Bitch, Bitch.

“I don't care who did what, you're the one who-”

“Emil-”

“Don't you Emil me!”

“But-”

“I'm not talking to you any more!” Nightmare hollered, slapping Bone across the face and flailing his arms around as he stormed out of the room.

Skinny stepped out of the corner he'd apparently tried to hide himself in.

“Well, then-”

“This is all your fault!” Bone hissed, pointing at the other man who threw himself back into the corner and whimpered a little.

Bone stormed out of the bedroom, through the living room and into his own room on the other side of the house. Nightmare was in the corner – what was it with those two and corners today? - sniffing a little and rubbing at his eyes.

“I'm sorry-”

“You... you!”

Bone frowned. “What?”

“You damn well know what!”

“Yes, but-”

“Ha! You admit it!” Nightmare exclaimed.

“No, but-”

“Yes! Yes, you did! You said yes!”

“Fucking hell...”

“Ha! Now get out.”

“This is my fucking room!”

“So?”

Bone sighed. “Could you just listen to me, for a minute?”

“No. Get out.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“...Don't start this, for the love of god.”

“Start what?”

“A two-year-old argument.”

“What about them?”

“If we're arguing I'd rather we at least acted older than six.”

Nightmare glared at him. “Well, then-”

“It wasn't on purpose, okay? You know how much I was drinking last night-”

“So? I drank a lot too, but-”

“Listen!” Bone yelled, his patience wearing thin.

Nightmare went quiet.

“Nothing happened. I swear it. He just... hit on me. A lot. And I... hit on him back, yes,” Bone admitted. “But,” he continued, noticing Nightmare was about to interrupt. “I swear to... something that nothing else happened. Okay?”

“...Not really.”

“Oh, come on,” Bone sighed, exasperated. “He made moves on me first,” he insisted, crossing his arms. If he wanted to act like a child, Bone sure as hell could too.

Nightmare huffed. “But-”

“Go yell at him, would you?”

“Not yet. I'm not through with you,” Nightmare said.

Bone went quiet. “...Well?”

“I'm waiting for an apology. And not some stupid one either. A proper one and a little promise-thing, too.”

“A promise-thing?” Bone asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Shut up, I'm still hungover.”

There was a thud from somewhere upstairs that sounded as if it hurt. Bone looked at the ceiling and shrugged, then averted his eyes to the man standing before him with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to do it.”

“...And?”

“And I'll never hit on Skinny again.”

“...And?”

“And what?”

Nightmare glared at him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“And... I love you?”

Nightmare cracked a small smile. “Good.”

“Come here,” Bone murmured, and Nightmare stepped forward, dropping his arms from his chest.

“What do you say to a little quickie before lunch, hm? To make up for it?” Bone muttered in his ear, making Nightmare giggle in a way that reminded him of a kid. Or Cat maybe, he wasn't so sure.

Their little couple-y moment was interrupted by a choking sound from the door.

“But, but, but-”

Nightmare glared daggers at the man in the doorway, stepped around Bone and proceeded to walk straight up to Skinny and slap him square across the face.

“...What is it with you and slapping people today?” Bone asked, touching his cheek where he was sure there was still a red mark in the shape of Nightmare's hand.

Skinny rubbed the side of his face with his hand, trying to soothe the stinging feeling. “Bitch!”

“Me? Look what you did!” Nightmare said accusingly, throwing his arm out in Bone's general direction.

“What did I do?”

“You hit on him! He's mine!”

“Oh christ. Don't say that, you sound like-” Bone said, but was interrupted by another dull thud from upstairs. “...Cat,” he finished, looking up at the ceiling suspiciously.

“...So?” Nightmare asked.

“It's not flattering on you.”

“Is that why you did it, then?” Nightmare asked, his tone accusing. “Because I'm not flattering?”

“...What the fuck?” Bone muttered, raising an eyebrow.

“You make no sense,” Skinny said, shaking his head and leaning against the door frame. Another slap hit him full-force, and he nearly fell over.

“He said it first!” Skinny protested, rubbing furiously at his cheek.

And Nightmare slapped Bone, then turned on Skinny again, ready to start on another tirade.

Just as he opened his mouth, Skinny smacked him. “That, is for the last one that I totally did not deserve.”

“Bitch!” Nightmare hissed, raising his hand again. Bone grabbed him around the wrist, preventing him from hitting again, then took hold of Skinny's for good measure.

“Just... stop, okay?” he said, low and serious. “You're both blowing this out of proportion, and-”

Two hands collided with his cheeks.

Before Bone could say anything, a strangled scream of sorts echoed through the ceiling.

“...That does not sound healthy.”

“Or safe,” Nightmare added.

“Or...” Skinny started, but seemingly lost the words. The other two raised their eyebrows at him. “...I just wanted to be part of the crowd, okay!”

Bone shook his head, turning his attention to their little situation that – in his eyes - held more importance than whether or not Cat and Andreas' evident fuck-fest was safe or not.

“Look,” he began. “Number one. Skinny. We were drunk, were we not?”

Skinny nodded.

“And nothing happened, did it?”

Skinny shook his head.

“And nothing ever will happen again, will it?”

“...No,” Skinny muttered sheepishly.

“Satisfied?” Bone asked, turning towards Nightmare.

He mumbled something indecipherable and shrugged. “Yeah.”

The tension in the room was so thick it could have been cut with a knife, but it was a certain childish guitarist who broke it.

“Oh my god!” Cat squealed. “You have no idea how good that just was, oh my god.” He sat himself down on Bone's bed, crossing his legs, and Bone silently thanked whatever higher forces there was that he'd put on pants before coming downstairs.

“See, I'd just woken up and I was really really horny, so I woke Andy up and at first he was kinda pissed off...”

Bone put his head in his hands. It was going to be a really long day.