machines and frowns at the one monitering the baby's heart.

"What's wrong with my baby?" I ask.

"Well, the fetus is very young and weak, The baby just isnt strong enough to fight anything off if something goes wrong. But we're giving you some different treatments to try and help things out a little. Is the medication the nurse gave you working yet?" I nod

"Good, well, I'm gonna let your friend in with you now while we wait for some tests to come back."

The doctor walks out, leaving me with two nurses. Barry rushes in the door, coming to my side and taking my hand.

"I called Adam, he's on his way but, it's like a two hour drive from his sister's place. Did they tell you what wrong yet?" He asks

"My baby is dying inside of me" I say, bawling.

"No, no baby. It's gonna be OK, they have to prepare you for the worst it all" I shake my head.

"They told me that the baby isn't strong enough."

He continues to hold my hand for the next hour and a half until the doctor come's back in.

"I'm going to assume that this is the father of the child." The doctor says, geturing at Barry.

"No, he's on his way."

"Well, then I'm going to have to ask you to step out for a minute, I have to give Ms.Ross some news." I'm totally numb, staring into space.

"No, I'm staying here." Barry tells the doctor.

"Sir, unless you're the father of the child or a relative, you can't be in here."

"Oh no" He says, standing up. "How the fuck would you like it if that were, God forbid, your wife or your daughter in that bed? Would you leave, Doc? I don't think so-"

I turn in bed to look at him.

"Barry" I say quietly, almost whispering. I hold my hand out, It's the first thing that I can feel, that he stopped holding my hand. He takes my hand and sits in the chair next to my bed.

"She's my friend, I've been here the whole time and I'm not leaving until her boyfriend gets here." Barry says.

"Ms.Ross, is this alright with you?" The doctor asks me.

"Yes, it's fine. Tell me what happened to my baby."

He looks down and tells me what I already know.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Ross, we did everything we could but, you've suffered a miscarraige."

I break down, crying. Barry stands and puts his arms around me. It wasnt supposed to happen like this, our kid wasn't supposed to die.

"Is there anyone we can call for you?" The doctor asks. I can't say anything, I'm sobbing so hard. When I'm done crying, Barry sits back down and continues to hold my hand. We sit there in silence for a while, until I can hear Adam out in the waiting room asking people where I am.

"Adam" Barry says, loud enough so that he can hear him in the other room. I glance at the door and see Adam walk in fast, he looks at Barry and Barry shakes his head at Adam, looking down at the floor. Adam looks at me.

"Hey baby, I'm here now." He says to me.

"I'm going to give you guys some time" Barry says, letting go of my hand. Adam nods at him and takes a place at my bedside.

"I lost him. I lost our baby" I say to him, bringing on a whole new batch of tears.

"Hey, it's okay babe. He's in a better place now." He says

"It wasnt supposed to die inside of me!" I cry.

He crawls into the bed with me and wraps his arms around me.

"Shhh, it's not your fault. You did everything right, it just wasn't meant to be, honey."

I continue to cry into his shoulder, Barry comes in a while later and Adam tells him to go home. Adam strokes my hair until I'm all cried out and have no more tears.

"Do you think he was in pain?" I ask Adam.

"No, I think he was very peaceful."

"He knew we couldn't give him the right kind of life, He knew I wasn't going to be a good mom." I say.

"You would have been an amazing mom."

"You would have been a great dad, Adam"

"Maybe in the future we can try again." I shake my head 'no'.

"I'm so sorry,love, that I wasn't here for you."

"Barry was amazing, I'm so glad that he was there."

"Me too."

I fall asleep with Adam holding me. I wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares, everytime Adam would talk me down and I would fall asleep again.

The next morning I wake up alone in my hospital bed. I call out for Adam and get no response, I see a large bouquet of flowers next to my bed. I reach over and grab the card. It's from Barry, Tobin, Austin, Mike and Mark. I start crying again, softly. Adam must have called Mike, I don't know how Tobin would have known, Barry might have told him. Adam comes in a moment later.

"Hey" He says " Have you been awake long?"

"No, when did the flowers come?"

"This morning"

"What amazing friends we have." I say. He nods and sits in the chair.

"I just can't believe this has happened. I was just getting used to the idea of being pregnant and now I'm just... not"

"It's crazy how life works out sometimes." He says

"Yeah it is."

"I love you, Sophie"

"I love you too"

The nurse come's in and smiles at us, not a true smile, like the kind that people give you when they don't know what to say. She tells me that they're releasing me later in the day and that I need to take it easy the next few days. When she leaves I look at Adam again.

"How am I supposed to go to my parents house tomorrow and act like everything is fine?"

"You're not. I'm not going back to my sister's either, you'll tell them that you're sick or something."

"OK"

"Mike brought you some clothes when he stopped by with the flowers."

"He was here?" I ask

"Yeah, you were sleeping. Do you want me to help you get dressed?"

"Mmmmhhmm"

Once I'm dressed, we both sit on the bed and talk for awhile.

"I think I'll be okay someday." I say

"I know you will" He starts to sing me some old Eric Clapton song.

"Baby you look wonderful tonight" He sings.