Addicted to Plush Brian Haner JR

Brightly lit numbers and letters teased my fingers. Just a few pushes of buttons and I'd be connected. Unless she didn't answer the phone. Even so, if she answered what was I going to say?

Brian: this is a bad idea. No shit but who cares. Its not right. He's not here, he doesn't have to find out. Yeah because its wrong and nothing is going to happen so there.

With or without my control I pushed the green lit button on my phone. Most people would hang up. Ignore the fact they just tried to call someone. I couldn't. The rings kept going and I waited.

Click.

Jenn: hello?

Fuck.

Brian: hi.

Jenn: who is this?

This was really awkward in all the wrong ways.

Brian: its Brian.

Jenn: Brian?

Now I felt like an idiot.

Brian: umm...yeah...Brian. Jacoby's friend.

Jenn: oh! Hey how are you? Sorry I was confused.

She laughed.

Brian: its cool.

Jenn: what can I do for you?

Great now what.

Jenn: are you there?

Brian: yeah sorry.

Jenn: was there something you needed?

Brian: what are you up to today?

Jenn: work. Why?

Brian: never mind. Have you heard from Jacoby?

Her sigh made me happy in a strange way.

Jenn: no I haven't.

The sadness in her tone made me smile a little. I am a sick man.

Jenn: I'll tell him you called though.

Brian: oh no need.

Jenn: ok...I've got to go. I'm running late for work.

Brian: have a good day at work.

Jenn: I'll try. Bye.

She hung up. Well I didn't come off as a creep at all. I slapped my hands to my face. What the fuck was that? Really? Shit. I threw my phone on the couch and went outside. This is not ok.

Brian: what the fuck is wrong with me!?

I ran off. Going down the small path to the beach. The sand sunk underneath my feet. The misty morning air surrounded me as I ran. I could taste the salt. The smell of the water was comforting. The crashing of the waves calmed the sick thoughts in my mind. My blood pulsed through my veins. It felt good to run. Nothing could touch me. No one would bother me. I would be ignored because I'm running. There isn't anyone on the beach yet anyway. That helped. My lungs burned when I finally stopped. I leaned against the railing of my porch.

Brian: holy....shit....

In and out. Slowly.

Brian: ok Brian. Breath.

I opened the door and let myself in. My body just fell onto the couch. I was shaking.

Jimmy: get up. Dude wake up.

My eyes fought to open up.

Jimmy: Bri wake up.

Brian: Jimmy? How did you get in here?

Jimmy: your front door is open.

I sat up and scratched my stomach.

Brian: what time is it?

Jimmy: noon.

Brian: damn. What's up man?

Jimmy: I haven't seen you since the bbq dude.

He shrugged.

Jimmy: want to get some lunch?

Brian: sure.

I didn't bother changing.

Brian: Jim.

Jimmy: yes?

Brian: would you think its crazy to go after a chick-

Jimmy: not unless you're gay.

I smiled and shook my head.

Brian: you didn't let me finish.

Jimmy: sorry. Go on.

Brian: who you know won't go for it?

Jimmy: how do you know she won't go for it?

Brian: she's different.

Jimmy: what do you mean?

Brian: this isn't the usual one night type of fuck I'm talking about, Jimmy.

His blue eyes looked at me curiously.

Jimmy: then what is it?

A dangerous game.

Brian: I don't know.

He frowned.

Brian: I don't know her very well yet.

Jimmy: do I know her?

Brian: no more than I do.

Jimmy: only you hold yourself back.

And her husband.

Brian: I just know she won't go for me.

Jimmy: please I've yet to see a woman not fall for your oh so fabulous Haner charm.

Brian: she's different.

Jimmy: it is said that if you didn't have to work hard to get it, its not worth anything.

Brian: who says that?

Jimmy: people?

He laughed a bit.

Jimmy: its common sense.

Brian: I guess.

Jimmy: where did you find this girl?

Brian: I didn't.

Jimmy: when do I get to see the poor victim?

Brian: fuck you. I don't know man.

He smiled.

Jimmy: well I can't wait. My little Syny is finally growing up.

I shook my head. No I'm not growing up. Cause if that were the case I would have decided to let her go. Instead I'm taking the direct route to the city of the damned. To misery and pain. Lies and deceit. I lit up a smoke when we got outside.

Jimmy: are you going up to Big Bear?

Brian: yeah man aren't you?

He shrugged.

Brian: you should. I invited Melly and James.

Jimmy: I haven't seen her in awhile.

Brian: see you could potentially see her.

Jimmy: true. You should have another barbecue and invite them.

Brian: why don't you have one and invite them?

Jimmy: your house is cooler. We've got the beach if we have it at your place. You could even invite the girl.

Brian: what girl?

Jimmy: the one we were talking about earlier.

Brian: no.

Jimmy: better yet! You should invite her to Big Bear with us.

Brian: no. I told you I don't know her that well.

Jimmy: so. You could get to know her at Big Bear.

He nudged me. I shook my head.

Brian: she's a classy gal.

Jimmy: you said you didn't know her.

Brian: I don't but she's the type that you can tell.

I laid awake in my bed. Its about twelve or so. Am I really going to go through with this?

Brian: its to late to go back. No its not. Yes it is. How so? You've already told Jimmy. And? You've called her. Big deal. Tomorrow you're going to call her and ask her out to lunch. Am I now? Yes.

I closed my eyes and listened to the verbal battle in my head. Hopefully I could get some sleep before the sun rose. Sun poured into the room. I sat up and looked at the clock.

Brian: don't forget you're calling her and inviting her to lunch today. Its just a friendly lunch. You don't mean anything by it. Yeah I'm sure I don't.

I smirked at myself in the mirror as I reached the bathroom. There really isn't anything harmful with a lunch. Its not like asking her to dinner. Lunch is a harmless meal. Dinner is the one you've got to look out for. Why? Well because its more intimate. Dark. You're getting ready to wind down for the day. Sex. That's the major reason. Then again it doesn't have to be dinner and sex. It could be dinner and a movie. That's pretty harmless. Maybe dinner later on wouldn't be such a bad idea either. Seeing as how I don't really mean anything by it. I'm just being nice. Friendly. You know because she might be lonely. What with her husband being gone. Plus since when can a man not have a woman as a friend? My feet carried me back to my bed and I picked up my phone. It rang a few times.

Jenn: hello?

Brian: hey Jenn its Brian.

Jenn: oh hi.

Brian: do you work today?

Jenn: yes, why?

Brian: I was wondering if you'd like to meet me on your lunch break?

There was a pause. My heart raced.

Jenn: umm...sure...

She said uneasily. The corners of my lips turned up. No harm. Not one ounce.