Untouched

I walked into the front door of Matt’s house with that sick feeling in my stomach. That one where you know you shouldn’t be somewhere because someone you can’t handle yourself around will be there, and you’re dressed the best you’ve ever looked and you still know that you’re not going to matter to them? Yeah, that feeling.

I could already hear his laughter, and his voice rang out over everyone else’s, people hooting and laughing as I imagined him doing something stupid and completely scary while everyone just found it amusing. I took a deep breath as I looked at the back of Matt’s t shirt and followed him around the corner into the living room.

The house was decorated beautifully. There were balloons stuffed with helium floating above the snack table. The snack table was covered in a table cloth, various types of drinks set on top of it, anywhere from Pepsi to Jack Daniels. Tons of bags of chips rested near the drinks, most of them open and still full.

Matt turned around and looked at me with his big brown eyes, “Acacia, don’ look so sad.”

“Shut up,” I mumbled, “I don’ want teh be 'ere.”

He reached down and pulled the small blue bag from my left hand and brought it up to his grinning face, pointing at it with his other hand, “But yeh're meh best friend and it’s meh birthday. So be happy for meh.”

“Whooooo.” I said softly, putting my hands up in the air.

He turned around with the bag in his hand and placed it on the counter. I shyly made my way all the way into the living room, standing barely a foot away from Matt, too scared and self conscious to walk around on my own.

“’Ello yeh lil bugger!” Lee smiled, running over and giving me a hug, “How’re yeh?”

“'M fine.” I sighed quietly, trying my hardest not to glance over at Oliver who was now talking loud enough to shake the house, his arm wrapped tightly around a new girl’s shoulder.

Lee looked over at him too and then turned back to me, “Don’t let ‘im get teh yeh Acacia. 'E ain’t worth it.”

“No Lee, its meh who ain't worth it and yeh know that.”

“Shut up Acacia.” He said, his face getting a stern look, “Don’t yeh say that.”

I simply rolled my eyes and headed towards the bathroom. Once inside, I shut the door tightly and locked it. I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair curled perfectly and my bangs pulled back, revealing my blue eyes and the make up that surrounded them. The mirror ended at my pale, naked shoulders. Only dressed in a tank top and jeans, I was cold in Matt’s house.

I looked down at the bathroom counter, deodorant pushed over lazily and a tube of toothpaste next to it. I reached down and touched the top of the toothbrush, still wet from being used previously. The cap to the mouthwash was set on top of the bottle, not screwed on.

I reached across the counter to tighten the lid when a loud knock came at the door. I reached towards the knob and then heard a quiet chuckle at something someone else was yelling across the room. I knew that chuckle. It belonged to none other than Oliver Sykes.

“Oi, what’re yeh doin’ in there?” He laughed, knocking again, “Open the damn door.”

I tightened my grip on the door knob and twisted it. The lock popped open and I pulled the door back, coming face to face with Oli. I watched as realization smacked him hard across the face, leaving him stupid.

“Oi, I didn’ know yeh were in ‘ere. Sorreh.”

“No, it’s alrigh’.” I muttered softly, stepping past him.

My face brushed against his shoulder, courtesy of our height difference and I got a whiff of his familiar scent. Made up of an expensive cologne, shampoo, and the always present small taste of alcohol. As if that was bad enough, he managed to run his hand along my back, trying to hold the door open.

Once I was out of the room, Oli had almost closed the door when I placed my hand on it, holding it open.

“Oi.” He mumbled with his back towards me, “What’re yeh doin’?”

“Can we talk?” I said quietly, “Please?”

“Abou’ what?” He snarled.

“Olleh.” I whimpered, “Please"

This time, he turned around to answer me, “I already told yeh Acacia. It’s over, alrigh’? I don’ know what the ‘ell is wrong with yeh. I cheated on yeh, I used yeh and everyone wants yeh teh stay away from meh. What’re yeh doin’?”

Tears sprung to my eyes quickly as I replied, “I don’t give a damn what they say, what they think Olleh. I just want yeh.”

“I cheated on yeh an’ now I’ve gotta deal with the consequence,” He sighed.

“Don’t even talk abou' consequence!” I yelled slightly, “Yeh know I don’ care.”

“Acacia,” He sighed, placing a hand on my cheek, “Go ‘ave fun at the party. Enjoy yerself, alrigh’?”

With that, he closed the door. I thought about punching the door and screaming, but I didn’t want to cause a scene. I raised a hand to my face and touched where his hand had just been. I bit my tongue, ignoring my emotions and walked back out to the living room where everyone was greeting Curtis.

“Acacia!” He yelled running towards me and embracing me in a hug, “I missed yeh.”

I nodded against him and hugged him roughly, “I missed yeh too.”

He pulled away from me and looked at me, “He told yeh, didn’t ‘e?”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “’e did.”

“Oh, 'm sorry.” He mumbled, “I shoul' learn to keep meh mouth shut. How are yeh ‘oldin’ up?”

“Alrigh’ I guess. I’ve been way better.”

“Well, yeh look nice.” He smiled.

“Thanks.”

The bathroom door was thrown open loudly and Oli burst out of the doorway, not even bothering to give a simple ‘ello to Curtis. He sat down next to his new girlfriend and whispered something in her ear.

I turned around quickly and made my way to the porch, grabbing a cup of something on the way out. I sat down on one of the chairs and let myself cry. I took a long sip of whatever I had and choked on the acidy taste. I hurled the cup across the lawn and curled up in the chair, resting my head on the table.

“I don’ understand,” I cried softly, “I want yeh so much. I miss yeh, I can’t do this without yeh Olleh.”

I didn’t care that he cheated on me. I would have stayed with him regardless. The only thing I cared about right now was not having him by my side, holding my hand.

But what hurts the most is he’s doing that to another girl right now, as if I’m not important enough.

I ignored the sounds of the party inside and proceeded to cry, closing my eyes and eventually falling asleep.