Addicted to Plush Brian Haner JR

A cup of coffee sat in front of me. The steam slowly rising and fading into nothing. Much like the smoke from my cigarette. The ocean air felt good on my face. It was like a memory I'd forgotten. Home. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. The porcelain lightly burned my fingers but it was somewhat soothing. The houses around weren't awake yet. It was still to early. The clouds in the sky made the weather feel just right. A kiss of warmth in the light breeze. I sighed. My thought process is off. Drinking to much. That's what's messed me up. I actually thought I could even think about being with someones wife. Yes she's beautiful. I shook my head. Running my hands down my face. I haven't slept.

Brian: fuck me. What were you thinking? Crazy shit that's what. She's a married woman. And to your friend asshole. But I need her. I've never felt so...needful of anything. Its not what you think Brian. Just a mere attraction. Forbidden fruit. She is forbidden fruit...

Matt: dude you sound like a crazy person talking to yourself out here.

He chuckled a bit. I glanced at him.

Brian: what the fuck are you doing here so early?

Matt: work out day.

He said cheerfully. I wasn't in the mood to work out. My thoughts were else where.

Brian: I'm really not feeling all that good man.

Matt: hung over?

Brian: yeah.

Matt: that's alright.

He smiled and patted my back.

Matt: we can start another day.

I nodded. He rested against the railing. Looking out at the beach.

Matt: I'm going to go for a jog.

Brian: all right.

Matt: I'll be back.

I watched him jog on the beach. Becoming a tiny speck. Its a good morning for it. My cigarette met my lips. Inhaling deeply. My eyes closed and I enjoyed the smokey flavor. This cigarette was my joy. One of the simple joys I have that will never change. How faithful addiction is. The waves seemed quiet. My brown eyes looked out at the water. The sun had started to poke through the clouds. Bouncing off the water randomly. I stared at it. The dark grey slowly turning to a deep blue. The white caps lapping about. Maybe I'd go surfing later. Dogs ran about. Voices echoed off the beach. And my cup of coffee is ice fucking cold. What time is it? I grabbed the cold cup and walked inside. Nine thirty eight. Matt isn't back yet. I dumped the coffee and got a fresh cup. I planted my butt on the couch and flipped through the channels. I wonder what happened to Amber. Maybe she found another "rock star" to fuck. I'm done with bitches like that. With their fake nails and orange tans. Money grubbin' little hens. They don't care about me or anybody else. What's the price for fifteen minutes of fame? A cock in their mouths. I huffed and shook my head. If only I could be as lucky as some. I can be...I will be.

Brian: stop thinking that way. Its just not a possibility. Why not? Because she's married. So? Divorce is a very common fad now a days.

I leaned my head back. There was a cob web on my ceiling. It stretched from the corner to about the middle.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

What the fuck. Who the fuck is here now? I haven't even been home a week. If its a sales person...sighing I stood and went to the door.

Brian: what?

I asked annoyed and opening the door. The petite woman looked up at me with a raised brow. Her face said it all.

Girl: seriously with the attitude?

I stepped aside and let her in.

Brian: I didn't know it was you Melly.

Melly: you look like shit dude.

Brian: yeah well I've been on tour for about two years, what do you expect?

Melly: a fuckin' hug is what I expect asshole.

I smiled and held my arms open. She wrapped hers around me and kissed my cheek.

Melly: welcome home.

Brian: thanks.

Melly: how did the road treat you?

Brian: better than old times.

She nodded. Her eyes carefully scanned me over.

Brian: I'm fine.

I reassured her pondering eyes.

Brian: I'm just hung over.

Seems like the easiest to say.

Melly: of course you are.

Brian: how have you been?

Melly: ok.

I frowned.

Brian: and James?

Melly: ok. You hungry? I could make you something to eat.

Brian: I don't have any food.

She smiled a bit.

Brian: did you go grocery shopping for me?

Melly: I figured you'd need the food.

She smiled. We brought in the bags of food. I sat at the counter and watched her cook.

Melly: you want eggs?

Brian: can I get an omelet?

Melly: yeah.

She smiled.

Brian: I'd make a few Matt should be coming soon.

She nodded and kept up with her work. This made the coming home process complete for me. Melly babied me. I smiled at the thought. There's something about coming home and her visiting that just made it. Its probley got a lot to do with the cooking. I waited patiently. The smell was making my mouth water and my stomach talk. I stared at the now full fruit bowl. Apples, bananas, and few oranges.

Matt: what smells so damn good!

His voice seemed to boom. It disrupted the peaceful silence. My mood didn't match his. So it was hard to feel as upbeat and cheerful.

Brian: omelets.

He sat next to me. Melly placed two cups of orange juice in front of us. He downed his and she quickly refilled it. His eyes darted over Melly.

Brian: that was a long ass run dude.

Matt: yeah, I just felt the need to keep going.

I nodded.

Melly: would you like an omelet Matt.

She stated more than asked.

Matt: yes please.

Brian: how far do you think you ran?

He shrugged and drank his juice.

Matt: hi Melly.

Melly: hi Matt.

She placed a plate inbetween us. We looked at each other. I beat him and pulled it to me. She laughed a little.

Matt: how are you?

She nodded.

Melly: ok.

Matt: and James.

Melly: ok. Feels good to be home?

Matt: fuck yeah.

My brows furrowed. I took a big bite of my food. It was then I noticed the light puffyness around her eyes.

Matt: how was the party?

Brian: it wos goo.

Melly: swallow before you talk. Beast.

I smiled a little.

Melly: you didn't go?

Matt: no.

Brian: why didn't you guys go?

Melly: we were going to.

Brian: but?

Melly: James and with...we just couldn't.

Brian: all right?

She gave us a half hearted smile.

Matt: this is really good.

Melly: its just an omelet.

Matt: yeah a really good omelet. Thank you for making them.

Brian: yes thank you very much.

Melly: you're welcome.

Her voice was quiet.

Brian: not going to eat?

Melly: no I've eaten already. More juice?

Brian: please.

She poured me more. What could be going on that she isn't telling me? I'll find out soon enough I suppose. We talked. Melly has a way of making people comfortable. Even when moods seem to be clashing. As I'm guessing she sensed. She kept Matt entertained. Leaving me to eat in silence. Alone without actually having to be. Enough for me to lose them in my own battles in my head. There I really was alone. I imagined myself bashing me for thinking so idiodically. No matter how much I tried to convice myself, it just pushed me more. My eyes snapped to Melly.

Brian: I'd love another one.

Her eyes looked at me.

Matt: feeling better man?

Brian: a little.

Melly: maybe you should take some aspirin.

I shook my head.

Brian: I should eat another omelet.

Melly: would you like another?

Matt: no thank you, I'm going to head out.

Brian: all right man.

Matt: see you around Melly.

She gave a nod.

Matt: bye Bri.

He left.

Melly: loud fucker isn't he?

Brian: he can be.

Melly: I'd hate to have him around with a bad hang over.

I nodded.

Brian: you've no idea.

My face rested in my hands.

Melly: you should think about getting some sleep.

Brian: I have thought about it.

Melly: so funny.

Sarcasim drenched her voice. She flopped the omelet on my plate. I jumped a bit. I made quick work on it. The sink was going. Dishes clinked together. The light scent of some sort of citrus filled the air.

Melly: I've bought you grocieries, made you food, and washed the dishes. I've got to go.

Brian: you forgot one.

Her eyes narrowed playfully.

Melly: I'm sure you can handle it.

She came around the island and to my side. Her arm drapped around me.

Melly: and get some fuckin' sleep. I can't have my cousin dying of exhaustion. You've got to over dose. That's how rock stars die.

We chuckled. She kissed my cheek. Her face got serious.

Melly: and if you need to talk...just give me a call.

I frowned.

Brian: I'll be sure to.