Addicted to Plush Brian Haner JR

The great thing about where I live is being able to blast music as loud as I fucking want. No complaints because neighbors are far apart enough. Plus they don't care. Even if they did. I don't. All the windows and doors were open in my house. Except the front. I didn't want people to think just because I'm blasting music as loud as possible with everything open they can just walk in. Fresh air flowed freely in my house. What a wonderful feeling. Another great thing. Being able to walk around naked. Which I wasn't completely I had boxers on. You get it though. I'm finally getting the chance to wind down from the tour. Open up and be me again. Not grumpy I hate people Brian. Maybe I'd call one of the guys up to do something. My mood was better. Coffee was fresh. Food was hot. I smiled as I ate by myself. The sun warmed my back a little. What I didn't finish from my breakfast I fed to the birds. Best garbage disposal ever. I took my time bathing and getting dressed. Feeling no rush to do any of these things for the first time in a while. Felt good. I went even slower with closing all the doors and windows.

Brian: sadly as much as I love your work Slash its time to go off.

The click let me know it was now at rest. Silence completely over swept me. Almost catching me off my mental balance.

Brian: should've turned it down before just shutting it off.

I shrugged.

Brian: oh well fuck it.

A ride on my bike sounded really perfect. The engine roared. Filling the quiet air. Wind whipped passed my body as I drove. Passing cars. Weaving around. Today felt like it was going to be great. At a red light I sat patiently. A girl next to me sent me some looks. She had a typical pretty face. You know. Outlined eyes, glossed lips, perfectly straight hair. Her wardrobe consisted of light colored pinks and whites. It washed her out. I gave her a polite smile. Her hand reached out with a small piece of paper. The nails were to bright for me. I looked at her hand. Not even bothering to reach for it. Any other day I might have. She just reminded me to much of what I wanted to get away from. Her white smile started to fade.

Brian: no thank you.

I didn't wait for the light to turn green. I refuse to fall back to that mess of women. They're good for a quick fix, but you pay for it in the end. There's no real care with those. The streets felt welcoming. Its like the city knew I'd been gone so long. I pulled up to a parking spot. Today I would walk the streets as Brian Haner Jr. Not Synyster Gates. I can only hope fans are a minimum today. Its my time off. Humming quietly to myself I walked down the little strip. Ingesting my surroundings. My home streets. The stores were buzzing with locals and their families. Friends shared laughs. Couples enjoyed each others company. Not today. I'm not going to flood my mind with her today. She will though. Leak through the cracks and seep into my thoughts. When a finger tapped my shoulder I inwardly sighed. My face plastered a semi-decent smile and I turned around.

Brian: oh...umm...I...hey.

The smile she already had on her face only got a bit wider.

Jenn: hello.

It would be worse than her seeping through the cracks of my mind. Awkward silence.

Jenn: how are you?

Brian: uuhhmm...

She waited for an answer and I just fumbled with words.

Brian: f-fine. Good. I'm good.

A small laugh escaped her lips. I scratched my head as an a result of awkward reflex.

Brian: how are you?

Jenn: been better.

Brian: oh shit. Is there something I can do to make your day better or?

Jenn: not unless you can bring my husband back.

Brian: if I could I would.

No I wouldn't. She smiled.

Brian: what brings you he-here?

Why am I fumbling idiot?

Jenn: I'm meeting my friend.

She shrugged and casually looked at some random thing.

Brian: that's cool.

Jenn: yeah its the one we talked about at your house.

Brian: the one into greek mythology.

Jenn: yes. You remembered.

I nodded.

Jenn: what are you up to today?

She hardly knew me and yet she seemed geniually interested. Or it felt that way.

Brian: just..uh...stuff. I don't know.

Jenn: its one of those days.

I shook my head not understanding.

Jenn: you know where you go out just for the fuck of it.

Brian: oh...yeah I guess.

Jenn: you're a very confused person aren't you?

Brian: not usually.

Jenn: we've all got our moments. Well I just thought I'd say hi since I saw you.

I nodded.

Brian: thanks.

She kept the smile but frowned a bit.

Jenn: for what?

Brian: for saying hi...you know...just ignore me I'm retarded.

Jenn: you're funny. I'll probley see you around.

I thought it'd be safer to just smile and nod. She waved and was on her way. My eyes followed her out.

Brian: you're an idiot Brian. I got to get the fuck out of here.

I made my somewhere. Anywhere is good. Where I could talk to someone about anything that didn't revolve around her. A dog barked when I approached the door. Zacky doesn't even need a door bell with that dog always barking up a storm. The door opened and he just looked at me.

Brian: good morning.

Zacky: what up dude?

His voice was groggy.

Brian: bored.

Zacky: you know what I do when I'm bored?

Brian: what?

Zacky: sleep.

Brian: its noon.

Zacky: precisely.

Brian: let's go do something.

He yawned.

Zacky: now?

Brian: yeah.

Zacky: what?

Brian: surf.

Zacky: couldn't you have done that at you're own house.

Brian: I'm inviting you over to surf.

Zacky: I'm tired. I haven't slept all night. Ask Matt or Jimmy.

Brian: you are such a lazy ass sometimes.

Zacky: don't care.

I walked out of his house.

Brian: well that was unsuccessful.

I'd go surf by myself. I've been meaning to anyway. The water was clear today. The waves weren't angry. And the sun was just right. I sat on my board waiting for the opportune moment.

Brian: you should have asked her to hang out. What am I? In highschool? No. It just seems like the nice thing todo. Bullshit. He left. To go on tour. He didn't leave her. Still.

I rolled my eyes. There were a few people on the beach and in the water. They are all far enough to not hear me argue with myself.

Brian: she is forbidden. Yes I've already discussed that. So leave it alone. I can't. People always want to taste the forbidden fruit. She is the forbidden fruit and I'm the snake...

The perfect wave came I took it. If I wasn't so caught up in my thoughts it wouldn't have been a waste. My body slapped into the water. The wave swallowed me and my board. Twisting and turning me. I gasped for air.

Brian: holy shit.

Paddling my way to shore I noticed more people were showing up. I laid on the sand. Staring into the sky. The crashing waves being my music. Birds flew by. One, two, three, four. Seagulls. Loud ass fuckers. My lungs worked extra hard to regulate my breathing. I wiped the extra water from my face. The sand was warm. My eyes closed. You seem to pick up on many more sounds when you close your eyes. I could hear cars on the street. Doors closing. People talking. A cat. Someone owns a cat around here? Mentally I shrugged. Wind blew lightly. Causing my body to feel a bit cold. It wasn't terrible.

Matt: are you alright man?

My eyes shot open.

Brian: what?

Matt: you ok?

Brian: yeah. What are you doing here?

Matt: I was bored.

He shrugged casually.

Brian: want to work out?

Matt: sure.

He helped me up and we walked back to my house.

Matt: so what do you feel on working on today?

I shrugged.

Brian: doesn't really matter.

Matt: let's just start with some reps.

Brian: that works.

Matt got us set up and we started. The gym is always good to me. Most of the people here are here for one thing. To improve themselves. Not fuckin' jibber jabber and shit. I knew I could come here and not worry about randoms coming up and trying to be my friend.

Brian: you're quiet.

Matt: I don't have anything to say.

Things seem to be off to me lately. Must just be me.

Matt: I'm just tierd I think.

Brian: we don't have to work out.

Matt: no I want to.

We moved in silence.

Matt: I was thinking.

Brian: yeah.

Matt: we should go up to the cabin.

Brian: we who?

Matt: who ever wants to go. We could hike, fish. Relax.

Brian: that sounds like a good idea.

It sounded like an escape I've been needing.