A Not So Harry Christmas

Harry Potter awoke in the arms of Ron Weasley. “Oh Ronnie, get off me!” Harry boasted. Ron released his arms and rolled over to the other side of the bed, so he was facing the wall. Harry got up and went straight to his closet. Snow was forming a white blanket over Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry. Ruffling his hair Harry went downstairs and into the private lounge he had been given from Severus Snape as a belated birthday gift. Harry perched himself on the red and white striped armchair awaiting Hermione and her boyfriend Neville to arrive, for today was Christmas.
Ron came downstairs. “Harry, Hermione just Skyped me! She will be a wee bit late”
“What!” Harry yelled. “She said she would be here at 9’o’clock sharp! I’m not bloody waiting for her and ‘Nevvy-boo’ to arrive. Let’s open our presents!”
“But Harry, it’s been a tradition! We have known each other for how long?”
“7 years”
“And Harry, how long have been dating for from Monday next week?”
“1 year and 3 months”
“Exactly, This has been a sacred tradition and we are not breaking it today!”
Harry sighed and nodded. Ron was the real man in this relationship. No matter how much Harry tried to take over the relationship and run it his way, he never succeeded. He was just a female equivalent.
“Anyways Ron! I was wondering if maybe, we can invite Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall around for Christmas lunch. Dumbledore’s like a father to me you know”
“For sure Harry. When did they get back from their honeymoon?” Ron asked curiously.
“Two or three days ago I think?”
“Oh yes I remember reading in the daily prophet actually. It sounded like they had a nice time in Hawaii. Heard McGonagall pulled out her bikini!” Ron gasped.
“Ooh Dumbledore would’ve enjoyed that!” chuckled Harry.
“Yeah and apparently a few muggles wanted a piece of her, if you know what I mean!” Ron winked.
Harry got up and opened the door. Hermione was there dragging Neville Longbottom on her arm.
“Hey Harry. Hey Ronald” Hermione greeted.
“Hermione, please don’t call him Ronald. It’s Ron or nothing”
“But you call him Ronnie!”
“That’s because we are dating Hermione!”
“Oh” Hermione grunted.
The four friends sat in a circle around the Christmas tree that was placed in the centre of Harry’s private lounge. They all joined hands and started humming.
“From the light of the sun” Harry screamed.
“And the dust on the ground” Hermione chimed in.
“And all the little creatures in this wizarding world!” Ron sang.
“We all join forces to present” Neville spoke.
“Christmas!!” they all screeched a tone-deaf tune.
They all dropped their hands and Ron began passing out presents to each of them.
“Harry baby, this is for you!” Ron purred under his breath.
“Ooh Ronnie-boo”
Harry ever so carefully unwrapped his present. “Oh. My. God. Ron! You shouldn’t have!” Harry pulled out a beige sweater that had stitched onto it ‘I love my boyfriend’. Harry hugged it and put it on sniffing its new sweater scent.
“I’m just glad you like it” Ron blushed.
Next it was Harry’s present to Hermione, a coupon for 15% off at Wizards’R’us a department store in Diagon Alley. Hermione got both Ron and Harry a signed Spice Girls cd and some Spice Girls merchandise. Neville gave Hermione a coffee mug and she gave him a pair of Ray-Bans and finally Ron gave Hermione a t-shirt saying ‘Filthy Mudblood! Hermione took it seriously and slapped Ron around the face leaving a bright red mark on his usually pale, left cheek.
After a few hours of sharing stories and such, Hermione and her partner, Neville left the small apartment-like home of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley.
“Right, I’ll go and ring Albus and Minerva, see if they want to come around” Ron instructed.
Harry departed as well but to the bathroom where he looked into the mirror ruthlessly. ‘Should I tell Ron?’ he thought. ‘But then again, maybe it’s not true…’ Harry spun around and locked the door. He then went into the top drawer in his bathroom and pulled out a smallish box which contained a pregnancy test. After 5minutes the device beeped and Harry pulled it up, so he could see what the tiny screen read. ‘Positive. I thought so.’ Harry sat on the bathroom floor and started crying. He only stopped when Ron knocked on the door. “Harry is you alright in there? Do you want help with anything?”
Harry quickly tidied up his pregnancy test and then unlocked the door and fell into Ron’s arms. “Oh Ronnie, I didn’t know how to tell you!”
“Tell me what?” Ron asked staunchly.
“Ron, I’m pregnant” Harry said looking up into Ron’s eyes.
“What? How? When? Sorry!”
“Sshh…” Harry whispered shoving his index finger to Ron’s soft lips. “Don’t be sorry” and then they started making out.
After a pash fest, Dumbledore approached the door opening it straight away. He walked into find Harry and Ron on the couch, half-naked. “Are we too early?” he asked embarrassed.
“Not at all sir” Harry replied.
Ron pulled out of the oven a turkey he had prepared earlier. They also told Albus and Minerva their most recent news.
Minerva McGonagall suggested a few names like Rarry or Honald, but the best thing she suggested out of the lot was Ned and Leo. They both seriously considered them.
* * *
2 months later Harry had his first scan and the baby was looking healthy. 3 months later, they found it was two children who Ron and Harry would be fathers too. 5 months after the day they discovered about their blessing, or curse, they found out Harry was carrying a boy and a girl.
9 months later, Harry was giving birth. Ron was right there beside him, holding his hand as the two babies came out his anus.
“Ron!” Harry screamed. “It feels like I’m squeezing a fucking watermelon out my ass!”
“It’s going to be okay babe!” Ron assured.
“ARGGGHHH!” Harry screamed at the top of his lungs. After four hours of labour, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were blessed with Ned Terrence Weasley-Potter and Georgie Leo Weasley-Potter.

The End.