Snake Bite Heart With a Bubble Gum Smile

Lebanese food made by Jack's hand is amazing. I honestly didn't think he had a single cooking cell in his brain. Apparently he does.

I eat the food Jack graciously made for our picnic. I can't seem to get enough of it. Jack watches me but says nothing at my sudden need for nutrients. I'm glad for that. I'm sure I look bizarre shoveling food into my mouth like some barbaric animal.

"Like the food?" asks Jack, amusement playing in his voice.

I choke down the bite of food in mouth.

"Yeah, it's great," I clear my throat.

"I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"It was really nice of you to set this up," I say, putting down my plastic bowl.

"I needed to talk to you. This seemed like the best way."

"What did you need to talk about?"

As far as I'm concerned, we haven't said much of anything.

"Us."

There is no "us"; not yet at least. We're not together, not planning on dating, not engaged. There's nothing there other than our attraction to one another. There's no bond between us, no bond past friendship.

"What about us?" I ask.

He takes a breath.

"I like you. You like me. But we're not a happy family."

Did he just morph the Barnie song into an unsuccessful representation of his thoughts?

Then again, this is Jack. That probably was pretty accurate.

"Was I supposed to follow that?" I ask.

A sigh escapes from his perfect lips.

"I really like you and I know you like me. You're sixteen though. We can't be together without something bad happening."

So the morphed Barnie song was accurate.

"There is a thing called waiting."

"But are you worth waiting for?"

Deep, Barakat, very deep.

"That's for you to decide," I reply.

He says nothing in response, only stares at the gleaming water in front of him.

My heart feels cracked. But why? Jack doesn't want to risk loosing his career and freedom for me. I can understand that. We haven't known each other long. Maybe a week. A little more if you count the run in outside of the music store. So why does my heart hurt? Is it because he questioned me on my worth? Or is it because I know the answer to the question of my worth?

I'm not worth waiting for.

Jack is worth the world's weight in gold tripled.

I'm not deserving of him, not deserving of the affection he has toward me.

Jack's finger taps my nose, distracting my thoughts.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes."

"Really?"

How long is he going to keep this going?

"Yes."

"Did you want me against the locker?"

"Yes."

Oh wait.

"I knew it," he exclaims.

"I meant no," I rush.

"You think I'm sexy. It's okay. I understand. I think I'm sexy too."

"Conceited."

"Very."

Giggles push through my throat and into the air of the living world. Jack smiles.

"I should bring you home before your rottweiler of a brother decides to maul me."

"I guess so."

He leans in quickly and pushes his lips against mine. Before I can respond, he pulls away. My lips tingle. I can't help wanting more of his kisses. They're addicting.

"Let's go. I'll pick this up later," he takes my hand in his and leads me away from the picnic.

I follow, an obedient puppy in his hands.

Curse this abnormal affection.